Title: Back to You
Pairing: Tony/Ziva, TIVA, Zony, whatever you like to call them
Rating: T
Spoilers: The last scene of Royals and Loyals.
Summary: She hates him for doing this to her. Every time she thinks she's getting over him he does something that has her falling for him all over again.
Disclosure: Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'll never own NCIS and that's nothing new.
Dedication: MY Raechull aka other half aka partner in crime aka all the other names we use for each other. Oh and thanks to GoingVintage for beta-ing at the last minute :).
A/N: This is the first thing I've written in I don't know how long. I've gone through a lot since I last wrote so my writing may be a bit different but I would still appreciate it if you'd review :).
She cannot get out of the office fast enough. She feels her heart jump and her stomach flip and all she wants to do is get out of there and away from him as quickly as possible. Why does he always have to do this? She asks herself. Why can he not let me be happy if happy means being with someone other than him? She quickly corrects herself though. She would not be happy with anyone else besides him; not truly. Maybe she could learn to love someone else; be devoted to them but not in love with them because in all honesty Ziva David is in love with a man who will probably never admit his feelings for her or commit to her.
Contents Priceless.
Those are the words that race though her mind on her drive to her apartment. When she reaches her front door she does not even remember how she got home in the first place. Blaring car horns and a burly man giving her what Tony would the seagull briefly registers in her mind but when she turns the door knob the thought drifts away as quickly as it came.
Once inside she carelessly drops her bag that a few years ago she claimed she would never carry in the entryway and goes to turn on the lamp next to her large TV that Tony insisted she absolutely must have so that when he came over to watch a movie they could enjoy it that much more like they did in his apartment. Tony, Tony, Tony. He is in every aspect of her life whether she wants him to be or not and Ziva has a feeling he likes it that way. Secretly she does too.
She leans up against the wall and crosses her arms before slowly sliding down until she feels the hardwood beneath her. Ziva has never been one throw a fit or become hysterical when she is upset. When she cries it is silent; the tears just seem to come though her breathing becomes shallow. In this moment she knows she is going to cry so she places her head in her hands and wills it to come quickly.
(-*-)
Tony is doing everything he can possibly think of to get this alarm to stop going off when McGee comes back from visiting with Abby.
"All you have to do is unplug it ya know." He says as he crouches under Ziva's desk and pulls the plug. He does know the code to unlock it and shut everything off but McGee feels like making Tony feel stupid to get him back for all the times Tony has made him feel less than adequate.
"Why didn't I think of that?" Tony questions with his palms flat on the desk and beads of sweat shining on his forehead.
"You were probably too busy watching the different ways your face can express panic on the webcam." McGee retorts while packing his bag.
"True. What's up with you McBrusque? Did those loathsome larvae hatch and begin biting you in your boots?"
McGee shakes his head before answering, "When are you going to tell her Tony?"
"Tell who what?" Tony quickly asks. His mind all ready drifting to Ziva.
"Tell Ziva that you don't want her to be with anyone else? That you want her to be with you?"
Tony's mouth drops open as he sits there in shock. He thought no one knew about his feelings for Ziva. He thought he had covered it up with his big brother demeanor.
McGee shakes his head again before slinging his backpack over his shoulder and walking out.
Not long after the elevator dings Tony stands up and picks up his gear, pushes Ziva's chair in, and heads for the elevator.
(-*-)
Ziva is combing her hair with her hands, tears still dripping from her eyes like a leaky faucet, when she hears a distinctive knock at the door. The noise feels as though someone is pounding on her skull from within the confines of her brain and suddenly she has a splitting headache. Knowing that opening the door will only make this tension she feels deep inside the pit of her stomach worse she gives herself a moment before rising to her feet.
Her strides are long and slowly paced; almost like a model walking down a runway. She is no hurry to open the door. If she didn't know he would probably knock until his knuckles were split and then proceed to call until she was annoyed with the melodic sound from her phone she probably wouldn't open the door at all.
His right arm is braced on the frame; his head downcast as if he were trying to catch his breath after a long run when she finally opens the door.
"Hello, Tony." It comes out as a whisper because her throat feels swollen and achy. Their eyes meet and Tony's expression goes from slightly conflicted to suddenly shocked. Without extending an invitation to come in Ziva leaves the door open and walks back into her apartment.
"You're crying." Tony states tentatively as he follows her after silently shutting the door and locking the deadbolt.
"Astounding observation." She replies with bitterness in her light laugh and sarcasm dripping in her tone. She braces herself with her hands gripping the back of her loveseat with her back to him.
"Why?" He questions so nonchalantly it could be infuriating. He is standing not three feet behind her; willing for her to look his way.
"Of what concern is it to you?" The defensive sound in her voice does nothing to ease the tension in the room as she casts a glance over her shoulder at him while walking to peer out the window.
