Author's Note: Yahallo, just a quick explanation of this story, this is an attempt to write an Clannad style 'after story' for Oregairu based on a extrapolation of how things are, after the end of the second season of the Anime and Chapter 11 of the Light Novel. In my version of events, Hikigaya enters a relationship with Iroha, this causes a big rift between him, Yui and Yukino. Now ten years down the line he has not spoken to them since, but is now married to Iroha and has a daughter with her. We join him as he waits for Iroha on the anniversary of their marriage.
This is still a bit of an experiment in taking a concept and running with it, rather than a proper story. As I know I've not got the characterisation down right, it's proven harder than I imagined to balance the people they were and the people they would become. It also ended up being much longer than I planned, but I hope you all enjoy it and post any thoughts in your reviews. I might write more if people enjoy it. (Edit: I'll also sort out the names and honourifics.)
My After Story SNAFU
I sat in the high class restaurant waiting for her, waiting for my wife to show up for our anniversary dinner. I glanced at the clock and saw that it had been already been well over an hour since I'd arrived. The staff looked at me dubiously, probably thinking I was some delinquent as I swirled the ice cubes around my drained glass. I let out a sigh and my phone rang, it's unpleasantly cheerful tone causing the other diners to glare at me and with a blushed fumble I pulled it out of my pocket to answer the call.
"Hi ya darling," came a drunk high pitched voice. "I'm so sorry but I won't be able to make it tonight, the function went on waaay longer than I thought it would. Soooo I'm really sorry but I won't make our dinner, sorry again, love you byeeeee." Her slurring voice and the sound of drunken merriment cut off as she hung up without an answer. I wasn't surprised at this, her work for the local government often kept her out late with long meetings and social events. Events that often seemed to lead to her getting very drunk with her clients and colleagues, then coming home at stupid hours. She'd explained to me these were vital part of modern business, making connections and establishing partnerships. I stared without feeling at the smiling face on my phone, before the phone went on standby and the image of Iroha blinked out.
I looked at the empty place opposite and sighed, there was no point in staying here and places this fancy never served decent filling food. They were more places to be seen eating at, rather than places to sate your hunger, probably why Iroha had chosen it. I paid for my lonely drink and headed out, away from the pitying looks of the staff.
I walked into the cold Chiba night and meandered to a random dive of a bar, ordering something cheap to null any remaining senses. I stared about at the near empty bar, the few other drinkers looking like reflections of myself and the young barman tapping on his phone in boredom. A television silently played the latest sports news and I smiled at the girlish tennis champion as he smiled at the cameras. Looking into the bottom of the glass I contemplated my marriage. I knew I should feel angry at Iroha for this, but her work was important to future of Chiba and as a result, very time consuming. It took a lot out of her and she often came home late and exhausted. We barely spent any free time together these days and I was worried about how little time she spent with our daughter. I had been hoping to use tonight to talk to Iroha about my concerns, try and patch things up a bit before it got any worse. I didn't like looking it the void of the future or dredging up the darkness of the past, preferring to I kept my mind focussed on the present. Focused almost exclusively on my daughter, I refused to be the absent deadbeat dad of so many stories, even if it meant I was a house husband.
The term house husband brought with it the twinge of old wounds, I shrugged away the unpleasant memory, forcing my mind back to the light of the present. At least in the present I had my little Homura, who lit up my life with her bright smile and energetic termination to do whatever crazy thing she could think of. I would say she did nothing wrong, but she was five, she was always up to some kind of mischief. I hoped she wasn't causing auntie Komachi too much trouble tonight, but I still worried that they were up far too late playing games or watching cartoons. The alcohol was making me melancholic, it had been 10 years since school, six years since the wedding and five years since Homura arrived. Time had flown by, I had been too focused on the here and now to notice it flitter away from me.
I downed a few more drinks, but I wasn't really in the mood for drinking, but I thought I should since I was taking up space in the bar. My empty stomach was making the alcohol go to my head and I resolved to go out and find something to eat before I wrecked myself. Leaving the warmth of the bar, I searched for a cheap ramen place and strolled down the road looking at the closed shops. A comic book shop was announcing a signing event by some local authors, the authors faces grinned on the poster as they struck poses, making the camera flash reflect off their glasses. I amused myself with the thought of their rival shounen and boy love fan bases, jostling for space within the small shop. Carrying on, my feet sluggish as I rounded a corner to the sound of raised voices. In distance wrapped in shadow, two people were arguing, a bar woman standing firm and a drunk stumbling hard.
"Sir, would you please leave, we're just about to close and honestly you've had more than enough for tonight." She said in an exasperated voice.
"I'll decide when I've had enough," He slurred and pushed her aside. But she quickly moved to block his path, sending him reeling as he lost his balance. "Get the fuck out my way, bitch," he growled as he righted himself ready to charge forward.
"Oi," I yelled, summoning all my drunken bravado. "She said leave," but he ignored me and stuck his hand out to push her away again, which landed on her sizeable left breast.
"Let, go of me, sir" she bristled, using every last bit of restraint.
"Hoho, hello," he grinned, his bloodshot eyes wide with lust.
"Get your fucking hand off her," I yelled even louder, stumbling forward to stop him. But my moment of knightly chivalry was cut short as the woman yelled and the drunk groaned, crumbling downward as her fist slammed into his stomach.
"Thanks," she said as I staggered up to her, she flexed her fingers as she looked down with disgust at the human wreckage groaning on the floor.
"I didn't do anything," I laughed, "You look like you have the situation well under control." Looking at the prostrate figure on the ground as it tried to stand and failed.
She laughed coldly, "still it was nice to know I had some..." She suddenly stopped her voice quivering on the last word as she took a step backwards.
