A/N: - Hi and Welcome to my first ever fanfic. (That I am posting haha ) I'd love reviews; in fact reviewers will receive love and cookies... Figuratively speaking of course. .. For the record Naruto & Sasuke are 19 and my story line has virtually nothing to do with what will/ is happening on Naruto. I'm gonna play safe and say I've tweaked the characters personalities, so no hard feelings? This is completely my own so no one steal it. I've had enough or art thieves I don't think I can handle word thieves as well. 8D Not that it's something to steal. Oh man, I should just stop talking. xDD
Disclaimer: All rights for Naruto go to Masashi Kishimoto, I own nothing. The characters are not my own and I claim no rights also. –Mutters- if they were mine SasuNaru would have happened from the start... --
So Hobey Ho; let's go! -chuckles-
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It's Only True.
By todo-mahem.
.:Chapter One: Torn apart:.
--
It had all been too easy. As Sasuke's return to Konoha settled down and gradually the villagers began to once again accept the Uchiha raven as their own once more; to Naruto it had just seemed too easy. Life had returned with a sense of normalcy as Naruto continued to advance in his ranks and Sasuke taking on a role of Anbu captain. Sakura, with Tsunade's guidance started to organise medical Nin teams to accompany missions.
Between Sasuke and Naruto, the stale mate of rivalry continued. At least for a while. As the time they were forced to spend together heightened Naruto began to notice the little things that had changed. Though Sasuke treated him as an equal, looked at him with some regards of friendship, there was always that look on Sasuke's face. When he thought Naruto wasn't looking, he'd examine Naruto as if confused and searching for an answer. That, he had never used to do. The nonchalant Sasuke remained adamant when ever others were present but when they were alone Sasuke almost seemed to relax. It was different. Nice even and for one reason or another it calmed Naruto. It made him happy.
It was when they were walking to Ichiruka's that it happened. The event in their lives that completely tore the two apart, what started it all. For the majority of the day Naruto had been silent, revelling in his glory of beating Sasuke in training. He had successfully pinned the raven, earning a scowl that would have killed any other man on sight. The never before heard words that came from Sasuke's lips following Naruto's triumph had put Naruto in such a state of happiness that he'd decided they'd celebrate.
'Fine Dobe, you win!'
Sniggering to himself Naruto intertwined his fingers and placed his hands behind his head. He heard the irritated sigh from Sasuke, who walked beside him and laughed again. It was just too much!
Then he felt it again. The small flutters in his stomach as he heard the raven's sigh. His sound of his step, the glimpse of dark hair as he walked beside him. Was he sick? This feeling was almost nauseating. But, it was familiar.
But from where...
Naruto stopped. His body went into a state of shock as he grasped what he now understood. Sakura. It was Sakura! The feeling he now felt towards Sasuke's very being, four years ago had once belonged to Sakura. But what did this mean?
'...'
"Oh shit!" Naruto exclaimed as his hands dropped to his sides and his mouth fell open. He knew what it meant.
"Dobe?" Sasuke asked, stopping in front of Naruto and giving the blond and exasperated look. "What's it?"
Slowly Naruto's eyes met Sasuke's. In his stomach the fluttery feeling heightened until it seemed to take over his body. It felt so... nice.
"You." Naruto mumbled his eyes narrowing into an accusatory glare. "This... This is your fault!"
"What is my fault?" Sasuke asked, rolling his eyes. What was the blond on about his time.
But Naruto wasn't paying attention any more. He was trying to figure out when this had started. When the raven had first caused this... thing, to happen. Briefly Naruto remembered two weeks ago in training when they clashed together, kunai raised at each other's throats when Naruto and Sasuke's eyes had met and Naruto's guard had dropped. 'La la' land had claimed him and Sasuke had claimed a win. How had Naruto not noticed?
Before then? When Naruto had once again found Sasuke, after more than three years of searching for him, finally finding him then losing him once more, Sasuke had been found standing over Itachi's body, blood on his hands, kunai at his own throat. He had looked at Naruto and in a somewhat dream like state asked what more there is to live for? Naruto's reply had shocked himself, spoken before he even knew the words were his own.
'Me Sasuke. You can live for me.'
The raven had dropped his kunai as he fell into unconsciousness and to this day Naruto had no idea if he had even heard him. But he had said those words. He had meant them. Before that, perhaps there were hints. Possibly the biggest was just how much Naruto missed Sasuke. The determination to get him back which he claimed was for Sakura, for his anger. Inside not even Naruto was willing to admit that he missed Sasuke.
Snapping out of his thoughts Naruto once again gapped at the stoic figure in front of him. He was now staring at Naruto curiously waiting for an explanation, with no idea of the turmoil that Naruto was facing inside. Raising his arm Naruto pointed at Sasuke, not noticing how much his arm shook.
