.
Minato tried to suppress his grin as he twirled the hat upwards, placing it on his jauntily on head. He forced himself to stop skipping and walk to the Academy. His promotion had given him a foolproof excuse to investigate that Iruka that even Kushina wouldn't be able to refute.
He was the Hokage.
As Hokage it meant he had a legitimate reason to walk into any place in the village without question. All he had to do was simply say he was following Sandaime's footsteps and keeping an eye on the pulse of the village.
Ever since he learned about Kakahi's crush his beloved wife had everything in her power to keep him "from interfering and ruining things for Kakashi forever." Quite frankly a pregnant Uzumaki seal master had a lot of power; including the ability to create a jutsu to teleport him to whatever swamp whose ickiness matched his curiosity level whenever he got close to Iruka without a legitimate reason.
Now that he was the Hokage, going to the Academy and inquiring about the students was a part of his formal description as he would be the one forming genin teams and assessing the future strength of the village. Just to be on the safe side he placed one of the seals for his Flying Thunder God jutsu in the signpost behind Ichiraku. Biwako insisted on being responsible for laundering his Hokage robes as Kushina's laundry skills did not meet her high standards for proper upkeep of the white garment.
He wasn't ashamed to admit he was a grown man afraid of a little old lady lecturing about getting his clothes dirty.
Now that he had an escape route plotted he resumed his light jog to the Academy. Minato cleared his mind and focused on learning about the strength of the village's children as he stepped through the gate. He looked around relieved to see that he was still on the school grounds and not the Forest of Death.
Emboldened by that discovery he strode confidently onto the playground. Several children dared each other to go touch him. He pretended not to hear but made note of which youngsters brushed against him as they searched for lost toys. That level of daring and sneakiness would be needed for future missions.
He had almost forgotten his true purpose when a little scar faced brunette with a button nose walked right up to him and asked, "Hokage-sama, doesn't that hat mess your hair up?"
Minato's eyes widened at his good fortune. "Why yes, Iruka, it does," he said taking it off and holding it at the child's eye level. "Maybe I wouldn't have that problem if I put my hair up in a smart ponytail like yours."
"But wouldn't that make your hat stick up real funny at the top?" the brunette asked brushing small fingers against the older man's skin as he lifted the hat from the Hokage's hands.
"Umino Iruka. Give that hat back and get back here! You know it's your turn to clean the classroom."
Iruka smiled. It was a bright smile whose accompanying blush made him hope for Kakashi's sake that Iruka wasn't the mystery child Kushina made him promise to put on her genin team. If so his shy student had less of a chance than he did. Cute little Iruka-chan was the only child who accepted the dare by walking right up to him.
Minato walked around the school a bit longer. He paused at each of the training grounds watching to see which students were actually training and which were playing ninja. Life with Kushina had taught him it wasn't always a serious demeanor that dictated success as a ninja so he made note of the ones playing to see how well they interacted with each other.
The hallways were mostly empty when Minato found the classroom Iruka had just escaped from. The girl had jumped out of the window in her haste to get back to the playground. Not wanting to seem eager or arouse suspicion, Minato made sure to inquire about all of this year's potential graduates. Shiranui-Sensei was the mother of one of his personal guards so he trusted her judgment on that merit alone.
"I heard you calling for Iruka earlier. Is there anything particular I need to know when forming genin teams?" he asked innocently trying to wheedle more information about Kakashi's crush from a reliable source.
"Iruka? Umino Iruka?" the woman asked flabbergasted. Iruka was a sweet boy and she didn't want to say anything negative about her students but she desperately wished the hokage had asked about any child other than that one. Iruka was a borderline class clown. She had a nagging but unproven suspicion that he was the one who placed the image of an exploding tag that made her destroy her own gradebook but otherwise average in every area but compassion.
She sighed heavily, "Let's just say that if Iruka were to be unleashed there is no doubt in my mind an other generation of Umino will head the chaos brigade."
