LOVE. unrequited?

My 2009 Valentine's Day fic.

With this, I have finished digging my grave. I somehow feel like I am making a mistake with writing this, but I've come too far to go back.

I would just like to warn you that in this fic, all the characters are going to OOC. All of them. The reason for this is that this is a parallel fiction and very personal to me. I like to try and keep characters as in character as possible, but this is one of those times when I cannot.

Characters © Masashi Kishimoto da awesome creator of NARUTO!

The mobile phone was a heavy weight in his hands as he held it loosely as he sat on a lone chair in the room, the implications of his plans only now starting to become clear. With a shaking hand Naruto unlocked the phone and entered his phonebook, scrolling down to 'S'. He found the entry he was looking for. 'Sakura Haruno'. A finger hovered over the call button. He gulped and, closing his eyes, he punched down. Swiftly, he set the phone to his ear and heard the less than melodic tones of a ringing phone pound through his head. In his chest his heart beat much faster than normal. Three, four, five times it rung. And it kept on ringing. Sadness swept over the blonde. She probably wasn't home... Naruto was about to lower the phone and cancel the call when the ringing suddenly stopped.

"Hello?" said the voice on the other end of the line. Naruto blushed furiously. It was Sakura.

"Ah, Sakura!" Naruto could hear her laugh a little.

"Yes, that's me," she said cheerily.

"Um..." In his focus in calling her, Naruto's mind had gone blank. What was it he had called about again? "Oh, uhh, c-could you meet me somewhere?"

"Meet you?"

"Yeah. There's something I need to tell you..." Something really, really important... Naruto was fidgeting with a loose thread that poked out from under his jacket. He let go of it as he realized what he was doing.

"Oh, sure!" Sakura piped back. Naruto smiled in spite himself. Her energetic attitude was as contagious as ever. Standing, he made his way to the bright window of the room. It was clothed in plain, white curtains, stopping most of the harsh rays of the sun from entering the room and instead making a soft glow illuminate the room. "When and where?"

"Oh..." Again his mind went blank. He now realized that he hadn't actually thought he'd get this far and therefore hadn't thought of an actual place to meet. "Ohh, um, h-how about... uhh.... where would you like to go?"

Naruto heard Sakura laugh again. "Hmm... rather strange that the person initiating the meet didn't decide on the place..." Naruto opened his mouth to attempt to say out a reason for this, though his mind was still blank. He was so terrified. But Sakura didn't know this and continued. "Ohh! It's close to 12, so how about we have lunch somewhere?"

"Sure." He was rather hungry. "Anywhere you want to go?" Naruto's speech was coming more easily now, flowing out as it normally did when he talked to the pink head.

"Mmm... oh, yeah. How about Mos Burger? You were raving about that place, not too long ago, right?"

"Haha, yeah. It really is very good!" Naruto replied. He could almost hear Sakura smirk at this. She knows me too well. The blonde toyed with the blinds, now leaning against the white walls of his apartment. He'd moved in not too long ago and hadn't had the time to furnish it. It now contained only a mattress with a blanket and pillow, a few boxes and a chair.

"Fine. Let's go there then. I'll meet you... near the bus stops near it?"

"Ah sure," Naruto replied automatically. Anywhere would have been fine. He just had to see her.

"Alright then, I'll see you later! Bye!"

"Right, bye!"

Naruto waited for the line to cut out then lowered the phone from his ear. He'd done it. Well, a bit of it. He still had to meet her and tell her that. If he could. A beep from his phone announced to him that he hadn't hung out and he hastened to hang up. The money going to waste!!

–

A few months earlier...

Blonde spikes walked across the bottom of the window, the boy beneath them barely visible. Naruto reached the open door and poked his head in. The classroom was deserted but for the man at the teacher's desk, flipping through papers held together in a clipboard. Naruto clicked his tongue and the man looked up. He smirked.

"Hey, Naruto," Kakashi called as the blonde walked into the room, slouching with his bag nearly off his shoulder.

"Yo. You gonna be taking my detention for Mr. Teacher?"

The gray haired senior laughed and lay the clipboard down onto the teacher's desk.

