Title: Eros

Pairing: Yusuke/Botan

Author: Fuki

Rating: T

Authors Note: This is my first Yu Yu Hakusho fic so please be gentle with me. Yusuke and Botan are my only favorite couple throughout the series, i've enjoyed it alot. I'm not really a Keiko/Yusuke fan, I just see no tingle, no real relationship. Don't get me wrong I like Keiko I don't dislike her, I just don't think its best between them two. If I had to choose somebody with her I would pick Kuwabara. Ah, yes, I do see a tingle between them. Same tingle with Botan and Yusuke. Okay enough chit chatter, I hope this story will keep you interested and I'll try my fullest to keep them all in character, i'm not much of an out of character fan myself. Enjoy.

(The stuff that are in italic are from the past not including the single words though, and most of the story is in Botan's POV.)

Chapter 1 - Trying

"Yusuke-sama.."

Love. Such pleasure. If she only knew it, how it felt to love. To have a loved one. To hug him, to kiss him. It would all be pleasure. It would be all she wanted, no needed. How would it feel to have a lover, how would it be like to breathe every breath when you look at him and say I love you. Just thinking about it gave her a lump in her throat. Every breath you took would be like a peice of heaven. Your face would heat and he would kiss you, hug you, anything for you, because it would be for you. Botan licked her dry lips, and swallowed hard. The lump. It was still there. Imagine if it were a real lump from her adorned one. Botan felt as if she were highly boast about herself. And highly nuts. The rash wind blew her cerulean hair, lashing with it. She was wearing a azure skirt that was up to her knees and she also had a clear white button down shirt (she wore a white tank top under it), which had sleeves, she was wearing white flip flops with cerulean designs, she let her pool of hair down, it suited her, really beautiful. The hem of her skirt blew up to her quivering thighs, her shirt swifly blew towards the right as if it was in water, flapping. It was time to go see Yusuke, she had not seen him in a while, for they had no more violent missons or what not. Its been calm. Its been a while since Botan had seen any of them. So Koenma let her go on vacation to Ningenkai. So had been horribly happy that she was going to see all her friends, which she has not seen for a while, but yet she didn't want to see them. Koenma was happy as well for her happiness. Botan summoned her oar, outside from Rekai, and brought the paddle to rest on her forehead and nose softly touching the handle.

"Yusuke-sama..." She serenely whispered.

Her grip on the oar tightened, and she removed it from touching her delicate face, placed it under her and seated on it. She was ready to set off, into the mist air. She slightly bit her lip and headed off.

"Yusuke!" I called happily. I was going to Yusuke's house. We were going to drink tea and have a talk, with Keiko too. I am so excited. I mean its only the two- oh! Three of us..

I got to his door. I gingerly knocked on it. I waited. And waited..and waited. Nobody answered. I turned the knob and it wouldn't budge. I sighed deeply, how I wanted to be in that house now! Then it hit me, a window, I can go to his window, surely he would be there. I sighed happily and did so. I walked through his bushes around his house, which lashed my pink skirt and the bottom of my white button down sleeved shirt. Finally, I got there, I rested my hands on his window and peeped in. At that moment. At that sight, moist tears rolled down I had instantly flushed, it felt so hot. My hands on the window fisted and slowly drifted down the window. I sat there on the grass, my legs by my sides. I sniffed, my whole face was flushed a light pink. I sat there alone weeping. My crush and his girlfriend were having a special time together. Not heavy but showering kisses on eachother, the sounds, the smile, their pleasure. Saying they love eachother and nobody else. That they'll get married and live a lovely life together. All together.

"Do you hear something?" Keiko had enquired worriedly.

Yusuke shook his head.

"No." Was his answer.

I could hear them, and let out a small cry silently. I stopped and stood up weakly, my knees were weak, she felt like a worthless peice of-

"Oh my god, Botan!"

I stopped dead in my tracks. They had saw me. By his window. Crying. Hurt. They both went rushing out of the room, I had the right feeling that they were going to come out and say "Are you okay?", "What happened?", "Why are you crying?". And they would blush, just picturing it made my eye's sting, I loved Yusuke deeply, I didn't want neither of them seeing me like this. I quickly wiped my tears with my sleeve and ran out the yard, onto the sidewalk. When Yusuke and Keiko came out hand in hand, I was gone. Yusuke felt bad, he had an odd feeling that I liked him. But he was way off. I loved him, dearly.

Botan was here, back in Ningenkai. Where Yusuke, Keiko, Kuwabara, Yukina, Shizuru, Hiei, Kurama, and Genkai were. She is delighted. She wanted to see Yukina-neesan so badly, she missed hugging her and all. She missed Hiei's remarks and scowls, she even missed the non-healthy puffs Shizuru made while smoking. She missed it all. She decided to go to the temple, which was were she came, because most likely the gang, or at least some of them would be here. She hope to see him but she was scared. She shook it off and took a steps on the stairs that led to the temple.

Tip, Tap

It stopped.

She was here, finally here. For five whole months. Peace.

I walked towards the temple, my heart beating every step, it was hard to breath, that damn lump was still there. I knew I was scared. Scared of how they might react. Scared of what they would say. Scared if they might know my feelings and what I saw. I closed my batting eye's. My eye's were moist again. Why had I come? There is no such thing as trio love, no such thing. Only one, single, the one and only person will get the chance. Thats how it goes. Only room for one. My tongue ran through my wet lips. I stood there distanced from the décor temple.