"I see," Minato nodded somewhat impressed a Kakashi's choice in companion. The chaos brigade was an elite team that was more secretive than ANBU. It was made up entirely of refugees and the children of rape victims. Their unique heritages gave them access to jutsu and abilities for black ops that couldn't be traced back to Konoha.
"I see little Iruka-chan certainly does sound like something special," Minato said also forgetting that the chaos brigade was also where the village dumped misfits whose talents lay outside what the village was willing to lay claim to like the Kamizuki syrup capture jutsu.
Minato finished his conversation and decided to stop by the men's room on the way out of the building. He was close to rezipping when a young boy hastily unzipped at the urinal beside his –a young boy with a brown bushy ponytail, doe eyes, and a scar bisecting a button nose.
Minato teleported to his happy place when a tiny but familiar voice asked, "Hey Hokage, do you think mine will get that big one day?"
Kushina was sparring with Tsunade when she got that twisted feeling in her belly that had nothing to do with Naruto's acrobatic talents or the prenatal concoction Biwako insisted on giving her. This feeling was the one she got when Minato was in trouble.
It wasn't nearly as bad as when he and Kakashi went to blow up the bridge and came back with one less member. It was more like the time he went drinking with Jiraiya, Hiazashi, Shikaku, Akimichi-Jiji and Old Man Uchiha and they ended up naked in Grass Country.
The feeling distracted her enough that she overcompensated on her new jutsu, doubly reinforcing the barrier that Tsunade was pummeling and sending her distant cousin flying backwards into Biwako.
Kushina screamed, "Score one for the young lady" and let down the barrier enough for a clearly panicked Minato to pass through.
"She's a he. She has an it. I saw it. I saw her it. She's a he with an it," Minato babbled and sputtered as he ran to his wife careful not to impact her stomach, "Kakarumpbl."
Kushina quickly clamped a hand over his mouth not caring if she gave her husband a mouth full of fingers, "Sparring's over. Gotta go take care of the baby," she said activating the tag he'd given her and teleporting them into their bedroom.
Minato took a deep breath after spitting out Kushina's fingers then immediately began chattering, "Iruka is a he. It's a boy. The girl is a boy. We gotta tell Kakashi. How are we going to tell Kakashi? Oh my Kage, wait, can I say that anymore since I am the Kage?"
Kushina held her round belly with both hands as laughing Minato paced back and forth across the room alternately flailing his hands and pulling his hair as he babbled, "But she's a boy. Iruka is a boy. He's a she. I mean she's a he. She has an it. I saw it. I stopped to use the restroom and Iruka walked in and used the urinal beside me. I saw IT! He asked if his would grow to be as big a mine. Oh my Kage…Umino. He's an UMINO! That's Sake's kid! His will probably be bigger than mine!"
She didn't care that the carpet was starting to smoke as Minato's pacing became more hysterical but she did care about the quiet click of the front door and tiny spark of chakra that made itself known when Minato shrieked, "How are we going to tell Kakashi that his cute Iruka is a little boy who's probably going to grow up to be a man with a really big penis?"
Kushina stepped in front of Minato and grabbed his shoulders forcing him to stop, "Has it ever occurred to you that Kakashi is already aware of Iruka's gender?"
Minato's eyes widened and his face twisted, "He can't know that Iruka is a boy. If he knows that Iruka is a boy then that means that Kakashi likes boys."
Kushina sighed and counted waiting for the genius's brain to catch up with his mouth.
"Kakashi likes boys? But he's a boy. If Kakashi likes boys that means that ….Kakashi is a boy who like boys?" Minato puzzled again muttering, "Kakashi likes boys? Kakashi likes boys. I mean he doesn't really look at girls and has never said anything about them so I guess that makes sense if he likes boys. Hmm. Kakashi likes boys."
