Office Parties Are for Chumps

Dateless in Kirkwall

"Bela, I have a question," Marian sang from her over-sized cubicle at Kirkwall Engineering.

"How can I help you?" Isabela sang back.

Marian launched from her chair, stubbing her toe on the portable heater beneath her desk. "Shit!"

"How can you stand having that fire hazard under your desk?" Isabela asked when Marian came up behind her.

"It's so damn cold in here today. I bet Sebastian turned the heat down again."

"I think he's wearing thermals under his sweater, which is under a down vest today. Have you seen his getup yet?" Isabela asked, her condemnation plain.

"Maybe he has some field work later," Marian offered.

"Or maybe he's just pathetically devoid of fashion sense. For such a handsome guy, he certainly doesn't dress to impress." Isabela swiveled from side to side in her chair, crossing her arms casually. "Well, he did dress better when you had some influence over him."

"Anyway," Marian said, wide eyed. A pang of regret over her past involvment with Sebastian pinched her heart. "I have a ton of things to take over to the printer right now. Anything from your team that needs copying?"

"Not that I know of. You can stop by the CAD room and check, but I'm sure there's nothing."

"Then I won't stop by the CAD room. You're never wrong about these things, and the thought of getting stuck in a conversation with Merrill is not appealing to me right now."

Isabela smiled arrogantly, then eyed her friend. "So, any prospects for the First Day party yet? Fenris doesn't want to go, but he needs to get away from that store before his father croaks. Then he'll be stuck there day and night."

"Yeah, I heard the old man was moved to that facility across town," Marian said. "Once you're in there, you're as good as dead. Is Fenris holding up okay?"

"Better than okay. He hates his father, and I don't blame him. The man was nothing but a cruel bastard. If his mother hadn't died a few years ago, I think she would've killed him by now."

"You're probably right. Anyway, I don't think I'm going to the office party. You know how I hate them." Marian frowned. "Maybe I'll just curl up with a good book and watch the snow fall or something."

"What? You can't be serious," Isabela said, tossing a pencil onto her desk rather violently. She stood up and looked over Marian's shoulder, making sure no one could hear them. "You're going to let me deal with these dullards all by myself?"

"I can't go without a date, Bela. It's just too embarrassing."

"Oh, bullshit." Isabela placed her hands on her hips, her eyes flashing. "Half the CAD department is going solo. Maybe you can hook up with Anders."

"Anders?" Marian laughed. "No, he's a bit too serious for me. I mean I like him, but I'm really not interested in the same things as he is. He can talk for hours about domestic policy, religion... Ach, no thanks."

"Hey! I know who you should ask." Isabela's eyes lit up with a momentary gleam of genius. "What about the guy who owns the print shop? He has lots of money, he's gorgeous, maybe a bit conceited, but I heard Bran dumped that chick who owns the diner."

"'A bit conceited'? He's off the charts, Bela." Is she nuts? I'm so not his type. "Besides, I don't think he even knows my name."

"Oh, he knows everyone's name. He knows who I am and I rarely see him."

"That's only because you have similar… hobbies," Marian shot back with a smirk. "Last week he didn't even look me in the eye when I dropped off my project descriptions for copying."

"Hm, that could be a good sign, you know. Maybe he's shy around you because he wants you." Isabela made a lewd gesture, causing Marian flick her in the arm. "I've heard he's rather talented with his hands, if you catch my meaning."

"I don't think so, Bela. I'm sure he would have no interest in a boring marketing manager."

"Just think about it. I'll be awfully put out if you blow off this party, and you know what happens when I'm mad at you."

Marian looked up, a crooked smile on her face. "Yeah, I'll be doing my own typing for a month."

"That's right. Listen to me," Isabela whispered. "All you have to do is ask him about the shop and I'm sure he'll be more than happy to bore you with the details. Then, once you're having a relaxing conversation, you can hit him up for the party."

"I'm not as… confident about these things as you, Bela." Marian felt an overwhelming sense of fearfulness just then. "And if he says no, I'll be mortified."

"Oh, don't be such a chicken. If he says no, tell him to fuck off and die."

Marian burst out laughing. "That would go over really well with Jack," she replied. "Nope, don't want to piss off the boss by losing the only copy guy in a 20-mile radius."

"Just pretend you're me then. Think 'what would Isabela do?' and run with it. You have no reason to be so down on yourself. If I didn't have Fenris, I'd seduce you in a heartbeat." With a sympathetic smile, Isabela urged her friend to take a chance. "Just promise you'll to consider the idea. It won't kill you, will it?"

Isabela was always so supportive and complimentary. Sometimes Marian thought she was just lying to make her feel better, but she knew in her heart Isabela only wanted to see her happy.

Toughen up, Marian. "All right, I'll consider it, but I'm not making any promises past that."

