It was raining. Storming, in fact. Lightning flashed like electricity into the hospital room. But the thunder could not be heard over the sounds of labor, the new mother crying out in pain, midwives instructing her to breathe just so, father-to-be holding the camera and encouraging. She was only seven months along, she thought to herself. Exactly 30 weeks and 2 days. In another seven weeks, it would be much safer. But they obviously didn't have that kind of time.

"There's the head!"

The female figure groaned in agony as the rest of the body came out, amidst their yelling. The nurses and midwives gathered around it, whiping it clean of the blood.

"Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Volakis. It's a girl."

They heaved a sigh of relief; she was alive. She couldn't be with them, she had to be rushed to the NIC-U, but she was alive and that was enough for them for now. Though she was barely able to steady her hand, she wrote her daughter's predestined name on the birth certificate; Amber Martina Volakis. A couple of nurses and a husband helped the new mother into the shower, and when she fell asleep, she slept like the dead.

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When she woke up, her husband was eating some thing from the hospital that didn't look at all appetizing. Then again, he liked a lot of weird things.

"Nikolai?" she croaked tiredly; "What time is it?"

He finished swallowing his mouthful of what-ever-it-was and looked at the time. "10:30. The nurse just came in and asked if we wanted to see the baby."

"Of course I do." Tina replied, shifting around, trying to get up.

"Wait, Christina," he was the only one who was allowed to call her that; "I'll call for some one."

A couple of workers wheeled them down to NIC-U. Since only one was allowed in at a time, Nikolai decided to let his wife in first. A doctor specializing in the NIC-U instructed her on what to do, but she was hardly paying attention. It seemed like they had so many things hooked up to her- pulse monitors, oxygen measuring systems, breathing support, IV's filled with what ever food they were providing her with.

"Here," he sighed, handing her the small infant. She looked just like a doll. It was hard to imagine such a little thing being alive, much less human.

"Amber," she whispered, playing with the little bits of fuzz sticking out of her head. The baby shifted. Tina had never experienced such an over-whelming feeling of guilt. There was no feeling of awe, no wonder, no hear-clenching warmth or tenderness. She didn't feel any thing that she thought could be described as even mildly 'maternal.' How could this baby be her's? It was the wrong kid. Or she was the wrong mom. Either way, she wished she could just hand it back to wherever it came from. 'She', she insisted to herself. She traced a finger over the little body, humming lightly. But when she started crying, Tina had to give her back to the doctor. She couldn't deal with that, not after 12 hours of labor, pain, and then not even being able to love what had come out. The doctor wheeled her back out to her husband, who began to chat with her unknowingly.

"Her birth weight was 6 pounds, 14 ounces. And she's 13.5 inches long. The nurses say she looks just like a little doll."

Tina nodded absentmindedly. "She does."

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For the next weeks, they were in and out of the hospital. Mostly in. Nikolai kept insisting on seeing the baby, kept insisting on going. Tina never wanted to go, it just didn't feel right- Amber just didn't feel like her kid. A kid, yeah. And yeah, it was sad that she was born early, but it wasn't her responsibility. Unfortunately, the birth certificate said otherwise, and she didn't want her husband to know what was going on. They started giving her breast milk through a tube after 3 weeks, and 2 weeks after that, she was able to eat directly from her mother. Christina also hated breastfeeding, but did it any ways. 3 weeks following that, Amber went home. Tina wanted to ask if they'd keep her a couple of months, but it was ridiculous- so she obviously didn't. She was nervous, though. She was nervous, panicky, and still didn't love the kid the way she knew she should.

After they got her home, she started pumping out her breast milk and feeding it to her from a bottle. Thankfully, her mom came down to help raise the kid. Had she not, Christina Ann Volakis would have been nothing more than a name on a gravestone.