Tougher than it seems

by Initiate of Panem 1234

District Seven's Avery Oak is just a frail weakling and would be killed in the bloodbath. Or is she? This year's arena, set in a prison- like environment is one you will never forget. Follow Avery as she gets reaped and go into the arena. Learn about her past, her present and her future. You would find that she is like one of our dear Victors. Read this to find out more!

1. Chapter 1

I hopped down from the tree where I was perched on precariously and landed on silent feet. Of course I did. My small stature made it possible and years of my father's training helped a lot. The trainings were for precautionary purposes, in case I got reaped. I am sixteen years old with twenty slips in the reaping bowl. Twenty of them- not a lot compared to a few hundred in total, but still scary.

I made my way carefully to the square, avoiding the glares of other people. I was unpopular, or rather, loathed by most since I've got training and came from the respectable house of Oak. My family was once prosperous, one of the best in our District, but due to my grandfather's addiction to gambling, we hit rock bottom, in terms of money and reputation.

I hated attention, ever since I got spat on by my classmates back when I was seven years old. Thus, I dressed in a grey dress with a cardigan. They said that District Seven was once a Career District, but because of some… reasons, we were one of the outer districts again. Shaking my head, I got my blood sample taken and I ran to my age sector. I had no friends, only enemies, so even if I get reaped, I won't feel sad. My father trained me hard, whipping me with his belt when I could not perform a move and slapping me. He also gave me food and shelter, and cared for me, in a way. My sister was a different matter. She believed in hugging and comforting words and is really pretty at age eighteen. We looked very different, and she had no training at all, unlike me. My mother… ran off with a Peacekeeper, the ex Head Peacekeeper. She was the most beautiful woman in our District, I was told by my father in between lashes.

A cool wind blew as our district escort, Kerry Beau, stepped on the stage. I tuned out during her speech and the old thing they played every single bloody year during the reaping. Time flew faster, but I wish it would be over and done with sooner. I could not stand another minute of this. "Now, it's time for the most interesting part of today!" Kerry warbled, wobbling as she walked to the reaping bowls. Her heels were ridiculously high and her dress was really short and tight. She plunged her hand into the bowl and picked out a slip. Her shrill voice called out almost gleefully, "Avery Oak! Averrrrrry! Honey, lucky you!" My eyes widened in horror as I fell backwards. Voices hissed in my direction, taunting me. I righted myself and ran. I ran from the crowd as a plan formulated in my mind. I would pull a Johanna Mason. I will act like a wussy little girl wanting to go home, I will act like I'm terrified, I will make myself forgettable, I will make myself seem useless. I will not get any sponsors at first, but gifts will flow in when they see my skills, when the pool is down to eight tributes, when I personally kill my opponents, when I become vicious. I can throw a knife decently and also an axe, when I reach the Cornucopia, I will-

My thoughts were interrupted as I was caught by one of the Peacekeepers. I pretended to fall down and bit my inner cheek to make my tears flow from my eyes. I covered my face to hide the lack of tears on my face, since my running away demands more tears. I acted hysterical, tearing away at the Peacekeepers. I screamed for my family, for help, but I knew that no one would, and that my plan is all good, for now.

Kerry gave me a comforting smile and drew out a slip from the male reaping bowl. "Chad Yew! Come on up, young man!" Chad Yew was the male tribute, and he was in the same year as me in school. He is tall, athletic, charming and handsome. He'll be someone I need to be afraid of. But I am unafraid of him. Why should I? I have training, he doesn't! We shook hands and were hustled to the Justice Building, with Kerry speaking loudly.

No one will visit me there. Not even my sister. I might as well think up a plan to win. Yes, to win. I will win the Games. I will, and I must. I will show them who I am. Avery Oak is not to be trifled with, even though she hardly retaliates when you pelt her with dirt. And by saying that, I suppose it's also right for me to say that… The Games have begun.

Reaping End

Once the footsteps ceased, I immediately stopped my sniffing. I dug my nails into my palms, though, and made my eyes flood with tears. Who knows if they have hidden cameras here, in this room? And… what if I die? If I die, my sister will still get on with life, with some mourning. My father might even feel frustrated that his training had gone to waste; the second child of his wife who deserted him was worthless. What did he think when I ran away? Did he know that it was an act? Or did he truly believe that I am a weakling, a nobody? I'm guessing the latter. Come to think of it, the things he did for me: making me eat second helpings of food, bringing me to the lumberyard to work with axes, letting me stay home from the ever boring school… All are for my training. He always shouted this to me when I am on the verge of giving up (fatal mistake) or I could not succeed (bad, bad mistake), "You are born to bring PRIDE and HONOUR to the ancient name of the Oaks!" I always believed in that. I believed that I am brought into this world, brought into existence because I needed to prove that the Oaks are formidable. I always believed that I am superior to my sister, even though she is older than me. I thought that my father would not want to hurt my sister's pretty face, and wanted to leave a piece of my mother behind, as my sister looked like my mother. I had my father's bushy eyebrows and ice blue eyes which are uncommon in our district. My mouth was not rosebud like my mother's, it was… medium in size. My nose was small inelegant, and my aura is like one of a withdrawn child, which, perhaps, I was all along.

