Author's Notes: I wrote this for the FMA Secret Santa Exchange. It's pretty amusing.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

It all happened because of a series of circumstances - unfortunate ones, if you were to ask Roy or Fullmetal - but once it had started, there was nothing they could do but roll with it. Normally, Roy didn't mind it. He liked when his well-executed plans did as he expected, but he had learned that the ability to improvise was key if he was going to make it to the top. Still, that was typically Fullmetal's area. The kid had some plans, clearly proven by his State Alchemist title at the age of twelve, but he was still a kid.

Which was one of the reasons why they found themselves in such an awkward position.

For the most part, Roy and his team stayed in East City. It was where he was stationed and where he had to be in order to remain close to people going to the top. If he was shipped off to some country town, there was a chance that he would never recover. You couldn't make a career in a town where the sheep population rivaled the people. However, when the intel that the men accused of robbing five banks in the eastern and southern parts of Amestris were hiding out in one of those towns, he left the city without hesitation.

They had gotten the information from none other than Edward Elric. He and his brother had been staying in the town searching for some old textbooks when he'd recognized one of the wanted men in the local grocery store. No one else would've known who they were unless they worked in the military and the town was small enough where there weren't soldiers regularly going through. The perfect thing about Fullmetal spotting them was that the bank robbers had no idea that they'd been pegged.

Having a kid as one of his subordinates came in handy sometimes.

Roy and Riza arrived a day later in plain clothes. They did not want to alert the criminals that the military was onto them. They had to take a train and then travel by car to the town. Fullmetal did not look happy to see them at their hotel room, arms folded across his chest while wearing a deep frown. He looked more like a child than Roy had remembered from the last time he'd been in East City. Just as petulant as well, judging by the look on his face.

"Fullmetal."

"Colonel." There was definitely an unspoken "bastard" left off at the end.

"It's good to see you, Edward," Riza spoke up.

Immediately the kid brightened up. Of course Riza had that effect. She was being nice, even smiling. It was like Fullmetal had put Roy out of his mind.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye!" Alphonse exclaimed from inside their room.

Riza pressed a finger to her lips. "It's Elizabeth today. We don't want to tip anyone off."

How a suit of armor was supposed to look abashed was beyond Roy, but somehow, Alphonse managed it. He nodded his head, his suit clanking anxiously. Roy could picture a child biting his lip and keeping quiet, but he had only ever seen a picture of Alphonse from when he was ten, shortly before he and Fullmetal had performed human transmutation. Alphonse was eleven now. Would he look different now?

"So what's the plan?" Fullmetal asked once they were all inside the hotel room.

"We need to corroborate the intel and then we can come up with a plan to capture them," Roy explained.

"You don't believe me?" Fullmetal demanded.

"I like to see things for my own eyes," Roy replied without missing a beat. Had he been as sensitive as Edward at his age? Maybe it was different since the kid was smack dab in an adult's world. Despite his teacher's harsh ways, Roy had still been allowed a childhood. Dropping his bag next to the foldout couch, Roy smacked his hands together and then put them on his hips. "Now, time to go sightseeing."

Fullmetal scoffed. "Why would anyone believe that you're here to sightsee? There's nothing here by sheep, cows, and corn."

Roy made his biggest lopsided grin and looped an arm around Riza's side, pulling her snug against him. "Because we're on our honeymoon and our car broke down, so we're staying here until the next train to West City arrives tomorrow." She rolled her eyes, but said nothing and didn't pull away from him. She knew that it was part of their cover and he was being over the top to tease Fullmetal. Sometimes, he really thought he loved her for how much she not only put up with him but went along with his antics.

Meanwhile, the poor kid became flustered, his face turning red as he pressed his lips together and turned away from them, folding his arms across his chest. "Whatever."

The small town wasn't much to speak of - there really was very little to sight see - but they made the most of their day. They checked out the market, buying a few items, and then the very local shops. All of the owners were enthusiastic to have new visitors and gushed over the young couple. It wasn't until the second shop though that they stumbled across their first huddle.