"Hik-ki?" She stammered in a barely audible whisper. I looked up puzzled as my drink dulled brain started to recognise the voice, moving out of the shadows, the neon light from the bar highlighted an exceptionally pretty face with garish colours. My brain crashed with thoughts banging into each other, searching for the right thing to say as I looked into her large glistening eyes. Eventually I managed to stutter out her name, "Y...Yui?"
Her smile cut into me as she raised her hand to my cheek, stroking my stubble as if checking I was really there. The warmth of her soft hand was intoxicating against my cold skin and I had to fight to keep my mind clear.
"Yui!" A harsh voice hurtled out of the bar door, ripping us out of the moment. "Where the hell are you?"
"Uhh ahh," Yui's head snapped to the door and back to me in panic. "I'll be there in a minute," she yelled.
"Hurry up, these tables need cleared and the chairs stacked," came the voice again cutting the night air. Yui's head snapped between the door and me, looking with pleading, tear filled eyes, searching for a solution.
I was so shocked at the look of desperation in her eyes that I had to look away, unsure of what to do or say. I glanced up the street and saw the lights of Ramen shop steaming in the cold, my stomach growled at the sight and I stammered to Yui. "Tell you what, I'll err, wait for you to finish your shift, find me up at that Ramen place."
Her eyes followed my outstretched hand and lit up like a pinball machine. That old sweet smile returned to her tired face and she clasped my hands together in hers. "Please wait for me Hikki, I'll try not to be too long."
"Don't worry I'll wait," I said with what I hoped was a reassuring smile and she smiled back mouthing a thank you, then turned and disappeared inside. I watched her wiggling bottom go inside, then with a sigh, turned and tripped over the fallen drunk.
I sat eating my Ramen without really noticing it, my brain was whirring with thoughts about Yui and what I was going to do once she arrived. Ancient rusted emotions and feelings ground into motion in my mind, trying to decide how to be with her. I thought about being smooth, shy, casual or cold, though I realised I knew I'd just end up looking like an arsehole. I was the one who made a big fuss about being 'genuine' all those years ago, so putting on an act was stupid and she'd probably be hurt by the fact that I'd even tried. I downed a cup of black coffee and ordered another, I needed to be sober for this and I was grateful for the feeling of caffeine cutting through into my clouded brain.
A sudden waft of freshly applied perfume momentarily overtook the smells of ramen and coffee. I could feel her standing behind me as she took a deep breath as a hand gingerly touched my shoulder. Yui swung onto the stool next to me, she adjusted her big white coat and straightened her short black skirt. I was surprised how little she had changed to be honest, her figure was a little fuller maybe and the barman's waistcoat accentuated her bosom. But she was still very much the Yui, I remembered. The main difference was in her eyes, though sparkling with happiness at the moment, she looked very tired and from more than just the late shift at work. I could tell she'd neatened up her hair and hurriedly applied some make up before coming here, though I didn't think she'd needed to.
Yui blushed as she saw me checking her out and said, "Thank you so much for waiting Hikki. I was so scared that you'd be gone by the time my boss let me go."
"I said I would wait," I smiled trying to be more relaxed than I felt.
"It's, good to see you." She said awkwardly, stammering her order of coffee, as I searched for a neutral topic of conversation to start our unexpected reunion off.
"So was everything okay at work, you didn't get in trouble for punching that guy?" I chuckled. She blushed brightly, "its fine, he's a regular and is always like that. The manager just threw him in taxi and sent him home, but he always comes back the following night."
"I'll be surprised if he comes back after that whack you gave him, where did learn a move like that?" I asked raising an eyebrow.
"From Shizuki Sensei," she grinned as my stomach muscles clenched involuntarily at the memory. "She taught me how to do it on our last day of school, ordering me to use it on you if I ever saw you again." She said casually before looking straight at me with an evil grin, her fist slowly closing as it readied to strike. My eyes went wide and I shifted away from her on my stool. She held the manic grin for a moment, before breaking into a burst of laughter saying, "oh, I'm just kidding, Hikki," then tapped me playfully on shoulder.
Sensei's ordered hit on me didn't surprise me, she had taken the collapse of the Service Club probably harder than anyone. The third year had been tough as she became increasingly ill-tempered and once we left Komachi said she had become the most feared teacher in school. My personal theory was that she had been living a manga inspired high school romantic dream through us and I had destroyed it. She probably still cursed my name and I still got jumpy at the sound of speeding sports cars.
"I probably deserve it after the shit I pulled." I laughed hollowly.
Yui looked at me sadly, "Still playing the bad guy Hikki, I'm as much to blame as you. I was the one that forced everything into motion because of... because I was only thinking of myself."
"We all messed up Yui, we all could have fixed things if we'd just talked, you, me," I sighed, "and Yukino." Yui flinched at the sound of Yukino's name, I could see tears glistening on her eyes as she looked away from me.
"I guess, but it still hurts," She said quietly. "I lie awake at night thinking about how things could have been, how it could so easily have been better if I just said or done something."
I put a hand on her shoulder in a pathetic attempt to comfort her. "I have those thoughts all the time, but then I look at my daughter Homura and know I have to keep moving forward day by day."
Yui muttered with a sad laugh, "and I thought your sister complex was bad."
"Hey, I was being serious," I cried with mock astonishment.
"I know, sorry, I was just trying to lighten the mood. I'd promised myself if I ever met you again I wouldn't dwell on the past, but here I am dragging us back into it." She smiled sadly and added quietly. "You're lucky to have someone like Homura to keep you going."
