Brainwashed-
Summary- In which Artemis tries to brainwash his four year old daughter, Carson Fowl. Will Holly allow it? [Howl, Hartemis]. P.s., if you are a child of four years old, please, I beg you, do not try this at home, okay?
Oh, and if you're a four year and and you're reading this, you have my respect- you're most likely a time-traveling alien, cyborg, or extreme child prodigy, which I guess I might have to hate you, too. But, congrats anyhow!
Genre- Humor.
Rating- K+.
Disclaimer- I own nothing. No money is being made throughout any of these words I write with my silly little computer. Sorry. Yeah.
Carson Fowl glanced up from the floor, from where she was sitting on the cold cobblestones of Fowl Manor.
She had on a bright flowery sundress that had a strange contrast against her pure raven black hair.
Her eyes, which were presently looking up at her father, shined bright hazel- a feature heavily weighted with her mother's genes.
She tried to smile at her father, but he'd have none of it. Instead, she found herself eye-to-eye with him as he crouched down beside her.
"Carson," he said in his royal, Irish accent, "I'm going to tell you something my own father once informed me. 'Aurum Est Potestas'. Do you understand what I mean?"
The young girl shook her head, unfamiliar with the term, the language, or the meaning. Now if it had been Spanish, Italian, Russian, or Japanese, that'd be a different story.
Artemis smiled simply. "It means 'Gold Is Power'. Now do you understand what I'm saying to you?"
The young girl nodded meekly. "Gold is power."
"Yes. I believe it may be time for you to realize my once-founded empire, which I ruled quite well throughout the criminal underworld. And one day, Dear child, we'll make the world see the greatness of the Fowl name once again!"
Carson's eyes had widened throughout the whole lecture- was daddy a lunatic, or what?!
"Mommy!" she yelled, jumping to her feet, and running from the room.
Artemis sighed. His four year old daughter was more athletic at her age than he'd been at fourteen.
~0~
When he got to the kitchen, Artemis found his four year old spilling her guts as fast as she could.
"...Then daddy said, 'Aurum Est Potestas,' and tried to get me to join his criminal monarchy, and then I screamed, 'No! Mommy'!"
"Traitor!" Artemis hissed at the four year old, to which, she stuck her tongue out in return.
Artemis winced as an older set of hazel eyes stared him down roughly. "So much for crime being behind you, huh?" said Holly in an unamused tone, a tone that perfectly matched her face at the moment. "Carson, go play with the girls while I give daddy a talk he'll never forget."
Artemis cringed visibly, not quite so excited for the upcoming talk. But Holly wasn't exactly ecstatic about it either.
Carson dashed away happily, finding her sisters right away.
~0~
"Really? 'Aurum Est Potestas'? Really?" Holly sighed.
Artemis tried to laugh it off, but it came out as an awkward, nervous chuckle- which is exactly what it was.
"Carson's four," Holly continued, "That's three times the junior you were when you started. I mean, I full on expected an attempt, but I thought you'd at least have the common sense to do it later, when she's old enough to realize that, for a super-genius, you're a real idiot."
"In my defense," Artemis lawyered her, "I knew quite well that you'd suspect something, so I decided to act now, rather than later. Besides, Carson's far smarter than you give her intellect credit for, at her age. You assumed that, since she's barely shy of five, her brain would not be so developed. But quite the opposite occurred, as it did with Myles, when he was at her tender age. They are both well endowed with fine, prestigious gifts, despite being several years apart."
"I don't want a lecture, Artemis!" Holly snapped. "I want the bare facts. No funny business. No sly words."
Artemis understood, and gave her a slight nod that said just that. She returned the gesture, causing the exact affect to occur.
"Very well, then, Holly. No more funny business-"
"Or sly words!"
"-Or sly words. You want the bare facts? I believed it if I coaxed Carson's intellect together with mine, we'd be the most unstoppable team."
Holly rolled her eyes. "More like scandalous. She's not even five! What would people say if you got caught and were sent to jail?!"
"I don't know what they'd say about me, but I believe that I can guess what they'd say about Carson. And this is assuming I get caught at all. Also, I don't mean to use slang, but I'm guessing there would be a few words unavoidable in their statements. I'm assuming they'd say something such as, 'Whoa! That Fowl child is quite a genius! Must get it from her father, or somethin'."
Holly's eyes widened. "Wow. Landmark moment. Artemis Fowl just used a slang word. If I'm dreaming, you'd better not wake me up."
"Well, you're not dreaming, but then, you're not asleep. Also, I used two slang words."
"Nope. Three now."
Artemis sighed. "Hm. I suppose it was bound to have to happen eventually. Don't tell Butler, Holly. I have no want nor need for him to hear such words come from my mouth once again."
