Theme set: GAMMA
HISTORY
20. Talent
"You're a mage," explained Malcolm Hawke quietly, as if to afraid to be overheard even in his own home, and ten-year-old Garret wondered why his Pa looked like he was going to cry.
4. Box
Anders' escape attempt from the Circle number four had been in a crate once filled with lyrium but now stamped to ship back to Denerim to resupply the Templars' stores; if only his damned sneeze hadn't given him away halfway out the door!
47. Highway
The road has become as much a home for Hawke as houses, sitting on the back of the cart and tossing crumbs down behind them, like in the stories, just in case they need to find their way back.
1. Ring
Anders closes his eyes and thinks of home or, at least, what used to be home... he can still remember his mother and the way she liked to pat his hair, she had always loved their shared blond color, her favorite silver ring smoothing down along his scalp.
5. Run
There had been no time to pack, no time to talk, no time for anything Hawkes could do but up their lives to flee the Templars... again.
25. Mask
"As long as I'm good and free, I can't be bothered," Anders protested, scowling at the corpse's look of disdain, but he can't help but feel that Justice understands more than he lets on.
23. Fire
The Keep burned around him and as much as he wanted to be scared, to be worried for his friends, all the apostate saw was the escape route and the promises of freedom it held.
46. Gravity
It finally hits him as he washes out the wardens' blood out of his jacket; he's become a monster.
ACT I
22. Journey
Kirkwall wasn't so bad, Hawke considered as he explored through his new neighborhood, despite the drunkards he had to step over to continue his path; it could be worse, they could be in Darktown, those poor bastards.
28. Forgotten
It was oddly comforting to be just one face in a crowd again, even if that crowd was made up of crying and terrified refugees; among the Wardens and Circle he had been well known, but now he was a nobody again and could enjoy a nobody's freedoms, and Anders revelled in the familiar and secure feeling of invisibility.
14. Music
Malcolm Hawke had loved the lute and Garret hears him play, sometimes, in his dreams; he tries to get closer to his father and listen to him sing just one more time, like he had before the sickness, but as soon as he gets close enough to hear the words, he always wakes up.
36. Laugh
Most people were intimidated by the 'why do you threaten it' line, especially those Coterie asses, but when the bearded man just smirked, Anders had a feeling this was not his usual trouble.
9. Red
Anders had always heard the phrase 'seeing red' for when someone was enraged, but now whenever Vengeance as takes hold with Karl's empty voice still ringing in his ears, all he sees is darkness.
3. Memory
When Fenris asks him about home, Garret speaks of an abandoned mansion in Hightown but when he closes his eyes and thinks, he remembers a little cottage far away in Ferelden.
2. Hero
With one powerful swing, Hawke brings his bladed staff down on the templar's head and cleaves it in two, and for just a moment Anders really can believe in the larger-than-life hero from Varric's tall tales.
16. Cover
It was a small gesture, but the offered coat to cover the mage's head from the rain prompted the first smile Garret had seen on Anders' long face since Karl, and it felt good to be the one to cause it.
17. Promise
"You'll take good care of him, won't you?" asks Leandra after she meets him for the first time, maternal fretting clear in her eyes, and as much as he hates to lie, Anders nods.
8. Cold
'For those chilly Lowtown nights,' reads the tag attached to the blanket waiting for him when Anders got back to the clinic, 'Cheers, Hawke.'
42. Talk
Garrett accuses him of joking, but Anders is a picture of honesty and says, "I'm not kidding, I meet the great hero of Ferelden, the newest Paragon of the dwarves, the fabled killer of the Archdemon and all that... and she's shorter than I am! Of course then she kicked me in the kneecaps for pointing that out."
43. Search
It was strange, but in the days since Hawke had left for his Deep Roads excursion, Anders couldn't help but keep looking up to the clinic's doors, waiting to see his fellow apostate marching in with some sort of hare-brained scheme to drag him away to...
30. Body
Carver... His 'little brother'... but he doesn't feel so little now, weighed down like a stone in Hawke's arms... Maker, he's still warm...
21. Silence
Anders had been so glad to see Hawke in one piece and asked what had seemed like an innocent question about how well the expedition had gone; the grave look on his friend's face spoke more words than his voice could.
ACT II
7. Wings
In Hawke's memories, an old woman's voice crackles, "You'll never be a dragon..."
29. Dance
"So... what exactly is this 'spicy shimmy' Isabela keeps telling me about?"
49. Lock
"Damn your buckles and belts and shite, damn them," hisses Garret, straddling the increasingly impatient mage beneath him, but Hawke refuses to accept help in what has become a personal war on Anders' overly complicated coat.
