Title: The Kissing Blues

Author: Angel of Music lover

Description: Snow White complains about the woes of True Love's Kiss and how it has affected her relationship with Prince Charming.

Author's Note: So this is my first fairy tale story. I just now realized that there was a section for all that and thought it would be fun to take a swing at it. Now, I was hoping to do some other fairy tales princesses as well (I already have a few ideas lined up but I'm more than happy to hear suggestions. I doubt I know every fairy tale in the world after all. ;D)

And just a head's up for Snow White, she's been modernized a bit and made cynical. Just for fun. ;)

So here's the deal. I never asked to be brought back to life from some guy's kiss. It wasn't painful or anything… being dead. I didn't even know I was dead in the first place so I wasn't missing anything. Besides, how would you feel if you had the most startling wake up call of your life?

Here's what happened. I was lying in my coffin of glass, very peacefully asleep in death, and all of a sudden I feel something on my mouth. If you're going to bring someone to life, you should at least give some kind of warning first. Do you have any idea how startling it is to be dead one minute and then all of a sudden you're alive? It's not pleasant. The rush of life is so sudden and it's really very disorientating. Which is why I guess everything that happened afterward happened the way it did.

So, I open my eyes on instinct to see what in the world is going on and there's this guy staring down at me. Don't get me wrong, he's a perfectly good-looking man but I really didn't recognize him. He looked vaguely familiar but he was a complete stranger to me. So, being completely confused and dazzled by everything that happened in the few brief seconds I just kind of stared up at him with this doofy expression on my face and tried to see if I could feel my fingers.

I guess he thought this meant that I wanted him to lift me up because he did just that and carried me over toward his beautiful horse. He didn't even ask me… he just hoisted me up and set me down on the horse's back before hopping up after me. And I don't think that horse really cared to be carrying two average sized adults on his back. He kind of snapped his teeth over in my direction when I finally got off.

What's worse is that I didn't even say goodbye to those charming little dwarves. They had been such good friends to me and I just swept away with this guy (who turned out to be a prince) and I only had enough sense to give a little wave to them before disappearing. I guess they were more offended than I could ever imagine. I invited them to the wedding but none of them showed up.

Yes, I got married to this mysterious prince. At first when he asked me (which was the second he set me down from the horse) I was like "Hey, no way!" But then he explained to me that we were meant to be.

Apparently the old lady who gave me the poisonous apple had a spell on it so that I could be awakened only by true love's kiss. Which meant that this guy was none other than my true love for his kiss brought me back to life.

What can a girl say to that besides 'yes'?

Oh, I guess I was swept away by the romanticness of it all. And really, who wouldn't be equally swept? A handsome, charming prince comes and saves you with his kiss of true love and then wants you to be his forever in a life of luxury and comfort? I mean I had a bit of a rough life there, being raised by a crazy queen who wanted my heart in a wooden chest. The whole marriage thing seemed so charmed and beautiful that there was no other answer.

And the wedding was… pretty I suppose. I was pretty happy and everything was white and beautiful. The Prince said that it was to compliment my fair skin and there were red roses everywhere because he said they were the same shade as my lips. He was such a sweet talker then.

So, I became Mrs. Charming. I got to live in a big old castle with servants everywhere and a husband who seemed to love me.

But it got lonely really quick let me tell you. What do you say to the guy that you already know is your true love? It's not really a good conversation starter. I mean, where's the adventure and thrill in already settling down with a guy that you already know is meant for you? We have nothing to talk about. We sit at dinner and eat, occasionally commenting on our days and the latest castle scandal (I tell you, those maids are crazy!).

I found myself missing the way I used to live. Not with the queen, but with my friends. Those seven dwarves were the best companions I had ever known.

Sure, Charming is sweet and everything. But I feel so incredibly trapped. I hate having my fate already decided for me. Destiny just kind of threw this guy on my lap and said 'Here you go. Your perfect match is right here. Enjoy.' Ugh. It's not fair.

I wish that I at least knew his first name. I thought about asking him once but then realized that I really didn't know him well enough to ask something that personal. Which is really sad considering that we seem to know each other well enough to get married and talk about having children.

I just don't know. It seems like this whole 'true love's kiss' business is just someone's way at having a little fun with the unsuspecting victims. Why would anyone want this kind of a life?

So whoever invented 'true love's kiss' I want to give them a swift kick in the ass. You suck.

A/N: Please review?