"This can't be healthy Kyle" The stern look in the black haired boy matched his utterly serious tone.
"It's just some bruises dude… Not a big deal" Kyle shrugged and winced a bit at the pain in his side.
"Just some bruises?!" Stan exclaimed indignant "You call this not a big deal Kyle? Look at this, it's fucking black already!" He pointed to the indeed black spots over the surface that should have been clear.
"Calm down. It's not like it hasn't happened before" Kyle rolled his eyes.
"Exactly! I'm gonna have a talk with Cartman about this" Stan frowned deeply.
"Dude no!" Kyle pleaded to his best friend "That will only make things worse. You know how upset he is already about getting a b on that last math test…"
"I can't understand how can you date someone who does this kind of shit" The black haired boy shook his head "You can do so much better than this…"
"Don't say that. He might have his rough patches but I do love him and besides, compared to the stuff he used to do this is kinda nothing" Kyle scoffed and winced again. Stan shot him a concerned look and Kyle just smiled reassuringly.
"It's still fucking wrong dude. Something like this shouldn't happen in a healthy relationship" Stan looked painfully all over the darkened spots that covered a really large area.
"Now you're being overly dramatic" Kyle frowned a bit "I hate it when people say shit like that. We do have a good relationship okay? It's probably my fault anyways. If I had programmed the alarm we wouldn't have slept in and this wouldn't have happened. You know he gets… Clumsy when he's upset and sleepy"
"How can you say that Kyle? Something like this could never be your fault!" Stan was clearly becoming agitated now.
"Dude, calm down… it was just an accident" Kyle snickered a bit condescendingly and that seemed to rile Stan up even more.
"No Kyle! You may have said that the first couple of times he did something like this but you can't keep letting this kind of shit slide all the time!" Stan had raised his voice and was looking utterly aggravated to his friend "This wasn't an accident! This was deliberate and sadistic!" He was yelling now and Kyle looked around to the people who were staring at them in the cafeteria "He knows how much you hate bananas and he not only packed you one for lunch but he also picked one that's fucking rotten!"
Stan had gotten up from his chair and Kyle did the same, grabbing his friend by the shoulders and shaking him "Dude! Calm the fuck down already! It's just a shitty fruit for Moses' sake!" Stan seemed to snap out of his outburst and sat down. Kyle sighed and plopped onto the chair too "And it's not rotten. It doesn't even smells bad or anything. He just probably didn't even saw what he was grabbing from the basket"
"It's still fucked up" Stan pouted a bit glaring at the offending fruit.
"Actually it's sweet that he at least tried to pack some lunch for me with how bad he's been lately" Kyle chuckled and then shot a concerned look at his friend "Dude, those new meds they gave you in therapy are really messing up your emotions"
"Ugh I know…" Stan groaned annoyed "I'm gonna ask them to be changed next week" He sighed and smiled apologetically at his friend "Sorry for this…"
"It's okay dude. I know you didn't mean ill with this. But you do get over protective sometimes" Kyle patted on Stan's shoulder.
"Guess I'm still not used to see you and Cartman together…"Stan sighed.
"Well, you should get used to it because from how things are going now I expect this to be a permanent thing" Kyle smiled and Stan did so too seeing his friend being so happy about this "Anyways, I think I will make a hard pass on dessert today" Kyle chuckled and got up making a pained face and clutching his side.
Stan grimaced "You got really beat up at yesterday's game…"
"Yeah but we won so it was worthy" Kyle grinned and then smirked "The celebratory really rough sex from last night might have not helped to it though"
"Dude! Don't talk about that when I just ate" Stan made a feigned disgusted expression and they both laughed while leaving the cafeteria.
***Disclaimer: I don't own the South Park characters or any of the brand names mentioned in this story. I don't own any of the songs mentioned on the story or used as chapter titles.