"It's so nice of you to take that young boy in," an elderly woman told Roy as he paid for a few trinkets at the front counter. She wore glasses nearly an inch thick and a shaky smile. Really, what were her kids thinking forcing this woman to work? She should've been relaxing at home, knitting or something by the fire.

Still, the comment threw Roy off. "Pardon?"

"Your wife's son," the woman continued. "He's obviously not your biological son - not with that hair and those eyes - but he looks up to you. It's so sweet."

Roy's eyes nearly bugged out of his head. It took all his willpower not to explode. How he was able to remain so passive was almost beyond him, but he didn't flinch. Instead, he turned to glance back where Riza and Fullmetal were looking at a shelf of sheep trinkets. They weren't much to look at, but they examined them together like it was something special. Fullmetal must've said something amusing because Riza smiled down at him and replied. Whatever it was, it had the kid ducking his head and smiling shyly in return.

It struck Roy quite suddenly how young Edward Elric was and how long it had been since his mother had died. Only a year since he'd tried to raise her back to life using human transmutation.

"Um."

He didn't know what to say. Part of him screamed to deny it, but then, it would cause people to start questioning just what he and Riza were doing here and who Edward really was. Small towns like this meant a lot of loose lips, which was really something they couldn't afford. If the criminals they were after found out that there was a group of mysterious people in town, just like them, then they'd get spooked. He pictured this woman telling the man who ran the little restaurant across the street about what she'd found out about Roy and Riza. The robbers ate there every night for dinner.

So, Roy did the only thing he could think to do that would control the situation as much as possible and cause the least amount of damage: he went with it. "He's a good kid. A little stubborn perhaps, but I'm proud to be his father." Leaning against the counter, he turned to face the other two in the back of the store. "Hey, son, do you want a soda?"

As if he hadn't even considered what Roy had just called him, Edward looked back at him. "A soda?"

"Yeah," Roy replied, "do you want one? It's a lot different than the ones from the city."

Edward shrugged his shoulders. "Sure, I guess-" And then it finally hit him and he looked as if he was going to choke on his own tongue. Only Riza putting a hand on his shoulder calmed him down. His face turned red again and he turned his back to Roy, grumbling something under his breath that only Riza could hear. Poor kid didn't even realize just how better it made the whole act.

"Add two sodas onto my order," Roy told the elderly shopkeeper.

The woman beamed at him. God, what had he gotten them into?

Just as Roy had suspected, it didn't take long for word to travel around the small town. After the third person had made a comment about their "blended family," Edward looked like he was going to throw a fit, so they decided to head back to the hotel. The kid just didn't know how to handle this new wrinkle. It didn't help that people had begun to ask how Edward was handling his new family.

"You all look so cute!"

"Such an inspiration for families."

"Now make sure you mind your father."

Roy had to clamp a hand over Edward's mouth before he could exclaim that Roy was not, in fact, his father and gave the sweet lady a big smile. "Sorry, he's getting so cranky from hunger. We should probably get back to our hotel room."

"Oh, why don't you come to my husband's place!" the woman told them, practically shoving them in that direction before any of them could respond. "Well, it's the only place to be honest, but it's better than surviving off of snacks from the hotel."

In a matter of minutes and with very little chance to protest, all three of them found themselves standing just inside the doorway of the small restaurant that they'd been casing out earlier. This woman would've made an excellent recruiter for the military. She found them a table, gave them menus, and was off without so much as a goodbye.

"What are we doing here?" Edward mumbled as he looked over the menu. "Alphonse is probably worried about us. We've been gone all morning and afternoon."

"I believe we're eating," Roy pointed out, "son."

Edward gripped the menu tightly and wiggled in his chair. "Stop calling me that."

"We have to keep up this charade for now," Roy replied without looking at him. The menu was simple, but it was promising at least and he was really hungry. "A family does make us look less suspicious."

"Well, you can be my dad," Edward snapped, "but I don't have to be happy about it."

Roy shot him a grin. "Likewise."

Riza sighed from behind her menu. "Please stop fighting, you two."

"Fine," Edward mumbled. Roy cleared his throat. "Mother."

