Fred, Hermione and the Order of Expulsion
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Fred Weasley unfortunately (T^T).
"Now if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed - or worse, expelled." Expulsion: A fate worse than death. What happens when Hermione's worst fears are realized? Hermione embarks on the ride of her life. Watch out, the Weasley twins are at the helm.
Hermione felt the clang before she heard it. The scraping sound of metal on metal and the reverberation of heavy armored boots on the stone floor.
"In days of old when knights were bold," sang a tinny voice, "and toilets weren't invented."
Hermione could see a tall figure march around the corner. The rusty metal of their helmet reflecting the corridor lights.
"They dumped their load..." With a crash the suit of armor toppled to the ground, sending chain mail and protective plating sliding in every direction. Before the disembodied armor had stilled the sabaton feet began a rhythmic march and the phantom voice once again began chirping from the helmet.
"... Upon the road. And walked away contented".
Curious as to the source of the strange spectacle Hermione made her way down the hallway to a dimly lit staircase that lead to the corporeal knight's usual location. From the bottom step Hermione could hear gleeful voices emanating from between the long line of rigid troops. She listened carefully to catch the next words.
"Bravo my good sirs, 'tis been a great honor to assist thou! Thus? Thee? Ye? Anyway, you get the point." The other voices then continued, and Hermione's heart was filled with an uneasy sense of foreboding.
As she turned the corner taking the last step off the stairs she could already see the red headed duo engaged in the latest of their antics. Fred and George stood there surrounded by the mess of armor they had just been toying with.
"Encantess," Fred pointed his wand at another breast plated chest, the guard jumping to attention as magic met metal. "Hmm," Fred tapped his wand against his chin, thinking. "let's make this one imitate Umbridge."
"Uhg I can't believe that woman!", said George. "Cedric Diggory's birth was a tragic accident." His voice lilted up in imitation of Umbridge's infernal tones.
"Tragic accident my butt," said Fred. "The real tragic accident was her birth". Fred flicked his
wand and the soldier began to blather.
"I must have complete order! Deep down you must know that you deserve to be punished George Weasley. You should be ashamed to have a hair color that clashes so terribly with pink"
"Oi, I actually look quite fetching in fuchsia I'll have you know." George looked offended.
Hermione smacked her forehead with the palm of her hand. She had seen enough. She let out a long sigh before straightening her posture. Clenching her fists in determination she strode
towards the twins.
"I should have known you two were behind all this ruckus." She huffed in a frighteningly familiar Mrs. Weasley-ish manner. "You two never cease to amaze me. You do realize that it's against the rules to fool around with the school's ancient magical artifacts. Why, its even plainly outlined in the School Rules and Guidelines section of Hogwarts a History."
"Did you hear what she said George? She thinks we are amazing." Fred crooned, facing George before turning and batting his eyelashes in the direction of the bushy haired brunette.
"I'm flattered Hermione, really.", George snickered giving Fred a wolfish grin.
"Were you listening to a word I was saying?" Hermione questioned. "You could get in major trouble for this. You two never take anything seriously."
"I'm wounded." Pouted Fred. "I take a great many things seriously - this morning's French toast for example."
"That was really good," George agreed, "although I preferred the scrambled eggs myself."
"ENOUGH!" Hermione shrieked emphatically before glaring at Fred and George. "If you won't do the responsible thing I will!"
"Hermione wai..."
"Normelic." Every suit of armor along the wall began to move in jerky, twitching motions.
"I must have, must have OrdEr!"
"What's going on?" Hermione shouted, covering her ears from the sudden swell of metallic voices.
"We jinxed the armor so that it if anyone tried to return them to normal they would start going crazy."
"You deserve to be punished, for Cedric Diggory death … tragic accident."
…
Umbridge took in a deep breath, both of indignation and in preparation to give the group of miscreants their just reward. Adjusting the lining of her pink knitted sweater Umbridge marched into the room. "Well! I! Never! Detention! Detention for all of you! And Miss Granger, well I can't say that I'm surprised to see you had a wand in all of this. I always knew you were the troublemaking sort. A result of poor muggle breeding of course." She sniffed.
"Professor Umbridge!" Hermione flushed, horrified that she was being wrongly accused of such a juvenile escapade.
"She had nothing to do with this." Fred insisted. "She was just telling us off actually. You must know that Hermione isn't the type of person to do this sort of thing. She is much too level headed. It's not her fault we don't know when to listen."
"Well isn't that nice." Umbridge said with an unconvinced smile. "It's such a shame that I can always tell when people are lying. Enough excuses! You will all receive a months' worth of detention, and if I hear another word out of any of you, it will be two. Am I making myself clear?"
The three nodded.
"Good." She giggled. "Weasley, other Weasley you will come to my office promptly at six o'clock tomorrow evening. I'll see you tonight at eight, Miss Granger."
A/N: Hope you enjoyed the first chapter of this co-written fanfiction between me and my sister. Please favorite, follow and review. We would love to hear your feedback.