There was nothing but silence in the apartment.

Her heart was pounding.

Tessa the stern but sweet Bone Gnawer had come back that morning alone.

There was no Vieno 'creeping' into the apartment with some snack or small gift to apologize for being out late.

There was no hushing noises from Tessa to calm Vieno, to tell him to quiet, that "shh, Ira might still be sleeping."

She had come back into the apartment dirty and with red eyes, Vieno's keys and satchel clinched in her hands.

Tessa had stood in the doorway gazing but not really seeing. Vieno never bounded into the room behind her. Ira waited for him to come bounding in, or limping. Eyes and lips wide in happiness, but he never came. She looked at Tessa and then the door and then moved towards the older Bone Gnawer and she seemed to startle back to life and turned to close the door. Tessa dropped the keys and the bag and grabbed Ira's hands moving her to the couch.

"Where's Vieno?"

Her heart was sinking like a ship.

Tessa had sat her on the couch and had knelt in the floor in front of her. Her hair a dark tangled mess damp and wind tossed and dirty. Ira in her sweater and pajama pants had felt oddly out of place at that moment.

"I'm sorry." It seemed to be the only thing able to pass the older woman's lips that night. "I'm so sorry."

It felt like the world was closing in.

Ira had gazed at Tessa's hands. Her hands had been just a dirty as the rest of her, under her nails was blood. Dried a dark red, some of it flecked on her fingertips.

"I'm sorry" Tessa had breathed out like she was dying. Like she was on the verge of a panic attack. Like she was spiraling down the Black Spiral without someone to pull her back up.

Ira shifted her gaze to look behind Tessa and gazed at the wall. She couldn't stand in that moment to have looked at the older woman's face and see the anguish gripping her, to see how the tears had started to fall again. Ira gazed past her shoulder at the wall. Ira's eyes had latched onto a photo of Vieno and a group of five people wearing green shirts.

"I'm so sorry Ira, this wasn't supposed to happen" Tessa breathed and Ira had felt the same nausea roll in her stomach as that one time. Except she couldn't remember exactly what that time was anymore. "He wasn't supposed to go out this way, Tessa sobs, her hands grasping Ira's. "I should have been there!" Tessa had seemed to wail out.

Her heart seemed to stop.

"Where's Vieno? Tessa? Tessa?" Ira had felt the panic rising up like a storm cloud. Ira had moved her gaze back to Tessa, hands moved to grasp her shoulders. Tessa's too big hands covered her face as she cried out "I'm sorry" and "gone, he's gone."

She stared.

Time seemed to stop, and the blood had rushed in her ears.

Ira didn't want to believe that this was happening again.

They'd barely had more than three weeks together.

A pack.

A family.

A home.

gone

Her hands started to shake and, and Ira had leaned over, curling in on herself and keened. Her eyes had pressed tight together, hot tears started to leak out. "Not again" She wailed and Tessa drew her into her lap and curled around her. Both of the Bone gnawers sat on the floor gripped tight and keened for the loss of the young man who had lived with them. They mourned together and a heavy weight settled on their shoulders.

Across the room, by the door the satchel vibrated for a few minutes and then stopped.