It hurt to see that once joyful face, wrecked by the pain that I had caused, as we looked at our hands the conversation faltered. I finished my now cold coffee, stood up and stretched. "Would you like me to walk you home?" I offered holding out a hand.
She dried her eyes and forced a smile, "Why Hikigaya," she cried in a mock high class voice. "You're a married man, what would people think seeing you be so bold as walk a young lady home?"
"They would think that maybe she'd prefer to walk home by herself?" I snapped back, a little harsher than I intended.
"No, no Hikki," she exclaimed in panic. "You can you know, walk me home if you want, it'd be nice." She looked down mumbling, her cheeks flushing as she fidgeted with embarrassment.
We left the warmth of the ramen shop and Yui led the way, pulling her coat tight. The silence became increasingly awkward as you wandered through the cold streets, searching for something to talk about. I asked her how the bar work was going in hope of dragging any conversation away from the past.
"It's okay," she sighed quietly, "I'm only doing it to get some extra money together to go to an adult education college. You know the community centre, I help out there and I was thinking of getting some qualifications to do it professionally. I was, going through a bad patch and Saki suggested it to help get me going again." Seeing her tired eyes it worried me to hear that this was her on the way back up. The guilt of knowing it should have been me helping her instead of Saki, as well as knowledge that it was probably me that caused it, burned inside. But to hear her sounding progressive made me glad, hopefully this college would help her move forward.
"That's good to hear, going to college sounds like a great idea," I smiled encouragingly.
The talk of the Community Centre caused an image of Yui to pop into my memory. "Hey," I said brightly trying to keep the mood light. "I remember seeing a picture in the Community Newsletter of you recently." Her face lit up and she opened her bag and frantically rummaged around inside, eventually pulling out a dog eared booklet. She opened it straight on to a page with a photograph of a grinning Yui, surrounded by a mob of children. Looking slightly awkward amongst them was the tall thin figure of Saki, though I couldn't remember her surname, something to with motorbikes I think.
"Yeah I've been helping out there quite a bit recently, it feels good to be helping people again, really helped pick me up a bit. Though I noticed you've been helping out with the newsletter, writing articles and stuff." She smiled happily pointing at the opposite page, where an article on Chiba's eccentric history lay along with a dubious picture of me. I'd tried to look a mysterious rakish author, but I thought I just looked seedy. "It's nice to see you doing more than just being a house husband." She chuckled.
"Don't look down on my house husbandry, I'm very proud of my skills at maintaining a smart home and making sure Homura is growing up to be a proper young lady." I said with my head held high, which only made Yui laugh harder. Actually I was bored most of the time now that Homura was growing up and becoming more independent. I had recently realised that I'd need to do more with my life, especially since Homura would be starting school soon. After seeing an advertisement for writers in an old copy of the Community Newsletter, I had started penning articles on my beloved Chiba and they had happily published them. Not long after, my old school colleague Zaimokusa had contacted me asking for help with his work. So I'd ended up at first proof reading, then editing and now pretty much ghost writing his ridiculous stories. But his sales had increased not long after and he paid me a percentage in gratitude, it wasn't much but it kept Homura stocked with sweets. Before then I hadn't thought much about the future beyond the day to day chores, maybe it was time to look further forward, get some progression in my own life, even if it meant having to look back on it.
"I thought maybe it was time to loosen the apron strings a bit, it has felt good to be writing and as you said helping the community out." I told Yui. "I have felt like I could go further though, maybe I'll go to college myself, though I'm not sure what I'd study."
Yui's eyes sparkled with excitement, "Oh that would be great Hikki, let me know what you decide and we can arrange to go to the same place. Even if we're on different courses we can still hanging out at lunch and afterwards, it would be just like old times!"
The sheer enthusiasm of her response took me aback, but at the same time it was great to see her so happy about something again. Though I wondered whether going back to 'old times' would be good for her and good for me as well.
"Well I can't guarantee it'll happen, it was just a thought, I don't want you messing up your course because you're waiting for me." I quickly added, trying to calm her before she got her hopes up too high.
"I know, I won't, it's just, it would be nice." She said quietly, not meeting my eye.
"It would," I admitted with a smile, "I'll let you know what I come up with."
She smiled warmly and her mood in general seemed lighter, I felt I probably would end up going to college, if only to keep that smile on her lips. The general mood brighter we chatted amiably as we walked, most of my side of the conversation was about Homura, who was pretty much my entire life these days, so the only thing I could talk about. Being far more social, Yui's topics were on a far wider range, from her jobs and some of our old comrades from school, though noticeably avoiding any mention of Yukino or Iroha.
My feet were starting to ache and the cold was getting into my bones, how long had we been walking? "Hey, how much further is it to your place?" I asked whilst rubbing my hands together.
"Erm, ahh," Yui blushed and looked at her feet. "We kind of past it a while ago, but I was enjoying talking to you so much, that I kind of forgot to mention it." Her voice trailed off and I couldn't help but smile at her how cute she looked when embarrassed.
"Some lady you are, taking advantage of one's chivalrous nature," I said in a knightly tone.
"Oh I'm so sorry Sir Hikki, please forgive this foolish lady." She said with a laugh and stuck her tongue out.
"I will if you tell me where the hell are we?" I said looking about.
"You tell me, you're Mister Chiba." Yui replied with mock exaggeration as her eyes snapped to something behind me, before carrying on their search. I turned to see what she had seen and froze at the sight of a familiar large luxurious apartment building further down the street. Yui looked at me with a nervous expression and followed my gaze to the top floor apartment.
"Do you know if she still lives there?" I asked without looking away.
"Last time I saw her she was, but that was quite some time ago," Yui replied sadly.
