Disclaimer -

Lindsay: I so wish I owned Lord of the Rings.

Drake: But you don't.

"Lawks! Merry! Stop doing that!" cried the tweenaged Frodo Baggins, struggling with the toddler in his arms and the energetic ten-year-old bouncing off the walls of Bag End. The ten-year-old in question, Merry Brandybuck, paused very briefly and grinned at his cousin.

"You'll have to catch me first!" he proclaimed, and then darted into another room. Frodo sighed and shook his head.

"I can only hope you don't take after that little terror, Pippin," he said to the two-year-old Peregrin Took. "Heaven knows we only need one... I wish Bilbo were here to help me with him."

Pippin gurgled happily in response. Frodo smiled. The smile turned into a wince as a crash rang from the kitchen.

"It wasn't my fault!" called Merry's voice from the kitchen. "The beastly plant jumped at me!"

"Of course it did," replied Frodo wearily. "Of course." Shifting Pippin's weight to one hip, Frodo headed for the kitchen to check the damage. "Pippin, next time Uncle Saradoc needs someone to watch Merry, I'm going to hide until one of your sisters agrees to it." He came into the kitchen and took in the smashed pot, maimed roots and large quantity of dirt. "Oh... my... goodness..."

Meanwhile, Merry had slipped away from the kitchen (though it was possible it had just turned into a nature exhibit) in order to escape an angry elder cousin.

"Okay, if I know Frodo," said Merry to himself, "he'll look everywhere but outside. He hates snow!" Merry grabbed his cloak from the coat rack and ran outside of Bag End. "I should be safe here..."

"ESTELLA, YOU INSOLENT HOBBIT, GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Merry peered through the flurrying snow to see a very small hobbit girl running away from a taller hobbit girl. To his dismay, it was Estella Bolger, being chased by her elder sister, Lila. Estella was three years younger than Merry, and the two were deadly enemies.

Not wanting to meet his arch nemesis and her older sister, Merry glanced around for a bush to hide behind. As if he didn't have enough problems, the door to Bag End opened and one angry Frodo stormed out.

"Meriadoc Brandybuck, get your rear into this hobbit-hole!" he called angrily, looking around. As soon as Frodo's back was turned, Merry took off across the road and ducked behind a tree.

"I'm dead," he muttered, uneasily glancing to his left. Merry thought for a moment. If he slipped back into the house before Frodo came back from looking for him, and made it back to his guest bed room, he coud pretend to be asleep. Maybe he could convince Frodo it had been a dream if he remained "asleep" until morning? It would mean a middle-of-the-night kitchen cleanup for Merry, but if he could escape punishment... it would probably be well worth the effort.

Merry ran around the tree and crashed into another hobbit.

"OUCH!" both of them cried as they fell to the ground. Merry shook his head and looked at the hobbit he had collided with.

"Oh great, it's Estella," he muttered. Estella stood up, dusting off her cloak.

"Of all the rotten luck, I had to hit into Meriadoc."

"Don't call me that! I'm Merry."

"Why're you running away from Frodo, Meriadoc?"

"Well why are you running away from Lila, Estella?"

"I asked you first!"

"Well I asked you second!"

The two children glared daggers at one another before Merry spoke. "Fine, if you must know, I knocked over a plant and now the kitchen looks like a forest."

"Is that all?" asked Estella, amazed. "Hah! That's nothing. I made Carl fall off the kitchen table. My baby brother, you know."

Merry gaped. "How did you manage that? I've never got Pippin off the table when he's on, accidentally or purposely."

Estella sniffed disdainfully. "I assure you that it was an accident. And I was playing with Apple, my dog, and I hit the leg of the table and Carl fell off. It was Lila's fault, actually, for putting him so close to the edge."

"Is he okay?"

"He fell on Apple. He's fine."

"MERIADOC BRANDYBUCK, I AM GOING TO FEED YOU TO FARMER MAGGOT'S HOUNDS IF YOU DON'T GET OUT HERE!"

"ESTELLA BOLGER, I'LL PROBABLY DO THE SAME TO YOU!"

Merry and Estella glanced at each other.

"Listen, we're both dead if we don't do something," said Merry urgently.

"What are you suggesting?"

"It appears that Frodo and Lila have teamed up to find us."

"So you're saying," began Estella, "that we work together to avoid them?"

"Yes."

"Are we supposed to be friends now?"

"No! Ew, no!" cried Merry. "Just... allies, until we're both safe from Lila and Frodo."

Estella considered this. "Do you have a plan?"

Merry grinned. "I do. Listen up..."

"Those beastly children!" fumed Frodo. "Aunt Eglantine is going to have my head, I left Pippin inside."

"It was better than bringing him out here," said Lila. "He's only three, right? He's catch cold faster than we could catch Estella and Merry."

"Two," replied Frodo. "And I think we'll catch cold faster than we can catch them."

"Y-y-y-you s-s-s-sure this is going t-t-t-to work?" asked Estella, shivering. Merry looked up from where he was crouched on the ground, stuffing Estella's cloak with snow.

"Yup. If we fling this down the road, it'll look like one of us has lost our balance and they'll both go running after it," explained Merry. Estella sneezed. Rolling his eyes, Merry took off his own cloak. "Here, take mine. I've got a jacket on under it."

Estella accepted Merry's cloak and draped it around her shoulders. Merry finished stuffing Estella's with snow, tied the bottom closed to is formed a bundle and swung it down the road. To get Frodo's and Lila's attention, he screamed. Frodo and Lila looked in the direction of the scream and, as predicted, took off after the runaway cloak.

"Okay, run to your hobbit-hole and pretend to be asleep in your bed," advised Merry. "When morning comes and Lila goes to punish you, act like you don't know about any of this, so she'll think it was a dream."

"Okay," said Estella, watching with amusement as Frodo and Lila pursued the cloak down the road. "You're okay, Brandybuck."

"You're not so bad yourself, Bolger," replied Merry. Estella's face hardened.

"But come tomorrow, we're bitter enemies!"

"Why wait until tomorrow? Why not now? And I'll have my cloak back!"

Estella took it off, threw it at Merry and crossed her arms. "Until tomorrow, Meriadoc." She took off running in the direction of her hobbit-hole. Merry darted back to Bag End and shut the door behind him. Pippin clapped in delight at seeing Merry covered in snow.

"Well, you try teaming up with your worst enemy," challenged Merry. "Then snow is the least of your worries."

R&R!