I have been trying to rid my mind of the thoughts of home, but it is very hard for me to actually call my sister by her name. I don't know why. I've always called her 'sis' at home. Her name was lovely, but common. She was called Maple, named after… you know… trees. The only thing that is abundant in our district. Aside from Peacekeepers and cruelty, I suppose. My mind drifted from my pathetic life and home and I began to think of what my father would be doing right now. He could not occupy his time with training me. He is most probably at home drumming his fingers and wondering about whether I will bring pride and honour to the Oaks. Like as if we had any to speak of in the first place. And that's another reason why I'm so unpopular around our district. My tongue is too sharp.

I heard footsteps approaching the room and I looked around wildly. It was only then that I saw the beauty of the place I was in. The beauty that no house had, unless you count the Victors' Village. The doors burst open and Kerry was striding towards me, arms wide open, and cooing. I dragged my wrist across my eyes, which felt hot and swollen, thankfully. I gave some loud hiccoughs and leant into Kerry's embrace, gripping her tightly. I generally did not like anyone to touch me, and I hated hugs from anyone except my sister. I mean, Maple. I need to stop calling her 'my sister', I will now think of her as a stranger whom I know by name. A stranger named Maple.

Kerry gave me a pat on the head and kissed my cheeks, and then pulled me to my feet and murmured, "Dear, you need to stop crying! You've been crying for the whole time, honey."

"H…How do you know, Kerry?" I sniffled a little.

"I… I uh, guessed. You eyes, honey, your eyes are RED. And erm, my guesses are, erm, accurate… you know?" I knew it. There was a camera in the room. "How would we put make- up on you? You're short and ugh, not attractive at all, honey." her voice was starting to annoy me. "And dear, Alicia, you must not cry, let people see that you are strong! If you keep crying, there'll be no sponsors for you! And you don't want anyone to call you a baby, do you, honey? You are sixteen…"

She went on and on as we hopped on a black car with Chad, Blight and Johanna to the station. "Just so you know, the fashion now is the colours red and yellow! Of course red is the favourite, you know, since that's the colour of bloodshed and all. How fitting, don't you think? Well in my opinion…" she went on in some talk about her wardrobe and stuff. I tuned out and turned my attention to the sights around us.

When we stepped off the car, Kerry was still blabbering about some nonsense that I had zero interest in. The only time she shut up was when we needed to pose in front of the train. I made tears flow down my face again and I held on to Kerry. The cameras went clicking on and on and I could hear some of the photographers' comments. "Weak, this one." "Bloodbath…" "No chance, the other's good though…" My act was convincing, very convincing. A glint made its way into my eyes and I hastily lowered my head. Once we boarded the fancy tribute train, Kerry started talking, this time about me.

"Give her a break, Ker, we all need one. Let's just have some food now…" Johanna interrupted. Blight appeared behind her and gave a low chuckle. Chad was already with sticking to him. Typical. He wants to get some head start, but he won't last long… not with ME, anyway. I hope he doesn't know that I had training, or things are going to screw up BIG time. Chad turned to me, his brown eyes unreadable. I met his eyes then lowered my head, trying my best to look abashed.

I was gently led to a seat by Kerry, who seemed to want to stay close with me. I gave a tiny smile and thanked Kerry, all the while cursing the Capitol and President Snow in my mind. Johanna wore a look of contempt and plopped down on a chair, while Blight looked emotionless. Chad grabbed a seat right next to Blight and started talking about strategy to him. I felt cold anger take over my body. Blight will be manipulated by Chad and help will be given to him. My eyes flashed with disgust and thank goodness that was the time everyone was looking away from me, or I'll have a lot to explain.

Four young people clad in red swooped to our table and started serving dishes, all the while silent and with their heads bowed. The first dish was brewed pumpkin soup and I did not like the taste of the pumpkin- the sweet taste disturbed me for some reason. The waiters cleared our bowls and then came back with plates of fragrant potatoes.

One of the waiters put slices of potato on my plate, and I almost salivated at the smell of it. I delicately picked up my fork and pierced a slice of potato, and looked at it. I need to preserve my image of being a homesick and… pathetic girl of sixteen. So, I must not eat a lot, a homesick person wouldn't have an appetite, I expect. I'll eat lesser than everyone and then perhaps… sneak into the kitchen?

"Alicia, I mean, Avery dear, why aren't you eating? Don't you want to enjoy the food? Is something wrong, dearie?" I was getting too much attention from my dinner partners. I shoved the slice of potato into my mouth and the flavours erupted into a full time volcanic taste. It was garlicky, salty, peppery and with a faint scent of herbs. I controlled my impulse to gobble up all the potato slices on my plate, which Chad had done. Instead, I twisted my napkin into a pretzel, looked round, and then ate again. I took a long time and I did not even finish the potatoes when the next course came.

I made it a point to only eat half of the food on my plate each time and to shed a few tears now and then to show my 'fear'. The next dish was deep- fried dumplings with a spicy red sauce. I had to fight my impulse to gobble up all the food as it was just too delicious for words. But I knew better. Of course I did. The meal got on faster as Johanna snarled at one of the waiters to serve the dishes faster. No one dared to disobey Johanna. Not when the steak knives are out in plain view.

