Brian stood at the window in the dark, staring down at the street.
What if there was someone else? Someone he was seeing?
Brian took a long drag of his smoke. He knew there was someone else. And he hated it.
He hated the way his Sunshine came home late, slipping into the shower as quickly as he could while spouting a lie about where he'd been.
It had been going on for weeks now.
Brian found himself holding Justin tighter at night, as if he could keep that way. He'd stopped himself several times from telling Justin he knew, from asking him to stop what he was doing, to telling him how he felt.
He couldn't say any of that though. He was already hurting, admitting how he felt would just make it worse when Justin finally left.
He stubbed him smoke out and lit another.
The past couple nights had been the worst. Justin had taken to coming to bed in a shirt and making some stupid excuse for why he didn't want to fuck.
That hurt the worst. It wasn't the actual fucking that was important to him; it was the connection, the feelings, the way he could hold his boy. Justin hadn't even wanted Brian to love him the past couple nights.
He looked at the clock. It was almost three. Justin was usually home by now.
He picked up his drink and swallowed it down quickly.
He didn't know what he was going to do. He didn't want to lose him, but he couldn't let this go on.
What if there was someone else? Someone he was seeing?
Brian gritted his teeth, hearing Michael's words again. Why couldn't his friend have kept his mouth shut? Let Brian have a little longer in denial.
The clock again. It was a minute after three.
Justin wasn't home, wasn't even in the building yet. He hadn't broken this rule before, but it shouldn't surprise Brian, he'd broken the others.
At quarter to four, Brian finally admitted his boy wasn't coming home tonight.
He threw the bottle of Beam he held across the loft in anger. Why the hell had he allowed himself to feel something for the blond?!
He dropped down onto the sofa, not know what to do.
His cellphone rang a couple minutes later, startling him. No one called at this time in the morning.
He almost ignored it, thinking it might be Justin with some lie about being at Daphne's, he almost ignored it.
He picked it up though.
It wasn't Justin, it was an unknown number.
"Kenny," he snapped into the phone.
"Brian Kenny?"
"Yes?" Brian said slowly, worried why a serious sounding voice was calling.
"I have Justin Taylor here," the voice said. "I found your name and number in his wallet."
"Justin? Where?" Brian demanded, already shoving his feet into shoes. "Who are you?"
"My name is George Warren," the man said. "I found Justin outside my apartment building a little while ago."
"Is he hurt?" Brian asked, grabbing his wallet and hurrying out the door. Any anger he'd had was instantly gone, replaced with worry for his boy.
"I'm afraid so," he said. "I attempted to take him to the hospital, but he started to have some kind of attack."
"Where are you?"
The man gave him an address and Brian snapped his phone closed. He barely managed not to speed to the address he was given.
The man who opened the door looked only a couple years older than Brian and looked good. Was this him? If this was the man Justin had been seeing, why had he called? Brian didn't peg him as gay.
"Brian Kenny I assume?"
Brian nodded and walked into the apartment when the man stepped aside.
"Is he here?" A soft female voice called a second before a very pretty, very pregnant woman stepped out of what Brian assumed was a bedroom.
"I'm Brian," he said quickly. "Where's Justin?"
"He's in here," the woman said gently. "I'm afraid he hasn't been very coherent, I think that is mostly because of the wound on his head."
Brian felt his blood turn to ice with fear. He hurt his head?
Brian followed woman into the dim bedroom and froze for a second.
Justin lay in what appeared to be a young boy's bed, the blanket pulled to his shoulders. The right side of his face looked bruised and he had a dish towel place over what had to be his head wound just past and above his left ear.
"What happened?" Brian asked softly as he walked up to the bed.
"I don't really know," the man, George said from the doorway. "I was heading to the store for one of Maggie's cravings," he smiled indulgently at his wife then turned his attention back to Brian. "I found him lying on the ground next to the building. He was completely out of it even though he was conscious."
"George brought him in to me," Maggie said. "Poor boy was frozen solid and had clearly been attacked."
Brian swallowed deeply and reached down to touch Justin's shoulder through the blanket. "It was nice of you to help him," he said, knowing most people wouldn't.
"I couldn't leave him," George told him. "He looked so young."
"How bad is he hurt?" Brian asked. "Why isn't he at the hospital?"
"We were going to take him," George said. "But as soon as we said it, he started having what I can only describe as a panic attack."
Brian nodded. "He has those."
"He calmed once I promised not to take him," George went on. "Maggie's been taking care of him, she's nurse."
"How long has he been here?"
"I called you once he calmed and Maggie got him to lie down."
"He's just now warming up," Maggie said, standing on the other side of the bed, running he hand carefully over Justin's left cheek. "I'd say the poor boy must have been outside for a couple hours."
Brian's heart tightened. How long had his boy been out? How long had he been out after being attacked? While Brian had been home being angry with him.
"I think the wound on his head is the worst," Maggie said, moving the towel and carefully lifting some of Justin's blood stained blond hair. "It doesn't look that deep, but that's the only reason I can think for why he's so out of it."
Brian nodded, staring at his boy as his head rolled side to side a little, restlessly. "The rest?"
