Emperor Kuzco walked down the hall of his magnificent palace that early
morning. Kuzco walked with his personal assistant down the long hallway,
which was full of vases, paintings, wall hangings and other such
decorations, all of them plastered with Kuzco's face. Kuzco walked along,
slowly admiring all his paraphernalia when suddenly, he stopped. Kuzco had
stopped right before a large picture of himself – in the picture he was
smiling a big toothy grin, while he had both arms around two llama's
necks…the llamas in the picture looked less than pleased.
"What was I thinking?" Kuzco asked in disgust, "have this –ugh- thing removed immediately!"
"Ah! Right away your excellency!" stuttered the assistant, and then he swiftly snapped his fingers.
Immediately a crowd of guards trampled down the hallway and removed the large painting.
"Thank my perfections that's gone!" exclaimed Kuzco happily,
"I think we need something new and exciting! Something that really shows off my profile!"
Kuzco snapped his fingers and in the blink of an eye there was a frazzled looking man with messy black hair and unusual eyes standing before him.
"Ah, yes! I can see it now your majesty!" said the eccentric little man. "It must have character! First we add paint, but that's not all! Oh no! We add some light, den we have da birds fluttering around and they sing! But it not ordinary music sire…no! The music – she is special!" exclaimed the man as he flapped his hands as though they were a bird, while he circled the room.
"She make you want to fly! Den we add some-"
"Yeah, sure!" interrupted Kuzco, "whatever"
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I bet you thought it was easy being me, didn't you? Well let me tell you! Even with the good looks, dashing charm, a great personality, fabulous riches, incredibly toned body and…-ahem- well anyways; it is not easy in the least! You think this little moron is trouble? He is nothing compared to the other problems going on right now! First there's this annoying little law made by some (less important) emperor who woke up one morning and thought, "hey! Since I stink so much, how about I make a law so that the great emperor Kuzco who will someday rule will have incredible problems!"
Well – it might have happened that way, but back to this annoying little law! The law says I must marry some girl before my 19th birthday or else I have to give up my thrown to my advisor (at least it wouldn't be Yzma, like that's any consolation!). Most of these ladies are really below my perfect self, so what is a poor emperor to do? Well – I'll let you see the whole story, then you can see how hard being an emperor really is!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Oh yes! Da painting! She will shine! Don't forget the birds!" Continued the painter, oblivious to what Kuzco had just said.
"Uh-huh! Birds flying. Yeah…very nice! Just paint the picture already!" snapped Kuzco angrily.
"Of course, your majesty." Said the painter softly as he took a small bow.
In a flash a new painting was in place of the old one, but it looked the exact same as the previous painting.
"Perfect! It really captures my…what's the word? Ah yes! My perfection!" Said Kuzco happily.
"So glad it pleases you sire! I'm very grateful to be working-" started the painter.
"Are you still here?" interrupted Kuzco snidely.
Before the painter could answer, Kuzco has already run the end of the hall towards the mirror.
"Why hello there handsome!" Kuzco said lovingly, "you're just so precious! Yes you are!"
Just then the door at the other end of the hall flew open – it was one of Kuzco's many assistants.
"Your highness! Your highness!" Shouted the assistant from way down on the other end of the hall.
Kuzco rolled his eyes. "Your highness! You're late!" exclaimed the stout man as he made an attempt to run the other end of the hall.
"How dare you interrupt me! I was just getting in touch with my-" Kuzco turned his head back to the mirror and in a puppy-love voice said "perfect self!"
"-Ahem- sire! You're already very late and we mustn't keep your guest waiting!" said the assistant
"Oh really? And why mustn't we? I AM the emperor after-all!"
At that moment the door at the other end of the hall opened for a second time that morning. Through the door entered a large man wearing a green poncho.
"Kuzco?" Shouted the figure.
"Pacha?" Shouted Kuzco.
"This was my guest?" Asked Kuzco
"Umm, yes sire! That is what I was trying to tell yo-"
"Why didn't you tell me? What kind of assistant, is an assistant who doesn't assist?" Exclaimed Kuzco angrily
"B-but sire!" Stuttered the assistant.