"That does seem to be the case," he said as he sat down next to wear he'd put down the papers. Naruto pouted and made his way to the front most desk that stood almost in the middle of the row and took a seat at it, dropping his bag next to his chair. The blonde slouch down in the seat and buried his head in his arms. He was drained.

"What's eating you?"

Naruto looked up slightly from his arms at Kakashi.

"Nothing," he replied before turning back down to the darkness in his wrapped arms, trying to sleep the sadness away.

"Hmmmm I see...." Naruto heard a shuffling noise and he didn't need to look up to know that the older student had taken out one of many perverted books from his own school bag. A page flipped and Naruto could hear the other person in the room chuckle at some joke. Some hentai joke. Many minutes passed like this, Kakashi flipping the pages of the book, chuckling here and there, Naruto lying on his table, just from tears.

There was a sudden slam and Naruto looked up. Kakashi stood right before him, his arms crossed across his chest, his book still in hand. It was slightly open and Naruto caught a picture of a scanty clothed woman sitting so that- Naruto looked quickly away from the book and instead chose to look at the man in front of him.

"I've been reading all about love sickness and I can practically smell it rolling off of you," Kakashi said with a serious tone.

"Huh?" Naruto managed to say before Kakashi slammed his hand down on his table, making the blonde jump up from the table. Naruto looked from the hand to Kakashi to the book and back to the hand again. What?

"You're moping over a girl, mate," Kakashi said, shaking his head. "Don't even try to say it isn't true. I can tell." Naruto closed his open mouth and instead went very, very red. Kakashi smirked. "Heh, I am so right."

"It's none of your business," Naruto shot back, look away as he held the back of his cold hands to his face in an effort to return them to their normal peach colour. So far it wasn't working too well.

"I'm your friend, aren't I?" Kakashi asked, though Naruto was sure he already knew the answer. Yes. He was his friend. He'd known Kakashi for nearly five years, but had only recently become close friends with him. His friendship with the senior he'd never regretted. Much like his friendship with Sasuke. Who wasn't there are the moment. Naruto sighed and went back to using his arms as a pillow. His best friend had had a freeblock as the last class of the day and had gone home early to work on some Chemistry lab. What they got up to in that class, Naruto did not want to know. From a distance he could see that it was very, very hard.

"So who is it?" At this question from the gray head Naruto blushed even more. Closing his eyes he shook his head, trying to clear it from the hot mist that had suddenly filled it.

"It's-" Naruto started to say, but bit his tongue. Saying it would mean that would no longer be a secret. His crush would be known! But Naruto was too distressed to care and continued. "It's Sakura."

–

The months passed by, and soon Valentine's Day was right around the corner. And Kakashi had finally convinced Naruto, with much persuasion and scolding, to tell Sakura.

That is how this scenario came to take place.

–

Having nearly saved himself from a rather larger phone bill, Naruto skipped to the bathroom, his phone still clasped in his left hand. He needed to feel something solid in his hand right at that moment. Naruto checked his reflection in the mirror and concluded that he didn't look any worse than he normally did on a weekend. Nor did he look any better. Damn.

He wore a khaki green t-shirt with a black, leather jacket over it, zipped up to his sternum, a necklace visible where it stopped. It had been given to him by his best friend Sasuke. On the lower part of his body he had on black jeans that appeared to have been abused before he'd bought them so that it had a worn look to them.

Naruto breathed deeply and slipped his phone into his jean pocket where he could feel it if it rang. He nearly always left it on vibrate, a near fool-proof way to alert him to incoming calls when even loud, obnoxious ringtones failed. He tweaked one particularly high spike down, only to have it spring back and stand up even higher. The blonde grimaced at his unruly hair and decided that he'd rather just leave the battleground right there and then. With large steps, he exited the bathroom and went back to the seat where he'd flung his bag earlier after packing it. Picking it up and slinging it onto his shoulder, Naruto was surprised to find how heavy it was. By themselves a DS, iPod video, sketchbook, pencil and eraser didn't seem that heavy, but they were doing something horrid to the weight of his bag.

