"Uh, Dean?"

"What?"

"Dean, I might need some assistance."

"Really, Cas? Give me a minute. Let me at least finish the deforestation of my face. It's been two weeks since we've had a sink and mirror, so the least you can do is…"

"…"

"Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"How did you manage to get your shoelaces knotted with your tie?"

"I'm not quite sure. I was following the technique that -"

"Here, let me help you get - "

"Dean, I think it goes - "

" - sure it goes the other way! Cas, just let me - "

" - 'ean the tie…it's too…ack…tigh -"

"…better?"

"Aaagh…"

"Got it! Now is that better?"

"A little, I'm still - "

"I see it, Cas. Get your freaking girl hands out of the - "

"Dean, I don't think - "

"Damn it, Cas!"

"I believe we're tethered together now, Dean."

"Very astute Captain Obvious! Where's my knife? I think -"

"I was a Lieutenant."

"What?"

"In my garrison. I wasn't a captain. I was -"

"Oh for the love of -"

"Um, guys?"

"Sam? How fortunate."

"Thank God, Sammy. Could you help us out here?"

"Yeah, of course. Just let me get -"

"Sammy! Put the phone down! Don't take our - "

"Too late! Bobby and Ellen are getting pictures right about -"

"Sammy! Damn it!"

"Alright, alright. I'm coming. Calm down…"

"Jesus! Finally! I - "

"You can just call me Sam."

"Oh ha ha, very funny. Laugh it up, fuzzball."

"I appreciate your help Sam. Dean and I would have been trapped for quite a while had you not arrived when you did."

"You're welcome, Castiel. But, how did that happen in the first place?"

"I was attempting to tie my shoe using a technique that Dean - "

"You let Dean teach you how to tie your shoes?"

"Yes. Looking back, I see this was a bad plan."

"Catastrophic, actually. It took me years to figure it out. I didn't get it until Dad taught me a song that Dean refused to use because he thought it sounded too - I believe he called it 'pansy-ass'."

"Can you teach me this song?"

"Oh, God. Sammy, you're not actually going to - Oh God! You are…"

Four Hours Later

"Cas! Cut it out with that goddamn song, already!"

"But Dean, my shoelaces continue to - "

"Stop pulling on the laces then!"

"…"

"Finally, a little… Son of a bitch! Cas! What did I - "

"I enjoy the song, Dean. It's catchy."

"Well un-catch it then! And Sammy?"

"Yeah, Dean?"

"We're making a pitstop in the next city. We're getting Cas some new shoes - no laces - and I'm picking up another shovel."

"Why? We've got a couple - "

"Because I'm going to brutally smash your skull in and then bury your body with it. I told you not to teach him that song."

"…"

"Stop smirking!"

"…"

"And Cas, STOP SINGING!"

A/N: I don't actually know what song he's singing. I know I was probably taught one years ago about a bunny and ears, or something like that. So yeah. Regardless, I'm assuming they're all annoying as hell.