Briefly Naruto wondered if it was a good idea to confess his feelings but that was quickly put aside. The bastard would have to pay for this one.
His expression becoming one of anger Naruto began to spill out his words.
"I accepted that you left." Naruto's voice shook and so he took a deep breath before continuing. "And I accepted you back. I've been your friend, through all of this and yet you still have the gal to do this to me. To me! Your best friend. How dare you!" Naruto was shaking.
Sasuke, who until then had remained somewhat amused by the display, narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms across his chest.
"What are you on about dobe? I didn't do anything!"
"Don't call me that teme. You did plenty!"
Sasuke was irritated now. He took a step forward, successfully making the blond back off a step.
"And what is it, pray tell, did I do to you?" Sasuke's words were like ice, his expression cold as he glared at Naruto.
Briefly Naruto wondered how such an expression could scare anyone; it was too damn cute... Naruto cursed silently to himself. This was bad.
"You make me sick!" Naruto explained.
"..."
Sasuke turned and began to walk away. Grabbing his arm Naruto twisted him back to face him, not letting go of his hold.
"I'm serious Sasuke! My stomach, you make me feel nauseous."
"Are you insinuating that I have made you pregnant dobe?" Sasuke asked, a light smirk playing across his mouth, catching Naruto for a moment and sending him back to 'la la' land. He was so dead.
"No moron, I'm insinuating that you made me fall in love. That is what I am trying to say. This stupid sick feeling in my stomach, don't think Sakura would have willingly had it for me anyway, it's freaking awful. No wonder you hide from your feelings you emotionless bastard, it's sickening this damn happy feeling." As Naruto babbled on, Sasuke froze. His eyes widened. He hadn't expected this; this had caught him off guard.
Did Naruto, just confess to him?
"... and Gaara! Why would he want this? Who in their right mind would? I understand granny Tsunade harbouring it for that damn pervert, because well, the whole right mind thing. But as I was saying, Kiba loving Hinata was a bit unexpected. He of all people I thought would kill himself before he felt like this. I wonder if Iruka feels like this. He seems to grab his stomach sometimes when Kakashi talks to him, what is it with perverts these days? Those damn books. Anyway Iruka looks positively sick, what with his red face, he must get a fever every time he see's Kakashi. Maybe I should take him to Tsunade..." Naruto trailed off, finally snapping back to reality to see that the wind had changed, and the expression Sasuke was frozen with was almost comical. Almost.
Sasuke looked scared.
It made Naruto nervous.
Naruto began to wave his hand in front of Sasuke's face, side to side.
"Sasuke? Sasuke... Sasuke?"
As if waking from a dream the raven locked eyes with Naruto. With a sharp intake of breath, Sasuke seemed to unfreeze, opting for an expression of controlled anger.
"No." Said Sasuke.
"Ne Sasuke? What do you mean no?" Naruto asked, puzzled.
"I said no." Sasuke shook his arm free of Naruto's grasp and took a step backwards. "No to you, no to love, no to all of this! I am going to leave and when I see you again you better have seen Tsunade or a doctor or something, get something for your stomach, for your head too..." Sasuke was rambling as his pace increased, putting more distance between himself and the blond.
"...Sasuke?" Naruto asked. He looked hurt Sasuke noticed, but put it aside. This wasn't really happening. Naruto was just sick.
"No Naruto. I'll see you later." Before Naruto could blink, Sasuke had preformed the hand signs and teleported leaving a cloud of smoke.
"What just happened?" Naruto muttered to himself. Confused and disorientated Naruto did the only thing he could do. He stopped by Ichiruka's and grabbed some ramen before heading off to find Sakura and discuss the most important and random event of his life.
--
Tsunade was pissed which in turn meant Sakura was pissed. For her part, Tsunade had every right to feel as she did. Jiraiya had been caught peeping in the hot springs for the sixteenth time that month. Caught that is. Who knows how many times he got away with it... and Tsunade was fed up. There was no end to the amount of Nin she would have to place around the hot springs to stop the man. The complaints from the local women kept coming in and had reached a whole new level. Some thing would have to be done and Tsunade wasn't looking forward to that confrontation.
As Tsunade proceeded to break every available object in her office while ranting and raving about the perverted hermit, Sakura was cringing in the hall way. She had been told, on no uncertain terms to report to Tsunade first thing that morning with her report on the progress for the medical Nin units. Now that Sakura looked back on it, perhaps there were a few loose terms somewhere in the order. Two meters away a fist broke through the hallway wall with a loud crash followed by more yelling. Definitely some loose terms Sakura decided as she placed the report on the desk in the hallway before making a run for it.
--
Naruto was standing outside the Hokage's building. His normally tanned face had somehow become as pale as Sasuke's. Clasped in his hands was a full bowl of Ramen which he had walked away from Ichiruka's with without paying for. With the look on his face, they hadn't said anything.