Adjusting where the strap cut into his shoulder, Naruto crossed the room to the door and dropped down to slip his red shoes on. His bag slid down his shoulder as he did, forcing him to set it on the ground while he fiddled with his laces. He'd stupidly decided to tie them the conventional way the day before instead of their normal loose way where he could just slip them on, no questions asked. After finally managing to pull his shoes on without too much pain, Naruto stood up, taking up his bag as he did, slung it back onto his shoulder, and started to unlock the door.

His fingers unlatched the most bottom lock and he opened the door. Leaning forward a little, he proceeded to unlock the outer metal gate. Having gotten them both open, Naruto stepped over the threshold. He set his foot on the ground on the other side and he looked back, back into his near empty room. Was he doing the right thing? If he was quick enough, he could call Sakura again and cancel the outing. A shiver that was unrelated to temperature ran its cold way down his back. No, he had to do this. It was truly a now or never thing. Naruto gritted his teeth and stepped fully out the door and locked them behind him.

–

Years ago in grade 7...

The class was abuzz with activity. Kids were laughing, crying and making a general ruckus as the teacher handed out the scores for the test. It had been a test that seemed to calculate your reading level as a grade level. For example, though a person might be in grade 9, they might have the reading level of a person in grade 5. This is bad and would be recorded as a reading level of '5' on the papers that nearly everyone in the class was poring over.

In the corner sat a small, blonde boy. He was new to the school and hadn't made that many friends as of yet. The teacher sidled over to him and offered one of papers. Naruto took it and glanced over it. At the top of the paper was his name and grade, along with his class and teacher. Beneath that was a small scale indicating where the class average was, the normal average was, and where his level was. Apparently he had the reading level of a 13.0. But that didn't make sense. There was no grade 13, only 12. Naruto was trying to make this out when a girl came up to him. He wasn't sure of her name, but from what he knew, she had been at the school for at least a year.

"What did you get?" she asked. She had pink hair and a cocky attitude. Naruto instantly disliked her.

"Thirteen," Naruto replied. This surprised the girl.

"Thirteen?" she asked for confirmation. Naruto gave it. She smirked. "Looks like I have competition." The girl flounced off and Naruto was left with a great sense of confusion.

That was how he met Sakura Haruno. For years, the two would compare scores on tests, quizzes and assignments, rivals in English and fellow 'failers' in Maths.

–

Naruto nearly tripped in his haste to alight from the bus, bumping into an old lady and getting hell for it as he went. It was near midday and the sun was high in the sky. Not that you could see much of it. All the high-rise buildings and skyscrapers made sure of that. Around him small schools of people darted two and fro in the crowd of moving bodies, Naruto one of them. He came to stop at an alcove on the side of the busy street, just managing to get out of the way of a man pushing a trolley with large, cardboard boxes. Naruto looked around a bit, deliberating, then checked his watch. He still had time. In a brisk stroll he set out to where he thought the bus stop probably was. It would have been wiser to ask where it was, but he hadn't thought of that. He hadn't thought of much really.

A tall man with multiple piercings bumped into Naruto, making the slighter boy stagger. It also broke his train of thought and made him focus on the present. He was coming up to the end of the block and soon he would have to choose to either cross the road or turn the corner and continue down that way. He came to the road and crossed it, nearly getting knocked over by a taxi. The red vehicle whizzed past him and he thought he heard the driver yell at him. Naruto shrugged his shoulders. It wasn't his problem. No, he had much larger problems to deal with.

The crowd had lessened now and Naruto could actually see his feet. Not that it helped much. A beep resounded softly and a buzz at his leg alerted him. Slipping a hand into his pocket he drew out his phone. He unlocked it and saw that he'd received a message from Sakura. It was probably nothing important, but apprehension gripped him as he pressed 'read'. The message was brought up and he read it.

'Ur late. Where r u?'

Naruto's stomach uncurled itself and he continued to walk while he replied, saying that he would be there very soon. He looked up for a second and saw that he was actually very, very close. He would be able to see the bus stop anytime soon. He added this to the message and, satisfied, sent it off. Sticking his phone back into his pocket, Naruto started off at a near jog, nearly knocking into a few people. Thankfully he was able to worm his way around them and was soon able to see his destination. Among the people lined up there was one girl with short pink hair that stuck out even more in the light breeze from the traffic. Naruto smiled despite himself and jogged faster.