Artemis's eyes widened when he realized just what information he'd given away. Holly smirked, suddenly realizing what he'd said also.
"From your mouth once again? Um, Artemis, when was the first time you used slang exactly?"
His eyes seemed to be glued to the floor.
Holly understood that no information would be forthcoming from him. The two most important things Artemis Fowl had going for him was his high intellect, and his world-famous stubbornness.
She grinned, an idea sparking her mind. "Butler! He'd know."
She turned to run and grab the phone, but suddenly stopped herself. "I can do that later, but right now, I need you to stop changing the subject, Mister Fowl."
Artemis recovered quickly, not letting a minor slip-up get the better of him.
"Changing the subject wasn't done intentionally," he stated simply, "Let's get back to the matter at hand."
Holly wasn't buying it. "Right. Anyway, unstoppable team?" she coaxed.
"I- Yes, we would. We would have spread mass chaos throughout the world, even more specific, Ireland."
"More like massacre," Holly muttered under her breathe.
Artemis took no notice. "-And we would have become the most unstoppable team since Bonnie and Clyde, although in a more father/daughter affect."
Holly simply sighed. "Hopefully ending with you two not dying in a crossfire," she chimed in, "Besides, even if you and Carson become a Bonnie and Clyde act, albeit in a more father/daughter way, what about Athena and Tara?"
"What about them?" Artemis asked, truly clueless to her meaning.
"What happens when they realize that you two are hardened criminals and they're not? They're not stupid," Holly gave her case, hoping for the point.
Artemis sighed. "You're right. They're not stupid. And as for 'hardened criminals'? They will be, along with Carson and I. I've given Tara and Athena IQ tests, and they scored only a bit lower than Carson. Tara scored 173, while Athena scored 186."
Holly was amazed. "If they scored that high, but Carson still scored higher, what's her IQ?"
She almost afraid for the answer, but also felt that she deserved it, even if she feared the exact number. Holly could name a handful of evil criminals who first started out innocent geniuses.
Opal Koboi, Turnball Root. Cudgeon hadn't been a genius, but he'd had the ambition of one. Jon Spiro, And even Artemis himself, at one point. Now that had to have been the worst enemy they ever fought, even if he had been only ten at the time.
The smile Artemis gave her reassured her that their daughter wouldn't grow up to be a freakishly genius backstabbing monster. "Carson scored 195, and if she continues at the pace she's going, she'll soon be at my 239."
Holly sighed roughly. "Does it bother anyone else that my four year olds are all smarter than me? I swear between you, Foaly, and the girls, I'm surrounded by geniuses, while I'm an average idiot."
Artemis smirked. "Not quite average," he informed her, "I suppose you'll be happy to know that, if measured, your IQ would amount to 132, quite a bit above average, as an average IQ is 100."
She blushed. "Wow. I'm half average, half genius. I feel half special."
"I'm gathering that, since you're not so seemingly mad as before, you're not mad at all?" he asked with a piece of hopefulness.
Holly nodded her agreement. "Fine. Just don't let me catch you brainwashing our children again."
Artemis nodded innocently. You won't catch me, was all he said silently.
~0~
Carson sat down, her hazel eyes meeting her sisters' eyes. Athena, the youngest, held her scrawny, pale knees close to her chest. Tara, the middle child, and the most brave of them smirked.
"Do they know?" she asked their spy.
Carson returned that snarky, Fowl smile back at her sister. "I don't believe so."
Athena gave a small sigh of relief. Her personality, unlike her sisters', was more peaceful, shy, and pacifistic. But she still was a genius. And a genius in this family was expect to full-fill a life of crime.
"Good," Tara continued, grinning that gleeful grin. "Let's just keep it that way, and father and mother will never have to know about our... activities."
Carson smirked. "No duh, Genius," she chuckled. "Let's just hope father doesn't try to get us into that imaginary monarchy of his."
Tara groaned at the mention. But Athena was more mature than that. "I don't know," her meek, little voice rang out shyly, "If father teaches us the basics in criminology, then our four partner team would be not only complete, but a bit more advanced- a move that may very well may be smart in the near future."
Athena wished nothing more than to just close her eyes. Although, maybe now, never saying something would be a close second. She was pleasantly surprised when the other two girls beamed at the idea. "Yeah, that's great!" Tara cried.
"Couldn't have said it better!" Carson chimed in.
Athena could only blush as the other two continued their praise.
Yes, a genius in this family was expect to full-fill a life of crime. A successful one, while you're at it. Successful, as in, never been caught.
And when Athena Fowl grew up, she'd be the first to succeed.