Author's notes:
No idea how I got myself into writing this story. Looking back I suspect a tragic combination of liquor and jazz. No, wait, wrong movie. Anyway, consider yourself warned: what follows is utter silliness that bears little resemblance to either Zetsuai or Titanic. If that is your thing, enjoy! And don't hesitate to give feedback - it's my bread, butter and chocolate.
Ayumie
ZETSUAI DOES TITANIC
Jack Dawson - Koji (I'm not such a sissy!) Nanjo
Rose DeWitt Beaucater - Takuto (why do I have to wear a dress?) Izumi
Caldon Hawkley - Hirose (but nobody is allowed to touch me!) Nanjo
Caldon's little known because psychopathic brother - Akihito Nanjo
Mr. Lovejoy - Kurauchi (whose first name isn't known - at least not to me)
Fabrizio - Katsumi - how am I supposed to imitate this accent?) - Shibuya
Rose's mother - Izumi's mother
Molly Brown - Toshiyuki - (is all of that really necessary?) Takasaka
The orchestra - Koji's band
Everyone else (especially Eri Ijima) - drowning people
Part I
Koji, who had forced the unsuspecting Katsumi into a game of poker with a few loafers from Shinjuku, took a bored look at the clock. If only he could win at least one game! Finally the impatient singer decided it wasn't worth the effort, beat the men up and simply stole their tickets. They had promised to force Izumi into one of those skimpy cocktail dresses and he'd be damned if he wasted any more time! The cocktail dress on the other hand, had been a clever lie of the directress, who had to somehow get the admittedly stubborn rock-star to cooperate. What Izumi really was wearing, was an expensive, floor-length robe - that is, what little was left of it. Reenacting the soccer match Tohou versus Nankatsu with a group of camera men had reduced the formerly exclusive garment into a state that defied description. Well, a least the dirty, torn piece of cloth matched the mood of its wearer.
Hirose sighed as he got aware of the other's facial expression, looking at his chauffeur for help. Kurauchi, however, was quite busy making sure that the trunk that Akihito was being transported in didn't fall off the car - not that it would have mattered much. Finally the oldest Nanjo brother managed to help Izumi out of the car as the script dictated. The other didn't even resist as much as expected (after all, who would like to be in one car with Akihito?!) and so they finally managed to board the ship while the waving people at the docks were glad to at last be rid of those crazy Nanjos. Koji, who had gotten on his way almost an hour early, was in the meanwhile waiting in his beloved's cabin. In the original script such a scene hadn't occurred but at the threat of physical violence the directress saw it fit to make some . changes.
As Izumi finally entered his suite he was ready to kill for a few minutes of peace. Too bad he wasn't going to get it.
"Izumi, darling, finally you are here! I have been missing so much! How long have we been separated? Ten, twenty minutes?"
"YOU?! What are you doing here? The script says I'm supposed to look at some paintings."
"Well, I was thinking we could speed things up a little. We should do the drawing scene immediately. Come on, get undressed! Just think about it, in the original movie they only get to do it one, single time. If we act according to my plan we could have sex up to 50 times!"
"Can you even draw? And what is this thing about getting undressed? And sex? What the hell are you even talking about?!"
Izumi, who was too tired to as much as yell at Koji, leaved listlessly through his script. The directress, who had wisely edited these passages from Izumi's version of the book, ran screaming into the room to prevent a catastrophe. With the help of the supporting staff Koji was eventually brought to where he was supposed to be - the bow of the ship. There he is said to have dropped the remark that he regretted not having brought his gun - the dolphins down there were looking tasty.
Shortly after sundown a coughing Izumi, whose experience with the cigarette had obviously not been good for him, came running outside. Out of breath and more than a little nauseated he finally reached the railing where he once more bumped into Koj.
"Beloved, finally you are here! Is it time for the scene where I heroically rush to your aid? I have been waiting for 3 hours in the cold. Are my lips blue? Is my hair in place?"
"Aid? What are you now talking about? I'm just here because that damned cigarette made me sick. Fucking script! Fucking movie!"
"But the script say that now you are going to threaten to jump off the ship and drown yourself in the icy tides!"
"I?! Down there?! Forget it, next month the soccer championships are coming up and I can't afford to get sick, let alone die."
"Ok, if you say so. I don't mind getting to land on you right away. Maybe we'll even have a little time to."
"You?! On me?! I think I'd rather jump after all."
In the next second Izumi was on the wrong side of the railing and Koji, his often worn suffering expression firmly in place, kept declaring his love in the hope of luring him back. A he saw that his words were getting him nowhere singer simply grabbed his beloved's skirt, forcibly pulling him back. This, however, caused a new dilemma. Izumi, who had been supposed to land on the floor and beneath Koji was still standing and quite obviously alright. The lovesick rock-star really didn't have a choice. An ecstatic smile on his face he slowly forced his beloved to the ground, all the while kissing his beautiful body.
"Koji! Koji, stop it! This . this isn't in the script!"
As if that interested the other. Naïve as Izumi was it took him several minutes and the top of his dress to come up with the most obvious solution - yelling for help. Fortunately (at least from Izumi's point of view) this was exactly what he was supposed ot do so it didn't take long for somebody to arrived. People pulled the crazy singer off him, freeing a breathless and thoroughly flustered Izumi. For the sake of the storyline - and for that of their own help - everybody accepted Koij's explanations despite their reported lack of credibility. Izumi, who kept shouting the truth, found himself ignored.