"Ohayou."

The girl turned and grinned at him. She was wearing a stripped blouse and a black, sleeveless dress over it with black tights. There wasn't much colour to it, but her pink hair more than made up for it. All in all, she looked beautiful.

"Ohayou," she replied. "Although it isn't really morning anymore."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Well, alright," he said, giving in. "Why don't we just go eat." He didn't have the heart at the moment to argue anything, and instead he started to lead the way. Sakura stuck her tongue out at him but followed him through the crowd. All through this, Naruto had a compulsion to hold her hand. But he knew he couldn't. He just could not.

The crowd thinned as they left the area near the bus stop and they were actually able to breathe without sucking someone's breath straight out of their mouth. There were people of all ethnicities although there were predominately Asian or Chinese, Naruto's hair really making him stand out. There was a light touch at his back, making him turn. It was Sakura.

"What was it you wanted to tell me?" she asked.

Naruto blushed. "After lunch," he replied gruffly, his stomach churning again. How was he going to tell her?

–

Not too many years back, in grade 10...

The term had just started, a start of a new thing. But Naruto wished for the past. His best friend, Sasuke, hadn't turned up. And as some of his classmates had told him, the raven head would not be returning. Naruto was in shock for a few days after that. Then the tears came and he wanted to end everything. There were only a few things that kept Naruto from doing exactly that. One was his mother, but another was a certain, smiling girl at school.

"How do you do that?" Naruto asked, in rapture. He had been watching Sakura twirl her pen for the last five minutes, still unable to figure out how it was done.

"Huh? Do what?" the girl asked. They were sitting next to each other for the first period of the day and had been talking for 90 percent of it. The teacher hadn't noticed. Somehow.

"That," Naruto replied, pointing to the pen. Sakura stopped spinning it and looked at it.

"Oh," she said. "You can't do it?"

Naruto stuck his tongue out at her. "No duh." Sakura smirked and held the pen out, explaining how to do it. It had something to do with keeping the pen going like a pendulum. It took some time, but eventually Naruto was able to sort of do it. The bell rung, startling him a little. The class was over.

Sakura and a few others kept Naruto at school, kept him on a thin sense of happiness, but he still nearly left. And he would have, if Sasuke hadn't come back. When his best friend did, Naruto was filled with so much happiness. It was like the sun had started shining again. Their friendship grew stronger and Sakura became one of their even closer friends. Always together; Never apart.

Even now Naruto twirls whatever he is holding.

–

There wasn't so much of a line at the counter in the store. It was more that the menu's in Mos Burger were so complicated, it took over ten minutes for Naruto and Sakura to choose what they wanted. After that, it took another ten minutes for the food to come. Sakura ended up getting a Teriyaki Burger and a Sprite; Naruto a Mos Cheese Burger and Ginger Ale. He needed something to calm him down.

They chose a table toward the back of the store, just around one of the columns that supported the roof. The store itself was cleanly decorated like most other fast food stores, with just the right amount of green and red to make it look sleek without looking Christmassy. Along the wall up above the seats that ran along it, were various boards with advertisements and general messages from Mos Burger to the general public. Most of it was complete rubbish.

Sakura sat down first, pulling the chair back and sitting down, placing her purse on her lap. Naruto did much the same into the chair opposite. A few semi-awkward moments of silence passed, both unable to think of anything to say.

"So," Naruto started to say, "what were you doing when I called you?" A waiter had just come around and served their drinks.

Sakura gulped down some of her drink before replying. "Uhh not much, really..."

"Oh? That sounds mightily interesting."

"Aw shut up," Sakura chided playfully. This small banter kept up for a few more minutes and soon their food came. Naruto's burger came first, joined soon after by Sakura's and they were again enveloped in silence, this one being much nicer and more tasty.

"So what were you doing before you called me?" Sakura asked as she swallowed her third mouthful; Naruto looked up from his ginger ale. He'd finished his Mos Cheese quite some time ago.

