Disclaimer: I don't own anything and am making no money from the writing of this. All characters belong to JK Rowling - I only own the plot.
This story came from a challenge given by Wiccan98 which was:
"Remus and Sirius have a one-night stand. The next day they argue and Sirius storms out, failing to tell Remus of the changes to the Secret Keeper. Lily and James die not long after - Remus goes to confront Sirius and finds he's already been taken to Azkaban for the murder of his 3 friends...he doesn't learn the truth"
Rated M for a reason, slashy goodness ahead. Happy reading, and please Review!
"You shouldn't be here, Sirius."
"I don't see why not, Moony?"
Remus sighed heavily, stepping back to allow the black haired man through the door. Should he have expected a visit? Or should he have held out on the hope that Sirius would just stay away? Just let him live his life until all of this was over.
"It's dangerous Sir—"
"Bollocks Remus – the only time it's dangerous is if I'm taking you to see James," Sirius said, moving swiftly into Remus' small house, standing by the fireplace that was blaring in the October chill.
Remus followed him, averting his eyes from the silver gaze of his friend, and leaning awkwardly against the doorframe. Hearing James' name had softened him considerably.
"How are they?" he asked quietly, smiling at the quirk of Sirius' lips as he clearly thought of his godson.
"Lily and James are fine. Harry is getting so big now, you know I've been told I can't go to see them anymore...we've decided it's safer if none of us contact them; you never know who you can trust nowadays..." Sirius said, pulling what looked like a photograph out of his pocket and holding it out for Remus to take.
Walking carefully into the space between them Remus took the photo, and smiled as he looked at a picture of a young Harry on a broom, zooming in and out of the frame.
"I knew that broom was a bad idea – he's like his dad, he'll trash the house for sure," he laughed, running his fingers over the picture and holding it back out to Sirius, who reached for it, a determined gleam in his eye – almost feral.
Before he could fathom what had happened, Sirius had closed his fingers around Remus' wrist and yanked him forward, so there wasn't an inch of space between them. His breath caught in his throat as he met the eyes of his friend, liquid silver. Sirius plucked the photo out from his hand, which was still trapped in the long fingers, and placed it on the side.
"Sirius, what are you d—"
"I didn't come here to make idle chit chat, Remus, you should know that," Sirius growled, his breath tickling Remus' chin, causing a shudder to ripple through him at the contact.
"I thought we said...we said it was best that we stopped this," he replied, attempting to put some distance between him and the other man.
"I don't care what we said," Sirius growled in response, tightening his grip on Remus' wrist as he in one fluid motion pulled him even closer, and captured his mouth with his own, effectively knocking the wind out of him, and the feelings crashed over him in waves, and he felt his knees buckle, barely registering as Sirius caught him before he fell, using the moment to slip his tongue into Remus' willing mouth.
Their tongues wrestled for dominance as hands explored bodies, entwined in hair, remembering every inch of each other; they had not been together for so long, had both denied their urges for months on end in light of everything that had happened. Sirius pulled back, leaving Remus' skin burning where his hands had touched, and pulled the werewolf behind him, leading the way to the bed they had both come to see as their bed; the bed that Remus' had slept in alone for almost two months following their last night together.
Clothes were hastily discarded as they fell onto the bed together, a tangle of limbs, kisses given in between caresses and murmured endearments. Remus found himself pinned to the bed as Sirius kissed his way down his body, stopping over his shaft and caressing it lightly, causing him to wriggle in protest, drawing a sharp breath as he felt the warmth of Sirius' mouth over his length. He twined his hands in the black hair of his friend, giving himself over to his senses and the feelings that were coursing through him.
He sighed as Sirius stopped his ministrations and moved back up his body, planting kisses all the way up his torso, stopping to tease and lick his nipples, before capturing his mouth again in another searing kiss. Hands groped and stroked each other, preparing themselves for being together fully again.
When Sirius entered him, he let out a loud moan of pleasure, which was echoed as the Animagus buried himself to the hilt, pausing only slightly as he began to thrust into him. Remus' hips met every thrust of the other man, and they moaned in unison as they reached their climax, only seconds apart. The werewolf felt the weight of his friend upon him as they each caught their breath, and reached to twine his fingers once more in the long black hair that belonged to the man he had loved for so long.
"I forgot how much I love you, Moony, I can't believe we were apart for so long," Sirius' voice was a whisper against his ear, and he pulled his lover's face around, planting a kiss on his lips, and smiling.
"I agree, you have no idea how much so," he murmured back, feeling his eyes close as fatigue washed over him. Wrapping arms around each other, they fell into a light slumber, the awareness of the war around them gone for one moment, it was only them, together as they should be.
