Disclaimer: Don't own FF7, don't own Abba. No suing! Bah, I'm tired of doing these disclaimers! On with the fic!
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Vincent Is A Super Trooper (Performed by Yuffie Kisaragi)
By Charles Xavier
(Parody of 'Super Trouper' by Abba)
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"Yuffie, for the last time, we have to get the people out of Midgar quickly!"
Vincent was right. Meteor was drawing closer by the minutes and AVALANCHE's plans to evacuate the city wasn't going all too well. Unfortunately, Yuffie wasn't helping much. She ceased to stop admiring the stressed out man giving her orders. And who could blame her when the whole world was at the fingertips of annihilation? Her secret crush on Vincent had to be exposed some way or another if they were all going to perish.
"Wake up, Yuffie! This is no time for daydreaming!"
Yuffie shook her head, waking up from her short lived dream. "What did you say, Super Trouper?" she said dearly.
Vincent couldn't help but frown. "What…what did you call me?"
"Super Trooper!" Yuffie leapt with joy…of all times she could ever be so happy. "Vincent Valentine…this will come as a surprise to you, but I've always had my eyes on you! To me, you're always gonna be my Super Trooper! And I just want you to know that in case we don't make it out of here alive!"
"Yuffie…" Vincent shook his head and sank his face into his claw. "…there's a time and place for these matters. But that time is not now! Cloud gave us a job to do here, and we have to…"
"Super Trooper!" Yuffie burst out.
"Don't call me that." Vincent blushed slightly.
"Super Trooper! Super Trooper! Super Trooper! Super Trooper!"
"Here we go again…"
…
Super Trooper.
Everybody hates me,
But I don't feel blue.
They don't have a clue,
That I've a secret crush on you!
…
The cheering population of Midgar paraded onto the streets, dressed in colorful Abba-esque costumes, lighting fireworks and waving balloons as if today was a New Year. And of course, this came much to Vincent's ire. He had worked for hours getting the people out of the city…and it only took seconds for them to return…
…
I was fed up with my stupid dad,
Throughout my childhood years in Wutai.
All he did drive me friggin' mad,
I wished someday I'd bid him goodbye.
Can't imagine how would fate bring us together.
I fell in love at first sight.
Now it's gonna be romantic,
It's just you and me tonight!
…
Tonight my
Super Trooper
Rescues me from Meteor,
Burning like the sun.
I'll be having fun,
With my beloved number one!
Yes, you're my
Super Trooper.
Nobody adores me,
But I don't feel blue.
No one has a clue,
That I've a secret crush on you!
…
Taking advantage of my loving friends.
Well, I gotta admit I'm naughty.
Thieving's a success that never ends,
And I won't quit when I reach forty.
There are times in fact I feel a little guilty,
But I really feel all right,
'Cause it's gonna be romantic,
It's just you and me tonight!
…
Tonight my
Super Trooper
Helps me steal Materia,
Snagging tons of gil.
Gawd, it's such a thrill!
I've got a dozen bags to fill!
Come on, my
Super Trooper.
Everybody chases me,
But I don't feel blue.
They don't have a clue,
That I've a secret crush on you!
…
Yes, I'll be there
To be your bride.
Husband and wife,
We'll fight evil-doers side by side!
And when you wrap me in your arms
Inside your cape,
I know there's something big
To anticipate!
…
Tonight my
Super Trooper
Rescues me from Meteor,
Burning like the sun.
I'll be having fun,
With my beloved number one!
Yes, you're my
Super Trooper.
Nobody adores me,
But I don't feel blue.
No one has a clue,
That I've a secret crush on you!
…
Super Trooper,
Won't you hug and kiss me?
…
Vincent cocked his gun and fired a shot at the stereo, immediately ending the song. He had enough for one night. And by this time, Meteor was only inches away from destroying Midgar. Panic struck the people and the city was left in a state of chaos once again.
It looked like Vincent and Yuffie had to start from scratch with the evacuation.
"Yuffie…I'll pretend this whole song never occurred."
"Okay, Super Trooper!" Yuffie winked.
…
Fin
…