1)
No Surprises
( Song Artist: Radiohead)
A/N: Each chapter of this fanfic is named after a song. The song will generally relate to the chapter in some way- you don't have to, but it will make the fanfiction a bit better if you listen to the song while reading. Look it up on youtube. Since this is Snape, the songs will all be suitably miserable. You have been warned.
Oh, and if you know me and you're reading this, you may well find yourself slipped into these chapters. I'm in there too, in the background. See if you can spot me ;D
DISCLAIMER: Nothing is mine, on account of the fact I am not (yet) JK Rowling.
Severus Snape was exhausted.
In between coping with the Dark Lord, Albus Dumbledore (he was no longer quite sure who was worse,) grading poorly written excuses for potions essays, and trying to ignore the aching void of grief that had filled him for the past sixteen years, somewhere he had forgotten quite why he existed any more.
Oh yes- to protect James Potter's brat, the boy who glared at him every day, Lily's eyes filled with hatred. That hurt, those green eyes watching, judging, hating. A vision of a red haired girl burst into his mind and he felt the familiar pang of pain passing through the hollow space in his chest.
One thing was certain- he definitely didn't want to deal with this class today.
He looked up from the desk through a curtain of dark hair, features fixed into his habitual scowl. God, they were an odd mixture. Albus's idea, no doubt- encouraging inter-house co-operation or some such rubbish. As if that was going to happen; the classes might be mixed, but the houses stuck together, forming solid bands of yellow, blue, red and blue.
Except for that group at the back; that was puzzling. Three Hufflepuffs, two Ravenclaws, and two Slytherins all sitting together? That was odd. He stared at them, and they stared back, doubtless wondering why the potions master had walked into the class, banged his head off the desk, and was now scrutinizing them minutely.
He dimly recognised the Slytherins, a boy with dark hair and a habitually awkward expression, and a girl with dark brown hair and blue eyes that always seemed to be trying to stifle giggles. The former was a fair potion brewer; the latter mediocre at best. As for the Hufflepuffs and the Ravenclaws, their faces were vaguely familiar, but he couldn't place them.
He shook his tired, foggy brain into action. What was he doing? He suspected his sudden fascination with the little group was due to sleep deprivation more than anything else- still, he'd need to provide the class with some form of learning, since he suspected it was too much to hope for that they would simply bugger off to do whatever it was students did these days. Merlin knew. Smash something, or walk round in circles for hours on end.
Definitely sleep deprivation, he thought, checking that last thought. Such a shame that sleep was quite beyond him these days; he generally prowled the castle, walking in circles in the hope that sleep would find him. So far, he'd been able to snatch perhaps two hours or so of interrupted, nightmare ridden sleep per night.
Always the same nightmare. Those green eyes, glassy, empty, reproachful; one hand outstretched, the body on the floor. Seeing her walking away, arm in arm with Potter, and that pang in his chest again- Please! What would I do without you? - never spoken aloud. Emotion was weakness, and Severus Snape had spent his whole life wearing a mask.