The Adventures of Auntie Sloan (or five times Sloan babysat Charlotte McAvoy)
And one time Charlotte took care of Sloan
i. The First Time.
"DON!" He hears her shout, almost freaked out, from the other side of the apartment. Scared, he leaves what he's doing and runs to Charlotte's room.
"What?" He asks, out of breath, even if it's a short distance. He should really think about getting in better shape. "What's wrong?"
"I think I broke her." Sloan says. Don looks down at her arms, where Charlotte is happily chewing the ear of her stuffed bunny. "I broke the baby."
"What the hell?" Don asks her, confused. "She's fine!"
"No, she's not!" She replies, outraged. "She's always crying. She was crying until I picked her up. This little fucker never stops crying! She's got her mother temper. Why isn't she crying?"
"Let me get this straight." Don says, holding of his laughter. "She was crying, you picked her up and she stopped, right?" Sloan nods. "So, the first thing that crossed your mind is that you broke her?" He asks her, this time completely failing at not laughing.
"Don't laugh at me! This is the first time I take care of a baby!" Sloan exclaims, not finding the situation funny, at all. "Why the hell did Kenzie let me babysit her?"
"Because you begged and nagged her until she said yes." Don reminds her. He approaches them and puts his arm around Sloan waist. "You didn't break her, honey. She just likes you."
Then, out of the blue, Don lightly pinches Charlotte's arm and the baby starts crying.
"See? She's not broken." He says before leaving the room.
"DON!"
ii. The Itch Name.
Sloan hears someone walking into her office but, when she looks around she doesn't see anyone. Thinking she's going crazy, Sloan returns her attention to her computer screen but, a few seconds later, something touches her leg and makes her jump out of her chair.
"Auntie!" Charlotte happily laughs at her. "Hi!"
Sloan picks her up and Charlie gives her the flower she has in her hand. "Thank you." Sloan tells her before kissing her cheek. "How did you get here, munchkin?" She asks, knowing that the kid couldn't have climbed the stairs to her office alone.
"Dada!" Charlotte exclaims, pointing to the door. Sloan looks there, just in time to see Will peeking through the glass of her office.
"Will?" Sloan asks, gaining his attention.
"Hi." Will says, stepping inside and repeating the words his daughter just said barely a minute ago. "The babysitter is sick and we have a rundown meeting." He explains.
"Why did she give me a flower?"
"Bribery? Mac told me to ask nicely." Will replies.
"You don't need to bribe me to spend time with my goddaughter."
"Thank you. Mac will pick her up when we're done." Will tells her. Then, he kisses his daughter's head and, after a Bye pumpkin!, he leaves the office.
Sloan looks at Will's leaving form, a bit astonished, and then looks at the kid on her arms. "What am I supposed to do with you? Daddy forgot to bring things to entertain you."
"Play!" Charlotte happily squeals, her little arms reaching for the iPad on her desk.
Sloan sits down on her chair and places Charlotte on her lap. She opens her iPad and does a quick Google search for a game suitable for kids under two. She reads a few reviews and finally settles for Lots2Spot. The damn app costs 3,99 fucking dollars but what wouldn't she do for her niece. She downloads it and sets her iPad so Charlotte can play.
Charlotte clears the first level in no time and, by the time she clears the second one, Sloan can tell she's getting bored. Before she can prevent it, little Charlie closes the app and begins randomly touching the screen until her eyes find the picture Sloan has as background: a picture of Charlotte sweetly kissing Sloan's nose.
"Me!" Charlotte exclaims, turning her head to look at Sloan.
"Yes, that's you. Wanna look at more pictures?" At Charlie's vigorous nod, Sloan opens the Photo App and taps an album called ACN.
"Jimmy!" Charlie says.
"And who's next to him?" Sloan asks her.
"Maggie." She says before going to the next picture with her chubby fingers. "Mama!" Charlotte squeals again after seeing a picture of her mother sitting at her office, concentrated reading something with her glasses dangerously perched at the end of her nose.
"Your Daddy took that photo." Sloan explains. "The flash of his phone scared Mama and she threw her pen at him, hitting him right in the middle of his forehead." She recalls, laughing at the memory.
