"And now, we bring you the latest updates on the weather in Valhalla. It would appear that the cloud cover hasn't changed. No sunshine, which is basically normal. Is there even a sun in Valhalla? It hasn't been proven. However, a storm appears to be coming, in the shape of-"
Odin was cut short by a fire blast in his face. Immediately he froze up, turning to scream at the perpetrator.
"GODDAMNIT, BRYNHILDR! You melted my awesome helmet! Again!"
"Shut up, fool!" bellowed the cranky, high on booze female Eidolon. "Quit glorifying ya mistress like she's the lord almighty."
"Well, she did get more screen time than afro man," commented Bahamut, hiccuping. He yawned. "Where's Hetacon, anyway?"
"He's trying to fight Stiria for the mirror," said Odin, scowling at his fifty-second ruined helmet. "Thanks a lot, Bryn; this thing took twenty three years to make!"
"Years don't mean nothin here, fool," snapped Brynhildr. "Now shut up, I'ma gonna pass out. Any minute now, you'll see..."
Out of nowhere, a bright white light shone down on the two drunk Eidolons. Bahamut let out an unmanly shriek, while Brynhildr jumped up in fury.
"YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT ETRO? FUCK YOU TOO! JUST CUZ YOU CAN'T GET DRUNK-"
"Honey, I'm home!" sang Hetaconcheir, sauntering over to Bahamut, who immediately shrank away from his many hands. "You're looking sexy todaaaaaay!"
"For the last freakin' time, Het," called Nix, her hand glued to her forehead in a permanent facepalm. "You aren't a woman!"
"Shame," muttered Bryn. "Imagine what he could do with those hands if he was... he could cure you of your pissyness, Odin."
"I'll have you know I'm straight as Tifa Lockhart's hair!" Odin replied heatedly.
"Don't even get me started on her hair," sighed Stiria, who conjured up a sofa and laid down upon it. "What I wouldn't give..."
"Sucks for you, wheelhead!" hooted Hetacon. "By the way, where's Alex?"
"He's over there," said Odin, jerking his head over to where the massive Eidolon sat, staring into space. "I think he's drawing rabbits again..."
A short span of silence followed, in which the only discernible sound was the screeching of faraway fangirls as Caius showed up yet again in the game.
"...I once had sex with a rabbit."
"Het, we did not need to know that."