"We could see if she's in, I suppose?" I said, trying to sound casual to cover my nerves. "You know since we're in the neighbourhood."
"I don't know," Yui shook her head. "We didn't exactly separate on the best of terms and I've no idea how she'll react to you." I looked up again at her apartment, the lights were on but from this angle I couldn't see inside. But as we walked closer, as if summoned a figure walked out on to the balcony. Even from this distance her tall slender figure cut a striking figure in the dark, a white dress augmented her pale skin to contrast sharply with her long black hair that whipped about in the cold north wind. Yui made a small gasp as Yukino leaned against the rail starring into the night sky, looking so alone that it made me nervous. I think Yui had the same thought as she looked at me with worried eyes, in a whisper she said. "We could at least try, you never know she might answer."
I pondered our options, looking up at the distant figure as she put her fingers through her hair. "Well it won't hurt to try," I sighed and mustering my strength, took a hard step towards the building. Yui took a quick step to catch up with me and I was startled to find her hand slipping into mine, her grip tightened as if trying to draw on my strength. I tried not to lose myself in the sweet warmth of her small hand and pushed myself forwards towards the ground floor entrance. With a deep breath I pressed the intercom buzzer for Yukino's apartment, it beeped loudly in the still night air, but there was no answer. My heart was hammering and Yui was shaking, ready to bolt at any second. I pressed it again and we both leaned forward towards the receiver, this time there was a click followed by a tired voice that said, "What is it?"
Yui spoke timidly, "Hi, Yukino, it's Yui, I was..."
I thought I heard a faint startled 'Yui?' Followed by a click as the intercom hung up.
"She, she hung up!" stammered Yui as tears started to form in the corners of her eyes.
"Let me try," I insisted with a tone that I hoped sounded authoritative and slammed the button again.
"Look Yui, I..." came the tinny voice.
"Yukino listen its Hikigaya." My name was echoed on the other end in a frightened tone, but I charged on regardless, "Yui and I, we were passing and saw you up on your balcony. We were worried if you were okay, is it alright if we can come up?" There was agonisingly long silence, then a faint muttering before Yukino forced out, "okay, I'll open the door." The door buzzed open and we headed into the lift, riding swiftly up to Yukino's floor. I tried to give Yui a supportive smile, but her nerves were in tatters and her smile back looked more like a grimace.
The door opened as we approached and Yukino stood there straightening out her rumpled evening dress, trying to compose herself.
"Please come in," she said formally and we thanked her, apologising for the intrusion as we removed our shoes and entered the spacious apartment. Yukino motioned us to sit stiffly and we awkwardly sat down on a black leather couch not knowing what else to do. Yukino moved gracefully into the kitchen to make some tea, but her nervousness showed as the sounds of clattering crockery and dropped cutlery came through the door. I was thinking of checking on her, when she emerged with forced steadiness, carrying a tray of two mugs, a cup and a teapot. She filled the mugs and passed them to us before sipping from her own cup. I looked at the familiar black Pan-San mug wondering if it was my old one, though I suspected Yukino probably had a cupboard full of Pan-San merchandise. She saw me analysing the mug, "It is yours Hikigaya, I thought I'd hold on to them." She said in a cool voice before adding, "Just in case," in a whisper that brought a tinge to her cheeks. Yui looked at her mug in surprise, the faded picture of a dog still pointing its nose at her, "I had wondered what happened to these, I even went looking but they were gone."
Yukino smiled, the familiar blue and white tea cup shaking slightly in her long fingers. She stood looking down at us, swaying as if she was too nervous to sit down and politely engaged in small talk. I was more than a little unnerved by Yukino asking me in a friendly fashion about Homura and what Yui had been up to. Yui was clearly unsettled by Yukino's tone as well, but managed to form answers and ask some polite ones about her in return. Though we found it almost impossible to find out anything about what she'd been doing for the last ten years, the only answers Yukino would give in any detail were about her plans for the future. Also Yukino was much more interested in our plans for the future and she seemed less than impressed by the vagueness of our answers. Yui struggling for things to say started talking excitedly about her plans to go college. Though Yukino was initially supportive, when Yui mentioned that I might be joining her, Yukino became noticeably upset, even though she was trying to hide it.
Yukino switched track and started asking me about my plans for Homura's future, I discussed the schools I had visited and which I thought would be best for her. Yukino seemed pleased with my thoroughness, but less so when she asked about Iroha's views on her daughter's education and the general lack of involvement that she had. She then asked in detail about what Iroha was up to these days, Yui though interested as well, seemed very unnerved by Yukino's interrogative tone. In fact it was beginning to irritate me and I was about to call her out on it, when Yukino got the point in a sharp tone.
"So can you two tell me, how come you are out this late at night, together?" Yukino said in an imperious tone with a threatening emphasis on the word 'together'. Before either of us could reply she rapidly continued, "I was very surprised to see you two, together, especially you Hikigaya. I'd thought you'd have more important things to be doing today with," she paused to steady her increasingly quavering voice, "your wife." The venom in the last line hit me hard and Yui looked at me with wide scared eyes, suddenly wondering the same thing.
Yukino's eyes turned on Yui, who shrank back clutching her mug for support. "I am just as shocked at you Yui," Yukino spat. "I didn't think you were that kind of woman, I thought you were better than that, even if it was with him."
"I've never done anything like that!" Screamed Yui so suddenly that even Yukino seemed slightly taken a back. "I swear I hadn't even remembered it was their anniversary until literally just now. I swore to myself I'd never do that kind of thing, if that's what you think of me. Also I'm sure Hikki had no intentions towards me, at least I don't think he did, did you Hikki?" Yui looked at me with angry tears, her face contorting with conflicting emotions. Her question hanging in the air above me, as I struggled to contain my own anger as I glared at Yukino.