Naruto had been thinking. In the few minutes it had taken to walk from where Sasuke and he had been standing to Ichiruka's Naruto had already convinced himself that his life was obsolete. He had confessed, been rejected and was heartbroken. But more than that; he loved Sasuke. Naruto loved Sasuke.
The shock was now gone, leaving in its place a shallow incomplete feeling. This was wrong. Naruto felt wrong. Ever so slowly the yet unshed tears in Naruto's eyes began to fall. The bowl of Ramen in his hands fell to his feet, spilling the contents onto the ground.
--
Sakura stood frozen in her footsteps. Her eyes widened as she took in the sight before her. Fear flooded over her worse than she had ever felt before.
"What. The. Fuck." She breathed before running towards Naruto and pulling him into her arms. His shaking form pressed against her, his arms winding around body. Once being this close to Naruto would have repulsed the girl, but not now. Not after everything they'd been through. Naruto was her best friend and he was in pain.
"What Happened Naruto?" Sakura asked, her face pressed against the taller man's chest was slightly muffled. "Are you hurt? Is it Sasuke?"
At the mention of Sasuke's name Naruto's body stiffened at his breath caught. Slowly pulling back from Sakura, Naruto wiped his eyes.
"Sakura, I need your help... Please?" Naruto whispered and Sakura had to lean in to hear him properly. Reaching out she grabbed his hand in her own and gently pulled him away from the building towards her house.
"Of course Naruto, anything you need. We can talk at my place." She said.
As Naruto followed Sakura, he walked listlessly. His steps were uneven and his head had fallen forward, his bangs covering his eyes. The pure sight of Naruto so un-energetic worried Sakura. What could have happened to make Naruto like this? Glancing back Sakura looked once more at the spilt ramen on the ground. This wasn't good.
--
Curled up on Sakura's couch Naruto was taking what he had been informed were 'deep calming breaths'. In other words Naruto was breathing in a way that sounded like a cross between hyperventilating and bedroom noises. He really didn't get the point of this exercise. But Sakura said it would help. When he had gotten so worked up as he explained the situation he'd almost fainted from lack of air. Sakura for her part was doing her best not to laugh at the blond. Poor Naruto, he so easily worked up.
Naruto was altogether confused. He didn't think Sakura liked Sasuke like she used to. Not after he had come back anyway. She just didn't. But for some reason Naruto wasn't convinced that she was completely over him. There was always that sad glance in his direction when they'd all go out for dinner. Or when she'd invite him out as friends and he'd decline, she'd look so down it made Naruto's heart hurt a little. When Naruto had finally worked up the courage to ask Sakura if she still liked the raven she had just shaken her head and smiled.
'There is no point in pining if I can never have him. Besides... I think he likes someone else.'
Sakura had refused to say more and Naruto had given up on asking. He had no idea who Sasuke could like. Did he even have those kinds of emotions?
Now here he lay, with Sakura supporting him more than he thought he deserved. Somehow Naruto felt guilty for liking Sasuke. Then again, it's wasn't like it would go anywhere.
"I just... Don't know what to do Sakura." Naruto said once he had finally started to breath normally again. "Am I meant to do anything?"
Smiling Sakura looked at Naruto's anxious expression. He was curled up with his head resting on her lap. Her hands were running through his hands in such a calming way that Naruto was sure he could fall asleep.
"You have to chase him Naruto." She said.
"Chase him? What do you mean?" Naruto asked.
Chuckling quietly to herself Sakura was quiet amazed by how love affected Naruto. Could he really be this oblivious?
"You spent years chasing after Sasuke, are you seriously telling me that you aren't going to do it now? When it matter more? When love is on the line?" Taking a breath Sakura went on. "Naruto I think, if Sasuke makes you happy you shouldn't let him go. Make him realise that you're serious and don't let him say no."
"...Sakura?"
"Yeah?"
"I don't think... If Sasuke says no again, I think it would hurt too much."
"What would you do?" Sakura asked.
"I ... I don't know."
Sighing Sakura gently lifted Naruto's head from her lap and stood up, pulling Naruto up with her. When had he gotten so tall she wondered as she stood in front of him.
"I'll be here for you Naruto. Whatever happens, ok?"
Pulling Sakura forward Naruto hugged her. "Thank you Sakura."
--
Standing out front of Sasuke's apartment Naruto took a deep breath and knocked on the door. It was late afternoon and only that morning Naruto had confessed. He heard the raven's light steps and inwardly cringed. This was perhaps the scariest moment of his life. It beat facing the Akatsuki and Orochimaru combined. This was terrifying, this was love.
This was Sasuke.
Sasuke looked perfect. He had obviously had a shower since that morning and was wearing a black shirt and white pants. His hair hung still damp down his face making him resemble Itachi a little.
Hurriedly retrieving himself from 'la la' land, Naruto took a deep breath.
