Paint's covering the disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution or GI Joe characters. Here's another fun fic for you to enjoy.
Paintball Pandemonium
"Out of all the crazy stunts we've done," Logan grumbled as he fiddled with his goggles. "This is the dumbest." He looked at the assembled group of Misfits and X-Men in the woods in back of the X-Mansion. "And that is saying something."
"Funny I thought something like this would appeal to you," Scott remarked as he checked his weapon.
"I'm with Wolverine here," Low Light grunted. "Paintball is stupid. Give me real guns any day!"
"The goal of this exercise is to practice working as a team without powers and without killing each other," Roadblock said. "Trust me this exercise will build team unity between all the guys…and girls."
"You are trying to build some team unity between the Misfits and the X-Men by giving them guns and having them shoot at each other?" Cover Girl asked.
"Yeah that'll work," Logan scoffed.
"I know you're a bit skeptical about this…" Roadblock told them. "But if you think about it, it's good training."
"Training for what?" Kurt spoke up. "How to blow each other up?" The Misfits and X-Men were wearing camouflage gear and goggles.
"I thought we were already experts at that," Bobby agreed. "At least Boom Boom is."
"Tell me about it! I don't need training for that! This green is so not my color," Tabitha looked at her outfit.
"This exercise will teach all of you how to work as a team," Scott told them. "Not to mention giving you practice on tactics without using your powers."
"In other words an exercise in futility," Hank folded his arms. He and Lina were on the side wearing doctor's coats and medics uniforms. "Fortunately Dragonfly we were able to be exempt from this travesty by being the medical corps."
"That's not exactly going to help us," Lina reminded him. "In fact I think we may end up having the hardest job."
"First squad is Team Alpha," Scott read. "Which I will be leading."
"Big shock," Lance snorted.
"On Team Alpha will be Jean," Scott continued. "Rogue, Iceman, Scarlet Witch, Dead Girl, Firestar and Berzerker."
"Are you okay with this?" Althea asked Wanda.
"As long as I get to shoot my brother I don't really care," Wanda remarked.
"Team Beta lead by Wavedancer," Scott went on. "On it will be Quicksilver, Skullfire, Boom Boom, Xi, X23, Shooter and Jubilee."
"Great," Pietro drawled. "We get all the psychos."
"We were just going to say that about you," Tabitha glared at him.
"All right, settle down," Scott called out. "Now we need to be organized in order to know what we're doing in order to accomplish our goal."
SPLAT!
SPLAT!
SPLAT!
"Or everyone could just run off and shoot each other without caring whose side you're on…" Scott sighed as he looked at the paint globs on his uniform.
SPLAT!
A big glob of yellow paint dripped down Scott's visor. "That's it! You're dead Drake!"
"I think it's safe to say we all saw that coming," Logan sighed as several kids took off. "COME BACK HERE!" Several of the adults ran off after them.
SPLAT!
"OWWWWWWW!" Ray was heard screaming. "THOSE PAINTBALL THINGYS HURT!"
"Looks like we have our first patient," Hank sighed. "Come on Dragonfly, bring the bandages and the paint remover."
The only ones remaining were Cover Girl, Kitty, Rogue, Shane, Doug, Betsy, Dead Girl and Jubilee. "Okay all in favor of blowing this off and hitting the mall raise your hands," Cover Girl called to the remaining kids. All of them did so.
"I thought we were banned from the mall?" Dead Girl asked.
"We'll just use our watches to go to another one," Cover Girl explained. "Besides do you really want to do this?"
"No," All the students said at once.
"Reminds me too much of those stupid Danger Room exercises," Rogue said.
"Yeah I get enough of guns back home," Shane admitted.
"Running around getting shot at is too much like any other day around here," Doug agreed.
"The only hunting I like to do is hunting for bargains," Kitty said. "It's not so violent."
"This from the girl who kicked three women and elbowed another just for one purse?" Rogue asked.
"It was a big sale, 75 percent off plus an extra ten percent off," Kitty glared. "It was the last one in its color."
"Anyone else would have done the same," Jubilee agreed.
"Anyone else equally psychotic," Betsy remarked.
"Let's roll," Cover Girl led the group away.
Meanwhile the pandemonium continued. "I hate this," Logan growled. "Stupid kids acting like idiots. They're bad enough with their powers. Why not give them guns? Yeah that will make things easier!"
"Calm down Wolverine," Roadblock said. "No need to make a scene."
"I swear it's like some moron sets up these stupid situations for nothing more than a cheap laugh!" Logan snapped.
"Oh that's not completely…" Roadblock began.
RRUMMMMBBLLEEEE!
ZAPPPP!
"YEOW!" Shipwreck could be heard screaming. "STORM! BABE I SWEAR I THOUGHT YOU WERE A SHRUB! AAAAAAHHHH!"
"FRY POPEYE! FRY!" Ororo shouted.
ZAP!
Roadblock looked at Logan. "Maybe you have a point."
"Pow! Pow! Pow!" Bobby yelled as he shot paintballs.
"CHARGE!" Jamie cried out as several of his multiples ran by shooting.
"ADRIAN!" Roberto shouted as he ran by. "Wait…Wrong Stallone movie. AAAAHHHHHHH!"
SPLAT!
"ALL RIGHT! THAT'S IT!" Hank yelled as he grabbed a paint gun and started to chase around Sam and Fred. "SHOOT ME WILL YOU? EAT PAINT, SUCKERS!"
"Beast you're a medic! You're not supposed to shoot them!" Lina chased after him.
"Why not? They're shooting me!" He pointed to his paint stained back.
"AAAAHHHHHH!" The Multiple Army ran as fast as it could away from Trinity.
"COME BACK BABY DOLL!" Daria shouted as they ran past.