"Yukino," I said with growl as I struggled to stop myself from yelling, "I thought, you were above these kind of vindictive baseless accusations, for your information I was to meet Iroha tonight, but she couldn't make it. I bumped into Yui and we talked for a bit, before coming here, that is all." My voice snapping with finality of my points. "I've never seen either of you as that kind of women, heck I drank enough black coffee tonight to sober up a baseball team, to make sure I didn't do anything like that with Yui. When things have been bad recently, I've been wanting to talk to you two so bad, but I was worried I would be weak enough to let things go that way. You two are both far better than some bit on the side, especially to an idiot like me."
There was a long silence and I realised I'd probably said way too much, even if I had no idea what to say next. Yui's knees were under her chin as she looked down into her empty mug, trying to stop me from seeing the expression in her with red rimmed eyes. Yukino was shaking, her face hidden behind her long hair, as sobs began to emerge from her throat. There was so much anger bottled up in her, she was clearly unable to stop her rage.
"Explain to me Hikigaya, why Iroha isn't with you, right now. Why aren't you having a romantic dinner for two, why isn't she by your side, why is she acting like a complete drunken slut at the Chiba Business Partnership Community Dinner?" Yukino screamed, her eyes wild and red with anger.
"Yukino," I cut in as I controlled myself with heavy breathing, "Iroha works very hard with many late nights, it's okay for her to let her hair down once in a while. Also it's not her fault that an important business function happened to be on our anniversary."
"Ha," Yukino laughed blackly, "Yes she works very hard late at nights, I'm sure."
"Yukino!" Yui shouted as my fist clenched, "You can't say that about someone, even her!"
"Don't defend that, that harlot, Yui," screamed Yukino back. "You haven't seen her so drunk she barely stand, flirting with her clients, laughing at..."
"Yukino!" I said, standing so I could bring myself face to face. "Iroha is just using her charm to broker deals and establish business connections. You know how it works, you're in same busine..."
She moved so fast I felt the slap before I heard it. My vision swam as stars exploded in my eyes, the pain seared up my face as I heard Yui whimper. Through heavy breaths Yukino spat, "I am not like, her," as she towered over me with eyes ablaze. I was too stunned to say anything and the only sound came from Yui curled in a distressingly tight ball muttering, "Please don't," over and over. Yukino turned her head slowly to look at the sound and all the anger went out of her in a second. She looked from Yui, to me, to her reddening hand in shock and then dashed into the kitchen her face in her hands.
I stood for there for what felt like an eternity, eventually I came to my senses walked stiffly over to Yui. Who was still hugging her knees, her face hidden in shadow, as uncontrollable sobs rocked her. She flinched as I lightly touched her back. "It'll be okay, Yui," I said in a shaken voice. "I'll sort things out." She uncurled and looked at me with eyes like a frightened child. Her tear filled gaze pierced my heart, before she wordlessly curled back again and carried on crying.
I entered the kitchen to find Yukino robotically trying to make some tea, but she was shaking far too hard to do it. She was about to spill boiling water over her hands, when I placed my hand on the kettle's handle to steady it. She didn't protest as gently took it away and started making the tea myself, while she stood there locked in position.
"Yukino," I said in a calm voice. "I'm sorry for what I said, I didn't mean to imply that you were like that, I'd never in a million years think you were."
"I know," she said with a deflated sigh, "I know, you didn't, I just, oh god I'm so sorry for, for..." She turned away to hide her face.
"It's okay Yukino, I've had far worse. Look is clearly been a bad day for you. If you want I'll leave and we can talk about this another day, you know with clearer heads."
"No!" She shouted in panic, before calming herself to continue, "If you leave now with things like this, I'll never have the strength to talk to you again. I shouldn't have said those things about Iroha, you won't understand what it's like seeing her like that, I couldn't tell if she was laughing at me or that I was going crazy."
I was wondering how best to respond when a small voice said, "Yukino?" Yui was peering around the door her red eyes made Yukino gulp. "I kind of understand how you feel, a while back Iroha, came into my bar with some colleagues. She was laughing and having fun, but it felt like she was laughing at me, even though I'm sure she wasn't."
Yukino smiled weakly and Yui looked at me asking. "Hikki, could you give me and Yukino a minute, I want to talk to her, in private?"
"Of course," I said uncertainty, "I'll wait out there." Yui smiled with thanks, touching my shoulder as I walked out of the kitchen.
I stood there on my own feeling awkward and felt way too jumpy to just sit down. It wasn't like I was oblivious to how Iroha was and Yukino's claims had certainly crossed my mind on more than one occasion. Though Iroha could be incredibly charming towards men, she also had uncanny ability to rub other women up the wrong way. At family based work events I wasn't blind to the envious looks from her male colleagues and the pitying looks from her female ones. I wasn't sure if Iroha had been mocking Yukino and Yui, I couldn't say that she definitely hadn't. She had liked to parade our relationship during the third year at school and was a major factor in things falling apart in Service Club, even though I tried my hardest to convince Iroha to stop it.
I slowly looked around the room, though still spartan, there were a few more pictures and other homey touches. Most of them featured cats in some way, including a picture of my old cat Kamakura, though I'd no idea where had she got it from. I smiled at picture of me, Yui and Yukino, which stood proud on the mantelpiece. A duplicate of one I also had at home on my desk and no doubt sat somewhere at Yui's as well. I picked it up for a closer look, Yui's big smile grinned out from those happier times, whilst Yukino smiled awkwardly and I just looked like a creep that had wandered into frame. Alongside were a few pictures of Yukino and her family, the older ones looked more sombre, but I was glad to see her looking happier in more recent photos. I hoped that meant things were better between them, I thought of asking, but I felt Yukino had been through enough today to risk dragging up anything else.
