Whole

Everything is black. In facts, everything has been black for so long, so very long. Though, it felt as if it was normal a few minutes, moments... centuries... before. It feels like there is no time anymore, but the knowing of its passing stays. It exists, yet, it doesn't. Such a strange feeling. It's possible to feel and hear it flows. Yet, everything stays black, empty. But Time, with a big "T" fills this emptiness. And it's been quiet for so long...

"Wake up."

The emptiness trembles around something. Wait, I can feel that something. It's me. It's my conscience. I can feel myself. I can feel the darkness trembling around me. Yet, there is nothing solid here, nothing that could tremble. And it makes no sound. It shakes, but it doesn't make a noise. It's something terrible, though, something like a hidden beast about to jump at you and tear your throat apart, something that waits only to kill you. And what's even more terrible is the fact that it is everywhere, yet nowhere. You are in it as much as you are outside. It comes from everywhere, but from nowhere. It is and it is not. It has no shape, you can't see it. Still, you can feel its presence. In you, underneath your skin.

"Wake up."

Then, it growls violently around you. It feels like all this nothingness is shattering apart, which is illogical because something that doesn't exist can't break. Right? Yet, it is breaking apart and I feel like I am falling. Falling down incredible height, yet, I'm floating, I've been floating in this emptiness for ages. I've never felt like this before.

"Wake up, h..."

The voice. It's been there for so long, in me. It's the first time I hear it really. Is it the cause of this trembling?

"...Time."

You fall off into the distance. You feel you have a body for the first time in so long... How long? You feel panicked, you feel terrified. You are down, soaked but not wet. It feels like rain is pouring on you, yet it is not. A flash of gold surrounds you.

"... Of Time."

You wonder what they mean. Wait, you though "they". It means you know who they are. It means you know the voice isn't the one of a single person. Nor the one of your mind. You realise your thoughts has gone from "I" to "you". You don't understand. Not right away.

"Wak... p... ro... Time."

The words are mingling together, but the word "Time". It stays clear always. You wonder why. You wonder. And yet, that golden light reappears, but this time, it stays. It enters you, by everywhere. You feel raped, so terribly feeble. You open your mouth to breath. You can't. You realise you can feel your body. You can feel you have a body. A complete one. It's heavy, much heavier than what you remember. Wait, you remember.

"Asleep...our...ven... ear..."

And then the pain struck you. You scream, yell your heart out, but your lips doesn't even move. It's raping your veins, raping your mind, raping everything that is your being. You remember so many things you never experienced. You realises you don't understand the meaning of "rape", yet, you know what it is. You realise you don't understand the meaning of many words: sex, death, murder, terror, injustice, time. Yet, you know them. You know what they are.

"It is time."

For the first time, you hear their words with your ears. It is not in your head anymore, but coming from the outside. And from the first time, you realise you are kneeling. You are down on your hands and knees. Naked. Completely naked. You dare to open your eyes and you are shocked. You gasp. It is not your body anymore. It has grown. You are taller, apparently. You look to your left and see your shoulder, arm, forearm and hand. They are visibly more muscular, your hand much bigger, yet calloused from... From... You don't understand what, but you feel you know why. To your right, it is sensibly the same pattern of flesh, so you look down. And you spot hair that wasn't there before. You wonder what happened, yet you have the word "puberty" flashing in your mind. You don't know what it means, but you know that's the reason.

"Open your eyes."

They are. You think. Then you realise they're not. You feel your lids, they're heavy. You feel your body again, laying on your back, now. You aren't naked anymore. In fact, you are quite clothed, maybe a little too much. Your body doesn't feel heavy anymore. It rather feels flexible, just like before; you're growing accustomed to your new weight.

"Wake up, Link, Hero of Time."

And that's what you do. You finally open your eyes and you are standing, listening to their blabbering, yet, you can't hear. You are staring at your feet. At your hands. And you are thinking, thinking : "What happened...?"

"You slept for seven years."

You don't realise yet the impact of those words. You are unaware for the moment that these words are going to be part of your greatest nightmare. "Seven years..." You hear yourself say, yet you don't recognise your voice. You gasp. You bring your hands to your throat and you feel your eyes widen.

