Disclaimer: I own nothing in Buffy world. I barely know anything about it.
Summary: Sometimes she burned, and sometimes she flew. But always, always she knew the ending.
Rating: PG
Kamikaze Flight
She burned and burned and nothing would ever stop it but for one thing. One great looming thing that loomed ever closer on her horizon. Every day is one day closer to the day you die. She knew it, and never denied it. She knew her days were numbered.
She tried the whole "No thanks, I want to live." It hadn't worked out so great. A small regret burned slowly inside her for wasting those days. Not truly living those days.
Oh how she burned! She was a kamikaze fighter and sometimes she thought she was the only one who didn't refuse to believe it.
"It must be freeing to be, you know, near invincible." A friend, someone worth dying for, had said once. She laughed, loudly and without malice.
Freeing. Sure, it was freeing to live every moment of the day like it might be your last. Somehow, the consequences didn't seem quite so important then. They were drops of water in a vast, vast ocean.
It was freeing to grasp love and hold it tight wherever you found it. In the arms of the undead, in the gaze of a school friend, it didn't matter. She wanted life, and love. And she wasn't going to be cheated out of it.
What if it was the last time she could know it? Wouldn't it have been worth it? Better to love and lose...she misquoted, but who cared.
She planned for the future because she didn't want sadness in her life or pitying glances. Another Slayer, no life past 18, 19, 16, whenever. And if she pretended to hope, everyone else did hope.
She burned. She died. And then she lived. And she wanted life, truly she did. But death had claimed her before. Death does not like to give up those once had. Death gleamed at her through every pair of undead eyes. One day it would stare blankly from hers.
But until then, until then...
She threw herself into every battle, she disregarded rules and boundaries. If she was going to die for the sake of the human race, she'd do it her way and no other. She would live!
Death came for them all, it would simply come for her a little sooner. It was hard to forget a truth like that. Hard to forget your mission was to fight until you died because there was no other option.
She twirled and danced,
A kamikaze kite,
Flying through the night.
A string bound her now,
Loose ties to the ground,
'Til freedom was found.
She dove and dove,
A kamikaze kite,
Soaring through the night.
AN: This oneshot was spawned by too much time readig BtVS fanfiction. I need a life outside of my computer screen. If you see one, could you send it my way please? Enjoy and don't forget to review!