Authors Note: Now, I don't own anything, I'm just a huge SVU fan, and an even bigger Olivia and Casey fan. I wanted to just give fiction a shot, so he's my first. Enjoy and please review! :)

Olivia sat on her couch in some really old sweatpants and a sweatshirt that said "New York" across the front. It had been three weeks since Anthony Zimmerman, a known rapist, child molester and murderer had been killed, and Liv had been in a pretty depressed funk since it happened. Zimmerman was from an extremely wealthy upper west side family that could afford his bail, and even with the mountains of evidence against him, the state just couldn't keep him locked up. Olivia and Casey both begged and pleaded with the DA's office, as well as Judge Trillin to keep him in a cage, but he said that his hands were tied and allowed his bail to be posted. Olivia knew he would rape again, and sure enough, she was right. She got a call from a neighbor in one of the apartments he rented, and the neighbor said she noticed some suspicious activity. Having those keen "Olivia Benson" instincts, she raced over, and found Zimmerman, with a gun to a 15 year old girl's head. As She talked him down, and told him that things were over for him, and that it was only a matter of time before he would be locked away in a hole forever, she further realized her hatred for this man. She secretly wanted him dead for everything he had done to so many victims, and she wanted to just shoot him in cold blood right then and there. Word spread over the situation, and lots of backup, uniformed officers, swat, snipers and helicopters arrived, but that didn't deter this sick psychopath as he kept threatening to kill the young girl. Olivia ordered everyone to hold off, but after three hours of negotiation, word came from the highest rank, and a sniper took Zimmerman down. As he was falling to his death, he uttered two feeble, final words, which were "last laugh". Olivia knew just what he meant, and she dove for the girl a second late as his finger grazed the trigger of his gun, shooting her in the process. She fell to the floor, and Olivia held her in her arms, feeling the life drain from her body. The paramedics burst onto the scene and found her, and were able to nurse her back to life, but she was traumatized and injured, and spend two weeks in a coma. She still wasn't herself, as she had nerve damage in her leg, where she was shot. Olivia hated that this happened to her, and really hadn't been herself as a result of it. Cragen told her to take some time, which she actually did, but still, no one could crack that insanely hard "Olivia Benson" shell.

Tonight, there was a banquet that honored SVU and other police units for helping bring Zimmerman down. Liv hated things like this under normal circumstances, but this one she really had no interest in attending. She felt responsible for what happened to Kelly, the promising 15 year old with the bright future that was shot by Zimmerman. Everyone was telling her to go and calling her a hero for what she had done, but she felt the complete opposite. She thought she could have saved Kelly as well as so many of Zimmerman's other victims. She wasn't accomplishing much by sulking around and wallowing, but at the same time, she didn't really want to be bothered with anything else either. As she stood up to make some coffee, she heard a very familiar knock on the door. Before Olivia even answered it, she knew it was Casey Novak on the other side.

Olivia and Casey had always been close, ever since Casey's first year at SVU. Olivia initially resented Casey as she wasn't ready to transition from Alex Cabot, but they eventually grew to become best friends. Olivia had secretly pined after Casey, but never told her because, well, she thought Casey was straight and didn't want to have her heart broken. She agonized over this decision, but she ultimately decided that not knowing would have to suffice for her. Though this was somewhat torturous, but it seemed like the best option.

As Olivia opened the door and let Casey in, Casey was troubled with what she saw. Olivia had never been the cleanest person, but she had really let things go. There were clothes and pizza and chinese boxes everywhere, open potato chip bags, just general filth emanating from the house. It took every ounce of Casey's energy not to roll up her sleeves and clean everything up herself, but she realized things with Olivia would have to take baby steps.

"Olivia, please you can't live like this," the redhead said.

"Well, hello to you counselor."

"I'm Sorry Liv, I don't mean to be mean, but this place is disgusting, and you are better than this. I need the old Olivia back, the tough-as-nails bitch who doesn't take shit from anyone. I hate seeing you so down."