24. Strength
"You can do this, I believe in you" he says and Anders wants to believe that, wants to believe that more than he wants freedom or justice or anything else anymore.
13. View
Sometimes he thinks maybe it was better down in Darktown, away from all the prissy and privileged nobles and the way they ignore the world's problems... but standing with Hawke on the balcony, watching the sunset, Anders decides maybe it's not such a bad place after all.
12. Temptation
If Sebastian tried to talk him into going over to the Circle one more time, Hawke was fairly sure he was going to have to explain to Elthina why her ward was being returned to her in an ash tray and, really, who wanted to have that conversation?
26. Ice
"Okay... so... we won't be trying that spell in bed again," Anders promises apologetically while he prepares a salve for his poor, frostbitten lover.
6. Hurricane
Loving yet fearing, hopeful but cynical, tears amid laughter... all these emotions that Hawke stirs in him batter at his heart yet they all melt away when he takes the man in his arms.
34. Formal
"You'll have to shave, you know, for the banquet," Leandra urges; Hawke's skin crawls and he ponders again escaping the party through the basement... but that probably won't work a third time.
39. Overwhelmed
On the days that even Justice couldn't find the will to care, or at least chose to be silent, Anders pondered his blessing, confusion and frustration washed away while he watched Hawke slumber.
35. Fever
"If you didn't insist in being all romantic and traipsing around on the beach," scolded Anders, pressing a mug of tea and herbs into his lover's hands, "you wouldn't be having this problem, would you?"
33. World
For a moment nothing else mattered, nothing else existed, just Hawke and his mother and the sensation of her life slipping out of his fingers.
41. Wait
His leg's gone to sleep and the dog is whining at the door, but Anders stays where he is, holding Hawke tight as he tries to offer him a safe place to grieve.
44. Hope
The arishok lays dead, the qunari are leaving and no one's dead; Hawke allows himself a smile as the nobles and guards alike cheer his name, their rallying cries echoing off the halls of the city, and he thinks maybe this stupid-ass city isn't so bad after all.
ACT III
11. Midnight
"It's closing time, I already told you!" wails Corff from the bar, but it just isn't enough to peel the Champion and his friends from their increasingly inebriated game of Wicked Grace and- oh, Maker, there just went somebody's knickers.
19. Candle
Nothing can go wrong, not so close to the Gallows, so Anders snuffs out his only source of light as the members of the Mage Underground near their hidden dock, plunging them into the dangerous night.
45. Eclipse
Even years later, Hawke feels the same whenever he sees that harsh blue encompass Anders' soft brown eyes, becoming as cold and smooth as steel; no matter how many times he watches Vengeance appear, his skin still tingles with what feels like fear.
31. Sacred
"You're crazier than I am," Anders hissed but with an impish grin as a smirking Hawke led him into the nearest closet of the Chantry, out of sight and hopefully out of hearing.
15. Silk
It was tattered, frayed, stained, chewed on, cried on and who knew what else... but the little pillow found a place of honor on the mantle in Anders' new home, a small reminder of how far he'd come.
18. Dream
As if the real world were not troubling enough, even Anders' sleep was punished; Hawke had lost count of the nights that he'd laid awake, holding the trembling Warden close to him for comfort.
32. Farewells
Maybe it was stupid, doing this nearly seven and three years after their deaths, but it felt good to finally put Bethany and Carver's names up on the memorial wall.
38. Forever
There was no time in the Fade... every loss of control, every templar's face, every mage's terrified scream... they all played out as fresh in his mind as if they'd happened only moments ago, and the razor-keen clarity of his own memories were driving him mad.
10. Drink
Snow falls thick and wet outside, blanketing the city from top to bottom and making it all but impossible to leave the house; the perfect excuse for hot mugs, shared blankets and one of Varric's books on the chaise.
37. Lies
"We can live like this forever, just you and me and my big ugly dog," Garret murmurs into his ear and pulls him close, and even as a whispering voice tells him it will never be true so long as the Chantry rules, Anders closes his eyes and thinks for a little while.
27. Fall
One moment, just enough time to take a breath as the red glow filled the night sky, and then the world changed forever.
40. Whisper
"I'm..." But the words die on his lips as Hawke stares off to the burning city they've left behind, his eyes blank with disbelief; sorry just isn't good enough this time.
48. Unknown
It was days before Hawke finally approached him, even longer before he spoke to him, but when he did, it was with a sigh and the whispered question, "Now what do we do?"
50. Breathe
After Isabela lets them off in Rivain, Garret Hawke takes a moment to look around; here he is again, fleeing from home, leaving everything behind... he wonders if he can do it one more time and for a moment he isn't sure, but then he feels Anders fingers brush against his and the wind in his hair, so he takes in a deep breath before he takes the first step towards their future.