Kushina could feel the uncertainty coming from the room directly below them. She asked softly even though she knew Kakashi would still be able to hear what was being spoken, "Minato would it be so bad if Kakashi liked boys? Would you think less of him or love him any less?"
"What? No of course not. Why would I do a stupid thing like that? He's still the same Kakashi. How could you even think that?" he shrieked.
"I mean sure it's a little weird but not because he's weird or liking boys is weird. It's just that I had this whole speech planned about how to treat a girl and how not to get a girl pregnant; unless you wanted to get the girl pregnant and how to convince her to let him get her pregnant. And if you didn't ask first but got her pregnant anyway I'm working on a time space vocal jutsu so you can convince her not to remove your manparts and feed them to you from a safe distance."
Minato pouted, "I had it all planned out. What we would name our grandchildren and how Naruto would be his kids big brother like Kakashi's going to be Naruto's big brother. Or maybe a young uncle; I was still working on the exact details. You get the idea."
"We were going to have our own little clan. Me, you, Kakashi, Naruto, the rest of our kids, and the kids Kakashi had with Iruka. We were going to be the Namimakitakemino's, " Minato pouted.
Kushina smiled, "We can still be the Namimakitakemino's if that is what Kakashi and Iruka want. Sexuality is fluid and so are relationships. Kakashi is thirteen and Iruka is even younger. We don't know Iruka's preference or even if Kakashi's sexual identity has finished forming. We don't even know if Kakashi will still like Iruka ten years from now."
"He may decide he wants a relationship with a woman so he can have children or he may decide to adopt with Iruka or another male partner. He may even decide he wants a wife and a husband so they can have and adopt children," Kushina said loud enough for Kakashi to hear.
"You're right. I guess I just panicked. It's just Kakashi has been through so much already. There's nothing wrong with liking your own gender it's just there are so many people in the village who will expect him to carry on the Hatake name. That burden is difficult even when you like women. I don't even want to think about how many more problems I would have had if you hadn't sealed up and smacked around anyone who attempted to perpetuate the name Namikaze. Then there are the homophobes."
Minato rested his head on his wife's shoulder and sighed heavily, "I guess I just want his life to be as easy as possible."
"You idiot. Kakashi is a ninja. That occupational choice alone means his life will not be easy. But he isn't alone. He has the two of us, he'll have Naruto and depending on how things work out he'll have Iruka even if it's only as a friend."
Kushina broke into a wide grin, "Sake and Ryuko are pretty open-minded and very protective people. If that is what both children decide on then I'm sure once Kakashi has proven that he is worthy of Iruka we can sit back and let them handle all the naysayers."
"Yeah but…," Minato began.
"But what?" Kushina said sharply.
"I know nothing about man to man relationships. I won't be able to advise Kakashi properly when he has boy problems. Girl problems I can handle but what can I say if he asks about something beyond physical mechanics?" Minato paled, "Or what if he wants details about physical mechanics?"
"Is that it? Is that what you are so concerned about?" Kushina said relieved. "Have you forgotten about the conversation that started all this in the first place?"
"Huh?" Minato uttered shaking his head.
"Shinji. I spoke to him a long time ago when I discovered Kakashi's preference. We talked again when you told me about the harebrained scheme to involve Tsuande. He's willing to help and answer any questions we're unable to. Even if that means kidnapping Kakashi and becoming a missing nin to keep Tsunade away from him.
"He was already confused and that afternoon traumatized him in ways we'll never understand. He doesn't want Kakashi or anyone to ever feel like who they are is wrong for any reason. I'm not saying this will be easy for Kakashi but the brat will be fine so long as he knows how much we love him," Kushina said reassuringly.
"Yeah, we do love him don't we? I just hope Iruka doesn't break his heart. I'd hate to lose my position as Hokage for beating up a pre-genin," Minato said crashing his fist into his open palm with a finality that left the boy downstairs grateful he didn't run away the moment he heard his sensei discussing him.