It was a beautiful day in the forest. The sun shone down onto the camp that ThunderClan called home, and there was nary a cloud to be seen in the sky.

"Brackenfur?" Firestar called out, in a deeper voice than his normal one. As usual, he was pronouncing the warrior's name wrong.

Brackenfur walked across camp to where Firestar was sprawled comfortably, with Graystripe and Brambleclaw sitting at his sides. Brackenfur was as loyal as they came (which he would soon regret) but even he had noticed something a little odd about the Clan leader lately.

There was a gleam in Firestar's green eyes as Brackenfur sat before him. Some would call it demonic. They would be right.

"Brackenfur!" Firestar declared, pronouncing it with the long "A" as usual. "Do you see that squirrel there?"

'There' was the fresh-kill pile, on top of which was a fluffy and recently expired squirrel. Brackenfur did indeed see it.

"Yes," he said, which was truthful.

"I want you to pick it up," Firestar said loudly. Brackenfur nodded in a politely bamboozled way, wondering why the Clan leader was making such a fuss over having a squirrel brought to him.

"Pick it up in your masculine jaws!" Firestar continued.

That was certainly… odd. "What?" Brackenfur mouthed over Firestar's shoulder at Brambleclaw.

Brambleclaw, although he was the Clan deputy, clearly had no idea what was going on. "I have no idea,"mouthed back.

Graystripe, on the other hand, was totally aware of what was coming, and was tickled pink about it.

"Pick it up in your masculine jaws," Firestar repeated in his new deep voice. By now the entire Clan was watching and Brackenfur was feeling intensely uncomfortable.

"And carry it to the lake in the light of full moon," the Clan leader continued.

Well, things had certainly taken a strange turn now. Brackenfur listened in horror as Firestar went on:

"And unsheathe your claws - your claws will glitter in the light of the full moon…"

"Do they have to?" Brackenfur interrupted, determined to make a little sense of things. "My claws are pretty clean, but - "

"SILENCE!" Firestar roared. "You will unsheathe your claws and remove the skin from the squirrel… "

Across camp, Brightheart found herself fighting the urge to vomit.

"... Remove it all!"

Brightheart lost the fight.

"... And then you will take the squirrel to a flat rock, in a clearing where the full moon shines. Find the biggest, grandest rock you can…"

Graystripe was staring at the back of Firestar's head with rapt, devoted attention. On his other side, Brambleclaw's face was a slack mask of terror. The Clan could barely believe what they were hearing.

"... And you will crush deathberries on the rock…"

"Where do I get the deathberries?" Brackenfur asked weakly, grasping for something normal.

"Out of Brambleclaw!" Firestar reached around backward and produced a pawful of deathberries.

"Whaaat?!" Brambleclaw gasped. "Where did you - How did you - Those were IN me?" He gazed around wildly, wondering what the StarClan was happening today.

Graystripe gave Brambleclaw a cool, knowing look that chilled his insides and shut him up.

Firestar slid the berries out of sight under a bush, grinning wickedly. "You will mash the berries on the rock, and roll the squirrel's body in the juice."

Brackenfur and every somewhat sane cat in the Clan was staring at Firestar in stunned silence. The complete and utter quiet was disturbing.

"Well?" Daisy's Southern voice twanged. "Then what? He can't just stop there."

Everyone moved quickly away from Daisy.

"Then," Firestar continued, "you'll pick it up by it's tail - the very tip of it's tail, the only unpoisoned bit - and carry it down to the lake. Then you'll swing the squirrel through the air with your muscular neck, and release it. And it will soar through the air in the light of the full moon and it will hit the water and we will see if it SINKS OR FLOATS!"

Brackenfur was momentarily at a loss for words, but he recovered quickly. "That's it? You just want to see if it FLOATS?"

"Yes." Firestar grinned broadly. "We'll see you tonight."

"Uh, yes, can I come watch this too?" Daisy asked in a hopeful Southern way.

"Certainly," Firestar said magnanimously.

The entire rest of the Clan looked around at each other, nobody quite ready to speak. Most of ThunderClan's leaders lost their minds eventually, and apparently Firestar had decided to kick off the descent into madness with a bang.