Chicken in sweet and sour sauce came next, followed by asparagus with a lavender infusion. Then came dessert, a magnificent affair. It was a towering cake with the layers in the colours of the rainbow and more. When I took a bite of the cake, my chops were in for a treat. I tasted everything wonderful; herbs, a bitter- sweet taste, lemon, strawberries and so much more. It was too soon that my plate was polished clean. I could not resist finishing my slice of cake, but I did refuse second helpings. Chad ate a lot more than any of us, and by the end of the meal, he looked a little green. Correction, he looked VERY green. In fact, right after he gave a choke, he puked at the table, staining the wood. "CHAD! THAT IS MAHOGANY!" Kerry cried in something close to hysteria.

I stifled my laughter and looked at my hands, but Johanna made her amusement very clear. She gave a short, sharp laugh which sounded suspiciously condescending and whispered something to Blight. Kerry waved for some of the waiters who now seemed more like servants, and made them bring Chad to his room and clean up the mess he made. Blight then hurried away, no doubt to care for his tribute.

There was an awkward silence where everyone left in the room aside from the servants pretended to look around. I was starting to get very uncomfortable, so without thinking, I blurted out my questions. "Where does all the wood from District Seven goes? Who are those people? Are they servants?" I pointed to the group of people I thought were servants.

"Those are Avoxes. They can't speak because their tongues are cut off due to their… offences against the Capitol and to all of Panem. And, Avery, the wood is for furniture. Look around you, girl, and tell me what are made of wood here!" Johanna commanded. Kerry gave a high pitched giggle and excused herself, saying, "You two will want to have some private time!" That's the last thing I want…

To tell the truth, even though I wanted to take after her in terms of strategy, I did not trust Johanna Mason. She fooled hundreds of people into thinking that she's a simple child and a weakling. She is the master of manipulation. Once Kerry was gone from the hall, Johanna turned her attention to me. "So. What are you hiding?" she demanded in a low voice after dismissing the Avoxes. I was shocked.

"I don't know what you are talking about, Johanna," I whispered. I lifted my head to look in her eyes but midway, I caught sight of the Capitol's emblem and the animal inside me rose up in fury. I tried to control my emotions, but I think that my eyes told a lot more.

"Watch those eyes, Avery. You're trying to pull off… a Johanna right? Aren't you, Avery?" she smiled knowingly, her big eyes gleaming. I realised that there was nothing to hide any longer and I gave a curt nod. She gave another smile, a grim smile. "Keep up the act. And when you get into your room, try out the room order service. You can get food through there, total privacy. Also, maintain a hunched posture and do not make eye contact. Try to keep your eyes looking teary and your cheeks red. Do not tie your hair. Make purposeful mistakes during training, get a low score, do not do anything suspicious, cry a lot. And now you'd better go back to your room and get something drab to wear. Do not attract attention. If possible, ruin your parade costume. We will be watching the reruns when we reach the Capitol, but you'll stay in your room and lock your door, pretending that you are bawling your eyes off. Later in the day, you watch the reruns on your own. Only come down to dinner when Kerry screams at your door. Get it?" I nodded breathlessly, my heart pumping with what could only be adrenaline and excitement.

I crept back to my room and it seemed like such a short time before we reached the Capitol. The colours were blinding my eyes when we reached the train station. People dressed like colourful birds are flitting around and speaking in nasally and strange accents. I glanced at Johanna and began to cry softly, then louder. Kerry gave an exasperated sigh and cupped my face in her hands. "You are not bad looking. We can make an impression, an image, if only you stop crying, honey… Now, I've got your plans for you. Chad, you shall stay and rest. Alicia, you shall go to your stylists straight away. We need to… make you look better for the audience. Maybe some serums and creams to smooth the skin. Yes, yes, we need to alter your parade costumes. You are amazingly small, you know, honey." Arghh, I hate this woman. My name is AVERY for goodness' sake! Not Alicia!

The Capitol

"Kerry, I'll go with Avery to the prep team, you can rest," Johanna spoke up unexpectedly. Before anyone had any time to react, Johanna grabbed my wrist and hauled me through the crowd of Capitol citizens. She seemed to know the way to the Training Centre very well and led me to it, then took a lift up to some storey and pushed me to three people. At least I think that they are humans. They resemble colourful birds and talk in high pitched voices to me. "So early, darling?" one of them inquired. Johanna gave all of them a look and went to a corner with them, discussing something in hushed voices.

I heard snatches of their conversation. "But that's to her disadvantage!" "Are you sure?" Then came Johanna's voice, highly agitated. "You've only done this one time, and you did it on me. Help me. Do the same, and put her in the dress I ruined. Please, Orman, Vleur, Fhrewd, please."