"Daddy silly." Charlie tells her aunt.
"Yes, he is." Sloan replies, grinning, while going to the next picture: a photo of the whole news division made at last year's ACN party.
"Neal. Tess. Kendra. Gary. Mama. Dada. Grandpa. Grandma Lee. Auntie. Donny. Jimmy. Maggie. Eli (Elliot). Itch. Tammy (Tamara). Orority girl (Jenna). Herb. Joey. Marty (Martin) ..." Charlie says while she points at the different people on the picture. Sloan thinks is cute how she mispronounces some of the names, especially how she calls Jenna Orority Girl. She hopes she doesn't call the poor girl that in front of her. Then, she realizes Charlotte said a strange name.
"Charlie, did you say itch?" Sloan asks her.
"Itch!" She repeats, pointing at the woman in question. Sloan sets her look at the face and has to do a serious effort for not to burst out laughing. "That's Jane, munchkin."
"Itch!" Charlotte exclaims, looking at her aunt like she's crazy. Then, something clicks on Sloan's mind and she relates the word with the face.
"Charlotte, have you heard it from your Mama that Jane is an itch?"
"Yeeeeees. Jane itch."
And Sloan begins laughing out loud: only Mackenzie would call Jane Barrow a bitch in front of her kid.
iii. The F word.
Sloan spends her Saturday babysitting her two and a half years old niece: Will and Mac want to have a romantic dinner out but Sloan volunteers to take Charlotte out for the day.
In the morning, she takes Charlotte to the park and then treats her with what her parents would say is an unhealthy lunch, but the kid loves every minute of it. They go to Sloan's apartment so Charlie can nap for a while. Once she wakes up, they watch a movie before going back to the kid's home. She makes dinner for both of them and, after eating it, prepares the bath for Charlotte.
She fills the bathtub to a safety level and checks the water temperature. When everything is right, she quickly undresses the little girl and gently places her inside. The enormous amount of bath toys she has is almost ridiculous but Charlie seems to be having the time of her life talking to the toys and splashing water all over the place, and Sloan. While she is distracter, Sloan carefully shampoos her hair. Then, she grabs the shower head to rinse her head. She doesn't think that it'll be slippery, or that her hands are wet. The result: Sloan drops the shower head and ends as wet as Charlotte.
"Fuck." Sloan exclaims, for an instant not remembering the little girl inside the tub.
"Fuck!" Charlie happily replies. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" She continues while splashing water with her little hands.
"Oh sh- crap." Sloan mutters. "Don't say this word, munchkin. It's a very bad word. Auntie Sloan shouldn't have said it in front of you." She says, trying to stop her. Charlie looks at her, confused. "It'll be our little secret, ok?"
Once she's done, she dries Charlotte (and herself) and changes the kid into her pajamas. Then, she steals a pair of yoga pants and a tank top from Mackenzie's drawer and puts them on. She lays down on the guest bed to read Charlie a bedtime story, with the intention of putting her into her toddler-bed once she's asleep but Sloan falls asleep ten minutes after Charlotte.
Sloan wakes up the next morning in an empty bed. She panics for a moment until she realizes Will and Mac are already home. She gets up and goes to the kitchen, walking into the picture of the perfect family: Will cooking breakfast, Mac feeding her daughter while stealing glances at the open newspaper on the kitchen table.
"Morning." Sloan tells them. She kisses her niece's head and plops down in the chair next to Mac. Will hands her a cup of coffee before returning to the stove. "I fell asleep."
"We noticed." Will teases her. "Nice clothes, by the way."
Confused, Sloan looks down at what she's wearing and then remembers she stole Mac's clothes. "Yeah, right. I had a little accident while giving the munchkin her bath."
"No problem." Mac tells her after taking a sip from her mug.
Will puts a plate in front of her and another in front of Mac and hands them a fork. Sloan, still half-asleep, drops her fork and it ends on the floor, accompanied by a loudly noise.
"Fuck!" Charlotte happily squeals from her high chair.
