ALL HE WANTED
Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders or the song All You Wanted by Michelle Branch.
A/N: I am personally in love with this one-shot. I think it's my best so far. Please read, review, and enjoy! Oh, and the song lyrics are italicized.
I wanted to be like you. I wanted everything. So I tried to be like you, and I got swept away.
Johnny Cade had always idolized Dallas Winston. Sure, it was known amongst the gang; hell, it was known by even Dallas. But nobody was sure about how powerful that idolization actually was. Johnny was not dumb; he was exactly the opposite, as a matter of fact, so he knew Dallas wasn't the best influence around. Dallas drank, smoked, cussed, fought, and hooked up with countless women, but there was some form of coolness that came with the bad attitude and the trouble. Johnny strived for that "cool" or the toughness. It could've really came in handy when he was jumped by those Socs a while back.
I didn't know that it was so cold and you needed someone to show you the way. So I took your hand and we figured out that when the tide comes I'd take you away.
Saturday nights were sometimes unbearable for Johnny. Dallas, Steve, and Two-Bit were always out partying at Buck's house or going to drag races. Soda tagged along sometimes, but the Curtis brothers on Saturday nights was the definition of boring. Darry mainly just hung around with Pony, unless he had a date, which happened about once a month. Darry wasn't much of a ladies' man once women found out he was raising his two younger brothers. Johnny felt sorry for Darry sometimes. And Ponyboy just read, wrote, or drew. He and Johnny went to the drive-in and the movie house a lot, but most of the movies were either total chick flicks or just plain boring and terrible.
This Saturday night certainly wasn't an exception. For one matter, it was freezing cold outside in the vacant lot. It was the middle of March, approaching spring, yet Tulsa still hadn't adjusted to warmer temperatures. Another thing to complain about was the occupied couch in the Curtis house, courtesy of a completely blitzed Tim Shepard. So Johnny laid on the grass, gazing up at the star-studded nighttime sky, when he heard a crunching noise, like someone stepping on a leaf. He sat up and scanned the area nervously, before dropping the idea that someone was lurking in the lot. A few moments later, the crunching noise started up again. Johnny sat up again and cleared his throat, just to inform this person of his presence.
"Johnny? Is that you?"
Johnny would recognize that voice anywhere, so he instantly relaxed, sinking back down to the ground. "Hey Dal, what's goin' on? Ya already scared me half to death, y'know."
Dally plopped down next to his pal on the ground and ran shaky fingers through his platinum blonde hair while smoking a cigarette. "Hey Johnny? Can I ask you somethin'?" Dallas was looking at his friend now, his sky blue eyes pleading for help.
Johnny noticed the sudden alarm in Dally's voice, so he sat up, yet again, and returned his buddy's stare. "Sure, Dallas. What is it?"
Dally broke the stare and his eyes hit the ground. He didn't really have a question to ask Johnny... he just needed some advice, well, more so comfort. Dallas needed comfort, security. "I need some help, Johnny. Just something that will help me understand this." Dallas felt tears bubbling in his eyes, but he held them back, not wanting to look like such a pussy in front of Johnny.
"Well, what'd ya need help with, Dal?" Johnny didn't notice Dally's eyes water with tears, considering it was pitch black outside, so he was unaware that Dally's answer would be so blunt, but deep.
"My life."
If you want to, I can save you. I can take you away from here. So lonely inside, so busy out there, and all you wanted was somebody who cares.
Johnny wasn't sure how to respond to that. What was the proper thing to say after somebody just told you they needed help with their life? That they needed to understand why their life was, well, the way it was? Johnny was no therapist, no psychologist and no social worker. Johnny Cade had enough problems that he didn't know how to deal with himself, so how in hell was he supposed to help Dallas with his?
I'm sinking slowly, so hurry hold me. Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on. Please can you tell me, so I can finally see, where you go when you're gone.
"Johnny, you there?" Dallas asked, lightly knocking on Johnny's forehead. Dallas laughed through the tears that now streamed freely down his cheeks and the ragged breathing escaping his mouth when he exhaled.
Johnny swung himself back into reality and gave Dallas a small but reassuring smile. "I'm here, Dallas. A little confused, but I'm here."
"Alright," Dallas replied. He was still awaiting Johnny's advice, his words of wisdom, or even just a simple "Hey buddy, it's fine. I've been there".
"Why you confused, Johnny?" Dallas finally questioned, breaking the heavy, awkward silence that contaminated the fresh nighttime air.
"On how you want me to help you," Johnny muttered. Wasn't it obvious? Did Dallas just expect Johnny to throw out helpful answers and advice? "I mean, what's wrong with your life that needs to be fixed? That you need to talk about?"
"My life-my life is just so played out. It's the same old boring thing day after day, ya dig? Gettin' drunk isn't even fun anymore-it's fuckin' routine." Dallas threw a rock down at the ground. "And those parties? Same thing every time I go. Same drunk broads, cancer sticks, and the fuckin' booze. The same fuckin' thing!" Dallas almost shouted the last sentence, scaring himself a bit, and punched the ground.
Johnny's heart was beating a mile a minute. Dallas really was screwed up over this. It was unbelievable that this was the same boy who radiated confidence, strutted with a dignified swagger, and could kick the living shit out of anyone-Soc and grease alike. That was the same boy who was sitting here now, crying, in front of a kid a year younger than him.
If you want to, I can save you. I can take you away from here. So lonely inside, so busy out there, and all you wanted was somebody who cares.
Johnny placed his hand on Dally's broad shoulder, which was covered with a heavy leather jacket, and looked up at the sky again. "Maybe you need a new routine, Dally," Johnny suggested. He glanced over at the older blonde greaser. "Y'know, get a job maybe? Or stop drinkin'?"
"You're funny if ya think I'm gonna quit on the beer, Johnnycake." Dallas laughed, but he didn't deny the get a job suggestion.
All you wanted was somebody who cares. If you need me, you know I'll be there.
Johnny chuckled too. "You can try to get a job in town, Dal. They always got room for help somewhere."
Dallas grinned. "Ya wanna know a little secret, Johnny?"
Johnny couldn't help but smile. Dallas Winston was telling him a secret! And maybe no one else knew it. "Sure, Dal."
Dallas's smile widened as he opened his mouth to speak. "I ain't never worked before. Not a day in my life." He blew a smoke ring with his cigarette.
"Not ever?" Johnny asked in awe, even though he was only a year younger than Dallas and had never worked either.
"Never."
If you want to, I can save you. I can take you away from here. So lonely inside, so busy out there, and all you wanted was somebody who cares.
After chatting in the park for a good hour or so, the two friends walked down the block to the Curtis house. Johnny really didn't say much to Dallas, but just showing that he cared changed Dally's view on the life he was living. It really was time for some change, because with change came new opportunities, and most importantly, happiness. And that was all Dallas Winston ever wanted.
If you want to, I can save you. I can take you away from here. So lonely inside, so busy out there, and all you wanted was somebody who cares. Please can you tell me, so I can finally see, where you go when you're gone.