A/N: This scene follows immediately after the team meeting near the end of the ep talking about Wally taking a break, but before Jesse leaves (during the Wally/Jesse ILY scene if you will). And obviously, it's Barry asking if he can stay with Cisco for a while before he breaks up with Iris.
*Many thanks to sendtherain, the best beta anyone could ask for.
*I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.
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The heavy silence weighing on all of them, Barry made to depart the room. To check on Wally and Jesse, he told himself, though Jesse had told all of them both she and Wally would meet up with them in the speed lab when they were ready. So when that excuse didn't fly, he concocted the one of heading to his day job. But since he obviously wouldn't be doing that until they'd seen Jesse safely off, he was at a loss again.
Still, he found himself stopped in the hallway, unsure of what to do next.
"Hey, Allen."
Barry turned around to see Julian having followed him, a look of concern and some hesitation on his face.
"What is it, Julian?"
No-nonsense. Flash in control. Though by the unaltered look on Julian's face, he knew his weariness still showed.
"I just wanted to tell you that, I…I can make up an excuse for you today."
Barry's brows furrowed.
"At CCPD," he clarified. "You should rest. Take the day off."
He closed his eyes at the irony, his stickler of a co-worker suggesting he take time away from work.
"Julian, I…appreciate the gesture, but the Flash won't stop saving people because he had a rough night. Barry Allen can't either."
"I know, but—"
"Cisco!" he called out, because he needed to exit the conversation.
Luckily, his best friend peeked his head out right away and came as soon as Barry nudged his head in Julian's direction.
Barry turned back to face Julian.
"Look, I really do appreciate what you're trying to do, but I'm okay. Really." He glanced at Cisco who was moments away from being right beside him. "And I need to talk to Cisco about something right now, so if you don't mind…?"
Julian nodded once and took a step back.
"Sure. Right. I'll just…"
Barry fully faced Cisco, but didn't say a word until he was sure Julian was out of ear shot.
"What's up?" Cisco asked, folding his arms across his chest and eyeing his best friend curiously. "Why the sudden need to get rid of Julian?"
Barry shook his head, then stuffed his hands in his pockets.
"It's nothing. I just…" He fixed his eyes on Cisco's. "I needed to talk to you."
"So, talk."
He cleared his throat, the request struggling to pass through parted lips, his eyes flitting away until he had the courage to look up again.
"I was wondering…if your couch is still available."
Cisco blinked, and then his face fell when the realization dawned on him.
"Iris?" he asked hoarsely, the name dragged out of him along with the implications it held.
Barry nodded, and Cisco swallowed hard.
"She asked you to… I mean…"
Barry didn't answer that, just shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes set on the floor again. Cisco sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
"I guess I just thought that after yesterday, after last night, I mean… Well, she was so scared when we lost the tether to you and so relieved when you get back. We all were."
Barry nodded along, but his words revealed none of the consideration Cisco had hoped they would.
"It doesn't change anything, Cisco." He lifted his head to look at him. "She was acting out of fear, just like I was when I proposed to her."
Cisco didn't like that. He didn't like how Barry shut down and brushed aside all hope for his relationship. He sought for something that could bring him back to the Barry he knew.
"That still has to mean something," he insisted, but Barry shook his head.
"Our love for each other was never in question. But love doesn't fix everything. It doesn't fix us. I'm sure she'll have remembered that by the time I see her later today.
Cisco's brows furrowed as he tried to process Barry's words. Something wasn't connecting. And then suddenly the realization hit him like a ton of bricks.
He lifted his hands to stop Barry from speaking further.
"Wait a minute. Are you saying… Iris hasn't kicked you out?"
Barry hesitated, briefly unsure of how to proceed. Cisco took the fleeting opportunity and pressed forward.
"You're moving out voluntarily." His eyes were wide, but it wasn't a question. Another dot formed in his mind, and the line connecting to the others latched onto it. "Are you—" He lowered his voice and looked around quickly to make sure no one could hear them. "Are you going to break up with her?"
"Cisco," Barry said steadily, determined not to be thwarted. "I just need to know if your couch is going to be available or not," he paused. "For as long as I need it. I promise it won't be forever. I just need some time to figure things out."
Cisco stared at him in disbelief, feeling as if he'd taken a punch to the stomach. He grasped Barry's arms with shaking hands and stared into his eyes so intensely he knew his best friend couldn't possibly look away.
"Barry, I know you just went through a lot and you deserve whatever method of coping you think you need to move forward, but…" He took a deep breath. "You can't just assume that Iris is going to want to break up with you." He gave Barry's arms a firm shake, hoping it would knock some sense into him. "You waited for her for years."
Barry swallowed hard, his eyes starting to well up despite his intention to keep his emotions in check.
"You're going to throw that all away?" He shook his head when Barry didn't respond. "You'll regret it. I know you will. She's not going to wait around forever. You can't ask her to do that."
Barry blinked away tears. Cisco gave him another shove, this one more gentle.
"Fight for your relationship."
Barry swallowed hard and looked away again.
It's not about that, he wanted to say. But he knew Cisco wouldn't understand, and he didn't want to explain it right now. Plus he was right. There was every possibility that by the time Savitar was dealt with and there was no tragic future set before them, Iris wouldn't want to be with him anymore.
Was he really willing to risk all that?
Yes, the voice inside him insisted almost instantly. To save her life you'd risk your own happiness, and you know it.
"Cisco," he said, his voice firm again. There was no need to repeat the question.
Cisco sighed as his arms dropped to his sides.
"You know my home is always open to you, Barry, especially right now."
Barry looked up at him and nodded once.
"But please promise me you'll use it as a last resort, not a first one?"
Barry couldn't answer or guarantee, so he looked away.
"I'm going to talk to Iris first," he said instead, which gave Cisco an unholy amount of relief that he knew he shouldn't be feeling. Barry met his gaze again. "Promise me you won't say a word to her about this, to anyone."
Cisco nodded once. "Of course."
Barry forced a smile. "Thanks."
They both glanced down the hall at the sound of Wally and Jesse approaching. Barry turned back to Cisco, his eyes lightened slightly, as if the talk they'd just had hadn't happened at all.
"Let's go send our speedster to her new home."
Cisco managed to make his own smile somewhat genuine. He stepped back into the cortex to summon the rest of the team and followed Barry, Wally, and Jesse down the hall toward the speed lab.
