I do not own Naruto Fullmetal Alchemist or Halo. Also for future reference I do not own any other such things except OCs or the direction on the storyline.
Lying in a hospital bed after giving birth to a set of twins, an exhausted red head smiles up at her husband. Her green eyes shift from happy to sorrowful as the man takes both of the children, a blond boy and a red haired girl, and disappears in a yellow flash.
He appears again in a cave where he quickly draws a seal on both of the children before disappearing again. He appeared on a battlefield quickly summoning a large toad. "I need you to hold the Kyuubi off for as long as possible so that I can complete the seals and summon the Shinigami Bunta."
"Ill see what I can do Minato but it wont be easy." The toad says to the man who summoned him.
Minutes later there was a bright flash as the Kyuubis body fell to the ground and dissipates as if it were smoke in the wind. The shinobi searched to find the body of the Fourth after Buntas summoning ended but could not find him. Unknown to everyone but the Third Hokage, the little girl and the red head were missing as well.
The Third Hokage stood before the council an hour later holding the baby boy. "It appears that Minato sealed the beasts power into his missing daughter and the soul into little Naruto here. He wanted both seen as heros for holding back the beast. It cannot possibly get out so there is no need to mention this to anyone outside of this room. That includes his parentage also." Little did he know that that decision would come back to haunt him years later.
** Fourteen years later **
Naruto was sitting on top of the Hokage Tower with a blank expression. His mind was replaying the events of what he had heard in the office as he was about to enter.
=Flashback=
Sarutobis voice could be heard through the crack in the door that was forgotten and left unlatched. "Minato! Kushina! Where the fuck have you been? Everyone thought you were dead!"
Minato answered in a casual but happy tone. "Well Kushi and I took Hikari away from the village to train her to use the Kyuubis youki effectively. Whats the big deal old monkey?"
"Oh I don't know… Maybe the fact that you LEFT YOUR SON HERE TO SUFFER!" Sarutobi shouted. "Do you have any idea what the village did to him?"
"Naruto? Honestly I hadnt thought of him until just now. How is the little hero? Probably spoiled rotten huh?" Minato said.
"Kushina, Hikari, sit down on the couch. Minato, HOW COULD YOU FORGET YOUR OWN SON? He has been beaten starved and to top it all off he has had more assassination attempts on his life that every kage to date COMBINED!" Sarutobi screamed. "I did everything that I could to keep him safe thinking you were all dead. You have a lot to make up for."
The two women on the couch gasped in shock before Kushina started to weep. At that point Naruto couldn't hold himself back any more and burst into the room.
"You BASTARD! And you don't deserve to cry Kushina-san. Did any of you even THINK about me? I bet little Hikari over there has had a hundred times the training Ive had and hasn't killed a fly. Guess what? You can all three fucking feel sorry for yourselves all you want because I wont." Naruto said in a cold tone.
Minato put a hand on Narutos shoulder and glared at him. "Son that's no way to talk to your family. Now apologize."
"Fuck you Namikaze. I have NO FAMILY! You made sure of that when you left me here. I found solace in the only people to ever be there for me all the time. Jiji, Iruka-sensei, Hinata-chan, Miko-chan, Anko-chan and Yu-chan. And lets not forget how Shinigami-chan Kami-chan and Yami-chan feel about all of this." This got a shocked look even from Sarutobi. "That's right, I know the three greater gods or should I say goddesses. They gave me one of my only birthday gifts. And that was Cortana-chan."
"Who is Cortana?" Sarutobi asked cautiously.
Naruto reached behind his head and there was a hissing and sliding sound before he pulled a small flat plate with a hole in the center and held it in his palm. "Cortana-chan could you please project yourself on the desk?"
"Of course Naruto-kun." A female voice said before a three dimensional projection appeared on the desk of a small blue woman with numbers and symbols running along her whole body. Her dark blue hair stopping just short of her shoulders. "Greetings everyone. I am Cortana, an artificial intelligence program, or AI, that was given to Naruto-kun when he died for an eighth time on his seventh birthday."
"Wait died? How many times has he died? And how is he alive now?" Hikari asked already afraid of the answers. Sarutobi Minato and Kushina were mortified.
"He has died a grand total of forty-six times with approximately eight thousand four hundred and sixty-two near death experiences. And the goddesses allowed him to come back each time because of three reasons. First he is their chosen Avatar on his world. Second they say how he was treated and never held a grudge against anyone even Yu after he found out why she attacked. And lastly, they fell in love with him just as all the other girls have." Cortana stated in a matter of fact tone.
Minato looked floored before a perverted smile crossed his face and blood ran from his nose. Kushina noticed Sarutobi was in much the same condition and glared at both of them.
"Minato, unless you get those thoughts out of your head I will rip off your manhood." Kushina said. "Naruto is there any way that we could be a family at all?" Her voice was pleading and her eyes full of tears.
"Thank you. And the answer is no. You all completely forgot about me and never even asked that super pervert outside the window to even check on me." Naruto looked indifferent at the crushed look on Kushinas face. "Godfather unless you get in here I WILL shoot you. And what of Tsunade? Did you ever see her on your extended vacation?"
"No. Why?" Minato asked as Jiraiya hopped in through the window.
"Then perhaps I do have some family out there. Danzo and the council lied to her and said we all died that night. Cortana-chan can you please locate her bio-signature? I will take a Pelican and Warthog to retrieve her." Naruto saw Cortana nod. "As for Danzo and his ROOT I have their entire complex rigged with cloaked demolition charges. I press one button and the place blows."
"Naruto how do you know so much about Danzo and his ROOT ANBU?" Asked a surprised Sarutobi.
"Simply put when he abducted me for a week to experiments I was taken there and died four times. That is also where I found Miko-chan. Or as she is better known Mikoto Uchiha." Naruto explained. Everyone gasped at that information. "That is also where I gained one of my abilities which Yu-chan made into a bloodline for me."
"And that is?" Asked a bored Hikari.
"Seal less alchemy. I mastered seals when I turned ten so I needed to find some way to occupy myself. And before you ask yes I recreated your Flying Thunder God technique and improved it." He clapped his hands together and used some of the wood from the desk to make a wooden shuriken that had an intricate design on it. He wiped some blood on it and threw it before 'jumping' to where it was in a black flash. "I can use anything as a target weapon. Now if you will excuse me I am leaving." He was gone in another black flash, taking Cortana with him.
=Flashback End=
"Naruto?" Kakashis voice could be heard behind him.
"Yes Kakashi?" Naruto said intentionally leaving off the sensei.
"What are you doing up here? Why aren't you at the party at the Namikaze clan home with the rest of your family?" The cycloptic Jounin seemed genuinely curious.
"What family?" Naruto turned around to face his teams 'sensei'. "I have no family. The Namikazes left me here alone and I raised myself. I am the only person in my family."
"Naruto you know that's not-" Kakashi started only to be cut off.
"Sorry Kakashi but I have to go. Cortana-chan just found Tsunade and I would like to see if she is worth trying to have any kind of relationship with." Kakashi could feel Naruto using some chakra before a black and crimson armor appeared completely covering his body. Without a glance he then back flipped off of the tower when he heard the roaring of the pelican engines. Seconds later he and the pelican were gone.
"You really fucked up sensei. You and Kushina both." Kakashi disappeared in a swirl of leaves.