"Kuzco!" Said Pacha
Kuzco shot his head in Pacha's direction.
"Ah, right! Remember me?" said Pacha rhetorically.
"Oh fine!" said Kuzco in a pout, "let's go see what my chef is cookin' up for us."
-----------------------------------
Kuzco pushed open the large doors into the dining room and he swiftly walked in, Pacha followed slowly behind as he looked in amazement at all the decorations.
Kuzco walked to the head of the table and stood between the table and the chair. He stood there for few moments while the smile on his face slowly turned to a frown.
"-Ahem-!" Kuzco growled angrily.
There was a long silence as Kuzco stood there getting madder by the minute. Pacha stood still with his jaw hanging open as he wondered what was happening.
"-Ahem-" Kuzco growled again, only louder. Nothing happened and with that, Kuzco pointed angrily at his chair, gritted his teeth and said, "Kro-o-nk!"
"Oh right! You mean me!" Said a built man as he ran up to the table from the corner he was standing in.
The man pushed the chair in behind Kuzco, while Kuzco fell back hard into the chair as it was being pushed towards the table.
"Have a seat" said Kuzco, pointing with his hand towards the chair on the other end of the long table.
Pacha walked towards the chair at the other end and he was about to sit down when the man who pushed Kuzco's chair in started to walk over towards Pacha's chair.
"I think I'll seat myself, Kronk." Said Pacha kindly.
"How come everyone always says that?" Kronk asked.
Kuzco gave an annoyed laugh, then quickly said, "very nice Kronk! Except…we don't care!"
"Now run along into the kitchen like a good little Kronky and make us something nice!" Kuzco continued.
Kronk quickly ran off in the direction of Pacha, but didn't stop there. Kronk ran to the end of the dining room and direct into a wall and fell over.
"Um, Kronk?" said Kuzco.
"Yeah?" said Kronk still lying on his back on the floor.
"The kitchen would be that way," said Kuzco pointing behind him with his thumb.
"Right! Kitchen that way" said Kronk excitedly before running off in the direction of the kitchen.
"He-uh…he can cook," said Kuzco defensively.
"Cook. Right" replied Pacha, it was obvious he wasn't paying attention.
"So? How have you been? Doing your little village things I suppose?" asked Kuzco casually.
"Village things?" asked Pacha, who seemed to have woken up from his dream- like state.
"You know – with the –ugh- and the other, uh –blech- and the other quaint little things you village people do to make your lives less mundane" said Kuzco soberly.
Just then Kronk burst in with a steaming crock in his hands.
"Here we are!" said Kronk sounding satisfied.
"This looks great Kronk. What is it?" asked Kuzco.
"Well, we've got your basic kettle-fried lobster tails stewed in guava oil for three minutes" said Kronk as he illustrated the steps in cooking his masterpiece.
"Then 10 minutes in some carrot broth, add some Cajun spice and your good to go." Continued Kronk.
Kronk's grin suddenly faded to a worried frown, "I forgot to bring out the good china from Polynesia!" said Kronk, slapping his head.
"I think we can do without-" started Kuzco.
"No, no!" interrupted Kronk, "we have a guest! We don't want him to feel unwelcome, or he might tell all his friends we're bad hosts!"
Before anyone could say another word, Kronk had run back into the kitchen. Before anyone could even blink Kronk was back with a huge stack of dishes, flowers, candlesticks and any other item you might put on your table. He quickly set to work setting it all up around the table and in a flash he was finished.
The table was full of chine plates, expensive champagne glasses, golden candlesticks, and an embroidered tablecloth with Kuzco's face painted over the middle of the cloth.
"Done!" exclaimed Kronk with a breathless grin, "it's not my best work, but I think it suits the mood quite nicely, don't you?"
"Yes Kronk" said Kuzco in an annoyed tone, "thank you."
"But-" frowned Kronk
"Hey Kronk! I've got something for you!" said Kuzco while searching in his pocket.
