Shattered

Heart still beating but it's not working

It's like a hundred thousand voices that just can't sing

I reached out trying to love but I feel nothing

Oh, my heart is numb

-Feel Again by OneRepublic

The heart is the most mysterious muscle in the body. It's acts like a completely separate being, yet it is so vital to someone's life. It's constant rhythm pumps blood to every part of the body, nurturing every limp, every cell, every molecule.

Since the beginning of time, people have been intrigued by the mysterious organ, curious with its strength and meaning. To most, a heart is more than an instrument that keeps a being alive. To many, a heart symbolizes a person's unspoken emotions. To most, a heart is integral part of a person's deepest thoughts and feelings. It was as if you could pull out someone's heart and see their every desire etched deep in the muscle.

Another mystery of the heart was the way it reacted around the one you loved. The simple action of seeing them or hearing their name could make your heart race, causing physical pain. When they touched you, it felt as if your heart had stopped beating for those first few moments and then took off sprinting. It was understandable why everyone believed the heart was linked to love, considering how a simple muscle, with no brain of its own, reacted in the presence of a soulmate. How was it possible that a muscle like any other would know and change tempo when it spotted a lover?

Everyone's heart beat is different, unique to each individual like DNA. Some hearts beat fast in anticipation or old age, other's beat slowly and surely as a result of perfect health. When two people are in love, their hearts beat perfectly together, not necessarily at the same time, but together they form a beautiful harmony that cannot be replicated.

Erza had his heartbeat memorized. Having trained for years on end, he had the slow, steady beat of an athlete. His magic was tied to his life, which meant it was equally tied to his heart. This gave the beat a strange rhythm, unlike anything Erza had ever heard before. She loved it and ached to be near it at all times. She loved those quiet evenings they spent together, lying in the silence with only each other to fill the void. She would lie on his chest, her red hair covering his torso, listening to his beautiful heartbeat until it lulled to sleep.

In those moments, with her head on his chest and his arm wrapped around her waist, she felt perfectly at peace. Never had she felt so safe, so cared for and loved. As much as she adored her guild and guild mates, there was something that only Jellal could give her. A feeling that she was truly loved, that she would never have to worry about being enough for him. He adored every piece of her, all the nasty bits included. He didn't care that she wasn't perfect, because, in his eyes, she was. She was everything he wanted in life, she was everything he needed. She never worried about what tomorrow would bring, because in those perfect moments, she didn't have to worry about anything.

Right now, Erza wanted nothing more than to hear that once more. She ached for those peaceful nights spent with her Jellal where nothing but their love for each other really mattered. But here she was, in the midst of battle, dust and fog clouding her vision. The booming sounds of attacks filled her ears, threatening to burst her eardrums as they climbed to inhuman decibels. She winced with every noise, her whole body filled with fear and worry for her friends and allies. The burning smell of flesh and the sharp scent of death filled her nostrils, making her eyes water as the bitter smell made a permanent residence in her nose.

As an S-Class mage, the redhead was supposed to be amongst the guild's strongest fighters. She had always had faith in the strength and perseverance of the guild. Even during the seven year time gap, her fellow wizards had never lost faith and together, they had made it through even the darkest times. But, as she stood in the middle of the rubble under the dark, stormy sky that blanketed what used to be Magnolia, Erza had a sense of shame. Shame not for Fairy Tail, but for herself. It was her job to protect her friends, her city, her home. She had become a mage to protect the defenseless, to speak up for those who had lost their voices along the way. Although, when she surveyed the ruins that was the guildhall, she felt it deep within herself that she had failed. Failed herself, failed her guild, failed her home.

She stood up, shaking off the thick layer of dust that covered her arms. Erza had finished a battle with a formidable foe, but during the heat of the attacks, she had lost track of her team. Once the enemy had been spotted, they agreed to separate and take on individual opponents to best protect the town.

It seemed their plan had failed.

Luckily, when the band of dark wizards had attacked, many guilds from all over had been in Magnolia. The light guilds, at the time before the attack, had been holding a conference, discussing the increasing number of dark guilds popping up near the outskirts of the town Fairy Tail called home. The threat had been imminent and each guild had sent over only their best to fight the forces of evil.

But even that hadn't been enough.