"Me? Well," Naruto said. He couldn't exactly say he had been staring at his phone for nearly half an hour before calling. That would just be weird. And highly suggestive... He toyed with the plastic straw in his mouth, thinking of how he could answer this. His eyes roamed around the room, finally settling on a the back of a lady in a red frock. An idea popped into his head. "I was...uhh... cleaning my flat."

"Your flat?" Sakura asked. "Oh right. You moved last Monday." She took another bite and chewed. "Wait. You're still cleaning? How slow are you? You've had at least... five days," she said, counting on her fingers.

Naruto chuckled. "I'm not really that slow. I just mess the place up a bit faster than most people, so I end up cleaning a lot more."

"Ah, I see, I see..." Sakura was now also looking at the lady, being the only mildly interesting thing in the room, twirling a lock of her pink hair around a finger.

–

Not too long ago, at most a few months...

The door was closed, not locked but providing a makeshift sound barrier against the shouting outside. On his bed Naruto sat, curled up with his arms hugging his legs to his chest. He was shaking. On the table next to where he sat, was his mobile phone. It was on vibrate. Naruto gazed at it, flinching slightly as his mother threw a particularly loud brooch of words at his father. Suddenly, the phone buzzed, moving across the table. In one swoop, Naruto plucked it up off the table and answered it.

"Hello?" he asked in a lowered whisper, his voice devoid of all emotion.

"Wassup?" asked the person on the other end of the line. It was Sakura. Despite himself, Naruto smirked at how normal it all sounded. They often called each other, talking for hours.

"Not much," Naruto replied, returning to his curled state with the phone clutched to his ear. A bang of a door outside resonated through the house, making him automatically try to cover the mouth piece so that the sound would not be transmitted. But he was too late.

"What was that?" Sakura asked. Naruto considered how he could answer this. He had never told anyone the status of his parent's marriage, and nor did he feel like breaking that unsaid promise to himself. He bit his lip. He could think of nothing to explain the bang.

"My parents...do not have a happy marriage," he said finally, taking the plunge. There was a bit of silence.

"Why not?"

"They...don't seem to … trust each other. Not enough to not get into fights." And enough to break-up was the unsaid message. Naruto hugged his knees even closer as the fight seemed to drift down the hall, past his room and into his parent's bedroom.

"Ah... well, they're still married right?"

"Yeah..."

"So that means that they haven't given up hope yet," Sakura said. She had a point. "And nor should you."

"...There is no hope," Naruto retorted plainly. "I gave it up a long time ago." It was true. He had given it up. But still Sakura pressed on, encouraging hope to blossom again. She used examples and logic to illustrate her points, running it through like a debater. And though it took time, hope eventually did start to blossom.

"I guess we'll just have to wait it out, if you know what I mean," she said. Naruto could hear some shifting and supposed that she had gotten up from her chair and moved to her bed as there had been a sort of muted thump.

"Yeah, I get what you're saying," Naruto said. He was getting stiff from sitting so unnaturally, so he lay back on his bed, stretching his legs out. "Thanks for talking to me."

"No problem," came the reply. That was the first time Naruto had opened up to someone that much.

–

"Wow. No wonder you take so long to eat dinner."

Sakura scowled and threw a napkin at the blonde. "Shut up," she ordered as she chewed on the last bit of her burger. Naruto had been done for nearly twelve minutes, but his nerves were still running rampart. The time was coming closer. There was a tinkling and Naruto turned to see that yet another person had entered the store. Mos Burger had turned out to be quite the food magnet.

"Okay, I'm done." Naruto turned back to Sakura, grinning.

"Finally," he said, receiving another napkin catapult. He pushed back the chair with the back of his legs as he stood, stepped around it while taking up his bag, and pushed the chair back under the table again. Sakura wiped her mouth with a napkin stolen from Naruto, having thrown all of her own, and also stood. They'd already paid for their meal so they just exited from the store.

"You get everything?" Naruto asked as he held the door open to let the pink head squeeze through as another customer entered the store. She nodded in reply.

"Yup." Sakura walked toward the edge of the pavement, stopping as a car breezed past. Naruto joined her and they crossed the road together.

"Where are we going?" They had reached the crowed sidewalk on the other side of the road and Sakura turned back to Naruto.