"Fetch!" said Kuzco as he pulled a cookie out of his pocket and threw it out of the dining room.
"Oh boy! Oatmeal!" said Kronk as he darted off in the direction of the oatmeal cookie.
Pacha stared at Kuzco in amazement.
"What?" said Kuzco, shrugging.
"Anyways, I asked you to come here because I need you help!" said Kuzco.
"Again?" asked Pacha sarcastically.
"My 19th birthday is three days away and I have to pick a bride before then or I have to give up my thrown!" said Kuzco.
"Who would be emperor then?" asked Pacha.
"It would be my current advisor and they are always really icky!" whined Kuzco.
"Ok, ok! How can I help?" asked Pacha.
"You can help me decide!" said Kuzco.
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So you think my troubles are over, right? Not a chance! Check this out!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----
1 MEANWHILE
"Kitty!" cried Kara. "come here kitty! I've got a surprise for you!"
Not far from the back steps of the house near the top of the hill where Cara had been calling, was Yzma (who was still a cat).
"If that-that thing talks to me one more time" growled Yzma as she clenched her tiny paws into fists, "I swear I will-"
Before Yzma could finish Kara came running over the small hill towards Yzma – Yzma quickly unclenched her paws open her eyes really wide so they looked really cute and slowly the evil Yzma kitty made her transformation to cute cat. Kara finally arrived next to Yzma.
"There you are you silly cat! Where on earth have you been? I've been worried sick!"
"Mew" replied Yzma grudgingly.
"Look what I have for you!" said Kara excitedly as she pulled out a small dress with a bonnet, "it's a little dress for you to wear! Come here and try it on kitty!"
Kara pulled the dress over her head, while Yzma showed her discontentment.
"Oh you look simply precious! We must go for a walk and show all my friends! Won't they be surprised." Said Kara happily.
"Don't touch me." Growled Yzma under her breath so Kara couldn't hear, but it was too late – Kara had already scooped up Yzma and placed her in a baby carriage made from jungle items.
Kara began pushing Yzma down the hill in the carriage.
"Look kitty! It's one of my friends! Let's go say hello!" said Kara.
Kara pushed the wagon over towards the other little girl and when Kara got there, she let go of the carriage.
"Wait till you see my precious little kitty! She's so cute!"
but before Kara could show Yzma off it was too late! Yzma had already started rolling down the hill, picking up speed by the second.
"I AM GOING TO KILL THAT GIIIIIRRRRLLLLLLL!!!" exclaimed Yzma as she fled down the hill.
"Did you hear something? It sounded like kitty was screaming!" exclaimed Kara.
WHAM! Yzma's carriage hit a small fence at the bottom of the hill and Yzma went flying from the carriage into a wagon full of hay.
"-ptooe-! -ptooe- ! I'm free? I'm free! I AM FREEEEE!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA" laughed Yzma excitedly, but just as soon as she finished her laugh the cart began to move and Yzma was smacked in the head and fell off as the cart went under the low bridge towards the town.
Yzma slowly picked herself up. She held her head in pain and said to herself, "now I'm free! It's my chance to help the world and feed the homeless and-"
Yzma shook her head and came to her senses, so she quickly said "Now I'm free! Now's my chance to do what I failed at the first time – FIND A CURE FOR TOE FUNGI! And then, of course, KILL KUZCO!!!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!" laughed Yzma (once again).
"But how do I get to the palace?" Yzma asked herself, "it's not like I'm just going to wind up there by standing around!"
Just then A large cart trotted slowly by, but it was the sign that was of interest – it read "FREE TOUR RIDES DIRECT TO THE PALACE!"
"Aha!" exclaimed Yzma "there's plenty of llamas sitting in that pasture! I'll just ride one there!"
Before long (the obviously extremely un-observant) Yzma had gotten a llama out of the pasture, except we can't tell you how because we don't quite know!
"Move you dumb thing!" said Yzma angrily as she sat atop the llama's back.
"You worthless piece fur! Move!"