They gave a slight nod and I was surprised to see three of them in tears for some reason. All of them stumbled to me, made me sit and started to take out their beauty arsenals. Strangely, none of them spoke. They worked silently at my face, refusing to let me see the results. My hair was let loose and then adorned with some pink stuff which I assumed to be ribbons. I lost track of time so by the time my actual stylist came, whose name was Cynira, I was famished. Johanna seemed to understand my feelings and pretty soon, while Cynira, who is a female by the way, put me in Johanna's old dress, I had a muffin and several pancakes. Orman, Vleur and Fhrewd were looking very nervous and frightened. After careful listening, I figured out that Orman was the tall man with a tattoo of a large dog on his arm, while Vleur had gold hair so… shiny that it must be fake. Fhrewd had very, very large eyes that changed colours frequently and had her cheeks carved with patterns. They looked different from the looks of humans that I have grown accustomed to, and I had trouble looking at them, since they looked so much like muttations. However, all of them, no matter how different they looked, all did the same thing. They stood in a corner and wept.

I was led to the mirror. What stood in the mirror was a gaunt, pale and weak teenager. The dress that was on me seemed too big and I was dressed like a tree. No doubt Chad is one too, perhaps in the same design as Cynira doesn't have a lot of ideas. Vleur draped something around my shoulders and soon, my face was illuminated in a white glow. "This year's design will illuminate both of your faces," Orman said, his voice trembling. I looked into the mirror again. My face now looked, if it was possible, ever paler than before. The light casted dark shadows upon my face, and my eyes appeared to be unnaturally large; the eyeliner made them look heavily lidded and gives the impression that I had eye bags. My cheeks were concaved and in all, I looked terrible and terrified. "What do you think, Avery?" Johanna asked coolly, her eyes resting on my tattered dress.

"This… is just what I needed, Johanna. Thank you."

"Thought I'd spare you the trouble to tear your dress. I'll just tell the others that you went hysterical, eh?" she muttered.

I grimaced, "Do what you deem fit, and you have more experience after all." I am finding it harder and harder to swallow my pride now and act like a weakling, but what is done cannot be undone. I must grit my teeth and swallow my pride AND keep up the act. At least I know Johanna is on my side and trying to help me.

After a few adjustments, we made our way to the bottom level of the Remake Centre. Johanna dawdled on the way down, giving the impression that I truly went hysterical and allowing me to force tears into my eyes. When we reached our chariot, the opening music had started and I was rushing to get into the chariot. Chad caught sight of my face and was horrified, but a calm mask slipped over his features. He stood in the chariot, making no move to help me, not that I expected any. Then, all of a sudden, the horses moved and I was thrown backwards unceremoniously, hurting my back.

The crowd's cheer was still loud heard from inside the Remake Centre, but not as loud as the cheer that emanated when the District Ones' and Twos' chariot rolled out. When we got out of the great doors and into the open, the force of the cheers hit me and vibrated into my bones. It struck me how ridiculous it is to see teenagers dressed up and parading. It's like dress- up that only little children play. How childish can the Capitol audience be? They might be cheering for the District One girl right now, but once she is killed by whatever in the arena, most might even cheer and feel nothing. Where is human kindness? Are they even humans?!

I shook the thoughts out of my head and started to weep, while crouching on the floor. Chad was doing the exact opposite. He was waving and blowing kisses to the audience, smiling and generally ignoring my presence. His winsome looks and charm will win him sponsors. He has charm, no doubt, but can he kill? Can he win? No, he can't, he won't, and he mustn't. I will do it.

I rocked my body in the chariot to create some 'drama' and the force of my moving body caused Chad to lose his balance and he almost fell down. He regained his balance by clutching the sides of the chariot and continued his waving and winning people over. That expression on his face was of pure loathing and disgust. He hissed to me while grinning at the audience, "You shall pay!" I took no heed to his words and continued my rocking. Raising my head, I caught sight of my face on the screens. I looked very bad. The makeup smudged and made my face seem like one of a ghost. The lights lit my face into a paler mess and just emphasized how badly I looked. I kind of wished the stylists didn't do such a good job now. After all, what will my father think?

Finally, all the chariots came to a stop in the City Circle. I rose and looked at President Snow for a moment, who was addressing us. It was the usual speech, containing the questionable and cruel slogan: May the odds be ever in your favour. If the odds are in everyone's favour, then who will win? The speech seemed to be longer and President Snow ended his speech not with the trademark slogan, but with an ominous paragraph. "I would like to remind the Citizens of Panem that the Hunger Games came about due to a rebellion that many gave their lives for, whether or not on our side or the rebels'. Brother turned to brother, and blood ran down our streets. The peace we fought for, the duties we all carried out to serve our country were not for naught. We had peace, we had the Hunger Games. Be thankful, and tributes… fight for your glory and we shall all hope that you get it!" Damn him. What an ending! The Capitol audience didn't seem to think that way though. They were yelling and shrieking and making guttural noises that I could not identify. President Snow gave a final wave before departing.

The national anthem played and a quick shot of each District's tribute was taken, and by then, I looked like a fine mess. The doors slammed behind us as Chad raised a hand and slapped me across the face. My defensive training kicked in as I very nearly punched him on the nose and kicked him in the balls, but Johanna held me back and Blight did the same to Chad.