"Your body has changed. You are now an adult."

An adult? What does that mean? You don't understand, yet you know. Such a strange feeling that is...

And a few minutes later, you are back into the world you once knew. The difference? It's destroyed, it's ruined, you don't know where you are anymore, you don't understand. You don't know. And just as you are about to fall down to your knees and throw up, there's that strong but yet, gentle hand catching you.

You look up to meet bloody-red eyes and yellow-gold hair. You focus on the first face you've seen in what feels like an eternity. Though half of that face is hidden, you somehow know how it looks and there's a feeling you don't understand that runs through your veins and goes to your crotch. You don't understand, yet you know what it means and your lips part slightly as your eyes are locking with his.

He is from now on, you can swear, the only thing that is keeping you from going berserk. Maybe because he is the first person you see, maybe because he is talking to you, maybe because you are attracted to him. Whatever, you don't want him to go because he means everything to you, now. And when he tells you his name, you whisper it back in that voice you don't know.

"Sheik."

And from now on, he is the only thing keeping you on your feet. He is the only reason you are doing something. Most of the time, you work automatically. It is only normal, for you, to kill, to fight. Your body knows how that's done, yet your mind doesn't understand. Inside, you are petrified. You are a child.

Each time you see him, he escapes from your grasp. Each time, you are disappointed. Because he is the only thing you understand. He is the only link between you, that spirit hidden inside of that body, and the outside world.

Once, you even get the time to get near him. Once, you touch him. Yet, he stops you when you try to get the mask down. He stops you saying he has to go. But you know something is wrong. You don't understand what, though.

And at the end, when you are so, so near. When you think you'll finally be able to feel him, he tells you the truth. He's a she. The cause of your situation, the princess. You hate her, him, because you realise that, after all, you never understood anything of that world. You hate him because it breaks your heart to know he isn't alive. He isn't real. But still, when she gets captured, you go and save her because, after all, she is him. And you loved him.

And after all. You saved the world. You saved the kingdom. You saved him. She looks up at you and says she's sorry. Sorry? You snort. Sorry won't erase all you've been through. She says she'll send you back in time so you can live the years you've lost. You agree, thinking you'll forget about all of this and finally understand.

It was the worst decision you ever took.

You were once too innocent for your age. You are now too wise for your youth. You understand too much. You've lived too much. And now, you know you've been corrupted. And you hate everyone and everything.

You hate her.

You do because of what she's done to you. Because she lied to you. Because she destroyed him.

Because you miss him.

"Some people necessarily have to be sacrificed to save a kingdom, my son."

That's what they dare tell you. They dare to tell you that you needed to be sacrificed in order to make this kingdom a safe and peaceful place. At some point, you think they are right, but you are angry. You always are and you cultivate this negative energy during all your teenage. You travel, telling you are looking for a fairy or for something else. You are looking for a reason. Yet, you know the real one.

You are looking for him.

But he doesn't exist. He was invented by her. He was taken away from you. He was killed. And you have to deal with this grief. You'll always have to.

And when you come back to your homeland in which you are nothing but a stranger, she summons you, thinking of you as a friend. You act likewise. You smile politely, you look happy. You hide. She asks of you to go and defeat some monster. You accept. It is automatic to you. It is the only you know; murder. Humans or monsters. You kill when they ask. And that's all. And that's precisely why you go defeat that monster.

During the fight, you get careless for some random reason. Maybe you are tired; maybe you really can't take this anymore. The facts are: you get hit. Badly. And you fall into the water of the lake. You black out.

This darkness, this emptiness is back. The one you were so securely hidden in for seven years. You feel safe for the first time in ages. You feel good. But, again, you are being awakened. But this time, it is for no purpose at all. No world to be saved. You just wake up to the reassuring sound of the cracking of a fire.

And you gasp.

Beside the fire, there he is. With those eyes and those clothes. The same, only better.

You sit up violently. His calm and piercing eyes switch to you. He slowly gets up and walks to you. His steps are quiet, feline. Assurance and power flows out of him. From everywhere and anywhere at once.

He bends beside you, put a hand to your chest and pushes you back on the ground. You obey as your eyes are locked with his. He holds your stare. It turns you on because only a few other people dare to stand your intense icy stare. You take his hand in yours.

