For the rest of my life, I will always remember what the words "to fall in love" means. It is not simply love; it is love, true love, wholly profound and sincere. Not the love between family, nor the love of best friends, but the love between two persons. It is those feelings of life devotion and adoration bordering on worship between a man and a woman. And for that, I will always find life for.
* * * *
The light of dawn crept through the glass windows and through the blinds, filtering softly into my room. The warmth caressed my face, but filled me with reluctance to awaken fully. I shifted so I faced the opposite wall, pulling the sheets around me further, more then ready to fall deeper into sleep. And sleep I did.
I walked through the field, smiling warmly at the clear blue sky and watched as the grass danced in the wind around me. The field was empty, save nature and I, and I did not feel lonely. I knew this place, and I loved it. The birds have sung here, the rabbits lived here, and it was unadulterated nature.
And suddenly the wind picked up, the sky darkened, and the grass so green turned awfully brown. The life around me seemed sucked away, and I watched helpless to what happened about me. Horror washed over me as—
"Bells!" I sat up in bed, still shaken from my dream, but watched as my father stood before me. "You were supposed to have gotten up twenty minutes ago! What on Earth are you doing?"
"I'm sorry Dad. I fell back asleep," I said sheepishly, looking at him under my eyelashes.
"That's alright Hon, dress up and meet me downstairs for breakfast. Wait—I actually have to leave for the station soon, but I did make breakfast for you. It must be cold by now. Just run it through the microwave." Charlie walked over to me, kissed my forehead, and murmured "goodbye". He left and closed the door behind him.
"Bye…" I whispered, knowing he was already gone. I got up, dressed, and took the stairs two at a time to the living room. The news was still on, so I switched the television off and went to the kitchen, heating up the eggs and bacon Charlie had cooked for me. Ten minutes later, I headed out to leave for school.
* * * *
Traffic was few as I drove through the town, heading north to Forks High School. My car filled with music. One of my favorite songs came on.
Everybody sees its you.
Im the one that lost the view.
Everybody says were through.
I hope you havent said it too.
So where do we go from here,
With all this fear in our eyes?
And, where can love take us now?
Weve been so far down.
We can still touch the sky.
If we crawl
til we can walk again
Then well run
Until were strong enough to jump.
Then well fly
Until there is no end.
So lets crawl, crawl, crawl
Back to love.
Yeah, back to love, yeah.
Why did I change the pace?
Hearts were never meant to race.
Always felt the need for space.
And now I cant reach your face.
So where are you standing now?
Are you in the crowd of my faults?
Love, cant you see my hand?
I need one more chance.
We can still have it all.
So well crawl
til we can walk again.
Then well run
Until were strong enough to jump.
Then well fly
Until there is no end
So lets crawl, crawl, crawl
Back to love.
Yeah, back to love, yeah.
Everybody sees its you.
Well I never wanna lose that view.
So well crawl
til we can walk again.
Then well run
Until were strong enough to jump.
Then well fly
Until there is no end.
So lets crawl, crawl, crawl.
So well crawl
til we can walk again.
Then well run
Until were strong enough to jump.
Then well fly
Until there is no end.
So lets crawl, lets crawl, lets crawl
Back to love.
This song was touching, filled with hope of getting back together, but for me, this was different. I've never had anyone I could say that I fell in love with. But I wished I could. I want to find love, find the view of someone to love. I know, I know, I'm a hopeless romantic. I've had the chance to go out with someone, but I declined. I'm waiting for the right person. The one who will take the time to know me. Someone who comforts me, stays by me through good and bad. Someone who makes my insides, my whole self tingle, just from their touch or their gaze upon me. I sighed and turned off the radio when yet another love song came on.
* * * *
The buildings of Forks High School came into view; the brown bricks, dull windows, and blue numbered door of each section. I was not the only one late, but I knew this was no excuse. Stepping out of my silver Prius, I closed the door behind me and jogged to the main building. Mrs. Cope was very friendly towards me, I knew for certain she'd give me a late pass. This is after all, the first time I have ever been late. I came to a slow walk as I went through the doorway.
Mrs. Cope was on her computer, and looked up at me as I came in."Ahh, Bella, this is something I thought I'd never see." I knew I was alright when she gave me a smile with a twinkle in her eye. I blushed before replying.