It shouldn't have been amusing, but seeing Edward squirm almost made Roy chuckle. Admittedly he had been a little concerned that this whole family charade might upset the kid, but it just irritated him. Not that it was difficult to do. Edward seemed to be in that stage of puberty where everything was annoying.

Just in that moment, the door swung open and three of the four criminals that they were surveying walked in and took a table. They had been here long enough that the staff knew how to great them. None of them were mean and actually were quite pleasant, but then they had to be, lest the villagers get the wrong idea of them. A small town also meant that they would not hesitate to oust anyone unwelcomed. However, judging from the peculiar friendliness of one of the men, they weren't as unknown as originally suspected.

"I think one of them might actually be from or around here," Roy pointed out after their drinks were refilled.

"I was just thinking the same thing," Riza added, taking a sip of her sweet tea. "He knows the waitress and not just in the 'regular at a restaurant' sort of way."

"How do you know?" Edward questioned.

Roy inclined his head towards the kitchen door. "See how he always speaks up first and the waitress always defers to him? Their close proximity? Her casual demeanor with him compared to the others?" Edward attempted to covertly look at what was going on at the other table, but just sort of looked like he was oggling the young waitress like, well, a kid going through puberty. "That's not flirting. No awkwardness, no blushing, no fidgeting. She's very comfortable with him. She knows him."

"That would be why no one in town seems concerned with them, unlike us," Riza said.

"Which will make it a little more difficult to apprehend them without any complications," Roy murmured as he set his menu back down on the table. They might have to even call in reinforcements. He did not want to admit to being wary of using his alchemy in such a small town, especially one that had been in the borders of the Ishval War, but if it came to it, he would not hesitate to use it. "Do you know where they're staying?"

Edward shrugged his shoulders. "Not at the hotel."

"Hm." Roy looked around the restaurant. "Can you go to the counter to get the waitress' attention? She hasn't been back in a while."

Although Edward looked affronted by the idea, his stomach growled at the same time. The kid seemed to always be hungry. Did he eat enough on the road? Not that it mattered to Roy. He just didn't like the idea of one of his subordinates passing out from hunger while on the job.

Grumbling under his breath, Edward stood up and made his way to the front, all without realizing that Roy had followed him. The second he neared the table of the criminals they were watching, unable to avoid them on his way, Roy bumped into Edward just enough to trip him up and send him sprawling right into the man who seemed as if he was from this town. The action caused Edward to knock the man's drink over and spill it all over him. Everyone at the table jumped back into shock while Edward sputtered and tried to regain his balance.

"Oh my god!" Roy exclaimed as he reached out to help Edward. "I'm so sorry!"

"What in the-?" Edward immediately tried to fight back, but Roy held onto him tighter.

"He's so clumsy," Roy continued as he helped Edward stand up, keeping his hands on Edward's shoulders to stop him from rearing at either one of them.

The criminal who had his drink spilled on him sat in shock, looking down at the damage. Considering that they were in a small town, Roy knew for a fact that the man's clothes were not cheap. The stain was serious. He had the same outfit back in his closet. It would cost some money to get it dry-cleaned. "Do you know who made this?"

"I…" Roy blinked. "I'm not into fashion."

"This is designer!" the man exclaimed.

"I'm so sorry," Roy repeated. "My boy… Well, my wife's son… He has a tendency to not look where he's walking. He didn't mean it."

The man glared up at them and the rest of his friends looked equally ready to fight. "You think I care that your woman didn't teach her boy how to walk?"

Roy feigned nervousness, lifting his hands from Edward's shoulders to raise them up in surrender. He had been worried that Edward might explode and try to fight all of them, but Edward seemed too preoccupied with staring agape at all of them in silence. That was for the best. The both of them knew that Roy could take all of them out right now, but then they would miss the ringleader that was probably at their base right now.

"Look, I don't have the cash on me now, but if you give me the address of where you're staying, I'll send you the money to have it cleaned," Roy told them, sounding almost pitiful. Edward looked as if he was choking on his tongue, kind of like a son would if he caught his father sniveling to other people. "We're just in town for the night until the next train comes in. I don't want any trouble. It'll upset my wife."

