Me Before You

"C'mon Will, it will be fun! You'll get to meet new people who are going through things just as you are," Nathan says as he rolls me up the steep ramp.

I roll my eyes, "I can make friends on my own, I don't need to go to a support group to do so. Nathan please take me back home."

"I am not going to do that Sir, your mother insisted I take you."

Nathan rolls me into the building and down the hall to a small room. Many people are already in here, most of them in wheelchairs as well. Though they are all like me, I still feel uncomfortable.

"Welcome Will, we're glad you could join us today," says a man a little too perky for my taste, "I am Benjamin Warner, your group leader."

I just nod my head and stare up at him. I can see in his eyes he can tell I don't want to be here.

"Why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself," Warner adds.

I exhale and look around. Everyone's eyes are on me. Each one looking at me with interested eyes, eager to hear my story. I know most of them know who I am.

"I'm Will Traynor, don't you already know who I am? I mean I used to be a wealthy man for christ sakes!" I shout.

I really don't feel like explaining my story to people that already know, it's pointless. Everyone's eyes look shocked and stunned, though my gaze falls on one girl. She doesn't look like the others. She is in a wheelchair, yes, but her gaze is soft, eyes big and interested. She must not know who I am. Now I am the one who is shocked.

"Well okay, let's get this going. Shall we?" said Warner.

About an hour later, the meeting is finally done. I snap my fingers at Nathan as soon as Warner is done talking and am the first one out the door.

"How was that?" Nathan teased.

"Get me home, Nathan" I snapped. I am too tired to fuel his amusement.

Nathan was just about to lift me into the car when I hear a voice behind me.

"Hey, do you have a minute?" I turn around to see the same soft face girl rolling towards me in a wheelchair.

She's using her own arms to propel her forward, a paraplegic. Oh, how envious I am. I just stare at her blankly.

"I just wanted to introduce myself, I am Louisa Clarke." she holds out a hand for me to shake.

I again, just stare at it blankly. Slowly she realizes and takes her hand away.

"I'm so sorry. As you can tell, I don't know you like the others do. But you seemed like you needed a friend." She smiles widely, I only offer a small smile.

I am not a big fan of friends.

"Thank you, but I am fine with just myself and Nathan, here. Please Nathan, take me home." I say sternly.

That smile of hers turns downwards, disappointed. Nathan lifts me into the car and has the door almost shut when suddenly a hand stops it from slamming. It's the Clarke girl.

"If you ever change your mind, here's my number," She slips a little square piece of paper into my hand.

I give a slight nod and then she shuts the door.

Driving off Nathan says, "She was a pretty lady." raising his eyebrows at me in the mirror.

I just shake my head and look away. I wasn't going to admit that I thought so too.

It's been a few weeks since the support group. I told my mother and Nathan that after that first time, I was not going back. It hurt more than it helped. There was one thing I couldn't get out of my mind, though. That Clarke girl, Louisa I think she said it was. She was the only person that has looked at me differently since the accident. Sitting in my hand was that little square piece of paper. I stared at it for the longest time, debating whether or not calling her was a good idea.

"Nathan!" I yelled.

Not a second later, Nathan walked into the room.

"Yes, Will?"

"Will you call this number and invite them over for lunch?" Nathan gave me a small smile and nodded.

"I knew you would come around to it." Nathan chuckled.

Once again, I just rolled my eyes.

About an hour later, I hear a knock at the door. Nathan rushed over to it and opened it to the one and only, Louisa Clarke. She smiled brightly and greeted Nathan.

She turns to me, "I thought you would never call!" She giggles a little.

"Are you hungry?" I ask, avoiding the statement.

"Yes, I could eat."

I wave Nathan over, "Could you make us some sandwiches?"

"Yes, right away Sir." Nathan scurries off into the kitchen.

An awkward silence floats between me and her. I'm unsure of what to say, I am not a social person anymore. I start to sweat, suddenly nervous. I think she can sense it too. This was such a bad idea, I should've never invited her over. What was I thinking?

Thankfully, she breaks the silence first, "So, how did you get to be this way?"

I exhale, relieved and annoyed. I have been asked this question so many times.

"I was in a horrible accident. It totally flipped my life around." She just nodded her head.

Her big brown eyes were reading deep into mine, expecting me to say more. When I didn't, it caught her off guard and she sat up a little straighter in her wheelchair.