As Erza stumbled around the town, she saw more and more sights that frightened her. As she limped down a street she had strolled down that same morning, she caught sight of something small lying on the ground. As she got closer, she realized with a start that it was something she was very familiar with. There, sitting on the ground, surrounded by rubble and dirt, was one of Jura's sandals.

It seemed that even the best fell.

Even though she felt every part of her body explode in shock and pain, Erza refused to stop, to spend even a second to mourn a fallen friend. It seemed nearly impossible for her brain to process that one of the wizard saints, Lamia Scale's strongest mage, had fallen. In fact, her brain didn't want to have to process it. She wanted to be able to jump back a few hours in time, back to before the attack. She wanted the chance to warn everyone before the troops invaded, to evacuate all the citizens and prepare the mages more. She wanted to tell them that there were more evil bastards coming than they were expecting.

Most of all, she wanted them to run.

Wiping the tears forming in her eyes, she pushed forward, forcing herself to not look back at that single sandal that meant so much more. She made herself keep going, knowing that if she stopped, she wouldn't be able to get back up. She did this not just for herself, but for her team.

For him.

Jellal, too, had offered his services. Along with all of Crime Sorcière, he came to the conference, uncaring of his fugitive status, the second he heard that Erza's life was in peril. As much as he respected and feared her strength as a wizard, he had also vowed to protect her with his dying breath. And Erza feared he would do just that.

Her heart thumped nervously and hard, her blood pumping so loud that it rang in her ears. Maybe it was the explosions for nearby battles, maybe it was the blood rushing in her ears, but she felt deaf and disoriented, the noisy and constant booming sound was all she could hear. She wanted the pain to end, both the one in her ears and the one in her chest. The fear had blossomed into full out panic. She needed to find them. Now.

That's when she saw it.

A discarded cape, lying in a pile in the middle of the street, at the entrance of a small alley.

Under normal circumstances, she would have kept looking but something pulled her closer. She felt her heart beat even harder as she stepped closer and closer to the navy blue garment, her brain already knowing what her heart refused to acknowledge.

It was Jellal's cape.

She immediately rushed down and picked it up, touching the blood soaked article of clothing. The tears streamed down her face and she desperately looked up, trying to find him. Staring down the dark alley, she saw a form, lying there, alone and motionless on the ground one hundred feet away.

Rushing to her feet, Erza sprinted to it, praying to everything holy that it wasn't, it couldn't be, Jellal. In those short moments, she felt her whole life flash before her eyes. Their days working at the Tower of Heaven. Seeing him on that God forsaken throne after years of silence. The pain in his eyes when they met again. That almost kiss on the mountain. The impromptu visits to Fairy Tail. The confession that came years too late. Those perfectly silent nights, her head on his heart. The battles they fought side by side, both physical and mental. Everything they had gone through. So much pain, so much suffering. They deserved a happy ending.

When she finally reached the person, lying on their back on the cold, stone ground, she couldn't believe her eyes. The redhead, at first, couldn't make out any features. The man lying on the ground by her feet was so mangled, there was no chance there was even an ounce of life still in him. His face was covered in soot and dirt, his chest, a crimson mess of blood and things that should have been inside his body. But when those perfect dark eyes of his snapped open, Erza felt her heart snap in two.

"Er….Erza?" Jellal whispered, his voice so weak it was nearly inaudible. The girl fell to her knees, collapsing on him. She wrapped her arms around him, willing to give up anything, everything to be lying on the ground, dying, instead of him. She couldn't believe this. The strongest man she knew, the one who had been able to overcome so much was barely breathing, barely hanging on, right in front of her.

"My baby," she sobbed, her head on what was left of his torso. She felt his hand weakly try to reach her hair, burying his fingers in her dirty locks. The tears wouldn't stop coming and she couldn't think. Nothing. She couldn't feel, the pain had become too much for her to even process.

She couldn't believe anything anymore.

Erza pressed her ears against his shredded chest, trying to hear for his heart. There it was, faint, but there. The same beat she had come to love, the one she had memorized. The one that fit in perfectly with hers. The one that was the most comforting sound in the world to her, a harmonic melody of everything beautiful on the planet.

She didn't want to let it go, didn't want it to stop. Never ever. Not in her life.

But when his beautiful heart stopped beating, she felt hers break.

Shattered.