Yzma scratched the back of the llama as hard and deep as she could and with that, they were off!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---
Uh-oh! This looks like problem number 2! See what I mean? A great guy like me just can't get ahead!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----
IF YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO CONTINUE THIS STORY PLEASE POST A COMMENT! THANK YOU.
"What was I thinking?" Kuzco asked in disgust, "have this –ugh- thing removed immediately!"
"Ah! Right away your excellency!" stuttered the assistant, and then he swiftly snapped his fingers.
Immediately a crowd of guards trampled down the hallway and removed the large painting.
"Thank my perfections that's gone!" exclaimed Kuzco happily,
"I think we need something new and exciting! Something that really shows off my profile!"
Kuzco snapped his fingers and in the blink of an eye there was a frazzled looking man with messy black hair and unusual eyes standing before him.
"Ah, yes! I can see it now your majesty!" said the eccentric little man. "It must have character! First we add paint, but that's not all! Oh no! We add some light, den we have da birds fluttering around and they sing! But it not ordinary music sire…no! The music – she is special!" exclaimed the man as he flapped his hands as though they were a bird, while he circled the room.
"She make you want to fly! Den we add some-"
"Yeah, sure!" interrupted Kuzco, "whatever"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I bet you thought it was easy being me, didn't you? Well let me tell you! Even with the good looks, dashing charm, a great personality, fabulous riches, incredibly toned body and…-ahem- well anyways; it is not easy in the least! You think this little moron is trouble? He is nothing compared to the other problems going on right now! First there's this annoying little law made by some (less important) emperor who woke up one morning and thought, "hey! Since I stink so much, how about I make a law so that the great emperor Kuzco who will someday rule will have incredible problems!"
Well – it might have happened that way, but back to this annoying little law! The law says I must marry some girl before my 19th birthday or else I have to give up my thrown to my advisor (at least it wouldn't be Yzma, like that's any consolation!). Most of these ladies are really below my perfect self, so what is a poor emperor to do? Well – I'll let you see the whole story, then you can see how hard being an emperor really is!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Oh yes! Da painting! She will shine! Don't forget the birds!" Continued the painter, oblivious to what Kuzco had just said.
"Uh-huh! Birds flying. Yeah…very nice! Just paint the picture already!" snapped Kuzco angrily.
"Of course, your majesty." Said the painter softly as he took a small bow.
In a flash a new painting was in place of the old one, but it looked the exact same as the previous painting.
"Perfect! It really captures my…what's the word? Ah yes! My perfection!" Said Kuzco happily.
"So glad it pleases you sire! I'm very grateful to be working-" started the painter.
"Are you still here?" interrupted Kuzco snidely.
Before the painter could answer, Kuzco has already run the end of the hall towards the mirror.
"Why hello there handsome!" Kuzco said lovingly, "you're just so precious! Yes you are!"
Just then the door at the other end of the hall flew open – it was one of Kuzco's many assistants.
"Your highness! Your highness!" Shouted the assistant from way down on the other end of the hall.
Kuzco rolled his eyes. "Your highness! You're late!" exclaimed the stout man as he made an attempt to run the other end of the hall.
"How dare you interrupt me! I was just getting in touch with my-" Kuzco turned his head back to the mirror and in a puppy-love voice said "perfect self!"
"-Ahem- sire! You're already very late and we mustn't keep your guest waiting!" said the assistant
"Oh really? And why mustn't we? I AM the emperor after-all!"
At that moment the door at the other end of the hall opened for a second time that morning. Through the door entered a large man wearing a green poncho.
"Kuzco?" Shouted the figure.
"Pacha?" Shouted Kuzco.
"This was my guest?" Asked Kuzco
"Umm, yes sire! That is what I was trying to tell yo-"
"Why didn't you tell me? What kind of assistant, is an assistant who doesn't assist?" Exclaimed Kuzco angrily
"B-but sire!" Stuttered the assistant.
"Kuzco!" Said Pacha
Kuzco shot his head in Pacha's direction.
"Ah, right! Remember me?" said Pacha rhetorically.
