Title: Just a Step to the Left
Summary: Just because you're in Glee doesn't mean life's all a song and a dance. It's also full of crazy relationships, bigotry and ignorance, and angsty teenagers. Unfortunately for Connie, she's just taken a step left out of reality and into the musically chaotic world that is Glee. "The hot guys really aren't worth doing high school over again."
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any songs that I use.
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Prologue: Fever Dreams
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The sound of my own coughing was making me nauseous. It was that kind of loud, wet hacking cough sound that made you think that someone was dying. And I was the one making that ugly, ugly sound.
This was how it always went. About two or three times every year, I'd get really nasty sick. Usually it was brought on by some poorly planned back to back all-nighters trying to write a paper, do a project, and study for a test that would all be due on the same day. The only reason it got that bad was thanks to the epic standards of procrastination I set when it came to said papers, projects, and studying. So really, I brought my illness on myself. But come on! Who deserved this level of suffering? It actually felt like I was dying. Every time I coughed, my chest hurt. It seemed like I was drowning in phlegm. And I was so weak and hot. I couldn't even get up to get water or change the movie on the player. It had been three hours since my brother had last checked in on me to see if I needed anything and it was starting to seem like he wouldn't come for another three hours.
A rattling sigh passed through my lips.
I really wanted some water. And the movie to be changed. Or at least for the TV to be turned off. The menu clip for Thor had been playing on repeat for the last hour and five minutes. That had gotten really old and annoying at least an hour ago.
If only my brother could show up with a glass of water and medication. If only my brother could show up and put something better on the TV. Like The Avengers. I'd just gotten the DVD and hadn't gotten a chance to watch it on my own TV yet. Or maybe he could put on Glee. Even if Glee stopped being interesting after season two, there was supposed to be a new episode on sometime later tonight. I could watch that and try to feel a little less miserable about life while watching teenagers singing about how miserable they were instead.
Alas, poor me. I'm not allowed to watch hot superheroes or hot jailbait. Instead I just have to lay here sick and unhappy.
I didn't even notice when I dozed off.
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"...they are repulsive."
I chuckled to myself as I made pretend antlers over my head with my hands, leaving my plastic hammer replica forgotten in my lap. Ah, what it would be like to actually see one of the bilchsteims. Maybe I should just draw one for myself so I could see it. I felt arm wrap around my waist and pull me a bit to the left, into another body. A masculine body. Looking up, I stared into amused green eyes.
"You're being silly again. We're supposed to be watching the movie."
"Pshaw," I scoffed mockingly at him, "You should see yourself during Avatar, guy. Try and tell me you don't get silly every time you see an ikran."
"Okay, you kind of have me there."
He smiled at me before using the arm he had around me to pull me in a little tighter and snuggle me, with his chin on my left shoulder. It was nice, having this. I'd never had a guy do this with me. Watch a movie. Snuggle. Usually I'd freak out and put distance between us. Or, it would never even come to that because when did guys ever try to snuggle with me anyway? Still, I was comfortable, and he actually seemed like he wanted to touch me. This was perfect.
"Too bad this isn't real," I sighed to myself.
"What isn't real?" Sam asked, nuzzling his face into my neck, "The movie? No offense, I love the Avengers, but if Thor actually existed, that would suck because you'd probably leave me for him."
"No, I meant this. Us. You being here with me. This isn't real," I explained to him, lowering my hands from my head and placing them on his hands, trying to memorize the feel. They were big and warm, and I could even feel his callouses, "I'm dreaming up you - Sam Evans, Chord Overstreet, whatever - watching The Avengers with me because I was feeling sorry for myself and wanted to feel better." I squeezed his hands with mine. "I have to say though, this is one of the best dreams I've ever had. Maybe I should dream of you more often."
After a moment of silence, he spoke.
"What if this was real?"
"What?"
"I said, what if this wasn't a dream? What if I was actually here with you? Wouldn't you like that?"
"I'd love it," I answered after a moment, "But there's this thing called a real life where I'm just a normal college girl and you're a fictional TV character. Ours is a doomed romance, bud."
I shot a wry smile up at him.
"Well, then let me change the question. If real life didn't matter, would you want this to be real?" he pushed, his expression suddenly serious.
"Yeah," I answered without hesitation, without trying to be a smart ass, "Yeah, I'd want this to be real."
"Then that's all that matters," he said, lifting his hand and bopping me lightly on the nose with his knuckles, "Now let's get back to watching the movie."
"Yeah. Let's."
And the dream went on.
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An alarm clock went off. With an aggravated sigh, I reached, and reached, and reached for the obnoxiously far place I'd put it in my room to force myself to work to turn it off, and slapped it. It went back to snoozing. With a satisfied smile, I sagged back into the mattress, letting my arm continue to dangle over the edge of the bed. I'd leave it out. The clock would go off in another nine minutes or so. It'd be more convenient to have it at the ready to slap the thing silent again. I took a couple long, deep breaths.
