I do not own the A-Team. I think that's self-evident.
Spoilers: Only if you haven't seen Without Reservations or Curtain Call and they're very slight.
Murdock hated waiting.
But for two hours that's exactly what he had been doing. For two lousy hours he'd been sitting in an uncomfortable chair waiting to find out if Face would survive the disastrous night.
Waiting was nothing new to Murdock; he'd done plenty of it in Vietnam a lifetime ago and hated a lot of it. But tonight he hated it more than he ever had. Wait, wait, wait that was all he had done all night. Wait for the attorney general, wait for Hannibal and BA, wait for the right moment, wait, wait, wait!
And all that waiting nearly cost Face his life.
Might still cost Face his life.
One bitter, ironic thought kept ringing through his mind: If I had just waited just a little longer this might not have happened.
Murdock tormented himself with this thought. He kept seeing Face lying there gasping for air, Face bleeding, Face crying out in pain, Face silently begging him not to leave but knowing he had to, Face getting weaker and weaker until he could no longer even keep his eyes open, Face dying!
And this possibly could have been prevented if he had simply waited.
Murdock hated irony.
He felt responsible for what happened, but not because Face had been wounded. Injury in their line of work was a fact of life. He had learned long ago that a man cannot stop or change everything. A man learned to accept death in war. He felt responsible for not paying attention. He felt responsible for moving too fast. The couple by the window was leaving, not happily but they were leaving. Robbers or assassins it would have been safer for them to act if the couple had been gone and the only civilians would have been Sal and Gina.
What he was really angry about was that he forgot that third guy. He hadn't seen him come in, hadn't seen him sit down, hadn't seen him get up, and hadn't seen him shoot Face. Sal even pointed him out and he had forgotten.
He hadn't forgotten him after he saw the smoking gun.
If he hadn't been so careless Face wouldn't have gotten hurt. He'd entrusted Face with forming a plan and then he'd pushed it too fast. A couple of rookie mistakes had left Face fighting for his life and now he had no idea how his friend was doing.
Murdock hated waiting.
"Murdock."
"Yeah?" he automatically responded. Hannibal was in "Colonel" mode which made it impossible to ignore him. He had actually forgotten the rest of the team waiting with him.
"What happened?" Oh, he'd been dreading this! As calmly as he could he relayed the events of the evening up until Hannibal and BA's arrival.
When he finished Hannibal placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a paternal squeeze. "This wasn't your fault Murdock." Not for the first time Murdock wondered if Hannibal could read minds. "You made a few mistakes but you made the best of the situation."
"Would you still say that if Face had died?" Murdock asked quietly, pointedly looking Hannibal in the eye. He heard BA suck in a breath and Frankie suppress an unidentifiable sound but he ignored them. He was solely focused on Hannibal's response. He knew how to read people too.
Hannibal recoiled a bit at the question. Murdock was well aware of the fact that Hannibal never played favorites but in a way Face was his protégé. It was never easy for Hannibal to contemplate his men's mortality. For a few seconds Hannibal was silent as he considered his answer.
"Yes," he answered at last, "I would say the same thing if Face had died." The statement had been painful for him to say but it was sincere. Murdock nodded slightly.
"We all mess up man," BA added softly. "But as long as we do our best we got no reason to blame ourselves for what we can't control."
"He's right," Hannibal stated just as quietly. "Remember when you took that bullet for me?" Murdock nodded. "I made a stupid mistake that nearly killed you and almost got all of us arrested. But we all made it. It isn't easy but you gotta accept that you couldn't stop this and then learn from it." Murdock didn't know what to say so he remained silent.
"I'm sorry guys," Frankie suddenly burst out. He looked so uncomfortable that they all felt sorry for him. "I didn't do enough…"
"Ain't you been listenin'?" BA growled without any heat. "This stuff happens and all that matters is what you do in the end. You came through when we needed you and that's all that matters."
"I-uh-thanks," Frankie stammered. He looked as if a fifty pound weight had suddenly been lifted from him. Murdock was glad he felt better but he didn't feel the weight that pulled on him lessen. He knew it wouldn't until he knew if Face would be ok…
"Damn," Hannibal muttered as he got up. "I'd better let Stockwell know what' going on so he can clean up." He didn't look particularly happy about the idea but it needed doing. Murdock, BA, and Frankie descended back into silence. What more was there to say?
Hannibal returned shortly before the surgeon arrived to either shatter their world or save it. The poor surgeon had to backpedal to avoid being knocked over by the four anxious men. "How is he?" Hannibal croaked.
"It was touch and go for a while but your son made it through surgery Mr. Smith," the surgeon replied, a faint smile tugging at his lips. The tension drained from the four, BA actually had to hold Murdock up for a while. "The blood loss was significant and his kidney was lacerated but your boy is a fighter." Hannibal all but beamed with pride and relief. "I want you to know he's not out of the woods yet but I'm optimistic. You'll learn more from the doctor who will be assigned to him later. Right now I think you want to see him. Only family will be allowed to stay though," he added with a dubious glance at Frankie and BA.
"Thank you doctor," Hannibal whispered as he shook the man's hand. The rest followed suit, gratefully clasping the surgeon's hand and thanking him.
The four impatient men followed a nurse to the ICU where their friend was now resting. Murdock could feel his body beginning to crash but he ignored it. He'd waited too long to be near Face since this mess started, his exhaustion would have to wait. Once they reached the room Murdock all but bolted inside and went straight to Face's side. He critically examined his friend as he pulled up the lone chair in the room. He reached out trembling hands to wrap around Face's still hand and bring it to his bowed head.
Face was deeply asleep but at least now he seemed comfortable. That was good. He was still pale but the sickly gray tint had left his features. An oxygen mask eased breathing for his exhausted lungs while IVs fed blood, medicine, and fluids into his body. The hospital gown covered the bandages around his middle and most of the electrodes attached to his chest but the wires snaked out and into a monitor that faithfully beeped out a now steady heartbeat. Blankets covered him up to his waist and his arms rested freely by his sides. All in all Face looked much better than he did a few hours ago. Murdock sent up a silent prayer of thanks.
"Murdock?" Hannibal called softly. Murdock looked up to see Hannibal standing at his side and BA and Frankie opposite them. Three sets of anxious eyes asked him a question.
"I'm alright," he answered with a weary smile. "I'm alright now." Hannibal nodded and silence fell over them once more. Murdock held Face's hand between his and rested his chin on the small globe they made. It was amazingly soothing to simply watch Face sleep and heal. All of them silently and gratefully took in the fact their friend would be ok.
Eventually Hannibal decided it was time for them to leave before the staff threw them out. Murdock refused to move and under the ruse that he was Face's brother he was allowed to stay. "I'm not leaving him alone again," he stated firmly and Hannibal had relented. Once the rest of the team left he made himself more comfortable in his chair.
As he gazed at the sleeping Face he finally felt the weight that threatened to crush him evaporate. It would take a long time for Face and him to heal from this but now it actually seemed possible.
Murdock leaned forward to rest his head on the crook of one arm while hanging onto Face's with the other. He was in for another wait of indefinite time but he didn't mind.
He had all the time in the world.