"Wow. Aren't you the one who called me out?" she asked, laughing a little. Naruto pouted.

"Where do you want to go?" he asked, trying to save at least a little of his dignity. Sakura moved to let a lady with two children in tow squeeze past her in the crowd. She looked around at the buildings, seeming to think of what was in each and whether it was worth doing. Naruto inwardly kicked himself. What was he doing? If anything, he should just get this over with as fast as possible, but...he wasn't. Naruto sighed.

I'm so selfish. I guess I just want to enjoy Sakura not knowing for just a little while longer...

"How about going to the arcade?"

Naruto woke from his thoughts and looked to where Sakura was pointing. It was the largest building near them, a giant mall with equally large letters telling passersby as much. Apparently a new arcade had been built up in it in the past month. Naruto had been busy with many things so he hadn't been able to go check it out.

"Sure," Naruto replied. Sakura grinned and skipped off into the crowd, Naruto trying to follow. The day was getting hotter, making the air-conditioning in the mall extremely welcome. As soon as they entered, Sakura shot off to the nearby escalators. It seemed as though she'd been there before. Naruto smirked. That would be very like her. She was a Taiko No Tatsujin addict. Naruto lost sight of the girl for a few minutes as she darted into the crowd. He was suddenly filled with fear, but not long after he found her, looking around to where he had disappeared off to. She looked his way and smiled. He waved.

"You're so slow," she chided when he reached her. Naruto waved a hand.

"You're just too fast," he retorted. And together they walked into the colorfully decorated arcade. The walls were lined with consoles and other gaming machines, much noise coming out of them. Around them people were gathered, either playing or watching those playing. Overall, the room was a hive of action and excitement. And there to the side were the drum machines. Adorned with the red and blue drums, the console was only slightly populated, the current group now moving away. Naruto glanced at Sakura. She was eyeing the drums.

"C'mon," he said and walked toward them, picking the two sticks out of the bag. He inserted a few bits of change and Sakura did the same, also taking her sticks. Naruto let Sakura choose the song and level. To his disappointment, the pink head chose Ridge Racer on Oni level. Naruto grimaced, but played along, failing miserably, but still having fun. He didn't even bother to look at the score after the song had finished, but apparently Sakura had done quite well.

A bright colour distracted Naruto while they played the second and last song and he turned to see what it was, causing himself to loose his 98 beat combo. But what he saw brought him back to earth. There was nothing out of the ordinary about seeing a couple walking around together, in fact, it was highly normal. But something about the two young people made Naruto's stomach drop. He gulped and turned back to the game. He had deliberated too long. He had better do what he had come to do!

The song ended, marking as far as their money would go, and they sidled back from the machine as the couple Naruto had seen before took their place. Naruto glanced at Sakura. She was looking around, not really looking for anything, but still looking. Naruto bit his lip.

"Hey, Sakura," he said quietly, just so the girl could hear. "Could we go outside for a bit? I want to tell you something." Sakura looked surprised but complied, following the blonde out of the crowded arcade and into the cooler air-conditioned air outside. There were some roof supporting pillars to one side and Naruto walked to these. He needed something to steady him, even if it was only material. He turned and faced Sakura whos face was confused. And beautiful, Naruto thought, he shook his head to order his thoughts, the ant on the floor suddenly becoming extremely interesting, and opened his mouth.

"I know that you do not like me more than a friend. But please allow me to say this." Naruto took a deep, shaky breath then went for the fall.

"Sakura... I-I," Naruto started to say then stopped. She was gazing right at him. Unable to look at her he dropped his head and said it.

"I love you." Naruto didn't look up and plowed on. "I've loved you for over two years and I don't want this to change our friendship, but-" his voice broke and he had to gulp before continuing, "-but you are so important to me and you've helped me so much, I had to tell you. It would feel like I was lying if I didn't." Silence. Naruto felt like crying but instead he bit back the tears and glanced up, trying to read Sakura's face. What would her response be?

So, what's your parallel's response, Josiah? What's Sakura's response for me?

Yes, this is a 12 page long confession letter. Not everything that has to do with the situations is accurate, but it's as close as I can make it. Thank you for reading -bows-