"Oh fine!" said Kuzco in a pout, "let's go see what my chef is cookin' up for us."
-----------------------------------
Kuzco pushed open the large doors into the dining room and he swiftly walked in, Pacha followed slowly behind as he looked in amazement at all the decorations.
Kuzco walked to the head of the table and stood between the table and the chair. He stood there for few moments while the smile on his face slowly turned to a frown.
"-Ahem-!" Kuzco growled angrily.
There was a long silence as Kuzco stood there getting madder by the minute. Pacha stood still with his jaw hanging open as he wondered what was happening.
"-Ahem-" Kuzco growled again, only louder. Nothing happened and with that, Kuzco pointed angrily at his chair, gritted his teeth and said, "Kro-o-nk!"
"Oh right! You mean me!" Said a built man as he ran up to the table from the corner he was standing in.
The man pushed the chair in behind Kuzco, while Kuzco fell back hard into the chair as it was being pushed towards the table.
"Have a seat" said Kuzco, pointing with his hand towards the chair on the other end of the long table.
Pacha walked towards the chair at the other end and he was about to sit down when the man who pushed Kuzco's chair in started to walk over towards Pacha's chair.
"I think I'll seat myself, Kronk." Said Pacha kindly.
"How come everyone always says that?" Kronk asked.
Kuzco gave an annoyed laugh, then quickly said, "very nice Kronk! Except…we don't care!"
"Now run along into the kitchen like a good little Kronky and make us something nice!" Kuzco continued.
Kronk quickly ran off in the direction of Pacha, but didn't stop there. Kronk ran to the end of the dining room and direct into a wall and fell over.
"Um, Kronk?" said Kuzco.
"Yeah?" said Kronk still lying on his back on the floor.
"The kitchen would be that way," said Kuzco pointing behind him with his thumb.
"Right! Kitchen that way" said Kronk excitedly before running off in the direction of the kitchen.
"He-uh…he can cook," said Kuzco defensively.
"Cook. Right" replied Pacha, it was obvious he wasn't paying attention.
"So? How have you been? Doing your little village things I suppose?" asked Kuzco casually.
"Village things?" asked Pacha, who seemed to have woken up from his dream- like state.
"You know – with the –ugh- and the other, uh –blech- and the other quaint little things you village people do to make your lives less mundane" said Kuzco soberly.
Just then Kronk burst in with a steaming crock in his hands.
"Here we are!" said Kronk sounding satisfied.
"This looks great Kronk. What is it?" asked Kuzco.
"Well, we've got your basic kettle-fried lobster tails stewed in guava oil for three minutes" said Kronk as he illustrated the steps in cooking his masterpiece.
"Then 10 minutes in some carrot broth, add some Cajun spice and your good to go." Continued Kronk.
Kronk's grin suddenly faded to a worried frown, "I forgot to bring out the good china from Polynesia!" said Kronk, slapping his head.
"I think we can do without-" started Kuzco.
"No, no!" interrupted Kronk, "we have a guest! We don't want him to feel unwelcome, or he might tell all his friends we're bad hosts!"
Before anyone could say another word, Kronk had run back into the kitchen. Before anyone could even blink Kronk was back with a huge stack of dishes, flowers, candlesticks and any other item you might put on your table. He quickly set to work setting it all up around the table and in a flash he was finished.
The table was full of chine plates, expensive champagne glasses, golden candlesticks, and an embroidered tablecloth with Kuzco's face painted over the middle of the cloth.
"Done!" exclaimed Kronk with a breathless grin, "it's not my best work, but I think it suits the mood quite nicely, don't you?"
"Yes Kronk" said Kuzco in an annoyed tone, "thank you."
"But-" frowned Kronk
"Hey Kronk! I've got something for you!" said Kuzco while searching in his pocket.
"Fetch!" said Kuzco as he pulled a cookie out of his pocket and threw it out of the dining room.
"Oh boy! Oatmeal!" said Kronk as he darted off in the direction of the oatmeal cookie.
Pacha stared at Kuzco in amazement.
