Disclaimer: "NCIS" and its characters don't belong to me they belong to CBS and are being used without permission. Please don't sue because I have no money.
Author's Note: Spoiler for Season 9. If you don't like spoilers don't read
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After spending months tracking down his target, Tony is left with the blood of an NCIS agent on his hands and it's up to Gibbs (Mark Harmon, left) to help him put the pieces of the puzzle together, on the ninth season premiere of NCIS, Tuesday, Sept. 20 (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network. Also Pictured: Guest star Scott Wolf, right Photo: Cliff Lipson/CBS.
Another Death
I sit down at my desk and can't believe that I have another Agents blood on my hands. It's not the first time an NCIS Agent died. First it was Kate. Kate and Abby were like the sisters that he never had. They were like children trying to get attention from Daddy in the form of Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Gibbs, Kate and I were on the rooftop when Ari fired and Kate fell to the ground with a bullet in her head. It wasn't the first partner he lost. In all the police departments I had worked for I've lost a few partners in the field and it never gets any easier. Then there was Paula. Paula they had first met in Gitmo and then had met again in DC. I had almost lost Gibbs when he went by himself trying to get Maddie back. Then there was Jenny the Director of NCIS, which was his fault. Oh, Ziva and Gibbs had told him that it wasn't his fault, but he felt like it was. It was because he didn't want to follow her and for that she had died.
I look at my hands and could still see the blood on my hands even if I already washed them the best that I could. I was supposed to be responsible for his target not letting this person get killed. Was he a bad person because everyone kept on getting killed around him? Once his father had blamed him for his Mother's death because he said he was being bad. Why did the people that he cared about keep on getting killed?
I was lost in my thoughts that I didn't even see, or hear Gibbs walk up to me and squeeze his shoulder. One more death on his hands and he couldn't take it.
"It's not your fault, Tony."
"Why? Why does everyone I care about get killed? Am I a bad person? First it was Kate, then Paula and then Jenny."
"You are not a bad person, Tony. You are a good person and don't second-guess yourself. None of those deaths are your fault, Tony."
"You keep on saying that and Ziva told me that Jenny's death wasn't my fault, but sometimes I can't believe it. My father told me once that my Mother's death was my fault because I was bad. I was supposed to be watching him because he was my target and I was the one that got him killed."
"Tony, nobody blames you for this death."
"I bet Vance does and the new Sec Nav does. I don't know why they asked me they should have asked a more capable Agent to do it. One that wouldn't allow another Agent to get killed."
"Tony, you are a good Agent. The best Agent that I have ever worked for and I am proud of you."
"Thank you, Gibbs."
"Let's go. I'm cooking steak cowboy style and grab your overnight bag too."
"I love steak cowboy style."
"I know you do. Now let's go." Gibbs said as he went to his own desk and grabbed his bag watching as Tony too got up and grabbed his bag. It would take time, but he knew that Tony would be okay and he would help him.
The End