All of them glanced back simultaneously as Riza, who was watching the situation with curiosity. Their waitress had showed up too. She looked more nervous, clinging to her notepad tightly, but was just as close-lipped. Maybe she was in on the whole thing. They would have to question her regardless. The men at the table seemed to loosen up at the sight of Riza though. A pretty woman almost always disarmed men.

"It's your all's honeymoon from what I heard, right?" the man asked. Roy nodded his head while Edward made a grunting noise. "Well, you're lucky I'm feeling generous." He wrote down the address of where he was staying on a napkin and handed it to Roy. "Don't skip out on me without paying me back or that kid's gonna be looking for a new dad again."

Roy smiled blandly. "Wouldn't dream of it. Thank you."

Another one of the guys leaned back to get a closer look at Riza. "Pretty thing you've got there. I wouldn't leave her alone for too long."

"Thanks for the warning," Roy replied, injecting as much nervousness into his voice as possible. Not that he really had anything to worry about. Any one of these guys would be sorry to bother Riza. He knew for a fact that she had least three concealed guns on her person. She never left home without one.

Before Roy could steer Edward back to the table, the guy with the ruined suit piped up, "Hey, I think you forgot something."

Both Roy and Edward turned around and Roy asked, "Pardon me?"

"An apology," the guy said, a smug grin edging its way onto his face.

"What?" Edward exclaimed, unable to stay silent any longer. "I'm not-"

"Apologize to him," Roy told him, trying very hard to make it not sound like an order from a commanding officer but more like from a parent. He honestly didn't know what that sounded like now that he thought about it. Master Hawkeye's commands could send fear right through Roy's heart and half the time Madam Christmas didn't even have to say anything to get Roy to hop to it at Edward's age.

The idea that he didn't really know how to be a parent struck Roy so suddenly that he almost faltered.

"Are you kidding me?" Edward demanded, glaring up at Roy.

"No, I'm not," Roy replied. "Apologize to him."

Edward pressed his lips together, as if refusing to let any apologetic words slip out of his mouth, and continued to glare at him in defiance. Roy almost sighed. Had he been this much of a little shit at this age? Or did it come from Edward knowing so much beyond his years? This kid had the rank of Major, after all. Unbelievable…

"I'd listen to your pops if I were you kid," a third man said.

Quick as a whip, Edward reared on them. "He's not-" But then he clamped his mouth shut and frowned at all of them. By now, Riza was getting more curious and gave Roy a look asking whether she needed to jump in, but he gave her a tiny shake of his head and she stilled in her seat. Edward clenched his fists at his side, but then took a deep breath, looked to the side, and grumbled, "I'm sorry."

The three men at the table laughed. Roy could tell that Edward was not turning red from embarrassment but anger and he needed to get them away from the table as quickly as possible. He promised to send the money to fix the suit to the address given and practically pushed Edward back to the table.

The waitress opened her mouth, but Roy cut her off and spoke directly to Riza, "Darling, I realized after that whole incident that I left my wallet back in our room at the hotel. Maybe we should just order something from there."

"Is everything alright?" Riza asked.

Roy chuckled anxiously. "Oh, yeah, you know your boy - clumsy as can be."

Riza raised an eyebrow, but said nothing as she stood up from the table. Roy apologized to the waitress and all but rushed them out of restaurant. Edward seemed too overwhelmed with the suddenness of everything to make a scene and Riza knew to comply without any arguing.

Right before they stepped outside, one of the criminals shouted, "See you soon, sweetheart!"

Riza turned around as if to say something, but Roy slid an arm around her waist and said loud enough for others to hear, "Ignore it, love," and tugged her out the door. The three of them made their way back to the hotel with an inspired sense of speed without speaking. Electricity crackled between all of them as they hurried down the street. Edward kept looking back over his shoulders while Riza watched their sides and Roy looked straight ahead.

They got back to the hotel in no time. However, the moment Roy shoved Edward into his room, Edward spun around on them, Alphonse leaping up nervously behind him, and shouted, "What the hell was all that about?"