With a wide, triumphant grin, Isabela moved closer and whispered in her ear. "And don't forget to check out his package. You can tell a lot about a man by the size of his-"

"All righty then!" Marian snatched up the map tubes and file folders jam-packed with site photos. "Maker, Bela. I'm sure he doesn't stand around copying in the nude."

"He wears tight pants," she insisted. "Just a peek. For me?"

Marian shook her head, but Isabela had planted the seed and it would take every ounce of control Marian had not to look. What have I gotten myself into now?

The wind picked up as Marian trudged across the parking lot, sheets of snow whipping and swirling around her. "Shit, I hate this weather," she muttered, pushing her back against the door to Kirkwall Printshop. Stumbling in backward, she turned and ran straight into Aveline.

"Marian! I was just thinking about you. You must be ready for this month's supply of shake mix. I have a new dietary supplement you might like also. It accelerates your weight loss and has key nutrients to optimize your athletic performance."

Marian's eyes darted left and right, panicked. She was relieved to see no other customers inside the shop, and Bran was out of earshot too. "Yes, well, let me call you. I'm a bit tied up right now," she said, gesturing with her head to the maps and folders she carried in her arms. "Thanks though."

"Here's my card, just in case…." Aveline jammed the card in between two folders and smiled before rushing out the door.

Marian rolled her eyes and headed for the front desk. Placing everything down as carefully as she could, a folder fell from the pile and the contents scattered across the floor. She squatted down to gather them up, cursing under her breath, and heard footsteps approaching, a pair of fine leather shoes coming to a halt directly in front of her. It was him. Shit. Breathe, just breathe. She couldn't stop her eyes from rolling up. Maker's breath, the package is definitely…there. Yes, yes, oh my….

Frozen with lustful thoughts, she didn't realize he was bending over to help her, and as he did so, she leaned forward at the same time and their heads bumped. Marian shuddered, looking away with a startled curse, and then she straightened, facing him confidently, channeling Isabela's courage. Maker, he is really good looking. She stared at him for several seconds, her heart pounding in her chest, the world fading away. She saw only his amber eyes. Oh, I'm done for now.

As she stared at Bran, a flash of something strange passed through him. It was something he couldn't put his finger on immediately, and something he dismissed just as quickly. "More work for me, hm?" He stood up and watched as she intentionally avoided looking at his crotch. This girl is positively delightful! "All this copying will keep me busy until First Day."

"Oh, no, it's… it's not that much really." Standing, she straightened the papers in the folder, tapping them against the palm of her hand relentlessly. "I only need five copies of each topo and ten sets of the photo groupings and fifteen of the five by fives in the tubes," she blathered.

"I was joking, Marian." His tone was serious, but his smile genuine.

He does know my name. "Oh." A raging flush crept to her cheeks. "So do you think I could get these back by the end of the day?"

"When have I ever not taken care of my biggest client?" Bran walked behind the counter and began organizing the maps and folders into neat piles. Glancing up at her, he saw her twirling a lock of hair. It seems I make her nervous. I wonder why?

"Okay, good then. So…." Marian paused, trying to think of a question about his printshop to facilitate a conversation, as Isabela had suggested. Peering over his shoulder, she scanned the copier room, never noticing just how large the machines were. "Those copiers must cost a fortune to operate and maintain. Toner is so pricey, and the maintenance must be quite a drain on your profits."

Brows drawn together, he studied her. "You have an interest in the printing business, do you?"

In the two years he'd known her, he'd been somewhat interested in her, but he never overtly gave that impression. Other women had occupied what little free time he had, and Marian didn't seem to give him any thought anyway. She was simply a minor distraction when she stopped by his shop weekly, a smart, well-shaped woman to admire and maybe fantasize about on the odd occasion.

Now, Bran found himself fully assessing her as she prattled on about how the equipment in her office was archaic. She was not beautiful, but she was attractive, and the center of her attractiveness was her wholesomeness, her simplicity. With her hood thrown back, her golden-red hair was blown all about her face, damp and curling from the snow. Her green eyes were wild and startled while she spoke, presumably from the flurry of activity upon her arrival. Freckled cheeks were kissed pink from the cold, and her lips still quivered a bit. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was tempted beyond reason to press his lips to hers until they melted against his own. Just thinking about it made him shift uncomfortably. Why have I never looked at her so closely before? Maybe I should ask her to dinner some time.

"… but you now how engineers are. Cheaper than my grandmother," Marian said with a soft giggle.

"So until your company decides to invest in new equipment, I will reap the rewards of their frugality." She nodded and smiled, still twirling her hair around a finger. Bran wanted to keep the conversation going for just a little longer, needing to get a better picture of what she was all about before asking her on a date. "But they are not so cheap when it comes to their employees, are they? I heard Kirkwall Engineering is throwing their First Day party at the Quail and Hound. Very swank for such a stuffy bunch, don't you think?"

"The owners are just old hippies. They're actually more fun than you'd think, and not everyone is stuffy either, only the folks you've met."

