Chapter 1

"Take it easy Hathaway, you've been punching that bag for some time now. Come and get some water before you get dehydrated," said a Guardian beside me as I continued punching the bag as though my life depended on it.

"Don't worry about me, I got this," I grunted out while still continuing to beat the shit of the bag with a few combinations.

"It's your funeral," the Guardian said, walking away.

"Yeah, it is." Little did he know that extreme exercise is the only way for me to get rid off all the Darkness that I have pulled from Lissa, and a way for me to momentarily forget my problems. I figured out some time ago that extreme physical exercise could shave off some of the darkness I get from Lissa. Physical exercise keeps me occupied, but it doesn't help me solve my problems. How I wish my problems could be fixed by throwing a few punches, but unfortunately that's not how it works. So that's why I'm here twice a day at the court's Guardian gym.

You would think risking your life to search for what was thought to be impossible would earn you some kind of acknowledgement or even a thank you. Well, think again. It didn't happen in my case. Even though I was 'the mastermind' behind Dimitri's restoration. Lissa just enchanted the stake and shoved it inside Dimitri, making him Dhampir again. I was the one who searched for the impossible. Of course, I had help. But I didn't get a 'thank you for your contribution' or anything. Well, I did get something, and that was a big fat rejection from my ex-lover/ ex Strigoi lover, and I managed to get Lissa mad at me.

I was determined to force some sense into Dimitri. He needed to stop avoiding me and adoring Lissa as his 'savior'. It's not that I am jealous. Well, I am a little bit because come on she didn't do it alone. We all contributed. I know Dimitri, and I know that he's suffering and doesn't want to see me because of what he did in Russia. I forgave him when I thought I'd killed him that night. I know it wasn't him.

"Phew!" Ok, that's enough for today I guess. I grabbed the towel that was on top of my water bottle and began to dry myself from the sweat. 'Yup my arms will be hurting tomorrow' I thought while walking back to my room and stretching. While in the shower, I thought about the ways I could make Dimitri see that I forgave him. That he's not to blame for what he did. But every thought was crazier than the previous one. By the end of my shower, I hadn't come even close to figuring out what to do. I guess I'd go have some dinner then start thinking again.

Dinner was great, but I ate alone again. Adrian and Lissa were with Tatiana in a Royal dinner, and Christian was with his aunt. I didn't want to join them, so I ate alone with my thoughts on Dimitri. Once I'd finished I went to turn in because I was physically and mentally exhausted.

Already asleep I felt the beginning of a Spirit dream.

"Adrian!"

"Little Dhampir! I didn't expect to catch you in bed already. I'm sorry I couldn't spend the day with you. My aunt had me busy all day. Tomorrow too," Adrian said looking sad.

"It's okay, I understand," I replied, feeling guilty that I hadn't thought about Adrian all day. I went to hug Adrian and inhaled his scent 'always the best for Adrian' I thought.

"So, have you given my proposal a thought?" Adrian asked.

"Are you talking about the why I should date you proposal?"

"I am. So what do you think?"

"Adrian, please. I've told you a million times I won't lose you as a friend. I can't. I'll never forgive myself if I hurt you," I said looking him straight in the eyes. Adrian has been trying to get me to agree to go out with him for a long time now. In reality, I like Adrian, but I'm not in love with him. I do have feelings for him, but I will not act on them because Adrian deserves more than just 'like'. I can't offer him my love because Dimitri has that.

"You know, I know your answer every time I ask you, but I can't help the hope I feel every time," he said with a sad voice, looking down at his jeans.

"I know. Trust me when I tell you that if I did say yes, you'd only get hurt."

"I'm already hurting, little Dhampir."

"I know, Adrian. I can see it. I'm sorry." I said it with as much truthfulness as I had in me.

"It's not your fault. I guess it's not meant to be."

"No, I love you as a friend."

"I know. I want more Rose!" Oh no. He said my name. That means he's pretty serious. Looking at his face, I could see the desperation. I feel so badly for him. I keep thinking about how much more I would hurt him if I went out with him and just ended up dumping him. I couldn't be that cruel.

"I'm tired. I'll let you go. See you soon little Dhampir." He kissed my forehead and darkness filled my eyes.

Later that night I woke up to a noise. With my refined hearing, I could tell it was a knock. I quickly checked the bond and saw Lissa was fast asleep. I got up and went to the door.

"Whoever is waking me at this hour better have a funeral arrangement in place!"

"It's me, Dimitri. Open up."

I stood there for a second in shock. Then I quickly opened the door.

"Umm, Dimitri. What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you, Roza. Can I come in?"