Slipping his hands into his pockets, Roy coolly responded, "Just getting some info."

"I've got coffee all over me!" Edward exclaimed. "And we looked like...like..." He was red in the face by now. It wasn't anger, Roy realized. It was embarrassment. He was twelve years old and even worse he'd been made to look like it. Edward was an alchemy prodigy. He wasn't used to being his own age. "We looked like idiots!"

"Well," Roy replied, "we're not supposed to look like military."

"You could've blown them to smithereens and gotten them to answer everything," Edward said.

"And I would've looked like a domineering, arrogant jackass doing it," Roy countered. "You don't get it, do you? People hate alchemists around these parts. During the Ishval War, many places were destroyed by alchemists in order to end it." He could still picture buildings blowing up due to his own alchemy. It was too raw, too fresh in his memory. He could smell the smoke. "You want everyone in this town to turn against us? They'll choose those criminals over us."

Edward scoffed and folded his arms across his chest. "I didn't serve in the Ishval War. I didn't do anything."

"You've still got that silver pocket watch, don't you?" Roy snapped. "Don't kid yourself, Fullmetal. They'll hate you the same as me."

For the first time since Roy had met him, he saw Edward falter. It was just a flicker, a moment of hesitance crossing his face, but it was enough to let Roy know that he'd gotten under the kid's skin. Good. Some lessons were harder than others to learn. The hardest one that Edward would learn would be that he was hated just as much as he was loved for his status as a State Alchemist. Innocent as he may be, human transmutation notwithstanding, the public's view of him was tainted by his title.

"So we can't do anything because we don't want the military to look bad," Edward surmised, sounding as moody as any twelve year-old boy.

"Every soldier is the face of the military and our actions reflect on it," Roy told him, regaining his collectedness. Riza would comment on him losing control later. It was her duty to point these things out. He didn't like it, but he needed to be reminded of every mistake he made. If he was going to make it to the top, he couldn't make silly mistakes like that. "To be frank, the military has the lowest rate of approval in the East. It's our duty to fix it."

"Normally catching crooks does that."

"Not when they're a part of the community." Roy knew that he hadn't appeased Edward, but it was enough. He seemed to have calmed down and whatever tension lay between them was the usual. With a flick of his wrist, he pulled out the card with the criminals' address written on it, holding it between his fingers. "Tomorrow. We know where they're staying. It'll be quick and quiet."

At least Roy hoped so. Edward was not known for "quick and quiet".

With a wave of his hands, signaling that he was done and tired, Edward turned his back on them and retreated to the bathroom. Alphonse asked if they wanted tea, but Roy declined and he and Riza retired to their room. It was a room with one bed, keeping up with their cover as a couple on their honeymoon, but luckily it came with a couch that Roy had already proclaimed as his. There would be no awkward fighting for the bed. Both of them knew that Roy would sleep better on the couch. He did so at home often and had fallen asleep numerous time on the chase in the study back at Riza's home when they were kids.

"Them being from here complicates things," Roy pointed out as he gathered his things to take a shower. "The town will be on their side no matter what."

"We'll have to use more force," Riza said, "and that will make us look bad."

"Why do you have to do our job and look good doing it?" Roy complained. He caught his reflection in the mirror in the bathroom. He was only in his mid-twenties, but he felt so much older. This job was going to give him gray hair. He didn't like that much either.

Riza smiled. "Now you sound like Edward."

Roy shot her a sharp look. "That sounds close to an insult."

"My apologies, sir," Riza replied, though the fondness wasn't completely out of her voice.

She ducked her head as she took her pajamas out of her suitcase. Light pink long sleeve button up shirt and pants. Very modest. And yet it still caused Roy's throat to constrict. They were going to sleep in the same room tonight. Sure, they'd shared tents in Ishval, but it had never been just them too. Hughes had usually been there or another soldier. That was just how it was.

This would be the first time since they were kids that they shared a room while sleeping. It had been awkward then too. Couldn't have been otherwise. Two teenagers going through puberty sleeping just five feet away from each other. Roy had been miserable.