Sloan wants to burst out laughing but the murderous look on both Will and Mackenzie faces' strictly directed at her, makes her think twice before doing anything.
"Sorry?"
iv. The Shopping Trip.
Maybe taking a four-years-old kid to the mall wasn't her best idea. Mac and Will are getting their apartment ready for a surprise birthday party for Charlotte and Sloan has ended with babysitting duty. She knows she's spoiling the kid, the two bags full of toys are enough evidence of that fact, but she's her godmother and it's Charlie's birthday so, what the hell. But, on the other hand, she fears Mackenzie's reaction so she decides to buy the girl some cute clothes to balance the gifts.
Charlie has inherited her mother's love for clothes and shoes so the little girl goes crazy at the store while Sloan has a difficult time keeping up with her, regretting her early decision of wearing heels instead of flats. Sloan grabs things that she thinks will look cute on Charlotte but her niece dismisses all of them. She has her father's determined look on her face and Sloan is a bit scared of the possible consequences. Charlie suddenly stops in front of a manikin and her eyes grow bigger.
"Wanna try that on?" She asks Charlie and the girl quickly nods. Sloan grabs the outfit from the rack and takes Charlotte to a changing room. She helps her put on the outfit and smiles at the result.
"I look like Mama!" Charlotte happily exclaims.
"Yes, you do." Sloan replies, grinning. She really does: deep blue skirt, cream blouse and a cute little blazer, the spitting image of her mother. "You need shoes to go with that outfit." Charlie's face brightens at the thought of new shoes and Sloan can't help falling even more in love with her than she already is. "Excuse me!" She calls the girl working at the changing rooms.
"How can I help you?" She politely asks.
"Could you find me a pair of shoes for her that match her outfit?"
The girl kneels in front of Charlie to look at the clothes. "You look very professional, young lady."
"Like Mama!" Charlotte proudly tells her.
"Does your Mama wear heels?" The girl asks Charlie.
"Yes!" She replies.
"Oh God." Sloan mutters. "Don't tell me you have heels for kids." She tells the girl.
"Don't worry. The heel is only one inch high."
"Her mother's gonna kill me, you know?" Sloan says; the girl simply smiles at her. Sloan looks down at Charlotte and at her big puppy eyes. The kid knows her better than she should. Resigned, Sloan nods at the salesgirl.
She quickly returns with the pair of shoes and Charlie tries them on. Sloan has to admit that she looks cute so she calls her name and snaps a picture as soon as Charlie turns to look at her.
"I wanna wear this, Auntie." Charlotte tells her.
So the salesgirl cuts the price-tags and Sloan pays for the clothes and the shoes. Maybe she'll be able to convince Charlie to change before Mackenzie picks them up. Maybe Mac will see the clothes once Sloan is far away, safely locked into her own apartment. Maybe she'll have to look for a new job. But when Charlotte hugs her legs and tells her "You're the best, Auntie!", her heart melts and, for a few seconds, she doesn't care about the fucking consequences.
Until they walk out of the store and she hears her name being called. She turns around to find a very surprised Mackenzie looking at them.
"Oh, shit." Sloan mutters.
v. The Email Disaster
"I have a secret." Five-years-old Charlotte announces as she steps into Sloan's office.
"Ok." Sloan replies, confused.
"Mama says I can't tell anyone." She emphasizes, going around the desk and climbing onto her aunt's lap.
"Why?" Sloan asks.
"I don't know. She wants to wait or something." Charlie tells her, shrugging her shoulders. "But I tell you everything, Auntie! I always tell you my secrets!" She exclaims. "I'm the only one who knows it. She didn't tell Daddy."
This last statement makes Sloan wonder. What could Mac be hiding from Will?
"Maybe I can write it and you find it? Then you'll know but I didn't tell you." Charlotte says, interrupting her thoughts. Sloan's amazed at how her little mind works. Should she agree? Mac must have a good reason if hasn't told anybody yet. On the other hand, Sloan is now very curious about the secret.
"Alright." She finally agrees.
"Close your eyes." Charlie instructs her.