"I slept in. I apologize Mrs. Cope." I looked her in the eye, " is there any chance I may have a late pass?"
"Yes you may my dear, I know this is not your usual." Already signing one, she handed the yellow pass to me and wished me a nice day. I hope I have a nice day. Already it is less normal then usual. I left the office as the few others came in, and was back into the cold. I breathed in though my mouth and out through my nose, streams of air coiling out in front of me. I'm surprised at the lack of snow, the temperature is low enough, but the precipitation is just not happening.
At the door of building three, I entered and walked down the hallway to my Government class. Mr. Riley was already teaching, his hands moving with the speech of his mouth, apparently lecturing the class. I looked to my fellow classmates and noticed their bored expressions. Great, I thought, it's "late to class" lecture day. As quietly as I could, moved to sit in my chair, not wanting to be made an example of. No such luck.
"Miss Swan! How nice of you do display the perfect rendition of this lecture! Class, if you could see--"
"Mr. Riley," I interrupted, moving now from my path to sit, to the teacher up front, "here. I am excused, late, but not tardy. I may not be used for your example, unless you wish to make a false example out of me." He took the pass, saw the signature and resigned, but still looked sternly at me. I turned and finally was able to sit down.
"So, Bells, what really happened this morning?" Jasper looked at me grinning. He knows me too well.
"Nothing really, I slept in."
"Tsk, Tsk. Bells! I'm disappointed in you! And what did Charles have to say to that?"
"Jazz! I told you not to call him that! He just told me to get up when he saw me sleeping. It's not like he's mean or anything." I looked at Jasper, taking him in. He wore a tight red shirt, with dark washed jeans. "So how is Rose doing? I heard she flipped on some poor defenseless kid in the mall last night!" He proceeded to tell me the details. Apparently, a fifteen year old boy came up to her and used some pick up lines on her. I laughed; I knew exactly how she would have taken that. And laughed harder as my thoughts were true.
"She turned to him fully and totally destroyed his self-esteem. I swear," he laughed,"he shrunk in size! Rose commented on every little flaw about him. She was really pissed too. You should have seen his face!"
For the rest of class, we chatted quietly and did our work. I had the three remaining periods with Jasper until lunch. He was in only one of my afternoon classes. The bell rang, and we were off to math, Mr. Varner.
* * * *
Class ended with Mrs. Hagherty wishing us a fine rest of the day. Math and English had flown by fast, the work done and the rest of the time had been spent talking. Jasper and I walked with Angela to Gym. Jazz had Coach Meeker, Angela and I had Coach Clapp. Jazz strolled off to the boy's locker room, meeting up with Ben. "Ang, aren't you going to say hello to your boyfriend?" I asked looking over at Ben, then back to her and smiling broadly.
"Oh, stop Bella. I'll see him in a few. What about Jasper? Are you just going to let him walk off?"
I gave her a hard look."Ang, where just friends, best friends and the relationship is purely platonic."
"But you like him." The conversation continued, unfortunately for me, in the locker room as we changed into shorts and the required gym shirt.
"No I don't. At least, not more than a best friend should. Switch topic please?"
"Fine. So...I'm going over to Ben's tonight. Stop that Bella, we are not doing anything. I'm going to cook dinner for his family. Mr. and Mrs. Cheney love me." Don't I know it. "What about you?" We started running the warm-up laps around the gym. Ahead of us, Jazz was talking to Ben seriously. Mike was jogging carefully behind them, following after him, his pursuing band of fake girls. I could hear Stanley's and Mallory's high pitched, nasally laughter from here.
"I don't know Ang." I said, still looking ahead. Jessica tried to speed up in order to touch Mike, but failed. "Probably cooking for Dad and reading, doing homework."
"Goodness Bella, we need to find you a man." I glanced at her. She was wiggling her light brown eyebrows. "How about Newton?" She said, nodding her head in the direction of Mike. "I saw you watching him."
"No, I was watching the bimbos make a fool of themselves."
"Sure, you were. Well, maybe something might happen with the new family coming to town tomorrow. Two guys and a lady. Perhaps one will be your 'soul mate'."
Wait, what?