Olivia knew Casey was right as she stewed in her own stench and filth. She wanted to get back to her normal routine, but it was really, really hard for her. She had seen plenty of disturbing cases and images, but for some reason, she felt directly responsible for Kelly. The whole thing was just very hard to swallow. Casey rearranged some of the mess and clothes and sat next to Olivia. She wanted to help in any way that she could, but she realized it was going to be Olivia that had to ultimately make the decision. This really wasn't the Olivia that she knew. It wasn't the Olivia that anyone knew. No one had ever seen her this vulnerable and weak. She noticed the uniform that Olivia was supposed to wear to this banquet, and grabbed it.

"Olivia, please. I feel awful too. I feel like I could have done more to keep Zimmerman locked up, but it's just one of the fundamental injustices with our society. Money talks, unfortunately. I think about Kelly and all the other victims out there so much."

As Casey continued to rearrange things, Olivia was less than impressed. She couldn't think of anything she wanted to do less than go to this thing, but she knew she had to.

"It's really hard Casey," Olivia said softly. "I know we deal with freaks everyday, but Anthony has gotten to me. Kelly being in a coma, and not being able to walk right…all of that has just made me think. It's weighed so heavy on my soul and conscience."

This was a side of Olivia that Casey had not seen. She was opening herself up more, and exposing deeper parts of her soul. Casey loved connecting with Olivia on a more personal and emotional level, leaving work aside. However, with a subject matter this deep, it was near impossible to leave work on the side.

"Put this on," Casey said as she held up Olivia's uniform. "Gosh, Liv, we've gotta do something about this place. It's seriously disgusting in here. It's like living in squalor."

As Casey said "squalor" a wry smile donned Liv's face. Finally, she had gotten Olivia to relax a little.

"Why was that a smile from Olivia Benson? Wow….."

"Oh shut up Casey."

Casey rubbed Olivia's leg, and felt something, but disregarded it. She then got a little repulsed, as she leaned closer to Liv and got a waft of funk that was coming off of Liv's body.

"Olivia, I need to tell you something."

"What's that, Casey."

"Now, I love you, and care about you so much, but honestly, you smell. It's pretty gross."

Olivia smiled again. Casey was on a roll.

"Oh god, is that me? I smell it too. I thought that was the pizza toppings."

"No, sweetie, that's you. Now, get off that beautiful butt of yours, get in the shower, and give yourself a really nice, long, hot scrubbing. I'll be out here. Also, put your uniform on, and let's go to this thing."

Olivia looked over at the uniform and was less than thrilled about having to wear it. She never really wore a uniform anymore, except for these type of things. She wasn't a clothes whore like Casey was, but she still liked to look nice, and this uniform wasn't very flattering.

"Casey, I really don't want to wear that. It makes me look like a man."

"Oh shut up, no it doesn't. Now, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. Now, get in the shower, and please put this on."

Olivia wondered what "the hard way" was, and secretly wanted to be more resistant so she could see just what Casey had in mind. But, she grabbed the uniform and then headed into the shower to clean up. Casey was right. As disgusting as it was, she did smell. As she was washing and scrubbing herself, she didn't remember when the last time she showered was. She felt a little better after she dried off, and then put the uniform on. She then walked out to meet Casey.

"Wow, someone's a sexy policewoman…."

Those words made Olivia's heart race. She loved everything Casey wore, so she wondered if Casey had the same thoughts that she did. She smiled and the two made their way to the elevator and then got into a cab.

"Casey, I really don't feel right doing this, you know, people thinking I'm a hero and everything. For one, I was just doing my job. And secondly, I really don't deserve this. Because of me, Kelly is hurt, and I put her family through so much pain. I just don't deserve all this attention."

As the cab slowed down at a red light, Casey thought. She wondered what she could say to make Olivia feel better, as she was continuing to carry this heavy burden everywhere she went. The driver then accelerated through a green light as Casey tried to figure out her thoughts.

"Well Olivia, I know what you mean, but to the general public, you are a hero. You're a symbol. You're an embodiment of the thin blue line, and that there are police officers out there who put their lives on the line to protect us. You're willing to do whatever it takes to make sure the streets are clean. That's what people see when they see you. That and nothing else."

As the taxi pulled up to the banquet hall, Casey paid the driver and the two of them headed inside. Olivia stopped Casey right before the two entered.

"Did you really mean all that you said about me Casey?"

"Olivia, of course! I meant all of it, and I knew all of it long before that bastard Zimmerman or Kelly. You are one of the best people I know, and the best cop I know. Now, let's try to have a good time."