"Sheik."

You whisper his name as if it was a dream. Something in his eyes lit up and you can feel him smile under the cowl. "That would be my name, Hero. I am glad you remember it." You groan as you smile. His voice is so much better from the one you used to know.

"Are you real, this time?"

He chuckles. Your lips part because the sound is so perfect. You've been looking for that person for years. You thought he wasn't even real. You thought he was dead. You thought he was killed.

Yet, you tighten your hold on his smaller hand as you keep holding his stare. He holds yours as well. He is terribly powerful, you can feel it. You think you could stay like this forever, holding his hand. Never letting go of it.

But he breaks the moment by informing you of your condition. You are injured, apparently, quite badly. You don't really care; it's not the first time. He also tells you he saved you and that he will keep you by his side as long as you will be ill. He assures you it is his duty. Nothing more.

And then, you are hurt and loosen your grip. He takes the opportunity to get up and go back to the fire. He's slipping from your hands like water. Like he always did, even when he wasn't real.

You stay with him for a couple of days. Enjoying his silence most of the time. Enjoying his company once in a while. Enjoying his voice barely once a day and enjoying his touch as often as you can. You do whatever you can to get him near. To touch him. He knows how you feel. You can see it in his eyes. You can see he is amused by your behaviour and that somewhere... He understands.

It does take some time before he really let you near him. Before you have a real talk beside the fire. By that time, you have fully recovered and it's been days that you should have leave to accomplish your duties. But you can't go and you know that he won't let you. You understand why and when his eyes meet yours that night, you know he understands. You are sure he does.

That's all it takes for you to close the distance between him and you. All it takes to pull his cowl down and to kiss him. You let go of all those feelings you've hidden for all those years in that kiss. He shivers. You know he can feel it. His soft, yet assured hand goes up to your hat and it pulls it away. His hand now loses itself in your hair. You groan in the kiss, he moans back. Your tongues meet. Finally.

Your clothes are soon discarded. His follow quickly. You take all the time needed to explore his skin. To explore every part of his body. He returns the favour. You close your eyes, enjoying his hands, tongue and mouth. You open your mouth, breathing more and more heavily, your hand entangled in his long, yellow hair. And then it gets more interesting. You install yourself between his spread legs and you take the opportunity to look at him. To observe what he is offering to you. You smile as his intense stare locks with yours. You feel proud to have tamed such a wild, powerful thing.

And then, you take him.

It couldn't have been better. Nothing could have. Nothing in this world could compare to that moment. Nothing could be more perfect then that union of your bodies. No rhythm could be more harmonious than the one of your hips and his working together. No music could sound better to you than the sound of his voice as he moans his satisfaction, and above all, your name.

And you know, you understand that never, never you'll let him be taken away from you again.

After you are both done, after you are down on your back again, his head on your shoulder, you look at him. He meets your eyes again, this time, his fiery stare is more gentle, more soft. You smile to him, truer than you ever smiled to anyone else and this time, your lips meet softly. You hold him close and for the first time in years, you sleep calmly, no nightmares are coming to haunt you.

You understand that he is all you ever knew but never understood. But now, he is beside you and for the first time in what feels like a few eternities, you are whole.

I look down at him and kiss his forehead as he falls asleep. He smiles against me.

I do not own the Legend of Zelda nor any of its characters.

Notes :

Okay, this might get a lil' complicated. First, let's explain the passage of "I" to "you". Link switches his narration from first person to third when his struggles begin. He switches to "you" when he awaken as the Hero of Time and doesn't feel himself anymore. He turns from being a child to being a child stuck in a shell. He'll go back to "I" only when he finds Sheik and feels "whole" again. I will stop my explanations there, because I could write an essay on what Sheik represents to him and go on eternally. I'll let you get your own ideas.

So, I've been stuck in an enourmous writer's block for... ages? Well, no. Months. First thing I manage to write since July.

Anyways, I beg you to review. Yes, I do.

If you have any question, feel free to write to me. I always reply to the people who do and to my reviews (unless I can't write back to you because you have no account).

HAPPY CHRISTMAS, PEOPLE!!!

Gamesplayers