No idea how I got myself into writing this story. Looking back I suspect a tragic combination of liquor and jazz. No, wait, wrong movie. Anyway, consider yourself warned: what follows is utter silliness that bears little resemblance to either Zetsuai or Titanic. If that is your thing, enjoy! And don't hesitate to give feedback - it's my bread, butter and chocolate.
Ayumie
ZETSUAI DOES TITANIC
Jack Dawson - Koji (I'm not such a sissy!) Nanjo
Rose DeWitt Beaucater - Takuto (why do I have to wear a dress?) Izumi
Caldon Hawkley - Hirose (but nobody is allowed to touch me!) Nanjo
Caldon's little known because psychopathic brother - Akihito Nanjo
Mr. Lovejoy - Kurauchi (whose first name isn't known - at least not to me)
Fabrizio - Katsumi - how am I supposed to imitate this accent?) - Shibuya
Rose's mother - Izumi's mother
Molly Brown - Toshiyuki - (is all of that really necessary?) Takasaka
The orchestra - Koji's band
Everyone else (especially Eri Ijima) - drowning people
Part I
Koji, who had forced the unsuspecting Katsumi into a game of poker with a few loafers from Shinjuku, took a bored look at the clock. If only he could win at least one game! Finally the impatient singer decided it wasn't worth the effort, beat the men up and simply stole their tickets. They had promised to force Izumi into one of those skimpy cocktail dresses and he'd be damned if he wasted any more time! The cocktail dress on the other hand, had been a clever lie of the directress, who had to somehow get the admittedly stubborn rock-star to cooperate. What Izumi really was wearing, was an expensive, floor-length robe - that is, what little was left of it. Reenacting the soccer match Tohou versus Nankatsu with a group of camera men had reduced the formerly exclusive garment into a state that defied description. Well, a least the dirty, torn piece of cloth matched the mood of its wearer.
Hirose sighed as he got aware of the other's facial expression, looking at his chauffeur for help. Kurauchi, however, was quite busy making sure that the trunk that Akihito was being transported in didn't fall off the car - not that it would have mattered much. Finally the oldest Nanjo brother managed to help Izumi out of the car as the script dictated. The other didn't even resist as much as expected (after all, who would like to be in one car with Akihito?!) and so they finally managed to board the ship while the waving people at the docks were glad to at last be rid of those crazy Nanjos. Koji, who had gotten on his way almost an hour early, was in the meanwhile waiting in his beloved's cabin. In the original script such a scene hadn't occurred but at the threat of physical violence the directress saw it fit to make some . changes.
As Izumi finally entered his suite he was ready to kill for a few minutes of peace. Too bad he wasn't going to get it.
"Izumi, darling, finally you are here! I have been missing so much! How long have we been separated? Ten, twenty minutes?"
"YOU?! What are you doing here? The script says I'm supposed to look at some paintings."
"Well, I was thinking we could speed things up a little. We should do the drawing scene immediately. Come on, get undressed! Just think about it, in the original movie they only get to do it one, single time. If we act according to my plan we could have sex up to 50 times!"
"Can you even draw? And what is this thing about getting undressed? And sex? What the hell are you even talking about?!"
Izumi, who was too tired to as much as yell at Koji, leaved listlessly through his script. The directress, who had wisely edited these passages from Izumi's version of the book, ran screaming into the room to prevent a catastrophe. With the help of the supporting staff Koji was eventually brought to where he was supposed to be - the bow of the ship. There he is said to have dropped the remark that he regretted not having brought his gun - the dolphins down there were looking tasty.
Shortly after sundown a coughing Izumi, whose experience with the cigarette had obviously not been good for him, came running outside. Out of breath and more than a little nauseated he finally reached the railing where he once more bumped into Koj.
"Beloved, finally you are here! Is it time for the scene where I heroically rush to your aid? I have been waiting for 3 hours in the cold. Are my lips blue? Is my hair in place?"
"Aid? What are you now talking about? I'm just here because that damned cigarette made me sick. Fucking script! Fucking movie!"
"But the script say that now you are going to threaten to jump off the ship and drown yourself in the icy tides!"
"I?! Down there?! Forget it, next month the soccer championships are coming up and I can't afford to get sick, let alone die."
"Ok, if you say so. I don't mind getting to land on you right away. Maybe we'll even have a little time to."
"You?! On me?! I think I'd rather jump after all."
In the next second Izumi was on the wrong side of the railing and Koji, his often worn suffering expression firmly in place, kept declaring his love in the hope of luring him back. A he saw that his words were getting him nowhere singer simply grabbed his beloved's skirt, forcibly pulling him back. This, however, caused a new dilemma. Izumi, who had been supposed to land on the floor and beneath Koji was still standing and quite obviously alright. The lovesick rock-star really didn't have a choice. An ecstatic smile on his face he slowly forced his beloved to the ground, all the while kissing his beautiful body.
"Koji! Koji, stop it! This . this isn't in the script!"
As if that interested the other. Naïve as Izumi was it took him several minutes and the top of his dress to come up with the most obvious solution - yelling for help. Fortunately (at least from Izumi's point of view) this was exactly what he was supposed ot do so it didn't take long for somebody to arrived. People pulled the crazy singer off him, freeing a breathless and thoroughly flustered Izumi. For the sake of the storyline - and for that of their own help - everybody accepted Koij's explanations despite their reported lack of credibility. Izumi, who kept shouting the truth, found himself ignored.