Shit, he was miserable now.

It was too soon to make a joke about it. Part of him wanted to tease her about joining him for a shower, even though he knew that both of them would understand that it was just a joke, but another part of him knew that it was too soon. One day, he could say something like that and she'd just roll her eyes, but right now, if he said anything flirtatious, he knew that she'd blush and feel uncomfortable. It had been over two years, but some things were still raw.

(He tried very hard not to think about how he wanted to fight over the bed until they finally conceded to share it - because they were professional and they could remain that way - just so he could be close to her, breathe her in, feel her near him, until they woke up entangled in one another's arms- No, no, they couldn't do that. It was just a dream. He couldn't let himself think that way. There was a long road ahead of them.)

They went about the rest of their night in silence, readying themselves for a morning that they could not be prepared for. No matter how many plans Roy came up with though, he always seemed to forget one thing now: Edward liked a put a wrench in plans.

When Roy woke the next day, it was to the smell of fresh coffee. He opened up his bleary eyes to find that Riza was humming to herself and walking around the room, already dressed for the day in a pair of reasonable slacks and a sweater. He rubbed at his face and pushed himself up in the sitting position on the couch. Thankfully, his back didn't protest too much. Still young.

"What time is it?" he asked.

"Just a little after eight," Riza replied as she checked one of her handguns.

Roy flopped back on the couch and groaned. "Why are you awake then?"

"We're still working," Riza pointed out.

"I assure you HQ won't know if you sleep in out here."

While Riza gave a noncommittal noise in response, Roy grunted irritably. Still, he dragged himself off the couch and found his way to the small table where a second cup of coffee sat. She had been quiet while getting ready, careful not to wake him up before, but she kept him on time as well. He didn't like it. He'd kept his own schedule while studying alchemy under her father. Oftentimes, he had to eat the poor breakfast she made cold because he'd been up late leafing through textbooks the night before. The military didn't care about that though. He'd learned that the hard way.

"Still not a morning person, I see," Riza said. It was one of the few times she hinted to something more personal between them. He'd noticed that she kept more of a distance from their past than he did. Maybe it was because she was better at being professional than him. She had come to him, but he'd asked her to be his adjutant. He had to work on that.

"I don't need to get up when the sun rises to do my job," Roy grumbled, cradling the cup of coffee like it was his lifeline to the world.

Riza smiled, but said nothing else. This was very much like one of their breakfasts back when he had been her father's alchemy apprentice. It didn't sting as much as it used to these days.

After getting ready, they knocked on the room across from them. Alphonse answered, of course, letting them know that Edward was still sleeping. He slept a lot. It was strange. Edward was a ball of energy when he was awake, but he had an even worse habit than Roy of falling asleep in all sorts of places and for long periods of time. It took very little time for Edward to get ready once he woke up (ah, the hygiene of a near teenager). He met them in the living room, yawning, before stuffing a bagel in his mouth.

"Now what?" Edward mouthed around the bagel.

Roy tried not to roll his eyes. "Now we catch the bad guys."

Edward swallowed a bit and took the bagel out of his mouth. "He just gave you their secret address like that?"

"To fix a four hundred thousand cenz suit?" Roy waved a hand. "I'm surprised he didn't follow us here to make sure I gave him the money on the spot."

"So what's the plan?" Edward asked.

"We go there, we capture them - quietly."

"What about me?" Alphonse asked.

"We need you to stay outside, in case any of them try to escape," Riza told him. When she noticed Alphonse's slight disappointment, she put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm used to staying behind and watching outside as well. It's not very fun, but it's extremely important. When someone knows their back is being watched, they feel a lot safer."

That perked the boy right up. The suit of armor was so big that Roy had to remind himself that Alphonse was a year younger than Edward. He was talented enough to take the State Alchemist exam as well, but the rigorous and invasive questioning would've been too much for him. Edward could hide. Alphonse could not. They couldn't let anyone else in the military know that there was nothing inside that suit but a soul. He would've made for an excellent subordinate unlike Edward, who was unruly as they came.

