((Why aren't there more Don't trust the B fanfics?))
"Oh! I get it; it's a school full of straight, twenty-six year olds pretending to be gay highschoolers so they can pull a fast one on that hot, fake teacher,…uh Sue, right?" Chloe declared with a wide, thin-lipped grin on her face. June narrowed her eyes and got a mildly shocked look on her brow line and her mouth.
"What? Chloe, no. There are only four or five gay ones, and no one is fake anything. They represent the struggles of teenagers today-"
"Ok, so, why are you watching it? I mean, I love a good orgy as much as the next girl, but this seems like a really weird premise for a porno. Why haven't there been any naked people yet?"
June's mouth fell open, and she paused Glee so she could look at Chloe with a deeply incredulous expression.
"You think we're watching porn together?" She whispered the word porn like it was a filthy word, which baffled Chloe because Porn, along with fluffernutter, smackwitch, and her own name, was one of her favorite words of all. She stuck out her bottom lip like she was disappointed/thinking.
"Yeah, like every Wednesday night, it's our weekly porn date-"
"Um, no no, I don't remember that. That's never happened."
Chloe did that smile she always did when she knew something that June didn't know.
"Oh June, that's because you're always asleep. See, it's perfect because it's all my favorite things: doing something that would annoy you if you knew about it and then getting to tell you about it, late night alcohol binges, and obviously porn. It's a real party; you should join me some time."
"You're an insane, crazy person, Chloe, so since there's nothing new, I'm going to bed."
Chloe smiled and waved saucily.
"See you in a few, hot stuff."
June was abruptly torn from a pleasant dream about friendly exchanges or flowers or something when Chloe sloshed a giant bucket of ice water on her. The young, blonde woman did her classic gasp/shout/whine and shot up in bed.
"Ooh, Chloe! Why- Wh- I- C-Cold!" June gasp/shout/whined, but Chloe ignored her protest and crawled into the soaking bed and spooned her favorite roommate with a pout on her attractive, model face.
"June, I had the worst nightmare. For some reason, my boobs were half lemons; that was awesome, but then I remembered I wanted to go out with these women I met at a yoga/sculpture workshop, and we all got these little dogs to go in our purses, and we were being catty like on sex in the city- Oh god! I don't even want to think about it!" Chloe buried her face in June's neck and pulled her forcefully closer by her waist. June didn't know what to do except hug her back and brush off the twisting in her stomach and the pimpling of her skin as a side effect of the cold.
"June, you're so cold. What the hell?" Chloe demanded, throwing her long leg across June's shivering, short ones. June's face flared with rage.
"Oh, I don't know, Chloe, maybe because you dumped a bunch of freezing water on me-"
"Ha. Not water, June, I dumped vodka on you, extremely expensive vodka. You owe me five thousand dollars."
"Damn it, Chloe. I'm sick and tired of your shenanigans! Get off me!"
Chloe laughed and awkwardly shifted her swan body so that she was lying completely on top of her indignant, little roommate.
"Ooh, tell me what to do, baby. I love it," she whispered with her hot breath blowing right into June's ear. June's mouth fell open in horror. Dear god, Chloe wasn't doing this, not now. June had work in the morning for Christ's sake.
"Chloe, stop. You're delusional, or high, or something. Please, I have to- mmmfhmmm" She stopped complaining, like Chloe knew she would, when the six foot eight, black-haired beauty planted a deep kiss on her lips. When Chloe pulled back, she grinned deviously at her obviously aroused roommate.
"Wow, June, I feel so much better. You always know just what to say," the young woman chirped and leapt out of bed and pranced out of the room, and suddenly June was alone, drenched in freezing vodka, with Eli staring into her room with a look on his face like he'd ripped his own penis off.
"What are you looking at?" June snarled at the friendly pervert.
"Are you kidding?" he choked back.