So I saw The Dark World and HAD MY EMOTIONS SHATTERED INTO A HEAP OF RUINS UPON THE FLOR HOLY CRAP DID MOFFAT DIRECT IT OR SOMETHING DANG SON
So. Obviously, I couldn't leave it alone. Hopefully I've done (if you've seen it and feel the same) your tattered and shredded emotions justice.
Disclaimer: If I owners Thor, I would have a pet Tom Hiddleston. As I don't...
"I'm sorry-"
Sorry.
Is he really?
Does he really regret all the things that he's done? The pain he's caused? The havoc he's wreaked? Does he regret the lies, the tricks, the illusions that have made up his everyday life?
Yes.
And no.
He is sorry. But he's not.
"I'm sorry-"
He's sorry for mother. Frigga. Mother. Dear, dear, mother. Always ready with a kind word. Always there with a gentle answer. Patching up wounds when he was both old and young, touching him with her gentle hands, staying near to him even when all he did was push her away.
How much anxiety must he have caused her, with his pranks when young? How many nights must she have stayed up, worrying for him as he grew older, more bitter? How many tears had she wept?
And she is dead. Because of him.
He is sorry for Thor.
The big, blundering oaf, so weak and sentimental on Earth. And yet, something within Loli had felt sadness when he had seen how cold the "god"of war had been to his younger brother. Loki had pushed him back, and back, and back, further and further away.
Weakness.
Sentiment.
He is sorry.
Much as it had pained him to admit it, even to only himself, he wanted his old brother back.
He is not sorry for Odin. Odin. Odin All-father. Odin Thor-father. Odin Not-father. The old man, who'd felt he had the right to steal a child and pretend that he was Asgardian, was normal, and then strip him of his birthright. Loki knows in his soul he is meant to be king, and Odin has tried to crush it. Crush him.
He hates him.
No longer does he dwell on the olden days, when he thought of him as a true father. He doesn't think of the loving glances, the days of instruction, the care. The old man is a fool.
And yet, so is he.
"I'm sorry-"
He's not sorry.
He meant to take over Midgard. He meant to rule those people. He meant to show them-show them all- that he was a better king, the better choice.
He may not be Asgardian, but he is still a prince. He was born to rule.
But he is sorry.
Sorry for doing this. It will break Thor's heart. Again.
But it has to be done...right? Of course, right.
Right?
So he lays on his back, cradled in those ridiculously huge, beefy, yet somehow gentle arms, and stammers out those lies. Because that's what they are. Lies to make him feel better. Lies to soothe the pain. He's Loki. The Trickster. He tells lies as easily as the truth.
His life, his soul, his being is composed of one big, twisted, disgusting lie, with a few truths scattered in here and there just enough to lend himself a touch of credibility, to keep his sanity. After all, if everything he is is a lie, at what part will his mind begin to break? He can already feel it starting to. So he puts those in, lets Thor see him grieve, tears down the coveted illusion for a few meager moments before hiding behind his lies again.
I'm sorry.
It is a lie, but it is also a truth.
Just like him.
Hope you enjoyed! (Well. You know. However much you can enjoy broken hearts) Please drop me a review!