My eyes shot open.
My breaths... they were normal. I sat up in bed and took a couple more long breaths. Smooth. No pain, no phlegm.
I wasn't sick.
In a second, I was on my feet, jumping up and down on the bed. This was wonderful. I felt sooo much better. I did a little woohoo dance before hopping off my bed and walking over to my alarm clock, wincing when I looked at it. Had I really set it for six a.m. this morning? Sure, Friday was my only early morning class day, but seriously, I could probably sleep in for another hour before I needed to run for my dear life to catch the last bus to get to campus on time. Staring the clock down, I had an internal debate about whether I should go back to sleep or not.
"Nah," I said to myself.
Even if I could sleep, I just felt too good. I wanted to be up and awake, and to go make breakfast or something. Being sick always ruined my appetite. Now that I was better, I was definitely making myself a cheese omelet and a bowl of cereal and buttered toast and whatever kind of fruit we had available. If we had bacon, that was also on the menu. Opening the door, I rubbed at my eyes when light poured into them. I always kept my room at a comfortable pitch black through the night, with the only light source being my digital alarm clock. Whenever I left my room, I had to adjust to normal people light levels again.
Everything seemed normal until I got to the kitchen.
Mom was in there, puttering around in her green robe, going about her normal morning ritual of making coffee and that disgusting Ezekiel bread toast she loved. She looked good, which made me smile. Only yesterday, she'd been just as sick as I was, so if she was up and about, she was obviously better. I skipped over and hugged her from the side, giving her a kiss on the cheek.
"Morning Mama," I chirruped, letting her go a second later and bouncing over to the fridge.
"You're pretty cheerful this morning," she mused after blinking owlishly at me a couple times, "I thought you'd be nervous about your first day."
"Firs day ov whah?" I questioned around a mouthful of cantaloupe I'd stuffed in after finding it.
The carton of eggs, milk, and cheese were all carefully being juggled in my arms as I hefted them over to the stove top.
"First day at school, sweetie," she answered, darting forward to take some of the stuff out of my arms, "And here, let me take care of breakfast. You know I always take care of breakfast for you and your brother on your first day of school."
"First day of school?" I frowned. "Mom, first day's long passed. I'm already halfway through fall semester."
"Did you have one of those weird dreams again?" Mom chuckled as she started on fixing the eggs.
"Well, um..." I did remember having a dream about The Avengers and Chord Overstreet, but I didn't need to tell her the details. Mom was still under the delusion that I didn't have a sex drive or fantasize about stupid hot actors.
Hah. Impossible. I have working hormones and people like Chris Hemsworth exist. Of course I was going to have lusty thoughts.
"So I did have a weird dream," I admitted with a self-conscious cough, "But I'm still pretty sure I've been in school the last month and a half."
"Wow, that must've been some dream if you're still confused," was all she said in response, "You were busy all summer at the Asian Cultural Arts Camp with Tina and that other boy you've been telling me all about."
I blinked.
"What?"
"Are you okay, sweetie?" Mom suddenly was right up in my face. "You look alright, but how do you feel? Do you think you're coming down with something?"
"No, I feel fine. I was sick yesterday. Don't you remember?" I asked her, my voice quiet in my confusion.
"You didn't seem sick yesterday, just nervous. You were on the phone for hours with Tina, asking her about McKinley High and worrying that you weren't going to fit in or that your grades weren't good enough," she babbled.
However, I'd stopped really listening to her after the two magic words.
"McKinley High?" the words escaped my lips weakly.
"Yes." Mom looked at me with concern in her eyes. "That's the name of your new school, remember? The one you begged and pleaded with me to transfer you to so that you could go to the same school as your cousin."
The world felt like it was tilting, tumbling, toppling over.
Wait, nope, it was actually me that was tilting. I'd stumbled sideways into the counter and had to brace myself up against it. Mom was immediately at my side, asking me if I was okay, asking what was wrong. It was hard to explain really. My brain felt like it was exploding from sudden overload of information. All kinds things suddenly became known to me. All kinds of things became clear about the situation.
I was now Connie Cohen, a fifteen year old girl who lived in Lima, Ohio. My childhood best, and only, friend was (sad and pathetically enough) my cousin Tina Cohen-Chang. Until now, I'd been straight A student at some snooty private high school where no one talked to me. However, thanks to redistricting and some wheedling with my parents, I'd been transferred to William McKinley High School. And today was my first day.
"Oh shit," I slurred, trying to keep myself upright, "I'm in Glee."
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Author's Note: I actually had a dream like the one in this because I am sick right now and medicine does some really weird shit to my dreams. So, because I'm all sick and screwed up and interested in escape from reality, I'm going to commit the good old fanfiction taboo, self insertion into a fandom. Hopefully, it won't be that bad. Maybe you'll like it. We'll see.