I noticed the community newsletter lying on the table and casually flicked through it, amusing myself at the strange world of Chiba. I could hear heated whispers coming from the kitchen, from the hissed mentions of mine and Iroha's names I could guess the context, but couldn't understand the words as they seemed to settle on something and head into the front room.
"I'm glad at least someone reads that," said Yukino with a smile. She looked calmer now and it was nice to see that smile again, even it was as fragile as bone china.
"Well it does have the best writers," I joked back trying to force a friendly mood. The atmosphere in the room was so delicate, one wrong word might destroy our bond forever. I just hoped by acting the fool I could hold us together, if you could even me being a fool acting.
"Yeah ones that barely meet their deadlines." She snapped back lightly.
"I didn't know you helped with the newsletter too, Yukino" said Yui trying her best to be happy, though her voice cracked and her red eyes were surrounded by a ruin of makeup.
"Well I help out with administrative work when I can, though it would be easier if certain staff kept to their schedules." Yukino said with a theatrical glare.
"Hey, if I had known it was you cracking the whip, I'd have double timed it." I said back with a laugh.
"Well you can start by double timing that article due by the end of the week, Hikigaya." Yukino said authoritatively as Yui stuck her tongue out at me. "As for you Yui, can I finally have the details and permission slips for the outing you've insisted on, I've been waiting on them all week."
"Yes mam," I dramatically saluted, with Yui following suit whilst still sticking her tongue out. Yukino put her head in her palm and shook her head. "Come along children," she sighed, "sit down and have some tea before it gets cold."
We sat on the couches, the mood was definitely lighter, but it felt forced and strained as the small talk petered out.
"Look," said Yukino gazing down at her fidgeting hands. "I need to ask you two something and I don't want anyone to get upset, I just, need to know for sure. Just what were you two doing out so late?" Yukino said it in a calm voice, but her face was scared of the answer, "I'm not saying you two are doing anything untoward. Just how long have you been regularly meeting up, even if it's just for friendly chat about things, like we used to, only without..." Her voice started to croak as she cut herself short.
"No Yukino, this is the first time I've met Yui since leaving school," I said blunty trying to keep things straight and concise.
"Really?" She said hopefully.
"Really" said Yui, stilling Yukino's hands with her own. "I've seen Hikki at a distance once or twice, but today was the first time I've spoken to him since school too."
I wondered when Yui had seen me, but shook it away. "Let me explain the whole night, just to clear up any confusion. I was waiting for Iroha at a restaurant when she phoned to say she, as you know, was at that function. I then had a few drinks and ran into Yui beating up a drunk."
Yukino glared at me thinking I was mocking her.
"I was not beating up a drunk," proclaimed Yui aghast, her face bright red. "I only hit him once because he groped me and it was Sensei Punch so it wouldn't have hurt him, much."
Yukino stared at Yui incredulously, then suddenly she burst out laughing. Yui and I looked at each other, slightly scared to see Yukino laughing so hard that she doubled over. Yukino calmed herself and said through breaths, "Yui, you know full well that punch is only for use on Hikigaya." She raised an eyebrow at me with a smile that looked a little too much like our old sensei's for comfort.
Blushing Yui said, "I know, but when I came to do it, Hikki looked so sad and pathetic I couldn't, it'd been like kicking a puppy."
"Okay I forgive you, Yui," said Yukino looking at me with a sympathetic sigh, "but I don't think Sensei will accept that as an excuse." They both looked at me with mock sympathy as I mouthed protests and shook their heads.
We drank more tea and nibbled on some cookies as they made more jibes at my masculinity.
"I hope the cookies are okay, if I'd known you were coming I would have baked something, so I'm afraid these are store brought." Yukino apologised a little flustered as I studied one of the treats in my fingers.
"I wondered why they didn't taste as good as I remembered." I laughed causing Yukino to blush. "Though they're still better than Yui's."
Yui stuck her tongue out and retorted. "I'll have you know the children at the centre love my cookies and cakes, I dread to think of what you cook for poor little Homura."
"Homura loves my cooking and she gets plenty of healthy vegetables, with treats only when she's good." I said with a hand on my chest with pride at my house husbandry.
"I bet you spoil her rotten," replied Yui whilst mouthing 'daughter complex' to Yukino, who chuckled.
The mention of Homura made me check the time and I was shocked to see it was almost one in the morning. I downed the last of my tea and looked at the two women, worried about them taking my desire to leave the wrong way. They must have seen it on my face as they both stopped at looked at me with concern.
"I'm sorry," I started with a sigh. "But it's nearly one, you see Homura doesn't sleep well when I'm not there and Komachi will be wanting to sleep herself." Both women looked disappointed, but said that it was okay and they completely understood.
"But before I go can I," I paused wondering how to put it. "Can I have both your numbers, so I can get a hold of you so we can err, meet up again." I could feel my cheeks flush worried they would refuse, but both girls frantically searched for their phones before I'd even finished asking. We swapped numbers with each other and Yui commented, "You're so scandalous Hikki, asking not one, but two young ladies for their numbers." I rolled my eyes at her whilst Yukino chuckled.
Heading for the door, I slipped on my shoes and coat. Yui was deep in thought, then yawned dramatically and said, "I should probably head home too, I've got an early start at the centre. A certain someone has suddenly given me a lot of paperwork to do," trying to put some cheer on Yukino's distressed features.