Clearing her throat she said, "Well I am sorry that that happened to you."

I gave a slight smile, and she returned one.

"How about you? How did you end up in a wheelchair?" I asked, actually curious.

She takes a deep breath and I prepare myself for a long story, "Well about a year ago, I was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. It started off in my left foot, then traveled up my entire leg, paralyzing it. A few months later, the cancer had spread to my other leg. Now, it's all the way up to my hip joints, but I am in chemotherapy and rehab, and those seem to keep it under control. The doctors don't know what kind of cancer it is, which makes it all the more harder to get rid of, but it is what it is." She shrugs her shoulders,"All we can do now is hope for the best."

She smiles at me. Somehow, she makes me feel not alone. I can't help but feel her and I are the same. And I envy her positivity.

"How can you be so cheerful when this is all happening to you? I mean, the cancer could spread to your brain and kill you at any moment." I state.

Her eyes are wide and her mouth is gaping open looking at me.

She stays like a statue for a moment and then swallows, "Well I try not to think like that, Will."

She says my name sternly, like I have offended her. I don't see how, I was just curious. Soon Nathan walks in the room with the sandwiches. Thank goodness.

"Just in time," I let out a huge breath.

Nathan hands Clarke her sandwich and then pulls up a chair next to me. Clarke observes him for just a moment and then goes back to enjoying her sandwich. I am thankful she doesn't look at me while Nathan feeds me, it's not exactly one of the most charming things in the world.

After lunch, I offer Clarke to a stroll through the garden and she happily obliges. She stays for about an hour so more after and we talk about the most randomest things: birds in the sky, different shapes of clouds, her sister Treena, what she is doing tomorrow, etc. After she leaves, I find myself in a weird mood. One I haven't felt since before the accident. I think I actually feel joy, or maybe just comfort, but better all the same. I am not sure if I like this feeling or not.

For the next few weeks, Clarke comes over a few more times. Each time is better than the last, actually making me laugh this past visit. Today, she is coming over again. A little later than usual though, due to having rehab at noon. I also would've had rehab today but I rescheduled it for later so I could see her for a few hours. Nathan is keeping me busy by making me read or walking with me outside but I am distracted by the thought of her. About an hour past noon, the doorbell rings. I smile with glee because I know it is her.

Nathan goes to open the door and then I butt in before he reaches it, "Excuse me, Nathan? Aren't you forgetting something?"

He looks confused for a moment.

"Oh, right Sir! I had almost forgotten," He turns around to come roll me to the door to open it instead.

My recent rehab visits have dramatically improved my coordination in my arms and hands, so I had asked Nathan if I could start opening the doors now. Though I am able to move my hands and lift my arms now, I wouldn't classify myself as a paraplegic just yet.

I open the door to see the beautiful Louisa Clarke. I smile widely at her, but the smile that would usually mirror mine doesn't surface.

"What's wrong Clarke?" I ask worriedly.

I notice that she no longer rolls herself in with her arms. She got a new wheelchair, one that is identical to mine. It has a joystick for maneuvering.

"My cancer has spread to my arms and slightly into my hands. I am in a lot of pain and the chemo and rehab is not working," I no longer see the happy go lucky Louisa I know. I see a girl that is defeated and giving up.

"Hey, hey, hey, if there's hope for me, there's hope for you," I encourage.

She just gives me a sad smile.

"My hair is even falling out, Will." she cries.

I am devastated, and I see the perfect opportunity to do something that I have wanted to do for awhile now. I cup her face in my hands and kiss her for the first time ever. It was a quick kiss, but a meaningful one.

She looks back at me stunned, "What was that for?"

I looked at her thoughtfully, "Does there have to be a reason, Louisa? Maybe I just wanted to kiss you."

That arose a small giggle out of her, but I could still see the pain behind her eyes.

"Tell you what, why don't I take you out to dinner? Tomorrow night, just you and me, at your favorite place." I try to keep a light hearted spirit.

"Will, as lovely as that would be, I don't want to go out like this." Her eyes look up, motioning to her hair. Thin and fragile, it is.

I can't believe what I am about to do, but she is well worth it, "Well then why don't we both go out like that?"

She looks at me very confused.

"Nathan?" I shout, "Could you go get my razor please?"