As they made their way to the house where the criminals were staying, a few people greeted them on the street. Everyone was so friendly here. It reminded Roy of the towns just on the outskirts of the Hawkeye house. Those had been small as well. He'd gotten to know everyone there by the time his first year of apprenticeship ended. There wasn't room for cold or elusive people in towns like these. He could never in a place like this, not anymore.

"Refrain from using alchemy," Roy ordered. "I'd like for this to be a clean capture."

Edward huffed. "Okay."

It was not okay. It was not clean. It was nothing like Roy planned.

First, the guy that had been making some offhand comments about Riza wouldn't leave her alone. The man had had the gall to tug on her hair, which she was growing out and was now at her shoulders, leaning in close enough to smell her. Thinking that Roy was just some pathetic husband, like he could do whatever wanted and Roy would do nothing. And he hadn't. He had made a move, but Riza had given him a sharp look that stopped him. For the mission. She could handle a creep.

It turned out that Roy did not have the same strength and resilience than she did. He had to bit his lip to keep himself from saying anything and clench his fists in his pockets. The smile on his face was so forced that it actually hurt and he knew that it only made his cover better, but he didn't like it. He hated playing such a weakling when he could've lit everyone in here like a bonfire.

However, Roy's ability to control himself didn't matter, not when Edward was right there. He literally shoved the man away from Riza, causing him to stumble back into a chair and fall over backwards. "Don't touch her!"

"Easy, kid," the ringleader laughed. He hung in the back, watching everything happen. Roy kept a careful eye on him as well. He was the most dangerous of the four. Out of all of them, he was the only one who had fired his weapon and killed two guards when they were robbing banks. He seemed so easy-going now. "He wasn't hurting your mom."

Edward glared at him, but said nothing. A small blessing, in Roy's opinion.

Until the creep crawled onto his feet. "That kid has a metal arm!"

Instinctively, Edward grabbed his automail arm. It was still new to him. He'd had it for little over a year. Roy knew from his research that automail surgery and recovery usually took three years, but Edward had done it in one so that he could get his State Alchemist license as quickly as possible. He was still getting used to it. Knowing its strength and weaknesses and knowing his own in return.

"An accident from when he was young," Riza reassured them, pulling Edward close to her like a mother would. None of them could see that she'd also pulled out her service weapon behind him.

The ringleader of the bank robbers tilted his head. "You know, I heard of a story recently - really inspirational - of a young boy who became a State Alchemist."

"Really?" Edward's jaw was clenched. "How young?"

"Oh, the ages vary depending on who you ask," the man continued in a lofty voice, "but the name is always the same: the Fullmetal Alchemist." He chuckled. "Now, of course, people assume that this alchemist is always covered in metal. It goes with the name, you know. But some…"

Edward was practically grinding his teeth. "Some what?"

"Well, some people say that he isn't covered in armor, but he has automail limbs," the man finished. In a flash, he had a gun out and pointed directly at Roy. Everyone in the room tensed up while the ringleader still looked as calm as could be. Roy thought back to the reports of the robberies. This man had killed without hesitation. He didn't show any signs of remorse. "Who are you?"

Riza didn't move a muscle. Roy pressed his lips together. Edward was almost growling.

Roy knew that look in Edward's eyes and it wouldn't do them any good. He took a step towards them, but froze when man squeezed the trigger, shooting right past Roy's head into the wall. Everyone flinched and it had to have taken everything in Riza not to pull her weapon out right then and there. It wouldn't have done them much good, not how that everyone else had their guns trained on them.

This was bad. This was very bad. Edward was going to lose it.

"Edward," Roy said as calmly as possible, "don't do anything stupid."

"Like hell," Edward snapped back.

The man they had dealt with at the restaurant laughed. "What did I say to you about listening to your father, kid?"

"He's not my father!" Edward screamed. He slapped his hands together and pressed a hand against his automail arm, causing an explosion of alchemy light burst into the room. Roy's eyes widened in surprise when he saw a large metal dagger cut through Edward's sleeve. He'd turned his arm into a weapon. It was, quite honestly, an incredible and unique feat of alchemy - one that he didn't have time to think about as Edward leaped to attack the man pointing a gun at Roy.