I ran as far as my witty legs could take my. To tell you the truth I don't know where the hell i'm going. I'll I was thinking about was crying or be alone. I stopped, I didn't know where the hell I am. I think i'm in some street. It was empty, not a single soul, but mine, was here. I saw a tree. I shakyly walked there. It was big, it had fat green leave on it. I clumsyly sat flat on my butt. I don't know if I accidently fell or what the hell happened. I was too busy mixed with my emotions. I brought my knees up to my chest, and my arms wrapped around it. My knees were pink because of all the stupid trips. I laid my moist chin on my arm with my knees. I inhaled deeply and outhaled slowly, I kept on repeating quickly, I couldn't stop even if I tried. Unless I would cry outloud it would work simutanously. My bangs were clashed onto my cheeks, they were wet because of my tears. I felt horrible.

"Botan-chan?"

No. Not like this. He is the very last one I wish to see. If I saw him I would cry harder. Its so out of me. Yusuke came to me slowly. He looked guilty. Or I don't know. He looked worried. He bent down to me and met my gaze.

"Whats this?" He pondered softly reaching to my face letting a tear fall to his index finger, "why are you crying?"

My mouth trembled. My knees did too. He pulled me into a hug and gently stroked my pilous head. I sniffed on his shoulder, I didn't think he minded my tears on him. He didn't care much. He rubbed my back up and down. It made my face go red. I cried outloud now. It was hard to keep it in. He felt important now. He pulled out of the hug and looked at me straight in my wet amethyst eye's, I looked into his honey ones. He looked serene. I looked like everybody died.

"Tell me," He quietly asked, "whats wrong?"

I softly smiled inwardly. I knew he was going to ask me that. I parted my pink lips and hiccuped, my chest pounded up and pulled back in, making an akward sound. "Hiccup.."

"I," I finally began softy, I pulled him into an embrace and drifted my eye's shut, this was going to be embarrassing and heartbreaking, "love you!" I whispered in his ear. I hugged him, I wasn't planning to let him go.

Yusuke could feel himself getting hot in his face, he felt as if he was steaming off. He tried to pull away but no such luck, I was forcefully holding him.

"Botan, let me go!" He said trying to wiggle me off, but I held him tight. I didn't want to lose time. He got up and pulled me off. His hands were on my hips, pulling me. I was off of him.

"What?"

Keiko whispered.

A tear rolled down her rosey cheek, another..and another. She was crying. Yusuke was holding my hips and we were close to eachother. What else would she think? Her knuckles turned white, she turned around and ran, her flip flops flopping, in every step. When the flopping noise was far off, I looked at Yusuke, he was facing me. He looked angry. He roughly let go of my hips and ran towards his love. Keiko. The one, single, one and only Keiko..his love.

"Keiko!" He shouted miserably and ran towards her.

I was there all alone crying. My crys we loud, he was probally ignoring me or whatever. I summoned my oar and quickly left. I absolutely did not want to come to Ningenkai anymore, perhaps this would be the last time.

Okay Botan ol' girl. No turning back now. The sun is setting and there are molesters at night. I sighed as deep as my lungs could go. I straightned myself, and brushed the hem of my skirt, it was time to go in. I walked towards the shrine, my flip flop flopping. Oh doesn't this sound familar..? My feet picked up and landed on the porch. I took off my flip flops and opened the shrine door, slowly. My heart was racing.

"Hi!" I smiled softly.

Yukina's eye's glistened in joy, I could tell, she got up quickly and embraced me tightly.

"Botan-chan!" She cried happily.

I stroked her soft hair, smiling, she was happy to see me, that was good, now for the others responses.

"Botan-chan," Kurama said surprised, "its been a while, ne?"

"Yes." I nodded, I felt a bit airy as usual. My eye's searched the room, Hiei, Genkai, Kurama, Yukina, Yusuke..!

I glanced at the punk, he was looking cocky as usual, no surprise there, he didn't seem to care much, he just looked at me, I felt his gaze on me, it made me highly uncomfortable. Keiko, Shizuru, and Kuwabara weren't here, I suppose I would meet them later or tommarow. I'm really nervous, but i'm here. Yukina let go and took my hand softly and led me to sit next to her, she offered me some tea, which I gladly accepted. Genkai looked at me and I smiled softly, as did she. Looks like they didn't mind me here.

"So Botan," Genkai's dry voice began. "why did you leave?"

I flinched secretly at the question which she had uncharacteristicly enquired, normaly Genkai wouldn't of get into my personal life but she was concerned.

"I had work." I replied flatly, looking down at the azure skirt I was wearing. Kurama noticed I was uncomfortable and decided to change the subject.

"So what would you guys like to do tommarow, now that Botan-chan is here?" Kurama smiled.

I'll thank him a million times later on, that he understood me.

"I dunno, the beach?" Yusuke thought aloud, glancing at me at every chance he got. He was studying me. How I felt or what not. If I was angry or sad. But little did he know I was doing the same. I really want to ask him if he and Keiko are good now, I hope so.

"Great idea." Kurama fisted his hand and hit it softly on his palm.

I nodded vigorously.

Whatever you want.. I thought glancing at Yusuke quickly. I felt a blush creep up to my cheeks.

Authors Note: I'm done with this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it. Remember this is my first Yu Yu Hakusho story, so be gentle. I don't approve of this chapter much. I don't think I tried my fullest. Oh well. Review, I love them. I have many thoughts and twist stormed up in my head. I'm dieing to use them. Well this chapter seemed too normal. Okay, well, review, next chapter will be coming shortly.