Sloan does as told. She hears Charlie typing on her computer and, for a moment, she fears about the result but this kid has grown up in a newsroom, surrounded by computers; she knows her way around Windows better than her.
"Done." Charlie says a minute later. "Now I go hide and you read it, ok?" Sloan nods.
Charlie kisses her cheek and climbs down before she runs out of her office. Sloan looks at her screen and sees her Outlook is open. She clicks the open email tag and reads what Charlotte wrote for her: Mama says I'm gonna have a new baby brother or sister!
Her mouth hangs open. Mackenzie is pregnant! She wants to save the email but, instead, she hits send. She slaps her forehead with her hand but, a second later, she laughs at her stupidity: it's her own account, she has just sent the email to herself.
Then, a few seconds later, she hears commotion on the newsroom: there are a lot of phones beeping and she swears she heard Mac exclaim a profanity out loud. She gets up and leaves her office, stopping at the handrail to look downstairs.
"SLOAN!" Mackenzie yells while stepping out of her office.
"Mackenzie?!" Will calls his wife from the door of his one.
Sloan takes her Blackberry out of her pant's pocket and looks at the email she just received, from herself. She opens it and notices that little Charlotte, instead of typing Sloan's name on the To section, wrote staff without realizing it.
"Fuck."
vi. The After Party
Will is reading the newspaper and sipping his cup of coffee when Charlotte wanders into the kitchen, half asleep and rubbing her eyes. She immediately goes to his side and sits on his lap before resting her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes.
"Morning Daddy."
"Good morning, pumpkin." He replies after kissing her cheek.
"Why is Auntie Sloan sleeping on our sofa?" She asks him with the mixed-accent he adores.
How do you explain to your six-years-old daughter that her mother and her aunt went to Tess bachelorette party and drank themselves stupid? Instead, he tells his daughter an edited version. "She wasn't feeling well." And that's not a lie. "So Mama told her to stay here so we could take care of her." Sloan, a little bit sober than Mac, took her best friend home and Will, seeing the state Sloan was in, didn't let her grab another cab to go home.
"Why couldn't Uncle Donny take care of her?" Charlie innocently asks.
"Because he wasn't home." Will lies, internally cringing at the lie.
"Is Mama sick too? Because I heard her being sick."
"Oh God." Will mutters. "Stay here while I go check on Mom. I'll be right back to make your breakfast, ok?"
Will gets up and gently places his daughter on the chair he was occupying. He quickly leaves the room and leaves Charlotte all alone. Curious, Charlie jumps off the chair and walks to the couch. She kneels in front of it and leans forward, her nose almost glued to Sloan's face.
"Auntieeeee." She softly says. "Auntieeeeeeee." She repeats, a bit louder this time, when Sloan doesn't answer.
Sloan groans and opens one eye, trying to understand the world around her. "Charlie?" She asks, perplexed.
"Does your tummy hurt? Daddy told me you're sick. Mama's sick too. Daddy went to see if she's ok. Why are you sick? Am I gonna get sick too? Because I don't want to! Uncle Jimmy is taking me to the Aquarium tomorrow and if I'm good, he'll buy me an stuffed animal. Do they have stuffed jellyfish? Mama is scared of them but she won't be if it's not real, right? Or I can use the stuffed jellyfish to scare her when she tells me to do my chores. Do you think it'll work? Or it can make her get mad at me and I don't want Mama to be mad at me. What do you think?" Charlotte finally ends her rant.
"What?" Is the only thing Sloan manages to say.
"Do you want to cuddle? Mama cuddles with me when I'm sick and it always makes me feel better." Charlie offers. "She gives the best cuddles."
"I'd like that." Sloan replies.
Carefully, because her head hurts as hell, Sloan makes room for Charlotte to lay in front of her and, once the girl is in place, she puts her arm around her petite body to prevent her from falling from the couch. Charlie snuggles close to her and they both sigh deeply.
"YOU give the best cuddles, munchkin." Sloan whispers into Charlie's ear.
"Even better than Uncle Donny?" Charlie softly asks her, half asleep one again.
"Yeah, but don't tell him that."
When Will returns ten minutes later, he finds them already asleep.