"She can't throw a decent punch, why do you worry?" he smirked. I lowered my head, not in shame but in fury. I do not want them to see the hatred in my eyes. The loathing I felt, the contempt, the anger that I want to lash out. I turned away and walked back to the Training Centre with Johanna, amidst jeers from Districts One, Two, Four and Chad. "Hey, Seven, you might wanna hope for the odds to be in your favour, 'cause you'll need them!" the boy from the District Two chariot shouted at my retreating figure. Mocking laughter greeted his insult and even their mentors made no move to stop them. Well, of course not. I'm not a threat to them, they think.

I bit my tongue and made no comment, but deep down, I was seething. When we step into the arena, that District Two moron shall hope for the odds to be in his favour, because he shall need them. I promise. Nothing shall stand in my way.

Interview with Caesar Flickerman

Next up for me is the interview, which, I suppose, is the toughest job. I'll have to convince every single person that I am a weakling, just another one to kill before the crown goes to the strongest tribute. The strongest tribute this year, according to the reruns of the reapings, is the District Two boy: Flash Cotton. He had a Victor's bearing and looked really handsome. But looks will not allow him to win. Unless he's Finnick Odair.

While I was immersed in my thoughts, Cynira had put me in a simple yellow dress which reached till my ankles. My hair was not tied so that it could frame my face and make me look as innocent and young as possible; however, it had a beautiful clip which is an assortment of leaves on it. When I was finally led to the mirror, what I saw shocked me.

I do not have such soft eyes which looked helpless. I do not have such a pert nose. I do not have that wavy hair which softened my features. I do not look like a twig. I am not willowy. But… what stood in the mirror was me. And by some stroke of magic or skill, I was transformed. My skin was smooth but not caked with makeup and my nails are filed and neat, but not polished. I… I look like a stranger even to myself. The colour of my dress attracts attention because of its brightness, but my shoes were of a dull brown colour. I was confused about my outfit.

Before I could ask any questions, Johanna whisked me to line up for my interview. Each interview is three minutes long. The three minutes are precious for me to convince everyone. Everyone who matters. The District One girl, Sealesty Blue (ugh, what a name) breezed through her interview in that style we've all come to expect from District One. After her interview, I kinda tuned off, thinking about what I would say.

The time passed quickly and before I knew it, I was on the stage, clasping my hands and staring at my feet. "Avery, how do you feel about taking part in our annual Hunger Games?" Caesar inquired, his dyed orange eyebrow raising. Caesar looks RIDICULOUS in orange.

"I… I feel… I don't know… I miss my home, I want to go home!" I sniffed. The crowd let out an 'Aww' but I bet they wouldn't care if I died. Caesar smiled sympathetically, in that way only Capitol Citizens smile.

"Well, you just win this, and you can go home, right, folks?" he had a strange look on his face which I think was supposed to be a smile of some sort. I shook my head.

"I saw my odds and… I know I won't win. But… thanks, Caesar. All of you are so kind to me," I raised my head and gave what I hoped was a trembling smile. I caught my face on one of the screens and I marveled at my acting ability. Then, I put my head in my hands.

"Now, now, dear, the odds don't matter! We've seen many tributes fall even when their odds are in their favour!" There. He said it. He talked about the odds. A flash of anger rushed through me and I stiffened.

"What will be your strategy, Avery?" Caesar tried to keep the conversation going.

"I… I don't have one, Caesar," peeking through my fingers, I saw Johanna give me a subtle thumb up. Knowing that I was doing the right thing, I grinned, carefully shielding my face.

The whole interview then proceeded into the direction of my family. I refused to give away anything, but I did so carefully, by sobbing and pretending that I could not understand his questions, constantly saying how much I miss my father and sister. My three minutes was a frustrating one for Caesar and me, so it was a relief when the buzzer sounded and I stumbled away. Caesar couldn't get me to open up and I can't speak my mind, so for once, I felt the teeniest bit connection between us.

I went on to listen to Chad's interview and I immediately snorted. He was foolish. Foolish. He made jibes at my abilities and made fun of Raven Carter, the District Two girl who seems haunted and unstable. Unstable people are dangerous, and thus, she is highly dangerous. I do hope Raven will kill him so I don't have to. I bet she will, anyway. Either her or the Career pack. He acted like he already won the Games, flaunting his skills and intelligence. Bad move there.

I was still smirking when Johanna grabbed my hand pulled me to a side and whispered whatever Districts One to Six have said, and she gave me a run through of my competitors. A finger of fear crept through me as my smirk disappeared from my face. This Games is going to be harder than I thought…

Training

There would be two days of training, then we will all go for our private sessions. These three days are going to suck, as I must act all the way. Johanna instructed me to appear as someone who doesn't know how to DIFFERENTIATE between a blade and the handle. It's going to be tough.

Atala, the Head Trainer, gave us some instructions and ground rules- not killing one another until we reach the arena and so on. I stood there for about five seconds, observing where the others were going. The Careers headed straight for the deadliest looking weapons: maces, knives, spears and so on. Chad tried to mingle with them and by the looks of it, he succeeded. Just my luck.

