"Distractions"
By darthelwig
*** I own nothing. I'm just having fun. ***
Vision had a great deal to think about.
He sat alone, as per usual since Wanda had left, and contemplated his choices.
He had never stopped to wonder about how emotion could negatively affect the decisions he would need to make. Having had no previous experience with them, he did not understand how truly distracting emotions, even those perceived as positive, could become. He had not understood the kind of liability they represented.
He did now. Now that he had injured Colonel Rhodes during the disastrous battle at the Leipzig/Halle airport.
He had allowed himself to become... concerned... about Wanda Maximoff's condition during the battle. Colonel Rhodes had stopped her from aiding Captain Rogers in his escape, but had caused her great pain in the process, and Vision's thoughts had been on her ever since. It was during his careful checking on Wanda that he had been instructed to return to the battle, and so he had. Carelessly. Without his normal level of thought behind it. And Colonel Rhodes had paid the price.
If Vision thought himself capable of it, he might wonder if he had subconsciously wanted to aim for Colonel Rhodes, as he had been the one to harm Wanda. But no, this has all been one very horrible mistake.
His mistake.
He had become... distracted.
And it was his horror at what had occurred to Colonel Rhodes that distracted him from Wanda long enough for her to be taken into custody with the other members of her team. Mr. Stark had ensured that capable response teams would be nearby to clean up the mess once the fighting was over, and they were very efficient. By the time he realized what was happening, she was gone. That was the last he had seen of her, of any of them.
He had been alone since.
No one seemed to consider that he was not, in fact, a robot. He thought his team members, at least, had moved beyond that, but apparently not, because Mr. Stark and Colonel Rhodes made no effort to interact with him. They spoke to him when he initiated the conversation, but did not seem to include him in their day to day lives. He could detect no hostility or resentment in their words or actions, but they did not seem to think of him as they would any other of their teammates.
It was disheartening, to say the least.
Looking back, he knew it was Wanda who had always treated him like a true man. She spoke to him as if he were a real person. She never forgot. Never left him out. And now she was gone.
But maybe that was for the best.
Logically, his feelings for her were detrimental. He did not think clearly where she was involved. He could see that now. His concern for her had overwhelmed him. It should not continue. It would be best if he could put his feelings for her behind him.
If he were a robot, following programming, that is precisely what he would do.
But he was not a robot. He was not a purely logical being, and his desires would not be put off so easily.
He could not let her go. He didn't want to.
He missed her. The compound felt empty without her in it. His heart felt hollow without her there. He needed her so much. He had no idea he could need anyone this badly until now.
He was so terribly lonely without her.
His thoughts also dwelled on Wanda's own situation. He deeply regretted not being able to see her before she had been taken away from the airport, and he had no way to contact her now. Even Mr. Stark had been having difficulty gaining access to the Raft facilities. Vision knew he stood no chance at all.
He wondered how she was faring. If she was alone. If she was safe. If she cried. Did she miss him as well? Their apologies at the airport had been so brief. Did she regret their parting as deeply as he did?
Were they treating her with any kind of compassion, or simply as the dangerous weapon the world seemed to think she was?
He had his doubts.
He wondered if the reason his own status had not been a point of contention during this situation was that everyone here saw him as a machine. Just another of Tony Stark's amazing creations. That thought brought him even more unhappiness.
There was so much to think about. So much on his mind.
He sat, and twirled a chess piece absently in his fingers, and pondered.