"He has a bunch of bruises, a couple small cuts I expect happened from hitting things more than from being hit.," Maggie said slowly pulling the blanket down to expose Justin's bare chest.
His boy's pale skin was marred by a couple bruises, his right side looked to be one large bruise from his underarm to his disappear into his jeans.
"His back is worse," Maggie said gently. "There are a couple bruises that are not from this attack."
Brian stiffened. "What?"
Maggie frowned a little. "Are you close to him?" She asked.
Brian nodded. "We're partners," he said without thought. "But we haven't really been close lately."
She nodded. "He has a couple bruises that look to be have inflicted over the past couple days."
Brian balled his hands into fists. "That must be why he refused to take his shirt off," he said, more to himself.
"Brian." Justin's voice was soft, the name mumbled, but Brian heard it.
"Hey, Sunshine," he said gently as he knelt next to the bed and took the boy's cold hand in his.
"Brian?" Justin mumbled again, his eyes fluttering open this time.
"Yeah, it's me."
His eyes closed again. "Brian," he mumbled. "Where are you? Help me."
Brian felt like his heart would break with the blond's mumbled pleas.
"I'm here, Jus," Brian said.
Justin frowned, his eyes opening again, this time fully. "Brian?" He still sounded confused, but more alert.
"Yeah."
"Where am I?" He asked, his eyes moving around for a second before settling back on Brian.
"A nice couple's house who found you on the street," he said honestly. "What happened to you?"
Justin's eyes shut and shook his head a little then winced. "I want to go home," he whispered.
Brian looked at the woman in question. "He's okay, right?" He asked.
She nodded. "I suggested he take it easy for a day or two," she said. "But he's okay enough for you take him home."
Brian smiled as he helped Justin sit up. "Thank you," he said gratefully.
Brian helped Justin back into his shirt, jacket, and shoes. He dug into his wallet, pulling out several bills.
"You put that away," the woman said before he could even hold it out to them.
"You don't have to pay us," George said. "We're just glad we could help."
Brian nodded after a second and helped Justin out of the apartment.
Justin didn't speak as Brian drove them home, or as they rode up the elevator. It wasn't until Brian went to pull his shirt off that Justin reacted at all.
He moved to pull away. "No, Brian," he muttered.
Brian held him gently by his arm. "It's okay, Sunshine," he said soothingly. "You need a shower to finish warming you up, then I can put some cream on you to help with the bruises."
Justin kept his head down as he nodded and allowed Brian to pull his shirt off.
Brian bit back a hiss when he saw his boy's back. It was covered in bruises. Maggie was right, a few of them were old. Justin had been hit before.
Brian knelt down and helped Justin remove his shoes, socks, pants, and briefs. His hips held several bruises and his knees were scrapped up from a fall.
Brian kissed Justin's forehead when he stood up. The boy who stood in front of him looked more like the one he'd took in after the bashing, not his strong stubborn blond.
"Get in the shower, Jus," Brian told him as he led them into the bathroom. He reached in, adjusted the water then began removing his own clothes.
Justin was just standing in the shower when he stepped in.
Brian lifted his face and wasn't sure if it was water or tears that streamed down his boy's face. He gently pulled him into his arms.
"You're okay, Jus," he whispered in his ear.
Brian released him after a minute and began to gently wash him. Justin just allowed him without comment.
"What happened, Sunshine?" Brian asked gently as he helped Justin get onto the bed on his stomach.
Justin hissed when the cold cream touched his back. "I was stupid," he muttered.
Brian gently rubbed the cream onto the bruised skin, hating to see the pale skin marked in such a way.
"Did he do this?" Brian asked carefully.
Justin tensed under his hands. "You knew," he whispered.
"Yeah, I knew," Brian told him. "Did he?"
Justin nodded against the pillow.
"This wasn't the first time."
Justin shook his head.
"Why, Justin?" He asked gently. "If he hit you before, why go back?"
Justin sniffed then turned his head so that his bruised cheek was on the pillow, leaving his head wound untouched. "I stopped seeing him more than a week ago," he said softly. "I couldn't do it anymore. I didn't love him, just the things he would do."
Brian nodded even though Justin wouldn't see it. He'd assumed the unknown man had to be giving him something Brian wasn't.
"He lost his temper," Justin went on in a whisper. "I never knew he had one until then. I certainly didn't expect him to lash out."
Brian began to rub the cream down Justin's legs, more to sooth and relax the boy more than anything else.
"I'd left one of my sketchbooks," he said after a minute. "He wasn't supposed to be home, that's why I'd waited."
Brian didn't know what to say so he just continued to massage Justin's legs.
"I'm sorry, Brian."
"For what?" Brian asked, moving to sit on the bed next to his blond.
"For cheating," Justin whispered, his eyes closed. "For hurting you. But mostly for forgetting how much you really do love me."
Brian sighed and gently kissed Justin's cheek. "Don't forget again," he whispered. "Please."
Justin opened his eyes and Brian just stared into them. "I won't," he said seriously and took Brian's hand in his. "I love you, Brian, only you."
"I know, Sunshine," he said and kissed his lips softly. "I know."