I went to the axe stations, and immediately, the Careers turned to see how I was performing. The District Two girl was right behind me. I lifted an axe, which was just nice for me, but I pretended that it was too heavy. I lifted it up, and released me grip of the axe, letting it drop just fifteen centimeters away from Raven. She gave a death stare and strode off with the Careers, who jeered at me. I acted embarrassed and went to the knot tying station, frustrating the trainer a lot, so he bade me goodbye with great relief.

I looked around once again, and realised that alliances are already formed. I do not want allies. No one would want ME as an ally anyway. So, I went to the archery station and misfired a lot of arrows. I had the knack of it at last, and managed to shoot the arrows to where I wanted it to go, give or take some distance. Of course, I never aimed for the bull's-eye.

After a few rounds with a staff- which I was woefully weak at- I went back to the axe station, plainly for the mere pleasure of holding one in my hands. When I got there, every single person cleared out, including the trainer. I scanned the room to see who is near to the target board, and my eyes fell on the District One girl. Grinning inwardly, I flung the axe and heard a sigh of relief from the trainer. At least I didn't drop it behind me. However, his expression changed from that to one of the ultimate mingle of fear and disgust when the axe veered grossly off course and stuck to the ground right next to the District One girl. The look that she gave me was of pure venom. Perfect. I hate those Careers.

The session was over and we disbanded to go back to our rooms and rest. I scampered back to mine as fast as possible, eager to spend some time on my own. Through a mouthpiece, I ordered some bread and chicken to eat, as I planned to eat as little as possible for dinner. In a minute or so, the food arrived. I gobbled up the food and ordered more, mindful to eat those rich in starch to keep my energy up and help me gain more muscle.

After eating everything I ordered, I searched the room for the tools I needed to help me train. After some time, I finally got a pair of scissors, a ribbon, and a marker. I dismantled the scissors, leaving two halves of it. That'll be my knives.

I took the 'knife', and threw it at the wall, where I had drawn a rough sketch of the target board. My knife- throwing was good, due to some of my father's training, but I needed to improve my stance. Slowly, as I became more confident, I switched on the central cooling system and released the ribbon, letting it flutter around the room. I wasn't very good with moving targets so I spent quite some time perfecting my throw. Then, I was called to dinner. I changed out of my comfortable exercise wear into a dress (ugh) that my prep team placed specifically for my use. It was a pale blue thing which made me look thin and hollow. After all, I didn't want them to like me. I want them to pity me. Then I'll throw the pity back in their faces. I would show them what a monster I was. The monster they created with their Hunger Games, their districts, their starvation.

I dawdled on my way down and when I slipped into my chair, I was served a huge helping of steak. I was still moderately full so I picked on my food and shoved them in my mouth slowly. Johanna, Blight and Kerry were trying to engage us in a conversation about our odds and skills. Chad was talking about his powerful alliance and his skills with axes and a new found talent in swords. He also told them about my unfortunate incidents with the axes. He didn't know anything. I took pleasure in that fact until he made a remark, "Well, Avery, coming from District Seven, it's so sad that you don't know how to wield an axe! Pathetic!"

I was riled but forced myself not to show it. I swear, I'll kill everyone in his alliance. Every single one of those pathetic idiots. I excused myself and hurried back to my room, complaining of a stomachache. I then resumed my training by doing some minor stretching and then I drifted to sleep.

I woke up at six the next day, ordered a ridiculous amount of food and changed into a shirt and cargo pants. I sift through them, eating the starchiest ones first, knowing that they will help with the weight. After about ten rolls and even more potatoes and ham, I was bursting. I quickly put on a loose tunic to cover my bloating stomach. It wouldn't be bloated for long, though. I sat quietly, thinking about the arena and at eight o'clock, when I lost the urge to vomit, I started to do handstands to develop my arm muscles.

I was doing sit- ups when Kerry knocked on my door, calling me for some 'brekky'. The mention of that made me nauseous and it was with great reluctance that I got down to eat. As soon as I sat down in my seat, a large platter of various assortments of pastries was presented to me. A cup of juice was set next to it and a bowl of soup was on my left. I drank the soup in minute spoonfuls, declining Kerry's offers of a roll, a cake and some other food. They think that I'm scared and nervous, but the truth is, if I eat anymore, I will vomit. My stomach felt as if water was sloshing inside it, making me heave. Chad smirked and said that it was alright if I wanted to cry, since I had done it so often already. Screw him. On the other hand, my heaving means differently to them, which, I suppose, is a good thing. Johanna obviously didn't think like them though. She gave a significant look and there was a trace of a smile on her face.

At about ten, we headed for training. I went to the spear station this time, hoping that I do have a skill with spears. But alas, I was mediocre at best and utterly lousy at worst. Still, that worked a little to my benefit as I think I convinced everyone that I was hopeless. However, I saw the Careers, including Chad, look at me a couple of times, and whispering. I hope they haven't seen through my plan, or everything I did would be for nothing. I don't think that they know, though. How would they? Unless… unless their mentors warned them to be careful, then I'll have to brush up my acting skills.

I hastened to the knife station and purposefully cut my left palm on one of the knives. I started to well up with tears as the pain was sharp. I let out a loud hiccup and caused a slight disturbance as everyone's eyes swiveled to me. The District One girl had a malevolent gleam in her eyes and sneered at me, "Someone doesn't know how to differentiate between a knife blade and the handle!" I shuddered and made my eyes leak tears. I was then brought to a nurse who stitched up the shallow cut and told to return to training.