"What?" said Kuzco, shrugging.
"Anyways, I asked you to come here because I need you help!" said Kuzco.
"Again?" asked Pacha sarcastically.
"My 19th birthday is three days away and I have to pick a bride before then or I have to give up my thrown!" said Kuzco.
"Who would be emperor then?" asked Pacha.
"It would be my current advisor and they are always really icky!" whined Kuzco.
"Ok, ok! How can I help?" asked Pacha.
"You can help me decide!" said Kuzco.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----
So you think my troubles are over, right? Not a chance! Check this out!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----
1 MEANWHILE
"Kitty!" cried Kara. "come here kitty! I've got a surprise for you!"
Not far from the back steps of the house near the top of the hill where Cara had been calling, was Yzma (who was still a cat).
"If that-that thing talks to me one more time" growled Yzma as she clenched her tiny paws into fists, "I swear I will-"
Before Yzma could finish Kara came running over the small hill towards Yzma – Yzma quickly unclenched her paws open her eyes really wide so they looked really cute and slowly the evil Yzma kitty made her transformation to cute cat. Kara finally arrived next to Yzma.
"There you are you silly cat! Where on earth have you been? I've been worried sick!"
"Mew" replied Yzma grudgingly.
"Look what I have for you!" said Kara excitedly as she pulled out a small dress with a bonnet, "it's a little dress for you to wear! Come here and try it on kitty!"
Kara pulled the dress over her head, while Yzma showed her discontentment.
"Oh you look simply precious! We must go for a walk and show all my friends! Won't they be surprised." Said Kara happily.
"Don't touch me." Growled Yzma under her breath so Kara couldn't hear, but it was too late – Kara had already scooped up Yzma and placed her in a baby carriage made from jungle items.
Kara began pushing Yzma down the hill in the carriage.
"Look kitty! It's one of my friends! Let's go say hello!" said Kara.
Kara pushed the wagon over towards the other little girl and when Kara got there, she let go of the carriage.
"Wait till you see my precious little kitty! She's so cute!"
but before Kara could show Yzma off it was too late! Yzma had already started rolling down the hill, picking up speed by the second.
"I AM GOING TO KILL THAT GIIIIIRRRRLLLLLLL!!!" exclaimed Yzma as she fled down the hill.
"Did you hear something? It sounded like kitty was screaming!" exclaimed Kara.
WHAM! Yzma's carriage hit a small fence at the bottom of the hill and Yzma went flying from the carriage into a wagon full of hay.
"-ptooe-! -ptooe- ! I'm free? I'm free! I AM FREEEEE!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA" laughed Yzma excitedly, but just as soon as she finished her laugh the cart began to move and Yzma was smacked in the head and fell off as the cart went under the low bridge towards the town.
Yzma slowly picked herself up. She held her head in pain and said to herself, "now I'm free! It's my chance to help the world and feed the homeless and-"
Yzma shook her head and came to her senses, so she quickly said "Now I'm free! Now's my chance to do what I failed at the first time – FIND A CURE FOR TOE FUNGI! And then, of course, KILL KUZCO!!!!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!" laughed Yzma (once again).
"But how do I get to the palace?" Yzma asked herself, "it's not like I'm just going to wind up there by standing around!"
Just then A large cart trotted slowly by, but it was the sign that was of interest – it read "FREE TOUR RIDES DIRECT TO THE PALACE!"
"Aha!" exclaimed Yzma "there's plenty of llamas sitting in that pasture! I'll just ride one there!"
Before long (the obviously extremely un-observant) Yzma had gotten a llama out of the pasture, except we can't tell you how because we don't quite know!
"Move you dumb thing!" said Yzma angrily as she sat atop the llama's back.
"You worthless piece fur! Move!"
Yzma scratched the back of the llama as hard and deep as she could and with that, they were off!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---
Uh-oh! This looks like problem number 2! See what I mean? A great guy like me just can't get ahead!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----
IF YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO CONTINUE THIS STORY PLEASE POST A COMMENT! THANK YOU.