A few things happened at the same time: the ringleader squeezed off another shot; Riza had completely brought up her weapon to shoot; Edward had launched himself over the couch; and Roy threw himself to the side. Thankfully he missed getting shot and rammed into the man with the ruined suit. They tumbled to the ground together and Roy was able to knock the gun out of his hands. Without thinking, Roy punched him right in the face and knocked him unconscious.

There was so much commotion going on around him, so loud, that Roy was almost certain that the entire house would be destroyed. Gunfire, shouts, the explosive telltale signs of Edward's alchemy. It was a disaster. A fire roared inside of Roy, burning so hot that he knew it was the only thing he could do. He stood up, surveyed the scene, and snapped his fingers together. A simple spark turned into flames, knocking all of the assailants to the ground. Fire caught onto their clothes and on some of the furniture, causing them all to panic.

"The Flame Alchemist!" one sputtered.

Roy flapped his jacket and harrumphed in irritation. "And now you've ruined my suit." He fingered the hole that one of the bullets had caused upon flying through it. "This is much more expensive than what he was wearing."

"Why in the hell did you wear it here then?" Edward demanded, panting and sweating as he stood over one of the men to make sure he didn't get up.

"It was the cheapest one I own," Roy replied.

Smoothing his clothes, he walked over to the ringleader, stepping over broken furniture and wounded men. He carried the air of a man in uniform without being in one. None of the criminals moved, their eyes latched onto the white gloves that they'd ignored. Many city people were so squeamish about the country that they wore gloves. They hadn't suspected anything else from a man as cowardly as Roy had appeared.

The ringleader spit on the ground. "Dog of the Military."

"Sniffed you out well enough, didn't we?" Roy crouched down to his level. "You're under arrest for bank robbery, resisting arrest, attacking an officer of the government… Oh, I'm sure I can think of a few more."

The man nodded his head to Edward, who was helping Riza gather the other three criminals. "The child is your subordinate then?"

"The Fullmetal Alchemist, as you guessed," Roy said.

"How low do you have to be in order to use a child to get what you want?" the man demanded.

Roy smiled cruelly. "I've killed more men than you. I'm as low as they come."

When Edward glanced back at them, curiosity mixed with his usual irritation in his eyes, Roy let the cruelness slide out of him and turned it into a smug grin. It was the kind of look that pissed Edward off, the only kind that Roy wanted to let him see. It was easier that way. Edward didn't need to see Roy as anything else but a lazy, arrogant, power-hungry bastard. He didn't need to see the monster, the insecurities, the hopefulness, the desperation, the man. It wouldn't help either of them.

Once the criminals were taken care of though, the soldiers they'd called in for reinforcements last night picking them up, Riza found Roy alone in their hotel room. He wasn't getting their things together like he'd said, but drinking another cup of coffee. He couldn't drink. They were still working, after all.

"I noticed something during our attempt to apprehend the suspects," Riza said.

"Yeah?" Roy asked.

"Your flames started out around the ringleader," Riza pointed out. "It would've been better and safer for you to start out with the assailant closer to you."

Roy took a sip of the coffee. "Really? I didn't notice."

"Of course not," Riza replied, although she knew damn well that Roy had already mastered pinpointing his flames with his alchemy.

He had started with the man fighting with Edward, then to the men shooting at Riza, and finally the man he'd fought with. It had only been a few seconds difference, but seconds could be a lifetime on the battlefield. This hadn't been a battle, but it was the closest action he'd seen since leaving Ishval. Even now, he felt his heart racing. Maybe it was the coffee. Yeah, he'd blame it on that. He could blame a lot of things on something else. It was one of his many talents, including not thinking of things.

(He could look at Riza and not think of how unlikely it was that he would ever have a family. He could see her and not think of all the things that would pass him by. It was his own doing, after all. He'd made this choice and he had to stick with it. Didn't mean he wouldn't think about how it felt to be a father, even if it was fake and only for a day. Didn't mean it wouldn't hurt. He just had to be better at ignoring it. That was all.)