I walked back to training slowly, and when I got there, lunch was served. As usual, the Career alliance ate together rowdily. I ate only a muffin and skewers, then I curled up in a corner to observe my fellow tributes. There are only a few of them who look decently well fed, and the rest are just some distractions along the way. The District Four girl seems to be hiding something, though. She was quiet but there was just something lurking behind her high cheekbones and her dark eyes. I
think her name is Lupa, and in a way, she looks more dangerous than Flash. Brains over brawn.

After the break, I went straight back to my room and practiced my knife throwing on moving targets. I was getting so much better now. Soon, I was exhausted and fell asleep, only waking up to order food to gorge myself.

I went down for dinner after Kerry's persistent bugging and did not eat much. Johanna later visited me and gave me a few tips on how to score a '3' tomorrow, for our private sessions. She was a good mentor, but one can see the lines on her face and her loathing for her job.

Too soon, it was time for me to wake up and go for my private training session. I was very nervous as I waited for my turn. Thank god I wasn't from District Twelve, the poor souls have to wait for all of us!

"Avery Oak." a cool female voice sounded. I leapt off my chair and got into the gymnasium. I threw several axes that went astray and fell short of, or beyond the target. I hate this. I hate this charade of pretending. But for my survival, I have to. I threw some spears for comfort- not because I'm good at it, but because I didn't have to pretend that I'm bad at it. It's a twisted logic, I know.

Not knowing what to do next, I lingered at the edible plants station, wrongly identifying six of the ten plants they showed me. "Ah, Ms. Oak, you are dismissed," one of the Gamemakers, the Head Gamemaker, if I'm not wrong, gave a tight, condescending smile. I nodded and tripped over my own feet on purpose and hurried out.

If I'm not mistaken, I just secured myself a three.

Training scores

I took the lift to my room and locked myself inside, letting others think that I was breaking down in my room while, in fact, I would be taking a leisurely shower and gorging myself on the decadent food. Oh, and training.

I went into the shower and instead of just showering with cold water and soap like I did for the past days, I went in for a full bath with warm water, fifty sponges, about a hundred kinds of shampoos and soaps and even a massage conducted by a machine. It was huge and fluffy and had music playing out with an electronic female voice asking for instructions and my comfort. The downside to it is that it kept switching off by itself and the massaging techniques weren't good. I only liked the soothing music which played out but after a few hard prods, I got up from the machine and began training.

Tossing a few knives to the wall, I did some cartwheels and jumps to improve my stamina and agility. Then all of a sudden, someone knocked on my door repeatedly. I bit my inner cheek to make my eyes water in case it wasn't Johanna.

I was right not to let my guard down. It was Kerry who sashayed in and spoke to me, "Avery, let's go eat some food and see those scores, darling! Or, hmm, since the scores are going to be shown in just five minutes, we'll watch it first! How did you session go, honey?"

"It was… bad. I'm sorry, Kerry! I think… I think I'll get a low score," I whimpered, disgusting myself with my tone. But I need to adopt that kind of voice to ensure my utmost survival. She pursed her lips and gave me a hug. I flinched from her hug and she looked at me with surprise. I didn't know what to say or do, so I began to cry.

Kerry gave a sad sigh and held my hand, bringing me to the hall. Caesar Flickerman was on the screen, announcing that District One boy's score. A nine. His district partner scored an eight. The District Two tributes scored ten and nine respectively. Caesar sighed after announcing the District Three's scores, which are predictably low. In contrast, District Four did well, scoring the typical Career scores of eight. Districts Five and Six did badly, and then Chad's face popped up. He scored an eight. The room erupted into cheers for him but everyone sobered immediately as my dismal score of three flashed on the screen with Caesar's groan. Everyone looked at me with pity. And I hate it. But it was to my favour. They didn't know how capable I was. They wouldn't know till the arena.

Kerry turned to me, her eyes bright. "Avery… don't be sad, let's all have some dinner now, okay? Then you and Johanna can talk." Is it possible that I've got a caring escort? Do I see a glimmer of care and concern in her? Or was it the blurry image from my fake tears? I would guess the latter. They don't make caring people in the Capitol. There are none of them here. Absolutely none.

Acting hysterical, I ran away from the hall and into my room. I was preparing to avoid all of them and eat in my room when Kerry's shrill voice called me to get OUT of my room and go to eat with them, since according to her, low scores doesn't matter. I screamed at her to go away(rather hysterically too, I might add) and finally, she did. Was she caring for me? I do not know and do not need to know. I just want to be alive.

Tomorrow would be the day I venture into the Great Unknown a.k.a. the Arena itself. Then, at the age of sixteen, I'll see where my life goes. Both ways, I'll be going home, either in a wooden box or as a Victor, bathed in riches. But I do not love my home. On the other hand, I want to survive. If I die, I do not need to tolerate my father. If I survive, I'll need to spend my time at home with my father's wrath. I was confused. I hate being confused.

