I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.
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Roy was tired, it felt like he had been run over by a truck. He strutted towards his house. He had a long day, fighting Scar, keeping the Elric brothers out of too much trouble(and jail for that matter). He sighed as he thought of the comfy bed that was calling his name. Oh how he would just die for a cup of coffee.
"Roy," Riza's voice cut through the air like a fork through maple syrup and pancakes. "We're almost there. Also, don't forget about my 'surprise'." She smirked, wondering what kind of thoughts were going through his head.
Roy licked his lips lustfully, "I hope it's juicy, and sweet, and tender, and hot, and sirloin instead of the usual cheap steak."
Riza paused and opened the door.
"Okay, so today, I paid some people to install a new lighting system."
"Aww, I wanted steak!" Roy moaned in disappointment.
"It'll be easier to turn them on now. So instead of flicking the silly switch, you-"
"CLAPPERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Roy screamed in excitement as he walked in and started clapping his hands happily.
"No, not clappers," Riza sighed.
"Than what?" Roy asked matter-of-factly.
"Just place your thumb under your middle finger, and rush them in the opposite direction."
"Oh! I do that all the time!" Roy exclaimed as he snapped his fingers.
BOOOOOOOM!
*Wilhelm Scream*
"There went the steak."
Than, it started to rain. Hard.
"AGH!!!!!" Roy screamed in frustration at his own uselessness. "Why could I not keep just one hunk of tasty flesh, ONE steak, From dying and being cold?!"
"There, there," Riza comforted him, "Everything in life will meat it's end."
"It's not the same! It was my steak!" Roy bawled.
Riza sighed, she hadn't signed up for babysitting. "Well fine, it's different. But, you should fix this place now."
"I can't, I can't use power tools!"
"Fine then, you could hire 'Elric maintenance and repair' fixes this 'skylight'."
"B-but," Roy stuttered, "That would cost..MONEY, thus depleting my reserves for my campaign!"
"Good for you!"
Roy than went and cried some more.
XxXxXxXxXxXend!!!!!xxxxxdjglkdjfgkldfs
Muahahaha!
And that kids, is why you don't pull practical jokes on Roy when he's tired.
~Frail Dreams.