Harry Pothead and the Sorcerer's Bong

Harry Pothead is this scrawny nerdy kid who is as poor as hell and likes to get stoned on his free time. His friend Ron, is a red headed freckled ass who is trying to grow a beard. His other friend Hermione is a goody-goody little miss smarty pants who tries too hard to get people to like her.

They all first meet at he Hogwarts express. Harry was sitting on the train when Ron came stumbling into his compartment. Ron to Harry, looked allmessed up. His hair was all messed up. He smelt of smoke and his eyes were glazed and he was carrying a brown paper bag.

"Hi, I'm Harry." Harry said to Ron.

"Oh, I'm Ron." Ron said.

"What you got in the bag? A sandwich?" Harry asked.

"Pot. Want some?"

"Sure why not? I've never tried it before." Harry replied.

And that's how it all started for Mr. Pothead. Soon enough smoke was filling up the compartment and leaking out from under the doors.

Hermione just happened to walk by and noticed the smoke. She was carrying a brown paper bag. She entered their compartment and saw Ron and Harry smoking. They were both as high as a kite.

Harry and Ron screamed.

"Oh, my goodness." Hermione says.

"Please don't tell any one." Harry begged. "I'm not always like this. It was him!"

Harry points at Ron.

"Hey!" Ron says.

"Oh, my goodness! I've always wanted to try that, but I never know where to get it! Can I have some?" Hermione asked eagerly.

"Sure." Ron answered surprised.

Hermione has never smoked before, (she was always a drinker) but there was a first time for everything. Hermione was always desperate to fit in so she would do whatever it took to fit in.

"WoooooHooooo!" Hermione screamed as she collasped onto her seat.

"Man Hermione, your as high as hell!" Ron said.

"Hey, I have an idea, let's listen to The Strokes on the mini stereo that's in here." Harry suggested.

So Harry popped in the cd. So now they are all high and the compartment is filled with smoke. And they are listening to The Strokes. It doesn't get any more stoned than that.

Before they knew it, 45min has passed and the train blew the whistle that signaled they were at their stop.

So Ron, Harry, and Hermione opened their door and stepped out of their compartment. They stopped and looked around. Then they saw that all the other students were in their uniforms.

"Holy shit, we forgot to change!" Hermione said.

"Crap." Harry said.

So they just threw their robes over their normal clothes. Some people were starring at them.

"Fuck offyou bloody motherfuckers!" Ron yelled at them.

They walked out of the train staggering onto the platform. They went to go get their luggages.

Harry hands Ron's luggage to Ron.

"Man Ron. It feels like there's nothing in there." Harry says.

"Yeah, there's like a rat or something in there." Ron says, like he could care less.

He chucks it on the ground. Then a rat sqeaks.

"Look there's Hagrid." Harry says.

"Do you know that creature?" Hermione asks.

"Yeah." Harry said.

They walk over to Hagrid.

"Hey, Hagrid." Harry says.

"Hey, you three." Hagrid says to them.

"Do we know you?" Hermione asks.

Hagrid justs ignores that.

"So, did you remember to get all of yer books?" Hagrid asks.

"Huh?" Ron says. "We were supposed to get books?"

"Why do you guys smell funny?"

"Uhhh........." Harry says.

"Oh, it crap. You know Scabbers took a dump all over us." Hermione lied.

"Oh. Well in that case you three best be getting a shower then." Hagrid says.

"Yeah, we know, bye." Hermione said as she shoves Harry and Ron away from Hagrid. Harry, Ron, and Hermione walk quickly the other way.

Hagrid stood there thinking to himself.

" They didn't smell like rat droppings, they smelled like smoke." He thought to himself. "But it can't be. There's only one place in the world where they can get that. The Forbidden Forest."

As the three of them walked away Hermione was thinking to herself.

"Man, if Hagrid knows we'll be in so much trouble." She thought. "Because there is only one place in the world where we can get that stuff. The Forbidden Forest."

"Hurry up let's leave." Hermione says as they walk along to the castle.

She shoves them up the pathway.

Back at the platform Hagrid is looking for Harry Ron and Hermione. All the first years were supposed to sail along the lake with Hagrid to reach the castle.

"I guess I'll have to leave them behind." Hagrid said.

"Do I know you?" Says a first year standing next to him.

Hagrid just clears his throat, turns around and walks away.