The Voices In My Head

by makoheadrush

Folder for humorous drabble, one-shot scenes, blurbs, etc. Sometimes...the most random thing will set off a conversation in my head, between any number of FF7 characters. This is the result. Rated T for language.

Scene: Sephiroth's apartment. Specifically, the bathroom, where we find himself and Cloud fighting over the mirror, preening and fussing with their hair.

Cloud (whining): "Seeeeeph, where did you put my spiking gel? I can't find it."

Sephiroth (glaring): "Do I *look* like I use spiking gel?"

Cloud: "Well, you ARE a product whore. You spent your entire paycheck at Ulta last week. And I won't even mention what you spent at Sephora."

Sephiroth: "Ah yes, Sephora. I really should talk to their corporate branch, about naming that store after ME."

Cloud: "Whatever. Where's my damned gel?"

Sephiroth (hissing): "I told you. ..I. Do. Not. HAVE. IT."

Cloud: "You're lying. It has a distinct scent. I can SMELL it on you."

Sephiroth: "Oh. THAT spiking gel. I, uh…have split ends...I may have used a small dab." (quickly hides empty tube)

Cloud (gasps): "You did use it all! You bitch! I'm hiding your flatiron."

Sephiroth: "You fucking bastard. If you do that, I swear to Gaia..."

Cloud (taunting): "You swear to Gaia what, huh? What will you do to me, steal my gel? Big fucking deal, you already DID."

Sephiroth (smiling cruelly): "I'll…give you a mullet. Like Reno's." (Sephiroth begins rummaging in the drawers for the haircutting scissors)

Cloud (shrieking like a girl): "Nooooooo! Not a mullet!" *runs away*