Kylo Ren awoke in a cold sweat. He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take. Pain? Pain was a friend he drew close and embraced, the fuel that fed the flames of his power. But lack of sleep? Lack of sleep could drive anyone insane. He could only sneak so many cat naps behind his mask during meetings. Captain Phasma had begun to wordlessly thrust cups of caffa into his hands at the start of any conversation with him. He lacked the energy to punish her for her insolence.
His insomnia began when the scavenger girl started her training with Luke Skywalker. He knew he was Force bonded to Rey. During his conscious hours, he blocked out her mind so thoroughly that she remained unaware of their connection to each other. Snoke instructed Kylo to keep their bond a secret until the time was right. But the godforsaken planet Luke assumed was beyond the reach of the First Order was on the opposite light cycle of Kylo. And so, in his unguarded moments, the torment began.
Rey didn't just like training with Luke. She loved it. Every morning like clockwork she awoke at the break of dawn to spar with her master. Every morning, she bubbled over with sheer, unbridled joy, even as the hours wore on and muscles began to scream in agony. She felt like a goddamn hero in a holovid, training to save the galaxy.
During her time on Jakku, Rey had often sung to herself to keep the loneliness at bay. Opportunities to hear music were rare, so she committed any snippet she heard to memory. They were precious gems that she hoarded and revisited again and again. As she trained with Luke, she liked to use one of her favourites to motivate herself. At first, the song in her mind would start as a barely perceptible hum. But (as Kylo began to know all too well), she would inevitably start to sing and he would be stirred awake.
Tranquil as a forest
But on fire within.
Once you find your center
You are sure to win.
At first, it was amusing. Snoke certainly seemed to think so, as he reminded Kylo that he was not to reveal his connection to Rey at any cost. That was before the song had become engraved upon his very soul due to sheer repetition. Once he had referred to recruits as "the saddest bunch he had ever met" and had barely cut himself off mid-sentence before betting he could make men out of them. In front of Hux, who looked more terrified by Kylo's increasingly erratic behavior than he had ever been by Kylo's unbridled fits of rage.
The only thing worse than listening to Rey's mind chirping like a mindless songbird as she trained for five out of every twenty-four kriffing hours in a day was the creeping dread that she may begin to feel sorry for herself afterwards. She saw no one apart from Luke and without his presence, her mood often spiralled downwards out of control. Fatigue, isolation, and the growing hunger in her belly during the time she was supposed to meditate alone before lunch reminded her powerfully of her time on Jakku. Which, for Kylo, meant that even if he managed to sleep through her training sessions, he was often painfully wrenched from the arms of sleep around seven am. Each time, by her favourite song for lonely moments.
Take me away (take me away)
A secret place (a secret place)
A sweet escape (a sweet escape)
Take me away (take me away)
His waking moments became a haze. On more than one occasion, he stormed dramatically through a doorway only to forget why he was there. He had gotten into the habit of killing or force-choking whoever was in the room, before abruptly turning on his heels and leaving. It was becoming impossible to schedule meetings as his underlings were too afraid to show up and he could never quite remember who to punish.
After two months, Rey and Luke moved to a Resistance base. Kylo knew this because firstly; (Force be praised) Rey's loneliness and the frequency of the "secret place" song had subsided, and secondly; because he was now too exhausted to prevent the endless torrent of her unconscious thoughts and dreams from flooding his mind during his waking hours.
At the Resistance base, the girl had access to more music than she had ever encountered before in her life. She soaked it up like a sponge, expanding her repertoire for unwittingly torturing Kylo with each passing day. She began to seek out any piece of trash with romantic lyrics as a "totally delicious" (her thoughts, verbatim) pilot named Poe attracted her attention. It was like someone had stepped in shit and tracked it all over the pristine carpeting of Kylo's mind. Snoke revelled in his suffering and rarely bothered to torture his apprentice himself anymore. Kylo's pain was already exquisite.
For several hours, Kylo nearly enjoys uninterrupted silence. Rey was ill and so heavily medicated that even her unconscious mind had been quieted. Yet he cannot sleep. He is too sick with dread, knowing that at any moment his respite will end. He trembles when he feels the faintest stirring of her mind. His heart begins to pound as though he were standing on a ledge overlooking a sarrlac pit.
"By the Force, I swear it, I will do anything. I Kylo Ren, will pledge my allegiance to any power that will silence her. Please. Please..." He whispers in the darkness of his room. Rey stretches lazily, smiling as her eyes come into focus on a card left by Poe at her bedside. She picks it up and feels conflicted as she reads the message inside.
Try to tell you "no" but my body keeps on telling you "yes".
Try to tell you "stop", but your lipstick got me so out of breath.
I'll be waking up in the morning, probably hating myself.
In the midst of his fury, a solitary tear streams down Kylo's cheek.
And I'll be waking up, feeling satisfied but guilty as hell.
"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP you half-wit!" He screams at her mind with all of the strength he can muster, pounding his fist into the wall. He is instantly aware of Snoke's fury as his throat begins to close.
Rey is startled into silence. Kylo shudders with relief as Snoke force-chokes him into unconsciousness.
Note: This was inspired by Daisy Ridley saying that her anthem for Rey was "I'll Make a Man Out of You", the movie Easy A, and Adam Driver's reaction to Maroon 5 in the show Girls. Sorry for my difficulty formatting it.