Alfred was sick of Arthur selling him above average grade tea with a fair tax.
Alfred went emo because he was ignored in parliament, since parliament was like the cool kids that ignore the emos. It was a tradition that would never change, no matter how many emo poems he sent.
Arthur's king went "lol no u sux you better stop it or i paunch you".
Alfred cut his wrists and used the blood to write to France and Spain for help.
War.
Winrar.
the end.