I climbed into my bed, my appetite for dinner gone with my thoughts. I closed my eyes and drifted into a dreamless sleep.

I woke up the next morning with Cynira banging on my door and dragging me to breakfast, telling me that I'll have it alone. Seeing no reason to hide any longer, I ate the amount of food I usually do, only slightly lesser as I'll be running soon. I was then dressed in something light. I was frantic now. I want to survive, I do not want to go home. What should I do?

I didn't have the chance to think any further as Cynira escorted me to a room, where I will wait for my ascension into the arena. Johanna was there waiting for me. She held out a cloth wrapped, nice smelling thing to me and hurried off, with the last few words, "Your district token. May you be reminded of home." That was the last thing I wanted to remember…

I was pushed gently towards the tube that would take me into the arena. I clung on to the last fathomable thought in my mind as I saw the place that I would be in for the next weeks. "This is not home," I thought, "This is not home at all."

The Arena

And indeed, it wasn't home. It was an enclosed area, and I was alone. Where is the Cornucopia?! I took my district token and lifted it to my nose. It smelt of home, of the pine needles in our woods. I was filled with a sense of urgency. I needed to get out of this… cell, this is a jail cell! Blood was on the walls in vibrant colours of crimson and they looked like fingerprints and handprints. As if that wasn't enough, screams reverberated into the gloom and chilled me to my bones.

I rushed out of my cell and was faced with two paths. I ran to the one on my left, praying that I'll be safe there. There was a platform to go to the shining Cornucopia where I'll get my supplies. Should I? The bloodbath must be still ongoing as the clang of metal against metal was still ringing in my ears.
I needed to get food and water, preferably weapons as well. This is a chance I'll have to take.

I climbed down to the Cornucopia and was faced with no adversaries. I sprinted to the nearest backpack I saw and snatched it up. It felt compact in my hands but I needed a weapon- any weapon. But I had to go now before I get spotted. I guess I'll make my own weapon. I was running from the Cornucopia when the District Ten boy ran past me. I grabbed the backpack and sheath of arrows off his back, forcing him to a stop. He had no other weapons. Checking that no one was behind me, I took one of the arrows and stabbed it to his throat. I then took the bow and bolted away, knowing that no one saw my deed and the only person in the arena who knows what I had done is already dead.

Stopping at a dark corner, I ran through my list of options. I could make camp at this desolate space, or I could continue running into… somewhere. I had no idea where I was. I wanted to distance myself away from the others, but also be near enough to safety. Not knowing what to do again, I simply followed my instincts and jogged straight ahead. Then I climbed a ladder to a grey building, my slight stature making it easy for me. I walked into another jail- like place and then the horrible realization hit me. I'll be forced to spend my days with my adversaries in this prison. The alternative was equally bleak- I would spend my time outside the jail, roaming about. I chose the latter. I need time to myself to think and evade. I do not trust anyone in this arena. Raven Carter, the District Two girl, was suspicious of me, according to my prep team's beliefs. She would be one of the strongest with Flash, her district partner. They would act together until perhaps the final moment when they break off or one of them gets killed. I was especially wary of the female tributes, though. They seemed to be both intelligent and vicious. The male ones are just ruthless monsters who seek destruction. I fear brains more than brawn.

At the last moment, I slid into the prison and found it thankfully empty- which was strange. I chose the cell opposite the door for easy getaway. I locked the door of my cell and retreated to the darkest corner of it.

I opened the backpacks I had and transferred the contents of the smaller backpack to the one I got from the District Ten boy. In total, I had two knives- one hunting and one survival knife. The hunting knife was just for skinning and cutting throats open, but the survival knife was a wonder to behold. It was sturdy and has a hollow grip with a ring seal to keep out water. The grip contains some thin but strong lines to make snares, some matches and a long strip of bandage. There were no axes in the backpacks, but I had knives and a bow and arrows! Granted, my skill with bows isn't good, but it will do. Rummaging further into the bag, I found a bottle of water, a small, capped bottle of iodine, cheese, dried meat, crackers and canned beans. There was also an empty water skin, a mummy- style sleeping bag and some freeze dried packet meals. Perfect.

Well, maybe not so perfect when I turned around and saw a huge dog in front of me. It looked horrible, its breath stank, its saliva dripped down its face, its eyes were mean and small and its mouth was wide open in a full out snarl. Put simply, I'm in a ton of shit and it just hit the fan.

Oh, joy.

The dog's razor sharp teeth were in full display. I cringed from it. It might be a muttation for all I know. I raised my hands up in the air, showing a sign of submission. I knelt down in front of it, head bent, trying to look as submissive as possible. Then, before my eyes, the dog changed into a little puppy, adorable and loving. Wasting no time, I took my hunting knife and sliced it into half. I don't care if it was harmless, I do not want to share my living spaces with a dog. He can be cooked for a stew later, if no one comes. I threw its small body into the next cell.

It was then the cannons boomed. Twelve deaths today. TWELVE. Half of us, gone. The bloodbath is finally over. I wonder who had died. I hope Chad is dead, so that'll spare him the torture I would inflict on him when I find him. When I find the Careers, I will kill them. I hate them. And Chad shall die first.