Should he have seen it coming the next morning, the argument that would end everything as they knew it? Or should he have accepted it as something that happened because of the high tensions; the war was tearing them all apart. Friendships, families; nothing was safe anymore, everything was being ripped apart.
It happened as they were sitting having breakfast together; which consisted of a coffee for Remus and some toast for Sirius. Something on the wireless, he struggled to remember what it was exactly, but something had caused a fight. Words were said – hurtful words – and there seemed to be nothing that could have stopped the thoughts, they needed to be said.
"There is a traitor among us Remus, you know there is,"
"I do know; you know that I know, so why bring it up?"
There had been a silence after that, and Remus had known, known that there was an accusation in the air, unsaid by Sirius. He was unwilling to speak the words, but clearly not unwilling to speak them.
"You think I am the traitor," It was not a question.
"I think there is a possibility – how can I trust anyone, my best friends life is at stake. My godson is in danger. I have to suspect everyone," he had sighed heavily, placing his head on the table.
"No you don't have to suspect everyone, you choose to suspect everyone. How can you think I would hurt you like that? I love James, Lily, Harry, as if they were my own family,"
"Loving people isn't enough when one is on a quest for power though, is it," was the reply, spoken cold and harsh.
Remus had taken enough at that moment, and without being aware of it, the words came tumbling out,
"You are their secret keeper Sirius; You are the one who holds the key to their safety! If anything, it should be your loyalty we are all questioning"
"How dare you," Sirius said, standing up.
Remus didn't see the fist coming; only felt it as it collided with his nose, sending him across the room and into the wall. The shock must have registered on his face, as the Animagus looked at his own fist, which was covered in a light smattering of blood, before glaring up at him.
"You know nothing Remus, nothing," The last word was spat with such vehemence that he recoiled from Sirius' words, as if they would hurt him physically, not just emotionally.
When he had no words in response, the black haired man had given him one long look, shook his head, and then apparated out, leaving Remus' to wonder what the fuck had gone wrong. Sirius had always been volatile, always been quick to question other people, yet unable to handle people questioning his own loyalty, his intentions.
And it had broken their relationship. He could feel that things would never be the same again, he just had no idea how bad they would get.
When the message came through not three days later, late on the evening of the 31st of December – Remus' had cried. For his lost friends, for poor Harry who was alone now in the world, and for the loss of his friend and lover. It did not help that he knew he had never really known Sirius. This was a man who had given up his friends for power. Who had accused him of the very same thing, when all along he really was the traitor.
It was too much after two days of sitting looking at old pictures, refusing to sleep in his bed; knowing that he had shared it with the person who had brought about the death of two of his best friends was too much. Things were quiet, too quiet. No word had been heard from Peter...and he was worried, the poor thing was probably terrified, he had never been good with situations like this.
So it was with great reluctance that eventually, on the second of November, he left the house and apparated to Sirius' home, intending to confront him, ask why he had done it. The house was empty, leading him to believe that it had been deserted; but as he explored the rooms, so familiar to him, he heard the door being blasted open, and watched wide eyed as a team of Aurors made their way into the house.
"What's going on?" he asked quietly, earning him several wands pointed up the stairs at him.
"Who are you and what are you doing here?" one of them asked, not kindly.
"Remus John Lupin, former friend of Sirius Black. I'm looking for him," he answered quietly, his voice breaking on the word 'former'.
"You won't find him here, he's been taken to Azkaban." The words were harsh and blunt, and he felt himself collapse under the weight of them, sitting on the stairs with his head in his hands. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked up to see one of the younger Aurors standing by him, smiling sadly.
"What happened?" Remus asked quietly, not knowing if they would tell him or not.
"He murdered Peter Pettigrew and twelve Muggles' yesterday morning, he was also responsible for the death of the Potters. The only good thing that's come out of all of this is that the Dark Lord is gone," the Auror spoke quietly, shaking his head as he thought of the situation.
Remus hadn't heard any words past the murder of the muggles though. He couldn't believe it; how could he believe it? His lover was responsible for all of this, all of this destruction and devastation. He placed his head in his hands as a silent sob wracked his body, causing the Auror to leave him alone, giving him privacy.
Lily and James were gone. Peter too, and now he had nothing – not even the comfort from his lover. He would have never believed it had come to this.
He only wished he had seen the signs earlier, and now he had failed them all. He had failed to see that Sirius was more than what he had said. He had failed to protect them, and keep them safe – that's what friends did – protected each other. He didn't know if he could have stopped Sirius, but what hurt him the most...
After everything Sirius Black had done – after all of the pain he had caused – he still loved him.
He was in love with his best friend.
He was in love with a murderer, and that would haunt him forever.