Ziva does not want to look at him because she knows there are only two possibilities that could come of it and neither of them are appealing at the moment.
"Ziva." Tony calls softly, and something in his voice, the tone he uses, the way he makes it sound like he needs her causes something inside her to snap and suddenly she's infused with rage.
"What Tony? What is it that you want me to say?" Her eyes are molten and her expression is nothing short of deadly.
He knows that something is drastically wrong here, and he knows that he needs to proceed with caution by the look on her face.
"I want you to tell me why you are so upset." He says it somewhat slowly and he takes small steps to get closer to her.
"No." It is the simplest answer she can give, and her tone lets him know that if he wants a better one he is going to have to fight her for it.
"Why?" He asks again. He is starting to become annoyed with this game they are playing and it shows.
"Because."
"Because why?"
"Because it involves you! It involves you and the horrible habit you have of not wanting me to happy with another man. Tell me Tony why can I not be happy with Ray? He is a good man; a strong man; a loving man. Why must you ruin every relationship I have with another man by wanting to know everything about him or being jealous or making me feel as though I am making the wrong choice by dating him! Tell me Tony why will you not let me be happy being happy means I am with someone other than you?"
It all comes out so fast before she can stop herself, and when she is done her breathing is ragged but she feels as though something has been liberated from her.
He just stares at her; letting everything she has just dumped on him settle in.
"Are you happy?"
The way he says it and the genuine look of concern on his face snaps her out of whatever trance she is in and truly makes her look at him. Tony. The man she has fallen in love with time and time again. He is a smart man; a strong man; a loyal man. He is everything she could have ever asked for and more. Which is why choosing what she says next comes so easily.
"No." Her voice is soft and breathy and the tears just seems to start flowing again. Tony is nothing less than surprised by her answer.
"Why?"
"Because Tony," She laughs a little, and her heart feels as though it is about to split in two. "Because he is not you, and he never will be. None of that matters though."
Tony wastes no time in walking straight over to her and wrapping her up in his arms. She hugs him back tentatively as he leans down to breathe in the smell of her hair.
"Why Ziva? Why doesn't it matter?" He asks softly and suddenly she is pushing him away.
"Because you do not want to be with me Tony, and that is okay." She has turned away from him again, and wrapped her arms around herself as if she were holding herself together.
Tony walks to her again, spins her around, grabs her by the shoulders and looks her straight in the eye before saying "But I do want to be with you Ziva. I always have, I think."
"You think?"
"Yeah I just. There was always something going on with us you know? One of us was always with someone else or getting over someone else, but now, Ziva now we can be together and make this work."
He feels as though he is getting somewhere with her, with them, and that is when she pulls away from him; crossing her arms over her chest.
"I am with someone Tony." She says it as though it's written in stone, and that she does not want to change it.
"You aren't happy with him though."
"Why now Tony?" Why are you telling me this right now?"
"Because I am tired of being without you, and pretending that I don't want to kiss you, or hold your hand when we are walking down the damn street to show all those guys who stare at you that you're mine."
He can barely get out the last words because she is smiling so big and it makes him so happy he can't help but laugh. He wraps her up in her arms again and leans in to whisper in her ear.
"And because Ziva David I just can't live without you. I guess."
She swats his chest and laughs, knowing that he means it now as much as he did then. She peers up with him with her little smirk that tells him she's about to get her way.
"Okay Tony. We will try to make this work, but we are going to take things slowly okay? Slow-ly."
"Slowly. Gotcha. And what about Senor South Beach? What are you going to do with him?"
"He is just a friend. We slept together when I was in Miami but it has been casual since." She states it as though it is nothing serious, and he tries not to let it get to him.
"I guess I'll pretend I didn't hear that."
"Good because it is really nothing to worry about. My feelings for him are mutual."
"Neutral." He corrects automatically.
"Whatever." She laughs.
With that their lips met and sent sensations soaring through their bodies. It was gentle at first, but as they became closer everything seemed to heat up about ten degrees. Their tongues prodded and elicited groans from each other. Hands roamed and learned every curve of the other's body. It wasn't until Tony's hands begun unbuttoning Ziva's shirt that they parted.
"Tony. Slowly." She breathed out as lips moved to her neck while his hands continued to work.
"Slowly Right." He says before kissing her again and slowing down his movements.
Ziva then pushed his jacket from his arms and wound her arms around his neck. Tony's hands slid to cup her bottom and lift her up so that he could carry her to her bedroom. Ziva more than willingly wrapped her legs around his waist.
As they were entering her room Ziva pulled away and said "Hey."
"What?" Tony asked confused. They shared a look before smiling and saying in unison "Slow-ly."
So that night Tony took his time and showed Ziva exactly what she'd be getting from him from now on, and he did it all slow-ly.