"Uh... Hey Sasuke." He began.
After sufficiently glaring at the blond Sasuke muttered a hello.
"Well I just wanted to tell you something... about this morning..." Naruto licked his lips. Damn he was so nervous. Sasuke wasn't saying anything so Naruto went on.
"Well I just wanted to say, that I'm not taking it back. I do... I do love you. Also, I think you feel the same about me! Sakura said so too. If there is even a chance that you do, would you even consider it?"
Sighing Sasuke leaned against the door frame and rubbed his forehead. He looked tired Naruto noted, he looks like he'd been thinking.
"Naruto," Sasuke's voice was low and it sent shivers up his spine. "No. I won't do this Naruto. It's not true."
"What do you mean it's not true?" Naruto exclaimed.
"It means what it means. You don't love true at all, it can't be."
Naruto felt tears in his eyes but he pushed them back.
"Sasuke it's only true if you want to believe it. It's true because I believe it. Why don't you? Don't you believe me Sasuke?" Naruto's voice was shaking by the end, his hands clamped in to fist by his sides.
Looking up Naruto stared directly at Sasuke. The raven's completely stoic expression was gone replaced by confusion. Emotion flickered in his eyes, he looked unsure.
Crossing his arms across his chest Sasuke stood and faced his body towards Naruto. "Naruto... You mean it's only true if I believe it?"
"...yes."
"Fine then. I don't believe it. I don't want this. Go away Naruto, my answer is no."
He heard the words and he broke. Naruto felt his world slide to the ground and shatter. The tears began to fall and his body shake. Looking into Sasuke's eyes once more and only finding a conclusive stare Naruto turned and ran. He ran from Sasuke, ran from hurt and he ran from his pain. That day that started in triumph left Naruto in pieces. So when Naruto arrived at his apartment he done the only thing he felt he could. Scribbling a hasty note for Tsunade and Sakura Naruto grabbed a few possessions and left Konoha. He didn't know where he was going, or what he would do. He did however know that it was true. How he felt was true. But having heard Sasuke reject him made Naruto hurt far worse than ever before. It wasn't just Sasuke Naruto ran from, he ran from his own pain. From his own heart.
--
Sasuke stood in Naruto's room. Clothes were strewn across the floor and precious possessions were missing. Naruto was gone. Sasuke didn't believe this. There is no way that Naruto could have been for real about his feelings. He couldn't love Sasuke... could he?
Tsunade had called both Sasuke and Sakura to her office to explain that Naruto had run away and demanded an explanation. Neither of them willing to offer up an explanation beyond a basic one and when they left the Hokage's office she was in a right state. The two passed Jiraiya in the hall as he went to see her. Sakura hurried her pace that was not a confrontation she wanted to be around for.
As soon as they were clear of the Hokage's building Sasuke said good bye to Sakura and before she could say anything teleported. He'd gone straight to Naruto's apartment where he had found nothing. No blond ...empty. Oh sure there was furniture and stuff but something was missing. It made Sasuke sad.
His eyes stinging from unshed tears Sasuke growled to himself. He had been given and explicit order to not go after the blond. He was not allowed to leave the village, neither was Sakura. Tsunade had decided to let Naruto go for a while. She apparently knew where he was.
It was the biggest shock to Sasuke's system when he realized that he was wrong. It three minutes from when Naruto had gone from his vision of sight for every part of Sasuke's heart to fall apart. What had he said? Why had he said that...? Why did he say what he didn't mean?
He had fallen to his knees and not moved until he felt the presence of Kakashi standing beside him. He had been summoned to see the Hokage, apparently Naruto was gone.
It was true, Sasuke believed it but he'd lost the chance and he couldn't go after Naruto. He wasn't even allowed to contact him.
One year... Tsunade had told them she'd give Naruto a year to sort himself out.
One year Sasuke would have on his own, to think about what he had done.
One year without Naruto.
Finally the tears began to fall and falling onto Naruto's unmade bed Sasuke cried.
--
A/N: -Flails- I'M SO SORRY! WAY MORE ANGST THAN INTENDED!! Oh man. I was talking to my friend who's having a hard time, as I wrote part of this and and and that is the result. I'M SORRY. But I still like it. I think Sasuke would have to be Naruto's only real weak point. Even in the real series. He just, is. :'D
ALSO SORRY FOR THE ANGSTY SASUKE. DOOD. What is it with me? I'm so full of angst it's coming out my... I won't finish that. Suppose life being as it is right now it's only natural. Meh.
Kay so this will have about 4 chapters. I've actually already got the ending all figured. xDDD If I get reviews, constructive criticism, I'll hurry up and get on with the 2nd chapter. Also, let me know if you think I should get someone to beta this... I don't think I've done that bad a job, but meh, lol I'm biased. :3
Tooroo, until next time!