He rounds the corner and walks into the bathroom. A few moments later, he walks out with my razor in hand and a small garbage in the other. We meet eyes and he's just as surprised as Louisa. Neither of them would've thought I would do such a thing.

"Oh Will, I can't ask you to do that." Louisa says trying to stop me.

"You didn't ask me, Louisa," Nathan turns on the razor and starts to shave my head,"I volunteered. And when Nathan is done with me, he'll start with you. Then we can be twins!" I chuckle.

She still has a worried look on her face. I think she's scared that I am going to regret doing this for her, but I will not. For the only girl that understands me, I would do anything.

About twenty minutes later, we're both done with our "hair appointment." Nathan hands me a mirror, I stare at my bald head for a little bit. It's definitely a change, but a good one at that. I turn the mirror so it faces Louisa, she's not as excited as I am. Her face goes white when she sees her bald head. He mouth gapes open, and she stares in awe. She looks at me, and then smiles.

"Do you like it?" I ask.

"I love it!" She laughs and I take her hand. She grips mine lightly.

"Thank you, Will, for doing that." She says softly.

"Anything for you, Louisa." She smiles at me. "Are you ready for dinner now?" I grin.

"I sure am!" she grins back.

A few hours later, Nathan drives me and Louisa to her favorite restaurant. The date goes well, I keep her cheerful and happy. A few people stare at us, but we both blow it off, not caring. At the end of the night, I kiss her once more and then Nathan drops her off at home. Driving back home, I realize that I am sad. Not sad because of the limitations of my condition, but because I really hope for the best for Louisa. I want her in my life.

A few months have gone by now. I've taken Louisa out on many more dates and showered her in as much love as I could. Her hair is finally starting to grow back, supporting a small buzz cut now. Her chemo seems to be working, so much that there is just minimal amounts of cancer cells left in her body. She blames her health on me and my cheerful spirit because it keeps her happy, and that she is incredibly grateful for. She is coming over today, but today isn't just a regular day. Today she gets to find out if she is cancer free or not.

When she arrives, I open the door to a frowning Louisa. I myself become sad...but then I snap out of it. I remember I have to be positive for her.

"Louisa, it's okay, you will get through thi-"

"I am cancer free!" she shouts, cutting me off. I instantly smile and laugh, and so does she."I had you there for a second, didn't I?" she asks playfully.

"Yes, yes you did," I laugh. "You're a little trickster, you are," I point a finger at her and then kiss her.

"We should celebrate!" Nathan says, peering through the doorway.

I nod, "We most definitely should! I am thinking about a nice family dinner? We can invite your family, Louisa, and my family and break the wonderful news to them?"

"Well my family already knows, but we can break the news to your family if you would like?" she rebuddles.

"I think they would love that, and I think it's time our families met each other." I take her hand and smile.

"Let's make it for tomorrow then!" I shout.

"I'll call and let everyone know." Nathan says.

The rest of the day, everyone was happy as can be. The spirit between us was light and joyful. I couldn't wait for the next day.

I never even make it to the next day. The last thing I remember, I woke up in the middle of the night unable to breath. I was laying in bed, though, it felt like I was drowning in a swimming pool. My lungs were filled up with fluid. We were all so excited about Louisa beating cancer that I must have forgotten to take my pills. An unfortunate mistake. The doctors warned me that I would have another episode of pneumonia if I didn't take my pills. I just lay there, gasping for air, my vision coming and going. My last thought is of Louisa, how happy she makes me and how if she was here right now, all my pain would go away. The last thing I see is a blurry face, looks a lot like Nathan but at this point I have no idea. Then I go unconscious, never to wake up again.

I feel a lot right now. Sadness, shock, devastation, pain. I can't believe he is gone. I didn't even get to say goodbye. It happened about a month ago, but I still can't wrap my head around the fact that Will, my Will, is gone. Our family dinner never happened, for our family was broken now. A piece is missing from the puzzle. I try to keep my mind off of it by watching TV, but Will's death is plastered all over the news. The news makes him sound dreadful, and unloving of life. At first he was, but then he found himself and we found each other. I don't want people to remember him as the former rich man, now in a wheelchair. I want people to see how he truly was. A kind man. Therefore I, Louisa Clark, am creating an organization. This organization will be for anyone in a wheelchair, struggling with their circumstances. A support group of sorts it will be, and I will tell Will's story. I want people to know if Will Traynor can fight back, so can they.