Except for you…. "And I presume you will be there in all your finery?"

"I, um… I haven't decided yet. I think those parties are… are just a lame excuse to get drunk for free and then try to get a raise out of your boss."

Her voice wavered; he knew she was feeding him a line of crap. "That's a ridiculous assumption," he laughed. "Well, maybe not the getting drunk for free part, but why can't you make the most of it and enjoy yourself despite the sophomoric antics of your co-workers?"

Sunk. He sees right through me. Time to channel Isabela again. "To be honest, I haven't been able to find a date yet." She spoke so softly, he almost didn't hear her.

"Really?" This is surprising. "With so many men and so few women at KE I should think it would be a snap to secure a date."

"I'm really not interested in dating anyone I work with," she said with an endearing yet disgusted expression on her face. "That gets weird very fast."

Hm, she's speaking from experience. "What about someone like me?" he ventured. "I hardly consider our mutual business transactions too close for comfort."

"You? Are you… I mean, would you…." Bran had succeeded in flustering her to the point of speaking in monosyllables. "You want… to… go… with me?" She realized that was an idiotic thing to ask since he suggested it, but Marian wasn't used to being this tongue-tied. Nor was she used to her face turning the color of her crimson blouse.

"Perhaps, if you asked nicely." Silent bewilderment was all he got back from her. A small twinge of guilt settled in his stomach, even though he was thoroughly amused by her embarrassment. I'll go easy on her this time. He smirked, his eyes gleaming with mischief. "Bran," he said in a higher pitch than normal. "Would you like to escort me to the holiday party? Why yes, Marian," he said in his own voice, "that would be delightful." Leaning forward, his display of attention further discomforted her as he waited.

Of course she wanted to go with him. What woman in her right mind would refuse? But the words caught in her throat as if a knot had tied tight around them, preventing her from getting them out. She could only stand and stare as he brushed a wet tendril from her eye. Maker, this is too much. A smile crept to her lips and she cleared her throat. "I guess it's a date then… right?"

"It is." Why does she have such little confidence? She's appealing, sharp. This will not do at all.

"Okay, so when I come back later, I'll give you the details, you know, what to wear and… stuff."

"I think I have an idea about dressing for formal parties." He gave her a meaningful smile, thoroughly smitten with her innocence.

"Right, of course." Her mouth had gone totally dry, her palms sweating. "I need to get back to the office."

"Let me get the door for you, Marian." Before she could tell him it wasn't necessary, Bran hurried around the counter.

"Thank you," she said absently, but then noticed he stayed by her side. She must have given him an odd look. "I'm not really one of those uber-feminist types who get offended by the courteous acts of men."

"I didn't think you were a feminist." She affected him, quite a lot actually, and he couldn't take his eyes from her, though he wasn't sure why. "Sometimes the wind blows open the door, practically taking it right off the hinges." Why did I just offer that information?

"Oh, I see." He held the door for her, then kept holding it, obviously waiting for her to say something more. "I didn't know Aveline was a client of yours," she said, mentally slapping herself for such an inane statement.

"A new client," he said. The cold air blew into his shop, and heard the boiler fire up, but he didn't care about the high price of oil at that moment. He held her gaze for a long, searing moment. "If you ask me, I don't think you are in need of any weight loss management products. I like you exactly as you are."

"You do?" Her heart swelled with a surprising emotion, and it took her off guard.

He nodded. "Except for one thing. I wish you were not so anxious about me. I'm not as bold and smug as you expect."

"I don't think you're smug," she defended. "I'm just… surprised you want to go to the party with me."

"Don't be. And don't be nervous. We'll have a fantastic time. In fact, I should have asked you on a date ages ago. " His gaze swept down over the soft curve of her breasts peaking out of her coat and back to her face.

His seductive look made her pulse race. "I agree." Kiss me, damn it.

"Brush up on your dancing skills, too. It would be a shame not to take advantage of the magnificent ballroom they have at the Quail and Hound." Should I kiss her?

"I love to dance," she breathed as he leaned closer.

"Good." He was all too aware that they were not anywhere near being in a private place. His gaze still locked with hers, he lifted her hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. "Now, get back to the office before they begin to wonder if you've quit. I'll see you later."

"Bye," she whispered, unable to think of anything but how much she wanted him to kiss her. Plenty of time for that. Stop it right now, Marian.

Sucked out the door with a strong gust of bitter wind, she turned back to wave to him, but he was already gone, back inside the shop. Her heart was fluttering a mile a minute, her body tingling in places she didn't know existed. She smiled.

Isabela is going to freak the fuck out.

A/N: So I had a dream about a modern-day Kirkwall and this is what came out of that dream. I just had to get this down because it fascinated me so much. I'm guessing it will be only be a few chapters long, perhaps the DA2 characters carousing at the holiday party and a bit of the romance beginning here. Who knows? Thanks for reading! Leave a comment or suggestion if you like too.