Yukino looked down fidgeting, then straightened up to say. "If you don't mind, I could really do with some fresh air, would it be okay if I walked with you two a little way?"
"Of course Yukino," Yui said smiling and I added, "the more the merrier."
"Just hold on a second," Yukino stammered and dashed into her bedroom to change into something warmer. As Yui glanced in the mirror by the door, she saw the streaked remains of her makeup and shrieked, "Yukino, do you mind if I use your bathroom?" Before disappearing even before Yukino had given her consent. They both reappeared a few minutes later looking fresher and warmer, though the lack of makeup made Yui's eyes look more lined and tired, it was a lot better than the trails of tears. We headed out all wrapped up, heading down to the ground floor, into the chill of the Chiba night.
As we walked out the glass double doors, the wind hit us, followed by the sounds of the city's twilight hours. As we heard the roar of distant street race Yukino added, "Yes it's probably best we walk Hikigaya home. I've heard rumours that Sensei prowls the streets at night, I dread to think what she'd do if she caught him." Yukino gave me a look that belonged at campfire horror story and Yui giggled.
"I have a five year old, no woman is scarier than her." I said resolutely.
They both laughed, "I dunno you didn't see her," said Yui, "Sensei was terrifying on that last day."
"Oh I saw her," I replied with a fearful look, "I just made damn sure she didn't see me."
We all chuckled and talked about the lighter times of our lives at school. Before we knew it we were all standing outside my house, the front room light was still on and gave a welcoming glow. We looked awkwardly at each other again, not knowing how to say goodbye.
"Hey why don't you come in and warm up a bit, have some more tea." I offered as watched them rub their hands and chatter their teeth.
"I'm not sure," mumbled Yui, "I doubt Iroha will be happy to see us on the doorstep."
"She won't be back yet," I reassured Yui. "Homura should be asleep and I'm sure Komachi will be happy to see you."
They looked unsure, but followed anyway when I headed towards the front door. I eased the door open and peered inside, there was the quiet murmuring of the TV, but otherwise the house was silent. Slipping out of my shoes and coat I wandered into the front room, after taking off their shoes they followed nervously, eyes wide. In the front room amongst strewn toys, Komachi was dozing beneath a blanket, I walked over and casually flicked her forehead.
"Eh, ah, what." She stammered sleepily, waving away my finger. "Oh there you are brother, have a nice night?" She looked at me upside down then saw Yui and Yukino. Her eyes went wide and she span around, crashing to the floor in a tangle.
"Yui, Yukino?" She cried and shot forwards like a torpedo, grabbing them both into a big hug. They stood there squeezed together, looking more than little scared, but warmed as my sister squeezed. Letting them go she let loose a string of puzzled expressions before turning to me with a more serious look and asked where Iroha was.
"She is out at work function," I said simply and then gave a quick rundown of the night.
"We felt it best to walk him home," added Yukino. "In case it got into any more adventures."
"You don't half know how to make things exciting, brother, though it is great to see you two again." Sighed Komachi, before giving them another hug.
I cleared some toys away and motioned them to sit down, whilst Komachi made some drinks. Yui and Yukino sat there looking a little awkward, peering at the various photographs of Homura that I had covered the walls with. Just as we settled down a small sleepy voice, came from the door. "Daddy?" said a little face, which then yelled, "Daddy!" As Homura hurtled across the room and into my arms for a big hug. Yui's eyes were shinning and Yukino smiled with amusement, whilst Komachi rolled her eyes with a groan at the sight.
"What are you doing up so late, Auntie Komachi should have put you to bed hours ago?" I asked Homura whilst raising an eyebrow at my sister.
"I was, but I heard daddy and wanted a hug." Homura said methodically with a determined expression. She looked critically at Yui and Yukino, "who are you?" She asked bluntly.
"Now be polite Homura" said Komachi critically, "introduce yourself properly."
With a sigh Homura slid down my knee and stood in front of Yui and Yukino like she was at the front of class.
"Hello, my name is, Homura, I pleased to meet you." She clumsily pronounced.
Yukino clapped and hid her laughter behind her hand, whilst Yui's eyes shone so bright I'm amazed she could even see as she lifted Homura into her lap. Yui ruffled Homura's messy black hair and commented that you could tell she is a Hachiman, whilst flicking the ahoge that we shared.
"At least she didn't get her daddy's eyes," laughed Yukino as she peer closely at my daughter.
"My daddy has lovely eyes," said Homura beaming with pride.
"Oh, does he now," said Yukino failing to stifle a laugh. "I wonder how long he spent teaching you to say that."
"Nooo, she says all by herself." I lied with false innocence, to which Komachi barked a sarcastic laugh.
"Actually" said Yui assertively, "Hikki's eyes do seem different, definitely less, rotten as you liked to call it."
Yukino looked critically at my face, "Maybe you're right, I wonder what could have caused it?" She pondered looking at Homura with a smile.
Regardless of whether my eyes were still rotten or not, I was thankful that Homura had inherited her mother's big brown doe eyes, which cast a spell on everyone who looked into them. Yukino picked up a Pan-San doll that was lying on the floor, then began to talk with Yui and Homura about Pan-San, dancing the doll on her knee. Yui played with Homura's hair, trying different braids and bunches with a strangely melancholic smile.
"Great she's already got them enraptured," said Komachi, eyeing them reproachfully.
"You're just jealous that she has more Homura Points aleady, than you ever got in Komachi Points." I jibed, sending Komachi into deeper sulk muttering about daughter complexes. It was then someone's phone rang.
Yukino blushed as the Pan-San theme chimed from her handbag and pulled the phone out with a puzzled expression.
