I came in like a wrecking ball

I never hit so hard in love

All I wanted to break your walls

All you ever did was wreck me

Miley Cyrus, Wrecking ball

Through nights in Paris, that night in Marseille, the week in Serbia and during their stay in Napolitano and ending with that flight out from Paris – it's their story. Some might say it's like Casablanca and maybe it was.. They fell in love, but then she had to leave, but the ultimate ending came years later, when she was his boss and all the passion of past was wiped away. Both of them had their own mission to accomplish and that's it. They say the best love stories don't have ending, but unfortunately this one had.

Decisions.

Jenny Shepard was a young agent. She was a probie, when she started with Gibbs, but that didn't last long. They were partners before mission was getting serious. Sure they were playing lovers and Gibbs had history with redheads, but somehow Jenny always thought, that she was not one of those girls, who sleeps with her boss to get something out of it, promotion for example.

But then Marseille happened. They were stuck in that stuffy attic. One moment they were taking photos of potential criminals and the next moment she was screaming his name as she came undone. And from the first night together, she knew she was doomed, but Jenny couldn't help falling for him. He was not perfect, but somehow she fell in love with one person she could never have. If only had she known back then.. Unnecessary heartache could have been prevented.

Paris is the city of love and it had never been more true. The flame of their passion lifted them up, made their cover reality and helped them accomplish the mission. Decker was happy, Ducky was suspicious and Jenny was in love with Jethro.

The night it all went bad was Italy. Their love affair was still in honeymoon phase. Even though he was gruff and unable to show emotions, his actions spoke let her know, that he was just as deep as she was. The job they were supposed to do came secondary, because sometimes – well, most of the time – making love to each other was more appealing.

Jethro got shot. It was the first time he ever showed some kind of pain or really emotions. He was halfway on her lap on the floor of their apartment, bleeding, moaning and drifting in and out of consciousness. And she prayed. Prayed that he'd survive and stay with her, because she couldn't lose him. That's how Ducky found them. Luckily the injury was not bad and Ducky managed to patch him up, but physical injury causes distress.

"Shannon," she'd hear him moan in his sleep.

He'd look at her in pain and walk away. Once she tried to talk about it, but he walked out in the middle of conversation. He slept on couch for a few nights, but even later, as his hands were wrapped around her she could feel the barrier between them. She'd never seen him be so distant before and all her attempts to get him talk failed miserably.

Napolitano was place, where she knew – her heart will be broken. Then she remembered, why her five-point plan didn't include love. The night she lay awake in his arms, hearing him calling for another woman, she made a decision to end this. She had to end this affair before she falls too deep. That's a lie. She already had fallen too deep, she was screwed in any way possible.

"Shannon," he whispered in his sleep and opened his eyes.

"Jenny," she corrected and turned away. So she did the same.

Jenny turned her back and shut him out, just like Jenny Shepard was nowhere in Leroy Jethro Gibbs' mind.

Their final moment came in that plane. She kissed him with all the passion she had, so she could remember that moment in those dark nights about to come in Cairo. She kissed him and held him close, gaining some level of comfort from his strong arms wrapped around her middle. As they broke apart, she knew it was the last memory of him. He went to the bathroom and she got off the plane.

Leaving him was probably hardest thing she ever had to do, but it was right call. Jenny kept on reminding herself that on those cold nights she kept on staring at the ceiling of her new apartment in Cairo. She kept on thinking back to the kiss they shared on plane, the second night in Marseille, his terrified look in Prague… She thought of him and she knew, that he'll probably have her heart forever. She's doomed.

As time passed, she became more like him. Quiet and guarded. There was no question in her choice of alcohol – bourbon. A pocket knife with his name engraved on it will always be with her. Ziva had to shook her up, because she was no longer having bad dreams about her father, but Jethro.

"You're calling for Jethro. Who is he?" Ziva asked her once.

"A man I once knew," was Jenny's answer. Only truth she'll ever admit.

***NCIS***

They were standing in her hallway. Gibbs showed up to check up on her. Jenny had been kidnapped and in the end he saved her once again. Once upon a time they'd end up in each other arms after a rough day and only then everything was better. Now it's a little late.

"You okay, Jen?" He asked and kept looking at her neck.

"Fine, Jethro," she lied, and he knew that.

"I don't know if it's my place to comfort you. Where do we stand?" he asked her quietly.

"You are a team leader and I'm your boss. That's all we are now," she said quickly. Her was cold and numb.

"You left me," he accused.

"You gave me no other options," she said painfully.

"Asked you to move in, but you walked away," he said bitterly.

"Don't you dare. You pushed me away. The more I tried to get you open up, the more you shut me out. You ruined me!" she shouted in anger.

He looked at her. Gave her a nod and walked out of the door. As the hard wooden door closed she felt tears in her eyes starting to fall. She went to the door, but then deciding against going after him. Instead she let herself fall to the floor with her back against the door, wrapped her arms around knees and cried. She allowed herself a night to cry over a man, who'll always have her heart.

Gibbs rushed to his car, but then turned around and went back. He was close to bursting in, but again he changed his mind. He sat down on porch and thought for a moment. Tears came to his eyes as he realized that he had no right to hold that anger against her. He had no right at all. In the end she tried to understand him, but he acted like a jackass. Instead of her breaking his heart, he broke hers, but in the process of breaking her heart he got his broken as well.

She didn't ruin anything for him, but he wrecked a woman, who is no longer his.

For what it's worth – she got a broken heart, but she also completed her five-point plan. She got, what she wanted, but the Director Shepard is just a fragment of special agent Jenny Shepard he fell for. Her transformation is all on him.

Jethro never wanted to break her, but it seemed like he is covered with pieces of different women, he couldn't open up to.

And Jenny will never be the same. Pieces of her are all over Europe and it's all because she fell in love with a man, she couldn't have. A man, who lifted her to the sky and then let her crash and burn as she fell to the ground scattering into ruins of a woman she used to be. He took away her smile and innocence, replacing it with ice and guilt.

Gibbs ruined her and she let him.

Looking back, Jenny knew, that even though she got hurt, if given the chance to change her past, she wouldn't change him. Everybody should fall in love at least once in a lifetime. For Jenny her one and only true love was Jethro.