"CONSIDER YOURSELF A PRISONER IN OUR WAR OF LOVE!" Quinn called out.
"SOMEBODY CALL THE GENEVA CONVENTION!" Jamie screamed as he ran for his life.
"They're really getting into this aren't they?" Roadblock blinked as he saw several students and teachers shoot at each other and run amok.
"Yeah and they keep forgetting that when they get hit they're out of the game," Logan grumbled as he saw a paint covered Bobby chase around everyone.
"Really? That's how it works?" Kurt stopped as he skidded by.
"Yes!" Logan told him.
"Oh," Kurt said. "I did not know that."
"Now you know," Todd said. "And knowing is…"
"Shut up Toad!" Logan fired his own weapon at him but missed.
SPLAT! SPLAT!
"AAHHH! I'm hit!" Kurt hammed it up as he fell to the ground. There was red paint was on his uniform.
"Nice aim," Roadblock snickered.
"Shut up," Logan glared at him.
"Noooooooo!" Todd hammed it up as well. He dropped to his knees beside Kurt. "Elf! Buddy! Speak to me!"
"I'm going! I'm going…" Kurt coughed. "Going…going…"
"You had to tell them about the death part didn't you?" Roadblock looked at Logan. "You couldn't just let it pass could you?"
"I'm dying! Dying!" Kurt wailed.
"You ain't gonna die!" Todd wailed as he held him. "Not today! You hear me buddy? Not today!"
"I see…I see a white light…" Kurt reached out.
"Stay away from the light! Stay away from the light!" Todd shouted.
"That's not the only thing they should stay away from," Lance rolled his eyes as he walked by. "Okay who gave them the pixie sticks?"
"Toad…My girl…You have to tell her…" Kurt coughed.
"What? What buddy? What?" Todd asked.
"Tell her…" Kurt coughed. "Love lifts us up where we belong!"
Then both Todd and Kurt began to sing. "Where the eagles fly on a mountain high…"
"All right! That's it! Break it up!" Logan roared. "ALL RIGHT EVERYONE STOP SHOOTING AND COME OUT RIGHT NOW!"
"Aw come on Logan, you're ruining our fun," Sam staggered out. Nearly all the X-Men and Misfits had paint covering their uniforms.
"Well you ruined our lesson," Roadblock told them. "Okay we're missing people. Cover Girl? Kitty, Jubilee, Dead Girl…"
"They're at the mall," Wanda called out. "Shooter, Cypher, Rogue and Psylocke went with 'em."
"Well that will help 'em hunting down the sales," Low Light grunted. "What about Quicksilver?"
"What about Quicksilver?" Lance folded his arms. "Think for a moment. You gave him a paintball gun and a lot of ammo."
"He's left the course hasn't he?" Jean sighed.
"Odds are yes," Lance looked at her.
"Knowing him, he's probably off shooting at cars on the freeway or something," Scott said.
"He wouldn't do that," Todd told him. "That's too slow for him."
"That's right," Jean said. "He's probably off shooting at targets he thinks deserves his attention."
"BAYVILLE HIGH!" Scott shouted.
"SENATOR KELLY!" Lance realized.
"Duncan Matthews?" Jean thought. "The Mayor?"
"All of the above?" Wanda thought aloud.
"I knew this was a bad idea…" Logan put his hand on his forehead and rubbed it. "I knew it was a bad…stupid idea!"
"That was pretty dumb of you guys," Fred agreed.
"Uncharacteristically stupid if you ask me," Todd said.
"You thought that as well?" Kurt asked. "Now that I think about it, this was not something I would expect from Logan or Roadblock. Shipwreck maybe but…"
"Well obviously Shipwreck would do something as stupid as this," Ororo spoke up. "No question."
"She's right there," A slightly singed Shipwreck spoke up. "I would do something like this."
ZAAPP!
"What? I was agreeing with you!" Shipwreck shouted as he clung to a tree, barely missing Ororo's lightning bolt.
"You didn't have to agree with your hand on my…" Ororo shouted.
"ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! WE GET IT!" Logan shouted. "WE GET IT!"
"And we're going to get it if we don't track down Pietro," Roadblock groaned.
"So what do we do?" Jamie called out.
"Go inside, watch the news and beat him up when he comes home," Althea suggested.
"Sounds like a plan to me," Scott agreed.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
"And in today's news Senator Edward Kelly's home was attacked by an unidentified assailant using a paintball gun…" Reporter Trish Tilby spoke from her news desk. "Also attacked were the Washington FOH building and the local chapter of Purity."
"Yup, that was pretty much a no-brainer," Wanda quipped as she saw a shot of Duncan Matthews covered in paint. "And speaking of which…"
"We have just been informed of another paintball attack, one within the office of one of the generals in the Pentagon," Trish spoke. "General Eddington, best known for his participation in the Mutant Hearings on Capitol Hill has been sent to the hospital for skin irritation and mild bruises. He was heard saying and I quote: These Damn Paintball Things Hurt."
"Oh boy…" Roadblock covered his face.
"All security cameras have been mysteriously damaged so there are no pictures of exactly who the Paintball Assassin is," Trish read. "And we have confirmed another attack on the Office of FEMA…Apparently it has been flooded by someone tampering with the sprinkler system. A sign on the wall written in paintball splatters saying 'Ha! Ha! What Goes Around Comes Around' points to a possibility of either a member of the same gang perpetrating these attacks or a copycat of some kind…"
"Remy has to admit, he kind of enjoys that last one…" Remy chuckled.
"Okay so instead of killing him we'll only ground him for a couple of weeks," Roadblock sighed. "But no more stupid ideas!"
"Yeah, like that's going to happen!" Logan rolled his eyes.