"Sis?" She asked with a frown. I could hear unintelligible babble on the other end, but Yukino answered, "No, the function was a bit much for me, so I went home. You know I'm not good at those things."
I could hear more babble before she responded with, "No, I'm fine now you don't need to come see me, I'm not home anyway."
Yukino's sister presumably asked where she was, to which she responded with trepidation. "I'm err, at Hikigaya's."
The cry of 'What!' was audible from here. Looking flustered, Yukino continued, "I'm at Hikigaya's with Yui, his sister..."
"And me!" Interjected Homura with glee.
"... and his daughter Homura," smiled Yukino ruffling Homura's hair. I heard some garbled shouting from Haruno and Yukino started fiddling with her phone, then pointed the screen at Homura. Haruno's flushed face flicked onto the screen and her eyes went wide as she looked at Homura through the camera.
"Oh my god, she's so cute," came a tinny voice as Homura blushed shyly and hid behind her Pan-San doll.
"Oh no Yukino," exclaimed Haruno, "You've already indoctrinated her into the Pan-San fan club."
"She was already a member," said Yukino stiffly as Homura made the doll wave.
Haruno looked behind her at the debris of the function, staff were clearing the tables whilst a few drunks lazed sleepily. She made a concerned face and asked if the phone could be handed to me. I took the phone and Haruno showed me a dozing Iroha, her dress askew as drool hung from her red lips. I sighed and asked Haruno, "Could you do me a huge favour and put her in a taxi, I'll pay him when they get here."
"Wow look how grown up and responsible you are, Hikigaya," said Haruno, which was retorted with a snort from Komachi. "Tell you what, I'll do one better," smiled Haruno, "my driver's coming to pick me up, I'll bring her over."
"Thanks so much," I said relieved and told her my address.
"Okay see you soon, Yukino and Yui stay there I'll give you a lift home." Haruno then waved and hung up.
"Right," I said standing up, "Haruno and Iroha are on their way, so does anyone want another tea or coffee while we wait?" There was general agreement and I put some drinks together, along with a cup of warm milk for Homura. I didn't expect her to sleep till her mother was home, but after all this excitement she would need help dozing off. The others chatted quietly and after a while Yukino wandered about looking at the photos on the walls, she looked down at my cluttered desk, nodding with approval at the notes for the article I was working on. Then smiled at the framed photograph of the three of us, which was identical to hers except for a long crack in the glass, caused by Iroha hurling it at me during an argument. She showed it to Yui who smiled fondly at it, before Homura distracted her back. I gave everyone their drinks and sipped mine until the lights of an approaching car lit up the room, heading outside to large black Mercedes that rumbled to a stop at the curb.
"Yahallo Hikki," came a drunken cry that split the night as Haruno clambered out unsteadily. "There is your bride," waving a hand Iroha who was spread out in ungainly fashion across the rear seat. The driver frowned at me as I slid Iroha out and carried her towards the front door.
"I hope she wasn't too much trouble, I sighed at Haruno as my wife murmured a slurred hello.
"Don't worry, my driver's used to it." Haruno laughed before crying, "Oh hello everyone," with a wave as she saw the others peering around the door. I carried Iroha inside and straight upstairs to general looks of disapproval from the three women and an excited 'mummy' from Homura who was being fussed over by Haruno. I heard the patter of tiny feet on the stairs as Homura followed me up, as she often liked to help me tuck her mother into bed. I brushed Iroha's hair off her face and with a smile kissed her forehead, before lifting up Homura to kiss her too.
It then time for Homura's bed time again, she waved goodnight to the assembled ladies and jumped into her little bed. She snuggled down as I kissed her on the forehead as well and wished her goodnight.
Returning downstairs I found them already outside waiting by the car which was idling, its lights glaring. Yui was whispering something to Yukino and though she looked unsure she agreed. They approached me as one in a movement that made me slightly nervous, it must have showed because they both grinned.
"Don't worry Hikigaya, we won't fulfil Sensei's request quite yet." Laughed Yukino as my stomach muscles relaxed. She took a deep breath and said, "I really am sorry for what I said earlier, I don't know what came over me, I hope you can forgive me."
"Its fine Yukino," I said with a friendly smile. "I think you needed to say it, the problems of the past were caused by us not talking. So don't feel bad about letting it out."
Yui nodded and followed with, "we've still got lots to talk about, so we will meet up again soon to talk it all over, right?"
"A joint Service Club request to sort this mess out?" I asked with a grin.
"Yes," they both laughed and with a glance at each other the both grabbed me in a big hug. I was very aware of their warm feminine bodies pressed up against me, especially when they both kissed me on the cheek. By the time we separated, we were all bright red and feeling very awkward. They got in the car still blushing and waving goodbyes, whilst Haruno laughed her arse off at us, I waved them goodbye as the car sped off into the night and went back inside.
"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Asked Komachi with worried expression.
"Do I ever?" I shrugged as we headed back inside.
"No and that's what worries me," sighed Komachi." You know how she feels about those two," glancing at the picture with the cracked glass.
"I'll try to make her understand," I said with a forlorn sigh. "The simple fact is they need me and quite frankly, I need them. If she can't accept that, then well I don't know." Komachi smiled grimly and I shook my head, "I'm too tired to be dealing with something of this level, so I'm heading to bed."
"Yeah, let's deal with this in the morning," Komachi sighed stretching her arms.
"Goodnight Sis," I smiled and ruffled her hair. She fought me off and flopped on to the sofa, yanking the blanket up.
"Night night bro, sweet dreams." She murmured sleepily. I laughed hollowly and headed upstairs. I lay there staring at the ceiling, it was going to take more than some magical lights to sort this mess out.